a Modern Adventure by AzBaz

Commended by BerkaZerka on 9/24/2017 5:43:28 PM

Player Rating6.38/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 39 ratings since 07/05/2019
played 666 times (finished 34)

Story Difficulty5/8

"run through the jungle"

Play Length7/8

"It keeps going and going"

Maturity Level7/8

"anything goes"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 18. If this were a movie, it would probably be R.

.-- .... -.-- / -... . / .- / .... . .-. --- ..--..

When all that's desired is to do good in a cruel World with so little power, what measures might be taken to create change? Afflicted by something more than just psychosis, one rogue hero seeks a path of getting that power to help people in need. Henle's getting rougher by the day and it's starting to look like Bast isn't the only problem on the streets. In the end, it all comes down to Frameshift.

Parts of this tie into my main project, though they're only minor things that are neither particularly easy to find nor important to the plot. In context of the main story, however, anything you might feel is left unexplained can be understood from the information coming to a CYS near you sometime in the sort-of-near future.

Thanks to all of those who patiently helped me as I stumbled around the merciless world of scripting, especially BradinDvorak.
NOTE FOR READERS: Any number works to unlock the passcode at the start; I originally added this to prevent people accessing the story while editing and kept it because it ties into other stories I'm working on.

hAha sozry, 4 eny m¡§keš this my fist storey pleas   r8 ni5ely!!1

Player Comments

NOTE: This review contains light spoilers. Nothing too bad, but still. Also note that this is only after one playthrough, so it's less a thorough review of the entirety of the story, and more a first impression. I intend to read this again one day and do things differently.

I've always meant to get around to reading this story when it was first published, and then when it was finally republished. Honestly? I'm kind of ashamed of how long it's taken me, because this is a damn fine story and one of the best additions to the site.

I'll start by saying the idea of a mentally unstable vigilante has always been really fascinating to me. Characters like Rorschach and Moon Knight are among my favorite comic characters of all time, and the protagonist definitely had shades (no pun intended) of them. The fact that Shade is more than just a voice in the protagonist's head, but practically another person entirely, is a nice touch.

All the characters were pretty likeable, with Claire and the aforementioned Shade being chief among them. Claire was well-developed as the protagonist's only true confidant. (Side note: I liked that the player wasn't forced into romancing Claire, the idea of them just being close friends is wholesome.) Meanwhile, Shade is an absolute asshole, but one with understandable motivations: he just wants to keep himself, and by extension the protagonist, alive. The idea of an enemy within type character is just so Goddamn cool, as I said before. Kinda reminds me of Fight Club a bit.

The actual story itself is also pretty strong, if not as EBIC as I was expecting. An underdog hero trying to rise up and become the greatest in a world that couldn't give less of a shit about them? Sign me the fuck up!

The consequences of the player's actions are well-rounded and make sense. I liked a certain moment in the first chapter. Honestly, THAT scene is one of my favorite moments of any CYS story, or any story at all for that matter. If you've read the story, you know what it is. That was fucking awesome.

The scripting and variable usage was top-notch, though I did notice one error (on the page muscle-bound) involving the SEX variable; you forgot to put a 1 for if the player was male. Other than that? I didn't notice any errors in the scripting or variables.

Regarding writing, the descriptions and imagery are some of the best I've seen on this site. There was one or two typos (par the course for a story this big) but nothing that bad. Nothing to bitch about in the grammar department either.

Overall, my only complaint is that the story didn't feel that EBIC, but then again that's just me. You obviously put a lot of time and effort into this, and I commend you for that. In my opinion, you've made not just an amazing storygame, but an amazing experience.

-- Chris113022 on 9/10/2019 3:16:47 PM with a score of 5740
I think this is my favorite game that I've played on CYS so far. I don't want to talk about spoiler stuff here, because there are a *lot* of things that could be spoiled, but I do want to talk about how much time and attention was paid to prose style.

"Nervously, you search behind the swirling abyss of its body to look for a drink. There are only three, but they stand out like blazing suns."

It's a nice description. But one of the blazing sun drinks is *water*! That was funny at first, and then it made me think about how dream-like this moment was.

There is a terrific mislead at one point that I feel like I don't even want to get into except that it was absolutely brilliant and reminded me of one of my favorite parts of Planescape: Torment.

Clair and Shade are well done, interesting characters, and this story has a real flair for the way dialogue actually sounds.

I played it six times, the last two just to appreciate the language and the attention to detail.
-- Gower on 8/31/2019 5:13:51 PM with a score of -980
This is a really well written story, and I've always liked the concept of a split-personality superhero. In a way the dichotomy between Shade and the protagonist reminded me of Venom, at first. SPOILERS: The foreshadowed fallout between the two halves is expected, but hits hard nonetheless because it comes with the death of the protagonist's grandmother, who was well established early on. The impact of that death was so profound in fact, that I didn't hesitate at all in killing Shade during our reunion six years later.

In fact, Shade and his commentary are the best part about this story and he shines especially in dream sequences. His mood swings took me off-guard when selecting a drink at the beginning of the story, and had me paying attention to his mannerisms from that point forward.

I felt like the interactions with Claire were pretty serviceable, relatively. What I could've personally used was more world-building, and more incentive to care about the protagonist's goal of becoming a hero. The exact properties of "frameshift" eluded me as well, but this could've been by intention or just a lack of my understanding. And the fake death was pretty awesome. Any sort of typos I came across I gave not a fat shit about, because the quality of this story is really, really high.

Thanks for writing this AzBaz, it was great.
-- TheChef on 8/15/2019 12:15:48 AM with a score of 9190
its was a very interesting story that I enjoyed thoroughly
-- RedLightPrince33 on 11/6/2019 8:40:43 PM with a score of 1820
>10 new featured storygames this year alone, including this one which yes, is fantastic.

"Oh no, our community is dying!" --random accountless guy who is not a part of the community.

-- mizal on 10/27/2019 4:53:32 AM with a score of 0
I've read many of the stories on this site, from Eternal to Necromancer, I have embarked on many journeys, this particular journey sparked my interest. Please, continue to contribute to our ever so dying community. We'd all appreciate it.
-- Malthus the Pitchwalker on 10/25/2019 8:57:51 PM with a score of 5710
Well written, humorous and gritty.
-- humperdoo900 on 9/10/2019 1:48:29 PM with a score of 8770
Beautiful prose coupled with a thrilling story, Frameshift is a standout amongst the clunky, oversaturated capeshit genre. It's a bit short and railroaded for my tastes... I'm looking forward to your next project.
-- VainCorsair on 9/2/2019 2:18:04 PM with a score of 10820
NOTE FOR READERS: Forgot to put this in the description but any number works to unlock the passcode at the start; I originally added this to prevent people accessing the story while editing and kept it because it ties into other stories I'm working on.

-- AzBaz on 7/15/2019 11:19:46 AM with a score of 14043
It's well written, though most choices seemed to lead to the same ending, and once it did give me a different ending most of the page was a massive error message.
-- Killa_Robot on 9/23/2017 6:18:09 PM with a score of 0
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