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For those who like history, what are your favorite eras, and do you have any interesting tidbits?

I typically like to study anywhere from WW2 & the Cold War era.

Pearl Harbor was attacked twice. The first time, we ended up with friendly fire. The USS Enterprise was Returning & she sent a couple of planes in ahead. They ended up being shot down by some Anti-Aircraft fire. The second attack was in heavy cloud cover, and it only killed a couple fish & some grass.

Aha, a thread custom-made for me :D Personally I like reading about warfare from 1600-1900 when people started using guns until about the outbreak of world war 2. I'm at work so I can't think of a lot of funny tidbits but off the top of my head Civil War stuff:
General U.S. Grant was inundated with cigars for his battlefield victories, developed a serious smoking habit and became the only president to die of throat cancer.
General Ambrose Burnside gave his name to side-burns, named after his fantastic beard style.
There is a rumor that General Joe Hooker popularized the term hookers to describe a certain kind of lady with more financial acumen than virtue after his HQ was described as a "walking brothel".
French Revolutionary War
General Nicolas Oudinot was wounded 37 times in battle on about 15 different occasions.
By contrast British General Arthur Wellesley was in about 50-60 battles and skirmishes and was never wounded once.
The Grand Old Duke of York nursery rhyme (he had 10,000 men, he marched them up to the top of the hill and he marched them down again) was made up to make fun of King George III's second son who was a pretty poor General.
English Civil War stuff
A Parliamentarian poet-turned-solder called John Dryden was captured by Royalist forces. A poet on the Royalist side persuaded King Charles not to execute him "so as long as Dryden lives I won't be called the worst poet in England".
King Charles's personal physician was so under-employed and bored he spent the Battle of Edgehill sitting under a tree reading a book on the battlefield. Allegedly when he grew cold in the evening he pulled a corpse across his legs to keep him warned.
On a similar note during the English War of Roses King Henry VI, who was a little mad, who had a habit of being captured on battlefields, was captured after the Second Battle of St Albans when he was found sitting under a tree singing to himself.

I used to have tons more of this kinda stuff but I gotta get on with work now :D

How the heck does a war go on as long as that one did when a king has a habit of being captured on battlefields?

Well the other side would keep capturing him back :D It happened about four times like a crazy game of capture the flag :D

That stuff's all super, super interesting. Thank you, Will.

Currently I’m studying the War of the Roses for a historical fiction novel I’m planning to write. It’s rather interesting. 

The times the Vikings were literally raping the England Coastline.

When Japan was going full ISIS execution on any Christian priests.

When Constantinople got literally fucked when their walls meant nothing against cannons.

WW2 on the Eastern front.

Roman empire collapsing due to simple England Barbaric Tribes.

Ethopia bamboozling invading colonists and going full political espionge.

Dictatorship vs Religion during Mexican Revolution again with the ISIS executions.

The fall of YugoSlovia and all the participating countries denying their own involvement is War Crimes and attempted Genocides.

 

Stuff I wish would have happened in History.

The Public Lynching of French Jacobins and having everyone of those cockroaches decapitated. 

More Successful slave uprisings and the creation of a Sovereign State.

Indians and Mexicans teaming up in Texas to fight back against the seceders. 'The irony in Mexico getting buttfucked for letting in to many American Immigrants and having the situation switched today.'

History is actually really interesting and cool. Wish it was a cooler subject people were into.

England tribes felling Rome? ISIS execution being used twice as if that's something people say? The Mexican Revolution being "DIctatorship vs Religion"? And fuck me, adding an extra section of stuff you wished happened in history and saying slave uprisings and the creation of a sovereign state? 

Somehow, you have went from a barely recognized site member to someone I well and truly loath in one post. 

Western Rome fell to Barbaric Western tribes.

Beheadings of Christian Priests and followers in that period of Japan is somewhat like ISIS executions so yes I use that analogy.

Of course the Mexican Revolution is a lot more complicated then that but the thats the bare bones of it without going any deeper then I wanted to.

