Player Comments on Horus

A boomer story! Which probably why it has the rating that it does.

Still the information that is given is so small that school children who have come to the site to make stories have given more effort that what was put here.

With how short it is there's not really much to say either.

I can't say I really learned all to much since a lot of this is already common Egyptian knowledge.

Not much else to say.

How the hell does this have an almost four rating--oh. 2006.

The writing in this was not too great. We are just told that our father who is a god was cut up into pieces and died, and we (who are also a god) are now avenging him. All in the first paragraph. That is not how I get interested in a story.
There's hardly any description. The whole thing just feels like a picture book written by a young child, except it has no pictures and is not nearly as interesting as whatever the average child's imagination can come up with.
The grammar and such wasn't bad--at least I didn't notice a whole lot of problems. The writing was just very boring.

I don't think any page was more than a few sentences long, but some had only one link anyway. Why? I don't know.

There is a place where both choices lead to the exact same page, and most of the story in general is "choose the right choice or die." Not really any branching.

I've seen worse. I've seen a lot worse.
But this was not that good.

This storygame offers a sort-of version of Horus's rivalry with Set. There are bits of interesting mythology--sort of--scattered about, including a list of gods at the end, but overall the story is just too short to do anything interesting or offer any meaningful narrative.

Mainly, the structure is a central throughline with little branches off it where you fail--essentially linear. It's a valiant first effort, and it's a great idea for a game.

This was sort of "eh." There really is no major plot involved, no great intrigue.

Nice piece of cultural appropriation you got there

This story lacks any inclusion of many Egyptian gods/goddesses. The attacking is kind of simple and doesn't really have much good description. I like the idea of the story, but it needs to be fleshed out

The way you mangles and bastardized egytpian mythology is truly astounding. Completely apart from the game being repetitive short filled with grammatical errors and pathetically simple your lack of understanding of the most basic Egyptian mythology made this game unpleasant. The only real shock is that Horus didn't smite you for besmirching his name.

Not a bad story game. It could do with some proof reading. It would be better if the introduction was slightly longer and explained more of who Set is and what powers he has etc. Decent effort.

it was very short ad not that diffiaclut

not bad

It is intresting How I picture set is in red suit with a red afro lol.

it was ight

Good. :)

great use of mythology!

Well I really liked all the knowledge about the Eyption Gods, and the story was really good, but maybe the writing could use some more detail as to what's going on.

Not bad, learned something about egyptian gods

That was a cool game. I'd recomend it to fans of Mythology

Good game, and I always though Anubis was the god of death, thnxs for clearing that up.

Needs more zazz.

Nice ! ! !

The surprise (SPOILER ALERT!) is info about the egyption gods,isn't it?

Enjoyed!

Pretty fun

In one book I read (mentel_floss presents: Forbidden Knowledge) it said that Isis had Horus ejaculate onto a piece of lettuce and tricked Set into eating it, thus making him symbolically "pregnant" by Horus and thus subservient to him and when the semen "came forth from him" [not going to speculate how] Set got humiliated before the gods

Good story. I think it is more suitable if you put it in edutainment though

This is short but pretty fun though

Good, but short.

meh, it was alright.way too linear for my tastes. I'm not big on egyptian mythology, so yeah,perhaps someone who was would enjoy it more

i like it. i just started to learn bout egyption civilisation! it's sooo cool! make it slightly longer or do a sequel and you could be really good t this!

Really easy and short but interesting.

a little too simple but still good game. i liked the info about the gods at the end.

Meh, didn't really like it. 4/8

Well I am happy you stayed truthful to the myths.

I love Mythology, but the choices were rediculously easy. Bo approves

This was interesting. Although there were few paths to choose from, I wonder if they would all get to the same result. Also, I liked that you added some Egyptian God/Goddess facts at the end. It was a nice touch.

this was fun. i like egypt. great story!

cool i got horus

Pretty good, but a bit more description would have been nice.

it wuz ok, i guess, it could have been longer and more graphic and not quite so easy! but anyways THUMBS UP!

Good story. Interesting mythology.

It was an ok game. It could have been longer and a little more gory.

Wow, not a bad game at all.
I love Egyptian mythology.
5/8!

Awww, i failed by getting killed by a crocodile. Hey, arent i like a god or something ? ?:(

It would be a GREAT story if the story and scenarios were described in more detail. Still, I like the concept.

Hey, GMDaniel, the Stargate people ripped off their names from Egyptian mythology! Nice mythos game, if a bit linear. I give points to anything Egypt. (I *am* the god of the desert!)

The game itself was okay, but I think the names at the end were ripped off from Stargate SG-1.

They go to the same place in the end, but the story was supurb. Thanks for helping me remember about the Egyptian stuff. The fight scenes were well done as well. Most people just go on and on about blood, but yours was serious. Well done, sir.

I rated it a 5. I'd give it a 6 but it's linear and there are glaring spelling errors. Even though it's linear, I like it.

TOOOOOOO True

Kind of linear, but better. Nice job!

I like the Egyptian touch, especially with the glossary at the end. The writing is pretty good, but you have some problems with tenses throughout. Also, some of the choices that kill the reader seem arbitrary. Try expanding the story so it's not so linear. Good job.

Yeah, it is too linear. It's still alright.

Not bad, but be more detailed. I quite liked this short game, however it was tooooo linear.

the options were few but the story was cool. good effort on the story telling. just add more depth in terms of options and you could have a great story here. also, check out http://www.xombified.com/episodes.html for something i think you would like.