Player Comments on Live the Life of a Cat
Well, it's not warriors...
So, the first issue we have with the game is that there are no real choices. A few pages had links ranging from about one to four. The issue with the pages with more then one link, is that it pretends to offer choices and branching, when in reality, if you choose any of the links besides one specific one, they all just link you to the other option that progresses you. Your job as the author of a choose-your-own-adventure story is to make sure the reader has meaningful choices and a pleasant experience reading it.
That being said, I did find the writing and the overall story in general to be rather cute. It was short, but had a certain charm to it that made it quite adorable to read through.
The detail could use work. Not having much detail certainly raised the linearity of this story, and made for a rather confusing setting at most points.
Character development was below average. It would have been nicer if you'd made a better attempt to flesh out the emotion and characteristics of the characters in this story, because then the reader would have a better reason to try and understand how the characters feel.
2/8, try harder, you've got potential.
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MinnieKing
on 5/13/2017 3:46:00 PM with a score of 0
This was actually quite adorable. The writing wasn't bad by any means as it was quite serviceable with the setting that was provided for the reader. This storygame is exactly what the title says, maybe just a bit too much. There's not much happening in the story, but I suppose cats don't exactly live exciting lives, or at least lives that many would find interesting.
Still this was quite a cute story that I didn't mind reading through to the end. The imagery and descriptions certainly aided in making this a decent storygame. My only minor complaint is that I felt more could be done with this story to make this more interesting to read. Also, it's quite linear, despite it's nice writing.
All in all, this was pretty enjoyable to read. Despite some of the flaws that are present.
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TharaApples
on 12/11/2016 12:00:07 PM with a score of 0
This was very cute! I loved being a cat and just living life!
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BestGirlGamer
on 11/18/2024 4:31:51 PM with a score of 0
Awesome! Princess is a cute name and i imagine myself as a small, cute little tabby she-cat with tiny white paws and beautiful blue eyes.
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— Kit on 10/28/2024 1:58:19 PM with a score of 0
i HATE this GAME
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— Vayda on 10/7/2024 9:06:05 AM with a score of 0
HELP this was so cute! but very sad D: i got the bad ending tho maybe if i had choosen something else i would have gotten a happier end ^^
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— Feather on 8/31/2024 3:17:34 PM with a score of 0
Hey hey! I liked this but maybe add a bit more. It was a happy ending for me, but then I played it again and I got the bad ending! Well anyway, thank you for making this, and bye guys!!!
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— ThePoopyKitty on 8/26/2024 11:40:07 AM with a score of 0
Maybe add more plot and storyline
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— Moss on 8/25/2024 6:18:23 PM with a score of 0
I was expecting it to be like warrior cats on roblox you make your own character
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— ??????????????????????????/// on 8/17/2024 11:28:50 AM with a score of 0
A cute little game that has a certain charm to it. Certainly very adorable, but incredibly linear and rather unfulfilling.
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justarandomperson
on 8/6/2024 10:09:29 PM with a score of 0
Nice And all But the game needs to be longer
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— Piper on 8/3/2024 4:47:14 PM with a score of 0
BAD
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— PoopyHeehee on 7/16/2024 10:23:59 AM with a score of 0
THIS WAS SOOOO BORING BRO
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— ??hehe on 7/16/2024 10:22:10 AM with a score of 0
Omg this was soooooooo boring its just READING its NOT better than homework. I didt like it one bit.
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— Heidi on 7/16/2024 10:20:00 AM with a score of 0
I was a happy cat
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Phoenixthe1st
on 7/14/2024 10:39:48 AM with a score of 0
can you make it a game not just words and a longer story line pls
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— why on 7/3/2024 12:23:43 AM with a score of 0
it was very fun although think it would be better if you could choose to go with the little girl or not. other then that it was really fun and i enjoyed myself.
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— emily on 6/25/2024 6:21:09 PM with a score of 0
i love this soooooo much btw im a therian
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— poop on 6/19/2024 12:16:07 PM with a score of 0
Fun pass time, but I have a few suggestions. It could really benefit from more details and character development. Overall, I'll give it a 4/8.