Who the hell doesn't want African slaves to rise up from their oppressors in the South and try their hand at making their own sovereign state, would make for really good interesting history.

I'm sorry, "Western"? Sorry, it's almost like you firstly incredibly oversimplified the fall of Rome to such an incredible degree you  shit on the concept of history, and also said it was the English. Hang on, you stupid cunt, you did.

Fuck me, so now, beheadings for religion is now "ISIS EXECUTIONS"

No, no it's not. It's fucking drivel, barely connecting strands off metaphorical muscle tissue rather than being the bare bones of the conflict.

I mean, just historically, it's fucking nonsense that you say "slave uprisings creating a sovereign state", as if there was slavery only in one time and one place, two, the idea that you'd bother bringing up something that would be "good interesting history" is absolute nonsense that one one asked for, it's like me bringing up "Wouldn't it be cool if the Jews hadn't been holocausted, but had a massive concentration camp escape, all of them at once?", three, it doesn't even make sense, they had Africa, what, were the slaves going to drive their oppressors out of their own countries and live there, it's such pure shit, and four, even saying it is pathetic, because it's like me pointing out it'd be cool if the Jews weren't holocausted. Yeah, literally everyone moral has that viewpoint, saying it just makes you a cunt.

Well I had hoped that when I brought up the English you would have assumed I was referring to Western Rome as anyone with basic knowledge of that history would. Some English Tribes took part in the attacks on Rome so yes they had a part in its collapse, if you think I was implying that Pictish and Celtic butt fuck tribes totally raped Eastern and Western Rome then ok I was wrong.

If someone would be crucified today, what analogy could come to mind? The Crucifixion of Jesus by the Romans, does that mean the Romans didn't execute others with other various means? No. I just used a modern well known example of widely practiced beheadings so one would know.

Alrighty if you want a more "bare bones" explanation then look at my response to Mizal.

Well of course that would all be cool, Im not saying any of it would be practical, but had more slaves been inspired by Nat Turner or other more prominent uprisings, then there would have been a slight chance of a unifying force which of course didn't happen. "Absoulete Nonsense that no one asked for." Well Jengo Unchained is a mild, mild example without all that soverign state issue. Well technically for the later generation slaves, the U.S was their country, they had no recollection of Africa so of course it would be reasonable to want to make a Sovereign state in the South where they could truly be free in their own home, as if you're implying all slaves were foreigners and thought Africa is what they wanted.

You're wrong on so, so many levels, though. They weren't English barbarian tribes who did it, is was a wide variety of tribes spread out across Europe, and no, not a lot of fucking English taking part. You don't say things that are factually wrong and then tell people who call you out on it you assumed they'd correct it in their head. Even then, they didn't butt-fuck Western Rome, Western Rome fell for a huge amount of reasons, which yeah, the Barbarians were a part of. But you've simplified to such a degree that it's like a down syndrome with brain damage trying to explain history.

Jesus Christ is by far the most famous example of crucifixtion. The most famous example of religious beheadings isnt' ISIS, yyou dopey fucking cunt. And your explanation of the Mexican revolution is still incredibly wrong. All I learn is that you still clearly don't understand the conflict, but that one of your favorite things in history is something you know nothing about and just vaguely recall from a book.

Nat Turner was a maniac who heard voices and butchered children, so I'm fairly glad not more of him. There was no chance of slaves taking over and making their own country in the US, because yeah, the more advanced nation isn't going to let its innards be eaten out by its escaping workforce as they take a big chunk of their country.

Django Unchained, not Jengo, didn't really happen, and yeah, no one asked for it to be mentioned in this thread, so I've no idea why you're bringing it up. Then, you're going with "as if you're implying all slaves were foreigners", when you referred to slaves and expected us to assume you meant the slaves in the tiny period of time where Americans had them, rather than the rest of the long history of slaving from now to back when they first realized slavery could happen.

