a Grimdark Fantasy by Steve24833

Commended by JJJ-thebanisher on 2/9/2017 8:46:44 PM

Player Rating6.41/8

"#52 overall, #3 for 2017"
based on 243 ratings since 04/19/2019
played 2,379 times (finished 76)

Story Difficulty4/8

"march in the swamp"

Play Length7/8

"It keeps going and going"

Maturity Level7/8

"anything goes"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 18. If this were a movie, it would probably be R.

There is a prophecy that one day, the barrier between reality and that which lies beyond will weaken. That day the great Mol'Chu will come forth, for it has its infinite eyes set upon this realm. It will drive all creatures to the realms of insanity and torment. However, the prophecy also tells of a great hero who will rise up, and the fate of the world will lie in his hands.

You are not that hero. You are a Ratling, your blood as weak as can be, your lineage one of thieves and cowards. Still, with your path there's a chance for betterment. You might be able to lift yourself up and find yourself some power in this world. Power you will wield. 

Thanks to WouldntItBeNice for beta-reading this, he was a great help. This is my longest storygame so far and I've decided to delve into some fantasy again. Anyhow, I hope you all enjoy!

Player Comments

I thought that this was an all around interesting fantasy story.

The main character is fun to play as, and it was humorous to see the "chosen one" fantasy story from the point of view of the sidekick. A lot of the sort of thing that would have my family talking to the TV and telling characters what to do or stop doing got pointed out, particularly with regards to Flynn and Anna. (I think those were their names. Not the best with names.)

The romance choices had their own distinct personalities and were good as CHARACTERS, which is sadly uncommon. I lied the way Mira only stayed with Ritz if he magic brainwashed her to. Since there was no sign that she had been wanting to settle down any time before.
I did not see the mass genocide project coming. So that was a fun surprise. It was a bit startling for Ritz to join Flynn (that is his name, right?) with very little at all by the way of convincing though. Perhaps if there was a little more beforehand that showed them to have a very, very close relationship it would not have been, but as it was, it was weird for Ritz to join him with no explanation. Then again, that was the first option I chose, and I did it without hesitation. So maybe genocide is so much fun it doesn't need any other argument.

I found all the endings and played through from the beginning twice to make sure I read almost all of the pages before reviewing, and I greatly preferred my first playthrough. The way the branching is set up means that a lot will be the same on the second playthrough. If you do not feel the need to read as many branches as possible, that should not be a problem, but for me things got a little tedious the second playthrough. (and by a little, I mean I got really bored and had to take a break for two weeks before I could come back to it)

I smiled whenever I read the name Scampers. It's generic, yet adorable.
Now, there is a part in the centaur camp which is very annoying. If you escape alone and choose to kill the centaur guarding Dikiz, when you are recaptured by the centaurs, your options are either an instadeath or Do Nothing. Do Nothing links back to killing the centaur guarding Dikiz, and so forth. This is quite annoying and alone would have probably led to me dropping the rating on a story that was shorter.

I enjoyed the ogre branch as well. It was fun.

This was some pretty fine entertainment that I would recommend, especially to those readers who like to save parts of a story for future play-throughs.

To finish this off, I will include a quote that made me laugh out loud both times I read it.
"You're not sure what the fuck you expected to find with a Satyr playing the panflute, but this is disappointing. Time to slowly back away"

-- Cricket on 5/9/2019 9:26:53 PM with a score of 0
In short, this was a great journey. Prophecy had well crafted locations, lore, and interesting events to keep your attention and the digital pages turning. There's also a substantial amount of content, and it kept my attention for the whole 3.5 hours it took to go through every route I could find (~12 epilogues). Prophecy has a good number of things going in its favor, and a few that are not.

(minor spoilers)

//Things that work well

The substantial and varied locales you visit in order to get the plot coupons are fun to picture in your head
The intricate descriptions of a number of settings, the opening is particularly well detailed
The backstories and lore are intriguing, though not as prominent as they could have been
A couple of the characters (Mira and Dikiz) were well written and had their own depth, which were expanded upon in their routes
The ogre side story towards the end
//Things I have mixed feelings about

The romances changed a fair bit of the flavor text throughout the latter half of the journey, and they were wittily written. However, one or two of the endings (if you had a romantic partner) came across as a bit jarring
The larger story arc driving the adventurers was interesting in its resolution, but perhaps could have had a bit more foreshadowing. The ideas the arc touched on were interesting though.
The endings were varied, however I felt that a bit more meat to them would have been appreciated (they often felt more brief than they needed be)