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— Rydia on 6/17/2024 6:15:15 PM with a score of 0
It is very good and well coded, But I would like to see settings please. It's only a suggestion! Have a good day to whoever is reading this
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— Cecilia on 5/4/2024 5:21:41 PM with a score of 0
Boring
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— Therian709YT on 4/27/2024 12:09:11 PM with a score of 0
Great game 🎮
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— HelloCat on 4/26/2024 11:30:02 AM with a score of 0
It's kinda boring b/c it doesn't have that many choices
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— Buh on 4/16/2024 9:07:31 AM with a score of 0
I thought the writing was really well and the storyline was great! It ended a bit abruptly which made me a little mad but it’s a great game!❤️
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— Storm on 4/9/2024 9:20:28 PM with a score of 0
well it could be better. I wish there were more options. maybe more like a game.
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— Jack on 4/1/2024 6:56:25 PM with a score of 0
this was really fun! I will be playing again
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— Sage :3 on 3/22/2024 6:50:16 PM with a score of 0
Excellent game!
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— Anonymous on 3/11/2024 9:31:23 PM with a score of 0
not bad! not many events but not bad
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— luz on 3/7/2024 9:06:54 AM with a score of 0
I'm not sure if you're still seeing these, however, I loved this and the effort it took to make it. Though, I was, too, disappointed that it was not Warrior cats, I was not disappointed of what I found. I will share this with my friends so they can enjoy this sensational simulator.
Sorry for formal talk, I'm human too :P
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— Mia Angulo on 2/19/2024 12:29:27 AM with a score of 0
no just no
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— noone on 2/14/2024 8:02:26 PM with a score of 0
suuuuuper boring al you do is click buttons
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— sarah johnson on 1/26/2024 1:26:57 PM with a score of 0
Absolutely amazing! Except the part where i died 😅
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— Princess on 1/15/2024 2:05:00 PM with a score of 0
That was fast. Though it was pretty good. Brilliant, actually. I’ve been a cat lover for all my life but I never got the permission to have a pet cat. Not even a hamster or something like that. Also I, personally, disagree to the fact that people believe black cats are unlucky and I want to challenge anyone who believes that to a fight. Anyways....... well great story and now I have to go to bed. Bye. Don’t forget the challenge. Zzzzzzzzz.......
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— James Hudson on 12/29/2023 4:38:50 PM with a score of 0
Very short and boring
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— Ur mum on 12/4/2023 11:20:45 AM with a score of 0
I loved it! I just wish it was longer!
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— TheLittleLion(not my real name on 11/24/2023 12:27:46 AM with a score of 0
Felt repetitive, and there were few options to pick from. This made it hard to choose.
3/8
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— Dark Moon on 11/23/2023 3:35:34 PM with a score of 0
U did a great job making this!
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— Ace on 11/10/2023 6:02:54 PM with a score of 0
i like it. but i thought it would be an actuall GAME not a quiz
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— FrostFire on 10/23/2023 12:26:42 PM with a score of 0
Have you ever read Warrior Cats? It is a very fun series of books about housecats called kittypets who live in a world where there are things beyond the Twoleg (human) houses. There are four Clans living in the forest, and a kittypet named Rusty finds his forever home in the forest- the adventures continue throughout over forty different books. I personally have read almost eighteen books so far, and I am addicted. I think you would really enjoy it! Best wishes,
Unknown Gorl
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— unknown gorl on 10/19/2023 2:11:32 PM with a score of 0
it is not as fun as thought it would be
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— mya on 10/17/2023 8:45:17 AM with a score of 0
There are no choices that actually effect anything, there is no plot, and you can't even choose your own name or gender. Also is very unrealistic, with every character always being extaotic about everything, never getting sad, and don't even ms started on the scene on the hill with the girl and her boyfriend. One: who brings their cat to fuuuu... Fuuun timesss..? Two: the story never said anything before or even implied that the cat can talk. If that were an actual thing in the story, that would be okay, but for the cat to just randomly go, "EWWW GROSS" and then never speak again,.. why? Just why? Three: Who the heck just goes, "haha my cat thinks it's gross so now I can't have a love life hahah so funny"
And in the birthday party scene, the cat does lots of things that could have altered the story if it has gone differently but we don't even get a choice in the matter! What if I want to scratch her instead of giving her freeking two dollar necklace kits. Which is another unrealistic thing. It said that she had wanted that HER WHOLE LIFE. Imagine your entire life goal is to get a two dollar necklace kits. Plus she was in middle school at the time. Kids younger than that can earn their own money through lawn mowing and lemonade stands and crap. And she just waits her whole life for a couple pieces of yarn and some plastic needs.