Oh hang on, now that I'm finished writing this, I've realized, given that in regard to me saying no one asked for this you replied with bringing up "Jengo Unchained", you're trolling. So I suppose, fuck you, you're still shit, and faking being a retard is only slightly better than being a retard.

Taking your word for the fall of the Western Roman Empire details since you're more local and familiar with that history than I would be in my location.

Not saying most famous religious beheading group but the current modern one at the moment that's widely known.

Oh yeah Nat Turner was a fucking Psychopath that killed more women and children than actual slave owners but only gave his example since he was the most successful uprising that I could think of during that time period.

Yes I'm aware that Muslims were in the slave trade much longer than when Africans were being shipped to the Americas and West Indies but as a American that's what most people come to think of and I forgot that you were from Europe.

Thank you for thinking of me higher than a retard, I love and appreciate you steve :).

You're still arguing, so at this point, perhaps you are just a retard. It seems in summary that for someone wh posted about your favorite history things in a thread about history, you know literally jack shit about history, and just kind of vaguely remember moments from books or little factoids you've been taught about. Thus, I once again spit on you, and continue on with my day.

Weirdly I never really got around to reading up that much on the Mexican Revolution and it wasn't something we really covered in much detail in school. Were they out to wipe out religion as a whole or the Catholic Church only? The Power and the Glory is on my reading list still, I'll get around to it eventually...

My history is really vague on that subject to be honest, I just remember watching Greater Glory and searching up the deeper meanings of it all while also taking about it at a church  class I was attending that was heavily Hispanic.

My vague recollection at the time is that it was a liberal vs conservative type battle where the liberals where anti clergy and the conservatives where the revolutionaries and there was massive hangings by telegram poles in which it's heavily recognized, with some involvement by the U.S at one point? Don't quote me on that since I honestly forgot a lot of that church class.

Well, there were those former slaves who owned slaves themselves. They voluntarily created their own companies and joined the Confederacy to fight against The Union. Mostly in Louisiana, but it may have happened in other states, too.

Steve already pointed out the Roman empire and other stupid shit, so all i have to say is ...
You spelled Yugoslavia wrong. I don't like you. :(

I don't know if I really have a favorite part. I mean, WW2 and that seems to be everyone's favorite. I always had a fascination in the Japanese war crimes like Unit 731 and the Rape of Nanking, as that's not really brought up a great deal here in the Western world. Beyond that, it seems to shift rapidly as my interests change.

Oh, and interesting fact: when the concentration camps were liberated, gay prisoners were treated terribly by the governments, as they were still criminals under Allied laws and new German laws.

While this is still a thing no one actually talks about much, I'd like to point out how fascinating I found the early history of Christianity. It seems to be something that's accurately covered almost nowhere in modern culture, even though it's actually fascinating. I did a load on it in religious classes, which were the best. I always liked religion classes, because they give you a fascinating look into the various religions and their belief structures and histories, and also you get to do a load of philosophy and have some cool debates about morality. 

Anyhow, a few interesting facts about Jesus. Although there's debates about whether he existed, the main scholarly consensus is that he did, but what's I've always found incredibly frustrating is when he lived. Jesus was most likely born in 2 or 3 BC. To those who aren't very aware, BC stands for "Before Christ", as our year system is based off 0 being the birth of Christ. However, the early historian who made the system made an obvious mistake in placing the reign of King Herod, so basically, the Year 0 in our calender is an unimportant year, which is such a bummer.

Anyhow, Jesus' appearance is also debated, but given his time period and cultural background, he was a Semitic, swarthy, dark-skinned man. He probably wouldn't have had the long hair he's depicted with. He was probably quite ugly, ugly enough to be of note at the time, which I find fascinating. I mean, he definitely would've been compared to people today, but apparently he was even by their standards. He was also pretty short back then, and today at around four feet six inches, he'd be absolutely tiny. There's a fair chance he would've had been hunched or somewhat deformed, which again is very interesting.