//Things that didn't work

It was entirely possible to miss story critical information in situations where you only had time to talk to one party member, leading to confusion as to where a certain choice was hinted at.
The linearity - outside of three decision choices, and one boxers vs briefs clothing choice there were very few things that you could do that didn't kill you AND affected the story in a meaningful way down the line.
Decision making - there were a number of occasions where you would have two or three choices, and honestly not much information to help you choose the right decision (the others would usually leave you dead). More information would be appreciated
The token minorities - you go around picking up followers like a stamp collector, and always one at a time. That cliche slightly taxed my willing suspension of disbelief
Consequentiality from certain actions felt lacking
Typos - There were many, however I look forward to them being patched out
The voice - this one I take particular issue with. The author often would have his characters engage in tirades or mouth off at something, but the wording used was distinctly modern, and highly unlikely to have been appropriate in the setting it was displayed in. This was a pretty strong immersion breaker, and would benefit from being written with more fantasy contextual insults
(/minor spoilers)

While it may look like there were more negatives than positives, that would not be a correct assessment. The author is a seasoned writer and knows how to build an epic story that keeps you engaged. Prophecy is a great work, perhaps not the greatest, but I'd gladly recommend it as a great experience.
-- StrykerL on 2/10/2017 12:00:38 AM with a score of 0
I’ll try to avoid spoilers here.

Well, this is a great storygame even though some guest put four 1’s into the ratings to screw with it. Anyway, this’s impressive. The story is long and took me several hours to read through. I actually never became bored with the story. Even though the storygame is very linear, there main storyline is very entertaining (and there’re many ways to die). Now, there is some branching in the plot but it does not occur immediately in the story.

I also liked your characters including your protagonist Ritz. He honestly could be a huge arse, but you gave enough options to make him a relatively decent person (or an arse) if the reader so chooses. He's probably my favorite protagonist of yours yet since he isn't necessary an unlikable bastard and he feels like a fleshed-out character with his own “personal arc”.

Redmond seemed nice, almost too nice; however, he's a paladin which sort of comes with the job. I still don't know exactly why he let Ritz come along with him. (I know he had his sword while Ritz had the necklace, yet it still seemed rather odd.) Mira was fine. She seemed to partially be in there to throw your insults. :)

Orut was the strong guy. Tilia was the hippie. Each was interesting. I only wish they were introduced into the plot sooner. Anna seemed sort of thrown into the plot only to serve a specific plot-wise purpose. She was the only character that I didn’t care much for, but she didn’t do much anyway.

Dikiz was actually my favorite character of the book. She was very childish but apparently spent a great deal of free time reading. Also, their lifespan was quite interesting for the species. Though, it did make sense from a biological perspective. She also took part in my favorite scene from the story. It was when she rolled the ball to Ritz and he rolled it back when they first met. Their conversation was rather simple and sweet (even though it was about topics that were certainly not). She seemed so innocent in a world of very non-innocent people.

I do have a few nitpicks however. There were many plot-wise parts of this storygame that I found to be somewhat similar to your previous ones. For example, Redmond reminded me of the necromancer from Path of Death while Ritz seemed like the orc. The dialogue style was sometimes reminiscent to other stories of yours; however, that isn't necessary a bad thing (since I like your dialogue style). I also feel like some of the long names (such as the mountain and the god's name) were encoded, but I couldn't figure that out. Maybe, you just felt like creating long, odd names.

Enough with the nitpicking now… Acquiring the materials needed to unlock the door could've been monotonous, but it was exciting through certain surprises that I didn’t expect. It was a pretty interesting portrayal of the classic "heroes walk around to gather stuff" trope.

Well, except for the linearity and occasional grammar error, it seemed without fault to me. Prophesy is yet another oddly amazing work by Steve.
-- WouldntItBeNice on 2/9/2017 4:01:06 PM with a score of 0
Good story, but too many swears.
-- Me on 11/19/2020 1:22:13 PM with a score of 0
good story
-- choicemaker500 on 9/12/2020 7:28:46 PM with a score of 0
There are typos in the story but I could still follow it, so no harm there. This is right up there with some of my favorite stories on the site. Certainly one of the most original. I would love to see something similar with taking the role of a side character.
-- Yandeleon on 6/23/2020 11:56:26 PM with a score of 0
I enjoyed it.
-- Tervon on 11/25/2019 5:31:35 PM with a score of 0
Very good story, 7/8, just a little to much swearing for me.
-- 12 year old on 10/12/2019 10:48:14 PM with a score of 0
I really liked it! Though, I never had a chance to get to the end of it because I got caught in a loop when I tried to not stab a centaur who was taking me back to the cage after Mira and I freed Dikiz. If I do nothing, the loop starts and if I grab the spear, I die.
-- Moonyasnow on 8/4/2019 10:19:13 AM with a score of 0
I don't even have the words. This was something else. Thank you who ever made this, my life is a little more complete.
-- etrow5 on 6/26/2019 10:54:01 PM with a score of 0
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