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— Not_mean_just_blunt on 10/17/2023 4:04:24 AM with a score of 0
it was terrible
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— gyuwteykw on 10/14/2023 7:38:00 AM with a score of 0
Yay
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— Charlotte on 10/13/2023 4:04:38 AM with a score of 0
Most definitely interesting, I enjoyed it a lot! Very short though in my opinion, but still amazing! Hope you enjoyed making the game!
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— Zuzanna on 9/29/2023 5:23:18 PM with a score of 0
It need more work
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— Nia on 9/5/2023 10:04:43 AM with a score of 0
Can't the other ending be not a bad ending
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— Green wing on 8/23/2023 8:56:32 AM with a score of 0
OMG I FRIGGIN LOVE THIS GAME!!!
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— hehehaha on 7/31/2023 9:31:04 PM with a score of 0
Really wish for more Warriors content here. Nevertheless, amazing.
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—
PerforatedPenguin
on 7/24/2023 4:04:28 PM with a score of 0
The Role-play was great. Even if it wasn’t warriors.
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— Charli on 7/23/2023 4:49:22 PM with a score of 0
It was great.
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— Clara on 7/15/2023 9:29:37 AM with a score of 0
Firstly, cats are lactose intolerant.
Secondly, they ARE NOT DOGS! they wouldn't just roll over and let someone they barely know rub the most vulnerable part of them.
Thirdly, if a cat leaves you alone for one afternoon or loves its tree tower doesn't mean it will become isolated.
I think you need to do a bit more research on cat behavior. and I didn't see any character development and the little girl barely does anything with her kitten. No way would a cat put time and affection into someone who would let them become isolated.
I do have to admit it wasn't the worst cat game ever.
I do like
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— Thats me on 7/5/2023 4:38:31 AM with a score of 0
Good job! :D
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— KittyKat on 6/24/2023 2:44:12 PM with a score of 0
Love the ending where you disapoint the little girl and become addicted to the cat tower. 1000/10
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— Mila on 5/22/2023 2:00:04 PM with a score of 0
Closest thing to Warrior Cats this site will get.
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Suranna
on 5/2/2023 1:56:46 PM with a score of 0
Okkaayyy…. Keep working on games like this and I sure you will make something everyone can enjoy!
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— Not available right now on 4/5/2023 9:59:38 PM with a score of 0
SUPER FUN BUT I got bad ending how do I get other endings?!
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— Warrior cats fan on 3/22/2023 10:45:58 AM with a score of 0
This really depicts the mind of cat and its not a boring read. 5/8, I think you deerve higher than it is
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Abgeofriends
on 3/13/2023 12:48:48 PM with a score of 0
This is an ok game. It could be better by...
1) coming into the Warriors world.
2) there being more than one ending.
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— Sistergrace on 12/21/2022 6:23:02 PM with a score of 0
it was ok, I was indifferent.
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— Lizz on 12/12/2022 9:22:45 AM with a score of 0
Best game ever!!!
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— Ava on 8/8/2022 6:42:08 PM with a score of 0
I don't think waiting once for the owner to pet me automatically means I'm lonely...
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— None on 7/13/2022 3:21:09 AM with a score of 0
Keep making longer stories! It makes me entertained. Thanks again!
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— Lola on 6/3/2022 9:48:00 AM with a score of 0
Really great, but I wish it had more of a storyline. I want to be an author when I grow up and I feel like I write better stories than this. But still, great job! (Also could you add more endings?)
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— {Cinnamonstar} on 5/24/2022 4:02:06 PM with a score of 0
it's really good, just i kinda wish there was more to it.
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— warrior-cats-fan on 3/21/2022 10:56:21 PM with a score of 0
Yay
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— Moon on 12/1/2021 2:09:56 PM with a score of 0
I really liked it
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— Matteo on 11/3/2021 2:46:45 PM with a score of 0
I really enjoyed this as something to do when I'm bored even though I got the bad ending it was very enjoyable sooooooooooooooooooo..........yea
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— Strongy125 on 9/12/2021 1:56:39 PM with a score of 0
wait so in the happy ending the cat dies before they get married that's sad but this cured my boredom a bit
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— Thaila on 3/26/2021 6:42:15 AM with a score of 0
this was boring. I could have probably chose a choice but this game forced me to do this or that. I don't think this is fun at all
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— I won't tell you my name on 2/16/2021 1:56:31 PM with a score of 0
Nice
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Fireleaf
on 2/9/2021 11:43:14 AM with a score of 0
i think that erin hunters books are amazing i just want to read them all the time because they are so good i love you erin hunter!!!!