It's then all blurry from there on for little ol' Jesus. Apparently, from birth on he didn't do much, just lived a normal life of no importance. Apparently though, when he would've been baptized by John the Baptist, going through a spiritual awakening and starting his religious thing, spending like two years traveling among the rural areas preaching his word to almost exclusively Jews, before being executed for what would've been akin to treason in preaching the creation of a new "kingdom", which in order to somewhat non-violently put down a potential uprising given that they were already fairly hated by the Jews given the high numbers of Jewish Zealots who wanted a military uprising against Romans. Anyhow, fun facts.

The actual time period back then was fucking mental. The infamous King Herod seemed to be somewhat nicer than his image, being a huge builder of infrastructure, attempting to make it known he cared for his people regardless of religion, and being a relatively good Jew. Of course, this is ancient royalty, so he butchered and murdered a fair deal, didn't give a shit about the poor and did endless awful stuff. The Jews were fucking mental at the time, being split up between Zealots, militaristic dudes who wanted a war with Rome to repel them from what was thought to be God-given lands and expected a King David-type Messiah to lead them to building a Jewish Empire, Essenes, who just wanted to isolate themselves as they waited for their mystical savior to deal with this shit, the Pharisees who wanted to ensure the temples and Jewish culture and religion survived, and the Sadducees, Jews who just did whatever the Romans want for perks and that. 

Anyhow, just a few fascinating things about early Christian history. If you're Christian, Jewish, or even just vaguely interested in religion or history, I'd really recommend looking into the time period, as it's usually forgotten, in exchange for a demeaning "Kid's version" that kind of stereotypes the entire period in such a way that takes out the interesting parts to make it appealing ot idiots.

Personally, I like all kinds of history, but out of the time periods I choose to use or borrow from, I primarily try and choose historical settings based on what kind of action they would have first, because interesting cultures and character ideas are much more easy to adapt to different  technology levels with minor tweaks.

The Cold War, "Advanced War", and any science fiction thereof, is boring as fuck from a sheer action standpoint. Nuclear Warfare is boring. It's a bunch of dudes in offices making all those hard ethical decisions and struggling to get their boats in the right places when nobody else is looking. Espionage and proxy wars? Those are fucking grand, but they're pretty much in the style of the wars that preceeded them, only with less points because, realistically, there's either very little combat, or what combat there is is idly shooting into cover and fortified positions to make sure that the other guys can't move into a place where they can kill you. You don't get to fight someone, you get to kill a fuzzy gray thing yards and yards away before it shoots you back. Nuclear war feels equally dumb. Everyone dies very, very far away from the person who killed them, and if you're doing it right you barely even get to see things exploding. Modern Warfare to its fullest extent is incredibly boring to write about from an action standpoint, and with the advent of Drones, it's only about to get more boring. I'd rate it about 3.5 points on the Entertaining Human Murder Scale, (EHMS) slowly falling as humans become less and less significant as a species even in combat, but this grows a lot more if it's a Spy/Vietnam story and Nuclear or true modern war is more of a background threat.

Bronze Age Warfare is next up, even though it's leagues more interesting than . It's more fun than nuclear warfare because people are killing each other, and it's mostly in Melee, which means that there's plenty of Good Old-Fashioned Asskicking (tm) but I never got too far into it because it never felt like there was that much diversity happening. Sure, there's cool forts and siege engines and stuff, but all in all it's mostly hoplites, people who feel like hoplites, and armed militias, all or most of them wielding malleable weapons that can get all messed up in a single fight with a similarly armed person, which feels too much like a very limiting and disappointing cap on someone's murder potential. If you're lucky, I guess there might be chariots, and chariots are pretty awesome. War mostly feels the same from the potential gameplay on any side outside of the cultures/minor technique swaps attached to it, until you start moving into the Roman/early Iron Age era and new things start getting introduced. All the same, sheerly from a standpoint of what you can do, it feels like a nerfed/simplified version of the Medieval Ages. By default, I'd say it's about 6.5 on the EHMS, but with fantasy elements or clever writing, it can grow exponentially. See: Conan, 300, etc. Bonus points for any and all elephant cavalry.

