Gig: Blast Damage Days

grammar and punctuation are a bit off sometimes, but it's a decent story

Although this was a short story game (which I didn't mind), I felt there could be a bit more filler scenes to help put some meat on its bones. It just went next scene, next scene, next scene, done.

Also I'm not too big on excessive descriptions, especially where Sci-Fi is concerned, so I didn't care about that, but I would have liked to know more about the MC like Future said.

4/8.

Not horrible. But yeah, honestly not great in all aspects, either. I did like the idea, the setting, and what was going on. It just felt hard for me to get into it. Like Nightwatch mentioned, the sentences feel rough and kind of forced. I had to read a number of them more than once just to figure out what they were saying. I think a little more natural descriptions of things would help the story -- both in that the sentences might end up easier to read, but also adding to the length of the story. And missing capitalizing the first letter of sentences is really just distracting.

Thank you for sharing the story with us and giving the contest a go!

The sentences don't breathe at all in this story where commas are a rarity. It's kind of like spaghetti, where the noodles are sentences and pulling one up brings another with it, and another. It's enough to affect the reading experience, so I have to lower my rating a little.

Mostly, this story suffers from being short. The setting seems more like an impression than a grounded experience, probably because names like Maelstrom are dropped in without any explanation, or enough context to make it seem smooth.

Otherwise, it seems alright. I wasn't captivated by the plot, but I didn't have to stop reading it either.

Grammar and punctuation were atrocious; so bad that it distracted me from the story. The story itself was too short and lacking a lot of description/background. But good job on getting a contest entry in!

2/8.

First, I liked the game, and the direction it was going, but It was much to short. Also, it could have used much more description of the characters and the world. What does a solo look like? What does anton look like? What are the extent of the environmental problems both in and out side of Night City? Also, it would have been nice to learn a little more about Anton's past.