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— katence vedder on 2/6/2021 2:20:44 PM with a score of 0
I got the bad ending :( but i give a good a great rating 100/10
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— fatumo abdi abdulahi on 12/7/2020 10:39:25 AM with a score of 0
WOW! I loved that game! And I loved being that tiny cute cat!
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— Nicole Wynn! on 10/2/2020 8:51:49 PM with a score of 0
i loved this game. it's a lot of fun, and it's adorable. worth playing. had a lot of fun. :D
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— pawsy on 8/24/2020 8:35:33 PM with a score of 0
This is a great game... Live like a cat people... Live. Like. A. Cat.
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— Alana on 7/17/2020 4:02:05 AM with a score of 0
AMAZING
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— STORM on 5/21/2020 3:15:45 PM with a score of 0
it wasn't the best but i didn't exactly hate it
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— silverbreeze44 on 4/21/2020 12:36:53 PM with a score of 0
Not warriors
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— Grace on 4/12/2020 7:46:44 PM with a score of 0
It's sad and happy I really like this! It made me tear up a bit.
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— I dont feel comfortable on 3/20/2020 11:43:44 PM with a score of 0
cool but needs more story
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— stevie on 3/19/2020 9:00:59 PM with a score of 0
i liked the game but it seems like you can only choose one choice to contiune (sorry bad at spelling) and if you choose the other answer to keep playing other than that i LOVED the game
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— Sky_Panda57 on 3/3/2020 3:02:12 PM with a score of 0
I love it, its really sweet but it could maybe be a little bit longer, because its kinda sad how you die :(
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— Gacha Racoon on 2/28/2020 5:48:50 PM with a score of 0
This is the worst game ever I HATE it
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— Debra on 2/23/2020 6:26:44 PM with a score of 0
ITS GOOOOOD!
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— hiiiiiiii on 2/9/2020 4:03:19 PM with a score of 0
Yeet. :3
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— Yeet on 1/18/2020 8:14:12 PM with a score of 0
Needs a lot of improvement.
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— Icewing on 1/15/2020 1:24:20 PM with a score of 0
Good
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— Xer on 1/2/2020 11:27:21 PM with a score of 0
Ok, that was actually decent for a cat story. Like others said, at least it's not Warriors.
First, I'd like to start with the things I liked. It was cute and fun. While it was short, there's a decent story here and it takes place over several years. You managed somehow to fit some character development (surface, but present nonetheless), so props to you. The writing is also good. I didn't see many, if any, errors with it so you definitely have that going for you.
Now for the things I didn't like. The first thing was the choices. Except leading to a bad ending, there wasn't much of a choice on things. Of course, you could do several different things, but unless they led to a bad ending, they all led to the same place. There's only really one path to go down with one page branches occasionally sprouting from it. There's nothing wrong with a largely linear story, but it's advertised as your choices mattering. It's also, as many stories are, too short and too surface.
So overall, it was decent. You show potential as an author, just maybe in a different subject or with a more fleshed out story.
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Megumeme
on 1/2/2020 2:17:01 PM with a score of 0
This is more fun than homework but you need pictures and more cchoices!
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— im not saying it ok! on 11/15/2019 12:31:24 AM with a score of 0
this was ok but i think it should have more options
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— meh on 10/8/2019 4:33:26 PM with a score of 0
Naww~~ this was so adorable, I loved it!
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Moonyasnow
on 10/8/2019 4:16:25 PM with a score of 0
god is good !!!!!!!!
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— susan on 9/30/2019 11:58:44 AM with a score of 0
cute
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— stacy on 9/19/2019 3:51:10 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good. :3
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— Cup Noodles | Wit a Kit :3 on 9/15/2019 5:44:33 PM with a score of 0
crap good ending.
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psimon
on 9/5/2019 3:52:19 PM with a score of 0
I loved it! It was really fun, and I hope the Author makes another one! <3
~ Hollowstorm9872 ~
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— Hollowstorm9872 on 8/13/2019 2:26:28 PM with a score of 0
it was fun! bu i got the bad ending ;-;
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— bob757 on 8/13/2019 2:21:53 PM with a score of 0
well… I did like it but there's not really any choices. But it was definitely better than some I've played.
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— kitty on 7/30/2019 6:56:53 AM with a score of 0
Add more choices.....
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— Shshsjdbdb on 7/25/2019 10:35:58 PM with a score of 0
very sweet
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— no on 7/1/2019 9:00:37 PM with a score of 0
BOI (or girl) this game is cute and I luv cats
....
How u know?