"Exotic" or Tribal warfare is a little more fun, but not too much, though that could be because I don't know that much about it. I mostly enjoy that, especially in Africa and Meso-America, every tribe tends to have their own flavor and way of doing things based on their resources and landscape, because they're separated a lot more by lattitude than longitude. You get to see a lot of whackass weapons, like the Macuahuitl or the hook sword or the throwing knives with dicks on them... Solid 7, though it gets more interesting when you incorporate aspects of older Tribal warfare with newer technology, like certain elements of  the weapons/armor mishmash in the Assassins Creed games, Fallout Series, Kenshi, and the Prince of Persia games... And movie... 7 EHMS points Bonus points for any and all elephant cavalry.

Pre-World War Japanese Warfare on its own gets its own special space in here because of course some weeaboo's going to bring it up. I like Post-Industrial Japan because I find Japanese Mafiosos chopping and shooting each other up wearing Mr. T haircuts and basketball shorts to be incredibly interesting, and I like pre-industrial because samurai and ninja chopping and shooting each other up in all their little distinctive clans. But, all in all, I never really dug far enough into it to really become a fan, and if Total War is any indication, I'd give it an "Eh," and  score it sorta high on account of all the Martial Arts Culture, armor, and Good Old-Fashioned Asskicking(tm) going on. It's a 7.9 EHMS at base, but can edge out a lot of the other war styles the more fantastical it gets, and the more stuff you incorporate from other places in Asia.

The World Wars are the most fun modern wars, but I'm afraid World War 2 loses out on account of being very modern. That's not to say that the modernity isn't fun, all this modern technology was just being standardised, so everything from every faction is its own particular flavor of clunky and badass-looking in a 1980s 'DOOM' kinda way while still being vaguely recognizable as modern firearms... Which is understandable because we use a lot of the same weapons today. There's commandos and spies and rangers and gurkhas, the whole works of famously badass troops in a time when they were still super important. You have easy villains with the Axis, or even a few other political factions. You can approach the World Wars on any level. It's interesting from the top level, politics are all so colorful and extreme and idealistic that even reading from the point of view of a machiavellian political guy or a tinpot dictator getting swept up in the Facism could be interesting. It's interesting from the tactical level, you have everything from Island-hopping Jungle Warfare to wide open plane-bombing mortar-whackamole to Manchurian Cowboy Bandits, and just about every kinda person from anywhere is getting involved in it. And it's also fairly recent, with lots of pop culture carrying over to this very day- From a sheer people level, it's pretty relatable. Sure, most of the action was very long-distance, modern, and "boring", but when those fuzzy gray blobs are Nazis and the guys on your radio casually remarking about where to move are Stereotypical Brits or angry Communists, it rarely overstays its welcome. Plus, there's still trench warfare sometimes, and boy howdy do I love the idea of trench warfare. 8 EHMS points.

Early Medieval/Dark Age Mediterranean/European/Middle Eastern Warfare beats out all these. Simply because there's just this very interesting blend of stuff from both the Middle Ages and the Roman Times. There's barbarians of every kind and color (and Vikings) and everyone's from all these different families and clans (and Vikings) all with diverse cultures to explore. You have all the important parts of the Roman Empire age, colorful barbarians, badass armies, culture and art, only it's so much less homogenized, and everyone embraces their barbarian roots a little more. This is combined with all the important parts of the Medieval ages, Cavalry, advanced siege equipment, better castles, Steel Equipment... Not even mentioning the Crusades, which have always been quite amusing clusterfucks of wars, and any war in similar fashion is an entertaining one. (And Vikings.) 8.5 EHMS points. Bonus for any and all elephant cavalry.

