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It has been recently theorized that Wizzy is going to get beat up in real life for making Cystian jokes in front of real people. This is not a matter of if, but when. Therefore, as a favor to Wizzy, I decided to open up a poll and get to the bottom of this; just what percentage of people would beat Wizzy up in real life?

Here are a few statistics regarding WizzyCat's capacity for getting beat up.

-100% of Mexicans would beat up Wizzy.
-100% of Serbians would beat up Wizzy.
-100% of crippled people would beat up Wizzy.
-100% of Canadians would rape Wizzy.
-Some of you are really gay.
-There are a grand total of 0 people on this planet who would not beat up Wizzy if presented with the opportunity.

With that, here are the results of the poll (while the poll itself can be found here)

And so we can come to the conclusion that Wizzy is going to be beat up in the immediate future, among other things. People of CYS, it is your responsibility to use this thread to carefully detail exactly how you would beat up Wizzy, for his own protection of course. Do not lie and say you wouldn't, as this is clear evidence that 100% of the population absolutely would.

EDIT: 40 more 'yes' votes have rolled in since I started making this thread. Wizzy will die soon, I'm afraid.

I hope Wizzy is taking careful notes.

And wears some kind of protection against pinecones. Amongst other things.

Hundreds of users have weighed in since the creation of this thread, astounding! We could host an entire prompt contest on different ways to hate Wizzy's urethra at this point.


...but which of you little shits is in there pasting the Bee Movie script?

-100% of Serbians would beat up Wizzy.
-100% of crippled people would beat up Wizzy.

I assume you can see the geographical location of the responders, but I wasn't aware technology has progressed to the point a random poll website knows whether one is crippled or not.

Also, death to Wizzy!

Man.  Wizzy.  How'd you get so many folks ready to beat you up?  What did you do?  What did you say?

And props to Sherb for this highly scientific piece of research.

Whoever this WizzyCat guy is, he should probably watch his back, judging by the unprecedented number of CYStians that came out in droves to vote. Perhaps the US could increase voter turnout by including questions about who voters want to have beaten up!

TypewriterCat > WizzyCat

Duh

You're worse than both.

Duh.

I mean look at their points logs

We have to find the one guy who said no and then beat him up

It was probably just Wizzy. Problem already solved.

The one who said no is one of the 992 American voters. That should narrow it down.

New information proves that 100% of the Dutch would beat up Wizzy.

But CAN they?