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I have been very disappointed in my the community I have found around the chose your path and adventure sites, as well as RP sites.  

I had decided to join these sites with the intent to challenge myself and better adapt to writing with my disability. I have a visual disability.  I have difficulty processing visual information and understanding it. I don't care I won't let it stop me. I also wanted to meet new people and make friends as well.  

I have been shunned, and ostracized.   I have been on discord, and had other players refuse to acknowledge me at all. I would speak to them and they would respond to everyone but me.  It was very hard for me, and still is. I have not given up.  They can bite me.  

It is my understanding that this is a make believe world, and it is not appreciated when I shatter that by talking about anything real in my life. Well suck it up butter cup. My son shot himself in the head at the age of 17.  If i can survive that, they can deal with me talking about him.  I will never stop talking about him. I am an author believe it or not.  I am not very good but I do have fans. Those fans say I saved their life talking about my boy.  So, no I will never stop talking about him. 

I have no issue getting dates.  Far from it. I came to these sites looking for something more. I am looking for friends. I am alone now that my mother passed and it has been hard. She left this world in November.  

So as far as triggering goes. I agree with Avery. Don't read it if you don't like it.  Not to mention the reality is that the world is a very ugly place and it is never going to be fair. Expecting your demands to be given into on such things is not going to happen out there.  Might as well learn that now.  

No one has treated me poorly here.  The jokes you make may sound mean from the outside, but I am aware the intent is to be friendly and include me.  For that, I am grateful. 

M. Oracle

Sounds like you wandered into CoG (Choice of Games), the hilarity ensues there with how triggered they get over the smallest things. You can find tons of threads here involving us laughing about them.

In any case, sucks about your son, but yeah from the short amount of posts you've made here so far you seem cool. I never pay attention to complaints about my stories either since much like you I've gotten PMs from enough people saying how I inspired them, snapped them out of depression, etc. So I figure I'm doing something right. (Surprising to me too)

You mentioned you have a visual disability, well you're in luck! Our resident blindy Mayana has fallen out of favor due to her recent baffling antics, and you're just in time to take her place!

Oh no, I am not sure I can follow in those footsteps from the sounds of it.  Yes It is a form of visual agnosia.  Well a couple of them actually. I can see with my eyes better than perfect. I am blind in my mind. I have face blindness for one. If you had several items on a table, and asked me to pick out one of them and hand it to you, I would have difficulty.  I can not process the image as a whole without some trouble.  As an artist that was devastating, but I am adapting, and intend to keep improving.

Thank you for acknowledging me. It is a kindness I do not see anymore. Thank you. 

oh I am fine now. Thank you. I have a rough patch but I am going to be fine. things get better with every day. Learnig to adapt is part of survival.  It just can be embaressing because I can not pick up the information as fast as I used. 

No one here has treated me anything like what happened there. It was not COG. Although, as i recall, my experience was equally brief and brutal with them as well. 

I kept trying. I thought I must be projecting, but I tested that theory every day, with the same result. I would say hello in the general chat. The standard hello would be countered.  I got the feeling that certain people were required to respond to an inbound party.  Any questions or comments of mine were completely ignored.  The group would wait until I had logged off to answer.  I suppose so it might appear to the owner that they had not been unkind to me. Then I noticed that I was being bumped? I am not sure if that is the correct word. I was being bumped off the threads. I was not bumped up, but but off completely. 

My questions were treated as if they were the dumbest questions ever posed.  Maybe they are, but I can't help that. I tried explaining many times that I do not understand. I am not able to process the information as it is presented. I needed a break down like was given when I asked here. 

I had one person tell me to direct message her any time with questions. I did.  She ignored me. I am embarrassed even revealing this, because I worry your all wondering what is wrong with me that I would be treated that way.  I don't know.  I think I am funny, but that's only in my mind I am sure.  I doubt anyone else considers me half as funny as I think I am.  So, maybe I am annoying.  I can be a tad eccentric, but aren't all artists? I talk a lot on occasion, but for the most part as an introvert, I am generally quiet. I speak about my son as I already told you. I ask about other's and their day.  I ask to help with anything. I don't  know what I did wrong. If i do it wrong here, please tell me. I really don't know. My intent is not malicious in anyway whatever it is. 

