Player Comments on Host

Very eerie and creepy, I liked it. Your ability to create tense and horrifying situations is remarkable. I never truly felt safe for a single second, and this made me only want to escape to somewhere safe even more.

It also helped that the descriptions of the hosts were creative. Rather than being a typical zombie game in which nothing is explained as to why the undead are suddenly attacking, this subverts it and I liked that aspect. While some tried and true cliches were present, this was written well enough that such minor detriments were not an issue in spoiling my enjoyment of the story.

Bravo! :)

Still, it sucks when things end a bit abruptly. You certainly have plenty of talent to make something enjoyable and unique from the zombie genre, and it certainly would have been a positive if this was a bit longer. As a standalone storygame, this is written well. It's a rather impressive introduction when all things are considered, but one that leaves a slightly bittersweet taste.

Overall, this is something that I would like to see continued.

Although this game was rather short, it was enjoyable. I felt that the plot was a bit cliche (rather similar to a zombie survival story), but you did a good job making your story unique. The descriptions of the scenes were well-written, and you included the right amount of details - enough so that I could see what was going on without growing bored or overwhelmed. I also liked the choices you gave us. You provided enough so that I felt like I was a part of the story and had the ability to control its flow. The fact that you had good grammar and spelling was a bonus - it becomes frustrating when I see a good story, but it's barely readable due to many mistakes. I encourage you to continue writing. 6/8

Not bad, I like your style of writing and the tension is there. Unfortunately this is still a zombie apocalypse game with a twist and those are a dime a dozen so if you're going to go down this well-worn road you need to do something to really stand out otherwise the whole story feels fairly predictable. This was a good start but if you write a sequel I think you should get much more ambitious :)

As the first storygame I'm ever reviewing, I'll say that while it's not very long, it's got good writing, conveys more than enough details about the scene to help me picture it in my head, and the writing is believable and interesting. A deeper exploration of the world and a larger endgoal besides escaping would be the things that I'd really like to see in a sequel, if there ever is one. All in all, cool story!

Okay, I in the process of completing and rating every horror game on this website, and this is definitely in my top five for best at delivering an uncomfortable, suspenseful, and genuinely horrific atmosphere. Bravo!

I escaped lol, cool :) looking forward to a sequel!

Awesome story :). But, There is a lot of swearing. That’s not necessarily Bad, it’s just a little unpleasant. But other than that, great story!
(I got into the Subaru and best ending :). I’m working on a zombie game with Nose119. I’m also working on a story about raindrops.)

I thought it was very good, but very short. I really got into the story and then it was over 1-2 pages later. A sequel would be cool, but maybe expand on this game a bit first? Or release a couple short sequels so the story can progress. In terms of what was actually there it was very creepy and suspenseful! I like the idea and premise. The olny thing I don’t get: why do the worms kill some people and exit, while others are taken over as “hosts?” For example the mechanic, shouldn’t the worm take over him and attack using him? Maybe it drops the gun, because it doesn’t know how to use one, but then the mechanic should attack. After you kill him, perhaps the worm comes out and you proceed to the battle with it? It would make the story longer and more consistent. Also the last page, “this is the best possible ending...” I am not sure if this is unfinished or if this was intended to be like a note after the story, but it felt out of place. Just have an ending and let the reader play around to find out if it’s the “best” ending or not. I might have played again to check out other options!

keep it going!

Written well, but a bit more depth in endings would have made it feel more like a story and less like a see if you can survive the night kinda game. Basically you either live or die. Overall it was a creepy little story. The part where the parasite was trying to get into your characters mouth is definitely the moment which sticks out for me as the creepiest.

Way too short. I got the best ending in like 5 or 6 minutes. Grammar was good, punctuation was flawless. It was a decent story, it succeeded in making me feel unsettled when I was playing, would've liked a lot more content.

It was not badly written, and I enjoyed the story, but I think it was lacking in the choices department. The majority of the choices had no affect on the story save an extra page.
SPOILERS
For example: when you are in the car with the co-worker, you have the option to listen to the radio or not. If you choose to, you hear a news report on the parasite. Whichever you choose, the next page after has the co-worker freaking out. It would have maybe been good if the author had made it so that he was calm until you got to the hospital if he didn't hear the report. Either way he I infected, but that would have opened up more possibilities for what could happen next.

it's short but very fulfilling for a first game

This was okay. However, attempt to work up the suspense better. Try to develop the story a little more. Then this could be much better.

It's a good story, although not finished.

You have some writing skill, I would suggest that you read through and correct so of the spelling errors, this would make the story easier to read.

I would go away and develop a full story with several arcs. A story should really have a proper ending, at the moment this one just stops abruptly.

All in all, a good start, however I'd like to se the plot fleshed out.

Ummm... I’m confused. Where are the other endings?
You either die or escape.

Not bad. A few spelling errors, and I felt like the story could use some more content.

I was disappointed by the ending. Maybe add a "To be continued..."? The story is better than it's current rating.

Well written but short. I got the best ending on my first play through. Would like to see more, this is a really good start.

nice start, carry on

I got the best ending! Yay! I actually really liked this game, but it could've extended much longer after me fleeing Spearville. Good job, though! Keep up the good work!

There's a broken link.
"Turn around. The town is dead, and the sign says 'Closed'"
I click that, and nothing happens.

Other than that, really, really good. The death scenes are really, really well written.

I would like to see some illustrations!

Nice job! The grammar and spelling were great, and I enjoyed reading this story. Additionally, seeing as this is your first story game, I think you did an amazing job- much better than I did. A 6/8 for you, and I hope you write more story games in the future; I loved reading this piece!

Not bad. Had a very cliche "Zombie Story" ring to it, but was told well. It was also good to see that you didn't write a few lines on a page, and that there was a good amount of content on each link. Quite easy though.

4/8, but seeing as this is your first, I look forward to what you can produce as your writing career develops.

A decent addition to the site's horror category compared with many other stories that are being made. Well done.

Got the best ending. Pretty good for a first effort.

Mm.. Yes yes...

I recommend making the whole game all at once, not with sequels. If you're considering making more of the game, that is. Otherwise, it is a really well made game. A little short, but engaging and with decent choices.

Yes! I got the best ending on my first try! This was a nice story game.

Nice game. It could use a bit of polishing, though, and there were several typos.

This has made me like Horror even more. :D

This was great for a first-timer! Although I couldn't picture the scene very well in my head..and that's kind of bad. You see, with enough detail, I can actually picture my surroundings. Little things like that could be altered. Also, the worm reproducing? That was strange, and you could explain it further for a better response from the reader.

It was an amazing story, with an actual plot and not just some old normal "Zombie Apocalypse". At least this one had SOME explanation to what was controlling the victims brain.

What ever happened to Mike? Will we find out in the next game?

Anyways, the storyline, plot, backstory, and the gameplay was awesome. I would say this is the 2nd best Apocalypse game I've read.

The "screw spearville" link is broken.