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— Natalie the cat lover on 6/6/2019 8:17:02 PM with a score of 0
This game was great, although I wish there were more things to do in that life but overall it was a satisfying game to play.
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— Alyssa Delo on 6/2/2019 10:42:49 PM with a score of 0
BECAUSE it's NOT WARRIORS
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— Iso on 4/25/2019 2:54:40 AM with a score of 0
I love it but try to make it longer.
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— Macy on 4/24/2019 7:54:09 AM with a score of 0
I did think it was short but it was fun for a first game
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— Riley on 4/20/2019 8:27:41 AM with a score of 0
It was alright. Somewhat boring like you said but it’s your first game and I think it was a good first game.
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— Sapphire on 4/15/2019 11:50:24 PM with a score of 0
very sad
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— Suzuki on 3/29/2019 6:57:49 PM with a score of 0
i like how in the game all you have to do to get a good ending is...cuddle.
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— emma on 3/23/2019 6:52:14 AM with a score of 0
cute
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— the cat god on 3/19/2019 7:59:49 AM with a score of 0
well I for one think you should be able to be a villain if you choose and have your custom cat at the beginning but its a really cool game
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— Cristal Gallegos on 3/16/2019 2:29:55 AM with a score of 0
love your books and hope there will be a video game about warrior cats. Dragon out.
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— Dragonheart on 2/23/2019 3:23:55 PM with a score of 0
it was a good choose your own adventure story
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— dawn on 2/4/2019 2:53:10 PM with a score of 0
this was okay there should be a warrior cats one
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— lexi on 12/10/2018 2:49:46 PM with a score of 0
Um why does the game always end quickly when i choose my choice and the game say ba ending this game sucks i was trying to be me but this game forces me to choose soemthing I don’t want to do but the game is too short... shorter than life
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— Oof on 11/11/2018 2:45:02 PM with a score of 0
Heartwarming!
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— Britta on 8/7/2018 6:48:39 PM with a score of 0
amazing!! the best game I've played!!!! I would give 100000000000000 stars if I could! I will share this game text adventure (and play it again lol) I hope u the best of luck for no reson lol
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— Crystalshine on 7/23/2018 6:46:14 PM with a score of 0
Do you play cat roleplay on this game?
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— Tairyn Lowenberg on 5/29/2018 3:49:55 PM with a score of 0
Heyyyyyyyyyyy why couldnt i kill the owners XD XD XD make somthing where ya can eat ppl and are a cat!
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— BOOM BADA BOOM on 5/28/2018 10:39:11 AM with a score of 0
THIS IS HOORIBLE! I DONT WANTTO PLAY WITH SOME LITTLE GIRL AND BE A HOUSECAT!
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— P on 5/26/2018 10:48:02 AM with a score of 0
I love this, even tho its short i still love it!
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— berryfox on 5/24/2018 10:33:40 PM with a score of 0
The biggest issue this story has is that nothing really happens. You're a cat. You eat food, play with things and allow humans to pet you. Yes, that's what a cat's life is like and they seem happy about it, but it's boring to read about it. It's got the same issue that all those stories where you get ready for school have: you do (or in this case, see cats do) that every single day. You don't need to make it super special; one of the other stories about cats on here is about a kitten that has to stop a family from fighting on Christmas. Just make the plot anything more interesting than just simple existence, add some action.
The story is short and linear. The choices either don't matter or are things that really shouldn't matter but somehow do. Not bothering to play with the girl that one single time will suddenly make the rest of your life bad. Come on, do you know how often my cats play with me just because I want them to? Almost never. Cats do whatever they want, whenever they want, humans be damned.
This story wasn't all that interesting to read, but it's not a bad start. You've got the basics of English down, so I'm sure you can do better. You'll get older, you'll read some good books, write some more stories, and before you know it, you'll be an excellent writer!
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Mayana
on 4/30/2018 4:13:02 AM with a score of 0
this story was amazing and hear touching
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Magmatic
on 3/15/2018 6:01:30 PM with a score of 0
... nice, but needed more. liked it quite a bit though
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— kvill600 on 9/25/2017 8:24:43 PM with a score of 0
THATS A SAD ENDING
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— leafpool on 8/20/2017 6:47:27 AM with a score of 0
This was a cute storygame, although there were many issues. There were grammar problems, and there weren't many choices that affect the story. I don't mind that it isn't an elaborate, complex story, because I see it's just supposed to be a short, cute story.
Good job! Next time, try to brush up on your grammar and add more details.