I am not a very talented writer or story teller since the injury.  I still love doing both though.  Maybe that was the issue.

Hi hi! It sounds like you found your way to COG (Choice of Games). I’ve been in their discord a couple times and I understand how it’s like. I’m sorry about your son, and your mom. I don’t advise going back to Choice of Games, it’s really not a very welcoming or accepting place as far as new people go. But welcome (if you are new to CYS because I haven’t seen you around before, might just be me not being super active) to the site!

It was not choice of games, although I did try that briefly and it was not for me.  I am brand new, and writing my first story now. Well, I am trying to write it and probably doing a horrible job. I am trying to figure out your system. Someone explained how it works, and I am applying that to my work and preparing to publish it. You will see me be much more active in the coming weeks. Thanks for saying hello. 

I’m excited to see your first story when you’re done! I know it will be great. If you need a little more help, you can check out the Help & Info section on the side bar. Looking forward to seeing you more often! :) !

Thanks very much.  I really appreciate your help. 

Glad to hear it! ... Not sure exactly what I said that you agree with, but whatever it was, I'm sure that I was right. 

And I'm really sorry to hear about your son. I lost my brother to suicide almost three years ago now, and I've come across the whole, "You shouldn't talk about suicide because some people might find it upsetting" crap and it pisses me the hell off.

Thanks Avery.  I was reading where you were debating this whole trigger topic.  You made a point to say that you thought people should write as they wish.  If a reader did not like the content, they should not read it then. You seemed to feel that an artist or writer should not be censored in regards to their creative process. It seemed that way to me. Maybe I misspoke.  If so, I apologize.  In any event I agree if it was your position, and if it was not, again my apologies. 

Yeah, that's pretty much my standpoint. I totally understand that some people aren't going to want to read about certain topics and that's fine, but if you see a warning saying that a game contains certain triggering subjects, just don't play the game. Find something else that you'll actually enjoy instead of complaining about the content of a game that you don't have any interest in reading anyway.

The icing on the cake was when I was told that trigger warnings are "distasteful" because they appeal to an immoral audience... ... ... The stupidity makes my brain hurt. >.<

Exactly! I just said that to turnip? I know that is not correct, but Avery called the member that and I it stuck with me. I don't recall the correct username. 

I just said to turnip that being someone with PTSD I  found it offensive for it to be used as a crutch in such a way. Sounds like some people need to grow up over there. 

Well my tourettes reading condition must have been triggered again, because I keep reading the title as "Tribbing?" now.

Now I am triggered and traumatized.  Nevermind that  how I know what that is. 

I have never heard such language.  Well not today anyway. I would high five you if I could. 

There are a lot of people in this world, often times those who believe that they are some kind of persecuted group or are professional victims, who latch on to anything that makes them feel in power. Some people choose stories. And in these stories they try to create an idealized world where they can choose to be the hero (or villian) and face none of the discrimination they think they currently suffer. Unfortunately (as is the case of Choice of Games) these people let their fantasies and desire to live in their fantasies stifle others artistic vision. One cannot bring the problems and horrors of the real world into their fantasies. To do so would "trigger" them. But to them, triggering is just manufactured outrage. A way to silence those who would open others up to new possiblilites and realities. Those who would show a world seperate from their goal of a sanitized and idealized view of how the world should be.

Now, I'm going post you what I told Avery Moore back in November of last year back on CoG that I think can apply to you (slightly edited to make it a bit more applicable to a wider audience): 

Why not just write what you want to write? It seems like a lot of people have conflicting views on this (insert "triggering" content) and they are telling you how you should proceed. I know many people will like your story no matter what you choose to do. In the end this is your labor of love. You put the time, effort, and energy into making your vision come to life. So in the end your decision is yours to make. Don't feel obligated to write what you don't want because people won't like it. Because many people will like it. And many people will support you no matter what you choose to do.