Frankly, World War I is my favorite World War, and even though there was a lot more of the world involved in the other war, what World War 1 lacks in diverse factions (even though it still has quite a few) it more than makes up for in its diverse approaches to War itself. World War 1, has, at least in spirit, every kind of the most popular Warfighting Styles there ever were. If you want big Dakka Dakka guns, there's big dakka dakka guns. If you want snipers, there's snipers. Battleships, Airplanes, Tanks, Grenades, EVIL CHEMICALS!? CAVALRY AND/OR SWORDS! And all the technology is juuust weird, new, and shitty enough that nothing has quite completely phased those old things out. Plus, there's ~Trench Warfare~, SO MUCH TRENCH WARFARE! This is like, THE Trench Warfare War! And that's beautiful, because not only does it keep the action close, tense, and personal, but once you finally get to come over and fuck up the other guy's shit, that means you get to stab, club, and battleaxe the fuck out of everyone in a glorious display of Good Old-Fashioned Asskicking(tm) despite all the terrifying modern technology that would have fucked you up if you tried to do that otherwise. 10 EHMS points.

Early Industrial Warfare really takes the cake, though. It has fun guns and artillery, in all sorts of absurd and steampunk styles. If you want to go into the really obscure things, there's all sorts of awesome concepts like the Grapeshot Gun, the Hand-Mortar, and FREAKIN' WAR BALLOONS. Napoleon takes the cake for causing a war situation in which there's a million different super-fancy uniforms fighting the shit out of each other, The Revolutionary War is fun because there's lots of invasions, siege tactics, and sea-to-land stuff, the Anglo-Spanish war is fun because PIRATES, and lots of big naval ships blowing the fuck out of each other, and the Civil War is fun because their gun technology is really improving, and there's lots of Train Sabotage and Wild West antics, in addition to FREAKIN' TRENCH WARFARE. Swords, gunpowder, fancy uniforms, big freakin' boats, what's not to love about this era of warfare? Of course, guns do get in the way of the GOFAK(tm) dogma, but hey, there's enough of it to still have fun. They're balanced against each other, kinda like Warhammer 40k, but more happy and colorful. Easily 15 EHMS points.

FEUDAL CHINA. I FUCKING LOVE FEUDAL CHINA. It's like the medieval times, but with more exotic weapons, more Kung Fu, and more rival empires constantly trying to come over the mountains and kick your ass. (And quite often, they do. And it's fucking METAL.) On top of mixing and matching with the Mighty Mongols and the Indians, who have whackass weaponry and strategies in their own right, China really shines in its martial arts culture, and, outside of that, its incredible almost Sandalpunk inventions made exclusively for Kicking ass. THESE are the history lessons that made me appreciate Giant Siege Weapons and Explosives even though they detracted from the GOFAK(tm) of the setting. Sure, melee may have to share the spotlight, even if it is in all these awesome martial arts styles, but SHIT, HOW DO YOU ARGUE WITH SIEGE FLAMETHROWERS, KNIFE WALLS, MOBILE CATAPULTS, and MOTHERFUCKING KAMIKAZE BOATS!? Oh, yeah, did I mention BOATS? They fought each other all the time on the Yellow River, and their methods for doing so were so fucking ingenious. In addition to making them basically FLOATING CASTLES from which to defend from or invade other boats, there were also boats with giant fucking hammers to smash other boats, tankboats paddled by an army below-deck, boats with catapults, and boats explicitly meant for the rowers to ram into another boat with their spiked bows, light all the gunpowder bombs on the deck, and then undo the pins in the middle, split off, and row away before it blows up! There's just so much insane shit to look into, and it's so mad-scientist awesome I just can't help but be awestruck by it the more I learn. 20 EHMS points. 