(Don't listen to Jayfeatherlova, obviously she/he is a warrior cat lover, so he/she probably isn't used to a story about non-warrior cats [aka "kittypets"])
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Hello243
on 7/25/2017 12:46:08 AM with a score of 0
Wished there was more branching that didn't immediately lead to end game.
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crazygurl
on 6/27/2017 5:28:26 PM with a score of 0
love
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gracelynn
on 2/28/2017 2:04:53 PM with a score of 0
this game gives you exactly what the title promises. there's not really that much more to it, but i don't see the issue- it's just a cute, short game. nothing wrong with that.
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jamBuster
on 2/27/2017 8:28:38 PM with a score of 0
This is one of the better cat games I've played. I actually quite enjoyed your writing, but as you said yourself, it's quite boring.
Literally, the story is a description of the cat's life, and while the cat can make choices that actually affect things (at some points), it's really nothing outside the box of... well, a cat's life. There's not really any antagonist, and therefore no conflict, either.
Your writing skills are great, but like Will said, start a new line for dialogue. Otherwise, make this an actual story with conflicts.
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Crescentstar
on 12/11/2016 11:29:02 AM with a score of 0
sad and cool if you survive
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— june on 10/9/2016 3:55:34 PM with a score of 0
I love the cat story.
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FerrariEvoluzione645
on 8/25/2016 7:04:44 PM with a score of 0
That is dumb. Did you know, a cat playing on a cat tower isn't the end of the world? It was cute but I mean come on, you can't constantly play! a cat's life is about more than just play, cuddle, play, cuddle. The moral of the review is, 'it's not against the law to do something other than play with your owner. 2/8
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Jayfeatherlova
on 7/2/2016 7:29:46 PM with a score of 0
This cat seems more like a dog if you take the intended path.
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bilbo
on 4/8/2016 10:26:52 AM with a score of 0
Awesome. The kitten must be really cute.
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Spirit
on 3/30/2016 1:58:31 PM with a score of 0
There 's like...four endings.
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— Roseflower on 10/13/2015 10:45:46 PM with a score of 0
YOU ARE MY ONLY FRIEND, CAT TOWER!!
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Wolfshadow
on 9/27/2015 6:42:34 PM with a score of 0
Okay
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AthenaT
on 6/9/2015 1:11:34 PM with a score of 0
It was alright, I guess. Pretty short and boring, but good for a first story.
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Winterfrost105
on 5/15/2015 7:13:59 PM with a score of 0
Amazin
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goldenstar
on 5/15/2015 6:44:04 PM with a score of 0
Meh.
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Chris113022
on 5/14/2015 3:42:10 PM with a score of 0
For a first effort, it's decent. Good job. ^_^
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Raven47
on 5/9/2015 9:34:50 AM with a score of 0
This was a good first story. Good job
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_Zomby_
on 5/8/2015 10:34:50 AM with a score of 0
it's ok,
HERE IS YOUR RANDOM RATING!!!! 7/8
My bro: it smells like a taco!
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jaystarthecat
on 5/5/2015 2:16:42 PM with a score of 0
This was alright. I liked the concept and over-all story. Not bad, not bad at all. It was a good and decent first story.
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Penworth
on 5/4/2015 1:56:32 AM with a score of 0
Whenever I read these things I always wind up thinking "wow, cats have pretty boring lives", I would much rather read about the life of a duck-billed platypus in it's struggle to stop illegal underwater oil drilling by uniting an alliance of sharks and killer whales to attack the oil rigs using a combination of kamikaze attacks and self-created tsunamis... you have to take what's there I suppose :)
Your writing style is very good and you spend the right amount of time on descriptions but you need to put character dialogue on a new line and assign names to the supporting cast. A plot helps too (something as simple as a cat having a mouse as an antagonist can be used as a plot) but it's much better than most other first efforts on here, hopefully you will write more :)
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Will11
on 5/3/2015 8:34:34 PM with a score of 0
Pretty decent for a first story.
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At_Your_Throat
on 5/3/2015 4:17:49 PM with a score of 0
You did a great job at the descriptions of the characters and surroundings. Though, at times, it seemed a little rushed, work on making the story flow more. For a first story, I find it hard to believe. This obviously had a good amount of effort put into to and there weren't any grammatical mistakes (that I saw). Awesome job!
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Nicolerhi
on 5/3/2015 2:03:10 PM with a score of 0
It was decent for a first story.
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jamescoker1226
on 5/3/2015 1:51:40 PM with a score of 0
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