Pretty reasonable I think. Well the denizens of CoG for the most part disagree. But I think this should apply to everyone, yourself included. This is your story and nobody can take it from you. Not the critics and not the fans. Your experiences have merit. Your work has merit. Never be afraid to make the kind of story that you want to make. Because there will always be those of us out there who will continue to cheer you on and cherish your work no matter how loud the dissenting voices grow to be.

Unless you're writing Warrior Cats stories or a furry dating sim...

Thanks again for that, Turnip. You give good advice. ^_^

I can not seem to find the thread again. What you said to Avery is what I had read. I must have read your comment with Avery's and combined them in my mind. I apologize.  It was my understading Avery thought the same as you do, but chose a different crayon to highlight it with. I don't know how better to describe the distinction. 

I could not agree with you more, and what a relief to have found my tribe. I have struggled, reminding myself that I have just not found where I belong.  Inevitably the odds were I would find a place that I fit with the group. It seems, so far, that I have done just that. 

If I were to be completely honest, the debate over triggering content, resulted in a hard forehead slap reaction.  I did not complete the reading because it was so ludicrous. The words I would have used orginally were as follows; 

Life is not fair.  Suck it up.  It gets worse.  Life is not going to bend to your every wish.  you will be required to bend more ofthen than anyone or anything else will. Life is about adapting in order to survive.  If you fail to adapt, you perish. 

Lastly, here is what really frustrated me and irked me; for one to be triggered, they would have to had experienced a trauma that the content reminded them of in some way to trigger the flashback. As someone with PTSD, this does not sit well with me for the word to be used as  a crutch.  So shall we call it the pansy crutch. Yes, I think I like it. 

I realize your words are much more inspiring and probaby the adult way to handle it. I appreciate everything you said, and thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I am really relieved to find a place that I can finally be comfortable. I am on the immature side and lack the ability to word that gratitude as beatifully as the things you wrote were. 

Out of curiosity, what is the forum/discord/community that you're talking about?

For the time being I prefer not to say.  The reason being is that there have been a couple of people who have been very kind to me.  Actually four of them. Two of which own the game. They have tried very hard even though they have some bad apples, and I do not want to slander their name specifically. I see them both working very hard to make this into something, and  I do not want to affect that negatively.  I think I just do not fit because I am the black sheep of the black sheep so to speak. 

I hope you do not decide you don't like me.  I am a grown women, and I am sitting her crying my eyes out. 

I don't even understand what on earth I did that was so terrible.  I was going to at least finish the story I was collaborating on.  The individual I was doing this collaboration with, had touched on topics regarding quantum physics. I was trying to relate and get to know each other and make friends.  I over stepped evidently.  I told him about an NDE I had and what my opinion was of quantum physics in relation to that. When I checked my messages today, He was irate. He did not like how comfortable I was and he did not reciprocate.  I am very confused. I'm a very deep person. I care very much about those around me.  I have never known any other way. I guess i overshared is what he said. Then there was a message from one of the staff wanting to talk to me. I was too embarrassed. I just simply said, it was not necessary we talk.  That I would bow out and would still plug them on the television show. I didn't want to ruin anything. I apologized and logged off. I won't go back. I was scared to even come here. I am hoping you all can tell me what I did wrong. Because I really do not understand what was wrong. What did I do?

Oracle. 

Well, I am surprised it upset me as bad as it did.  What information I have shared here, and there is very much commonly known about me.  Trust me, I have not gotten near as sensitive and in depth into my  life as I could. What I have had said here is really not invasive in my view, but I guess your right.  It depends on who you ask.  I have had the night to think about it, and spoke to a staff member that was very nice to me and always has been. However, I decide something after we spoke.  

I am not a very good writer. However, I am published and do have a small group of fans. They are happy with my work and what I share. It has been very fulfilling and healing for me. I write as much for who is reading my work as I am for myself. When I am writing for my group of fans, I can be very open, within reason.  I have always been a very feeling, loving and empathic person. 