1400s-1500s Super-Late Medieval/Super-Early Renaissance Warfare is some of the best fucking warfare I've ever seen. Melee, Good Old-Fashioned Asskicking(tm) as we know it, was at its highest and most perfected form in this era. From a sheerly melee standpoint, the Full Plate Knight with whatever badass medieval weapon basically outclasses all warriors that came before or since. This is the age of 2-handed swords, shiny armored horses, super-complex siege warfare, ginormous elaborate castles and fortified cities, Plague doctors, and there's even Gunpowder shit stepping in a little bit to satisfy your appetite for blowing shit up, but it's kept nice and expensive/impractical for the most part, so it'll kick ass in its own right without ruining all your peasant-squashing fun as a chivalrous, heavily armored Murder-Batman. Wacky awesome polearms, giant swords, Awesome-looking full helms, advanced artwork and martial arts depicting and detailing glorious combat, Late Medieval War is the best Medieval War, and some of the best war in general period. God I love the smell of blood-encrusted surcoats in the morning!... One of these centuries, this age is gonna end... 25 EHMS points. Bonus points for any and all Elephant cavalry. AND all gun-toting camel riders.

Guess what Steve read about today rather than sitting through a shitty lecture? Jews. Mainly, there early routes. And now, partly to compartmentalize this information and to continue my proud tradition of shitting out information onto the forums where no one with the exception of @adamwiggie reads it, I'm going to talk about them.

The Israelites, the OG Kikes, have shrouded origins, because shit back then was crazy. They were thought to be the settled people of the nomadic group of raiders known as the Shasu settling with Israel, mixing in with the poorer folk of Canaan trying moving outward. Their god, Yahweh, other known as Childless, Angrier Christian God, was based off the head God of the Canaan God El, the King of the Canaanite pantheon.

The group was originally polytheisitic, worshipping multiple Gods like Yahweh and Baal, who you might recognize as a dickhead, evil enemy of God in the Old Testament, which is just so cool. Then, the idea that Yahweh was like the Israelites main god came about with the concept of national gods, so that each tribe had a main god routing for it. This developed into the belief of many gods, but the worship of one, from which Judaism first really came about, and has its first roots, which you can see from how the Old Testament refers to other gods. The early Israelites believed in many gods, but Yahweh was their personal one. It's known as Monolatry, and it's interesting. Then, natural upscaling made it that theirs was the most powerful, until all the other gods were bullshit, and there was only one God, the God of everything, birthing Judaism.

The Jews fucked about for a pretty long time, it was boring, and I didn't bother. They didn't really break out of Egypt in a massive uprising, which is a shame. Like, there wasn't even a cool uprising the Biblical story was based on. But you know, shit happened, until the Romans took over and Jesus came about. Then stuff got cool again. The Jews went to war against the Romans after a shit ton of issues arose due to corrupt taxation and the Romans trying to force their Pantheon of Gods and Emperor worship on the Romans, and shit got cool in the 66th year. So like, two Jesi lifespans after the year of his supposed birth, except no, he was born in 2 BCE because life is annoying. 

Twenty years earlier, two Jewish brothers named Jacob and Simon led an uprising, and were executed. So the Jews were mad. In 66, Greeks were killing birds for their gods in front of a Synagogue, and the Jews stopped sacrifices to the Emperor out of spite. The Governor raided their temple and stole their money, and like badasses, the Jews began handing out baskets to collect money for him as if he was a beggar. Florus then crucified a bunch of them, because that's what happens Jews. The Jews got pissed, and the group known as the Zealots had a big uprising. A large part of it was the Sicarii, secret assassin Jews who assassinated any Romans or sympathizers and disappeared into the crowd, because that was a thing. Anyhow, Jews took over.

Of course, the Romans rounded up the Syrian Legion led by Legate Gallus, and started tearing Jews up. They were doing pretty well, until when moving to the coach they were attacked in a tight pass, losing 6000 soldiers in a rape of a battle, terrifying Rome and giving the Jews a bunch of weapons and armor. The Jews made the Judean People's Front, or maybe the People's Front of Judea. Hang on, it was the Judean Free Government. The Sicarii tried to takeover the Jews, before being kicked out of Judea.

