Dreams of Plague
"Too few ratings to be ranked"
Played 118 times (finished 17)
"No possible way to lose"
"A nice jog down the driveway"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 18. If this were a movie, it would probably be R.
This is a historical fiction game where the reader makes choices in three different places experiencing major bubonic plague outbreaks. The first chapter explores Constantinople during the The Plague of Justinian (540s)(1). The second chapter is set in Paris during the infamous Black Death (1348-1350)(1), and the third chapter takes place in the Chinatown district of Honolulu (1900) (8).
Plagues and diseases? Always a fun stuff for me! Hehe, glad to see that you included the justinian plague in this story. If you ever want to expand on it: the pneunomic plague of 1924 in LA, US is quite an interesting read.
on 12/21/2021 10:44:59 AM with a score of 0
I enjoyed the story itself. I like how it took you through different time periods and how the plague impacted the characters you have. There is room for improvement with some proofreading, but this would be better as a short story in it's current state.
I say this because there are few actual branching choices, as a majority of them lead into eachother (examples: Chapter 2, Chapter 3). This make the game very linear. If given more time to explore different branches, I think the reader would learn more from the time periods and how society reacted to the plgaue. The branching would not only help categorize this as a CYOA, but allow you to venture deeper into the setting, making an overall experience more enjoyable.
on 12/16/2021 11:34:30 AM with a score of 0
Play through several different plagues in this dream within a dream within a dream. Will you survive the sickness?
- Listing the sources at the end of the text was something more edutainment games should do. I’ve given a few of them (specifically 4,7 and 8) a read, they’re clearly interesting pieces of history and your enthusiasm for them shines in the script. However, I wish the sources linked to information at the bottom of each of the pages instead of at the end: flipping through the webpages was annoying.
- Grammar is on point. There are a few SPAG mistakes, listed below, but these are minimal.
Things to improve:
- First, SPAG. Here’s the mistakes I’ve spotted:
1) On the ‘The Plague of Justinian (542)’ page, you say ‘contact with the cold tile beneath you’. Is this one singular large tile? If not, it’s ‘tiles’ because it’s a plural.
2) On the ‘You take the robed man's hand.’ Page, you write ‘"His only gift" you mutter under your breath.’ This should be ‘"His only gift," you mutter under your breath.’
3) On the ‘Talk to your cellmate.’ page, you write ‘gird of wooden bars.’ Unless you mean to encircle a belt and this is a metaphor, I’m assuming this should be ‘grid’.
4) On the ‘Take the job’ page, you write ‘grave sit’ instead of ‘grave site’.
- This story is rated 7/8 on the maturity scale, I wouldn’t worry about censoring the word ‘fucking’.
- On the ‘you take the robed man’s hand’ page, all my choices lead to the same ending. Why even offer them? I feel that this game in general could have been written as a short story as it’s a gauntlet with almost zero choice, since at the end of each chapter it links back round to the next chapter (no matter your choices).
Overall this is a good story for, what I’m pretty sure is, a school project. I wish there were more choices, but overall it is well written. I look forward to your future works, if any.
on 12/16/2021 10:48:54 AM with a score of 0
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