The more I think about it the more I find it upsetting that I was in some way made to feel bad about being who i am. I had specifically touched on the topic discussing personal things with the person in question at which point he said that it was fine. He was comfortable with whatever I was.  The group was role play, it is new.  it is called Oasis.  The person I spoke to this morning was very kind.  She always has been. It is only a couple of people that have shunned me, and they have done so because I am too open from my understanding. 

I was bewildered by it, because I have never run into any major static.  Most people had always appreciated my stories, as well as what I shared. Then you add I had asked him if doing so was okay and he said it was totally fine.  I still find what he found offensive or over sharing bizarre. 

Yes I agree I do try to keep in mind the age group I may or may not be dealing with.  This guy is early thirties, or late twenties. I can't remember his exact age. Also, I do not like drama, I do not cope with it well as you can see. I do agree that sharing too much can indeed cause drama. Even now I may have over shared and possibly cause hurt feelings.  I care very much about peoples feelings. However, normally i am not this sensitive about rejection.  The last year has been the pits.  Anyone that was my friend right now, I would feel bad for.  It would be a lot to be friends with me at this stage of my life.  I am not in a great state of mind.  I have suffered a great deal of loss recently.  i would put a massive amount of expectations, although it unintentional on that person's shoulders. I recognize that, and I need to fix me.

I do not exactly think that it was fair how i have been treated, but it was not unreasonable  now that I look back at it. Given the situation I may have reacted the same way in their shoes. I am normally a very self confident person As I stated the last year has changed my life completely. 

Thanks to you and every one else for talking me thru this, and helping me grapple it. Who knew you would all end up beng someone's counselor when you signed up.  You should  not have to, but I very much appreciate it. 

Oracle. 

Uhh... I guess quantum physics is a very sensitive subject? 

yes, in regards to possible story ideas.  I had an NDE and my description of that event, has quantum physics theory in it. That is the reason the topic even came up and I even said anything about it.  He said I caused him anxiety.  I can't help but feel like one day he was friendly with me and literally the next day, he was cold as if he had spoken to someone that affected his view of me.  Let me rephrase, it is my suspicion that someone changed his view point of me by discussing their feelings about me. I may know who, and it is fine. I can't believe I let anyone make me feel ashamed of being myself.  I am disappointed more in myself than anything.

What's going on with your avatar, it keeps disappearing and reappearing periodically.

I called away at one point, and left the computer all together with me logged in, but also, I was moving back and forth speaking to someone who was trying to help from the site. I think that might be what your talking about?

Oh yeah, it's gone again. 

maybe if i reload my photo? let me try. 

how about now?

Nope. This is really confusing. I've always seen it up till now. 

Okay, I'm convinced that picture's cursed. 

oh, you still can not see it or, You just don't like it? :/

Can't see it... Which is extremely weird, since I've always seen it before, and apparently everyone else can see it, so... Yep. Definitely cursed. 

ha ha , well this time my avatar is not there. You are correct because i corrupted the photo somehow. so, I uploaded a photo of me instead.  I am not sure what everyone is seeing tho because i still see my avatar in the thread. 

I just see a blank square.

Tres bizarre, I will upload a new one in a bit. Also, I just connected to your facebook page and shared you to my channels. Hope it sends some traffic your way. :)

Oh wow! Thank you so much, that's really kind of you! 

Working for me as well.

Awesome applesauce! thank you 

Lol the avatar has disappeared again for me.

I really want to solve the mystery of the disappearing avatar. 

shit! okay looking at it. 

I think I fixed it?

Yeah it's a different avatar, guessing that's a pic of you now.

Yes drawing a new  avatar now.  I dont know why but the one that had been up there will not work now. 

I can see this one! ^_^

Thank you. 

No more worries. 

This place is quite kind and accommodating to moms and aspiring moms to be. You already seem primed in position for one of our premium programs that there is to offer.

I did not  know there were offers. Thanks. I mother everyone, so I may begin to get on everyone's nerve.  I try not to nag, but I an get that way especially if someone is sick or hurting.  In some ways it can be a character defect.  Thank you for being kind.