Emperor Nero realized he needed to wipe out the Jews, and sent two legions to wipe them out. They took vast swathes of land, with many Jewish towns straight up surrendering. Now, this shit's interesting. The main historian on this, Josephus, was fighting for the Jews. He's actually also only one of the only secular sources for Jesus having existed, so there's that. When the Romans were about to take over the town of Yodfat, the Jews were all killing themselves to avoid capture. Josephus' squad agreed to kill themselves, but suicide is hard, so they made a system where every third man would be killed by the others. This was suggested by Josephus, and is a famous problem question. Anyway, this was done until Josephus, the guy who suggested it, and another guy was left. Then, they decided to surrender, which is fucking hilarious. Old Joe was then imprisoned, where he predicted Vespasian would rise up during a dispute between four potential Emperors and become the Emperor, which happened, and thinking he was divine, Vespasian released him, and he later worked as a negotiator between the Jews and Romans, and a historian, which is why we know about Jesus, and this whole shebackle. Oh, and he had four wives in his life, who died, left him, left him and stayed, in that order.

Retreating Jewish forces led by John of Giscala reinforced Jerusalem. Vespasian became Emperor, putting his son Titus in charge. Meanwhile in the Jew story, there was a badass Jew named Simon son of Giora. He was a populist radical who the Zealots had kicked out of Jerusalem because he was too crazy, and there were moderates who wanted peace. Simon started fucking around, building forces and raiding the wealthy, scaring the rest of the Jews, who kidnapped his wife in an ambush to force him to surrender. Simon captured a bunch of them, torturing and executing them, cutting off their hands and feet, promising to do it to the rest of them if they didn't stop. They released his wife after that, because Simon was a badass. Simon met up with John of Giscala and the retreating Jews, returning to take over Jerusalem.

Of course, Jews are crafy, so infighting began between the moderates, Simon and John. Ironically, they mainly burned each other's grain supplies to starve each other into submission. Then, the Romans showed up, starting a siege of the city, and they had little grain. Then, more Zealots destroyed their own grain supplies in order to force Yahweh to help. He didn't. The Roman siege lasted seven months, before the Romans managed to break through, burning everything to shit. The Jews were massacred, with John and Simon being captured, and the Jewish temple was burnt down. Jerusalem died and Jews were massacred. Simon was tossed off a cliff as an execution, and the Jews failed. The End.

That wasn't the best ending if you were pro-Jew, but fuck it.

This was actually a huge moment for Christians. As a more pacifistic group, this forced them to further separate from their Jewish origins to avoid persecution. Plus, the destruction of the Jewish Temple and resulting Diaspora was perfect for Christianity spreading. So thanks to Jews infighting, Christianity could prosper.

So @orange and any other site Jews, there you go. The birth of the Abrahamic religions, a cool tale of rebellion, and Jewish people who aren't getting holocausted. I hope you enjoyed reading, @adamwiggie.  

I love history, though I never formally studied it in college.  My interest in history probably started when they briefly touched on Greek Mythology in elementary school.  It solidified when I started to learn of Eleanor of Aquitaine and realized it was the "Mother" so often mentioned in Disney's Robin Hood.  (Mother always did love Richard best!)  It was further entrenched when I learned about King Henry the 8th of England and his Six Wives, and the following drama that ensued when his only son, Edward, died, giving rise to the Nine Day Queen (Lady Jane Grey), Bloody Mary, and the Virgin Queen (aka Elizabeth the first).  For several years I didn't have much interest in other history, but I've slowly branched out, mostly as I look up historical references to places and people mentioned in movies/TV shows/books that I've read.  I think if I ever went back to college I would love to study history, though other than being a history teacher, I'm not sure how useful it would be in the job market.

Pretty much anything prior to the 1900's is interesting to me, though to varying degrees.  But what it has taught me is that most places have been conquered many times, or at least, mixed up through trade and other things.  Really, the idea of a pure people or culture seems to be just a delusion.  To me, it really teaches us that we can't really keep going back and keeping score of who hurt who when and how much.  Instead we have to look at how to make things work in the here and now, and for the future. 

Still, history is a wonderful thing to inspire one to write stories.