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Escape the Dark Castle

You have no idea how long you’ve been walking, but it feels like forever. At least the pain does.

Besides the obvious pain of the occasional rough shove or whip at your back, your feet are bleeding from the hard ground you’ve been walking on.

You can’t see a thing with this bag over your head, you don’t even remember how you got in this predicament, but you know you must be chained to other people based on the sounds and the collar around your neck.

“Stop. Take their bags off.” someone says.
“What for?” another voice asks.
“I like the new prisoners to see where they’re going to be spending the rest of their short existence. It really gives a sense of hopelessness!”
“Won’t they get that feeling when they see the inside of their cells?”
“Yeah, but I don’t get to see the dread in their face by that point, I’m not assigned to the dungeons.”
“This seems pointless.”
“I’m in charge here! Take the fucking bags off!”
“For fuck’s sake, just take the bags off them son, this one always has to put on a show.” an older tired voice says.
“Fine, fine.”

You feel a set a hands take off the bag…

Well it certainly looks imposing.

Besides the four armored guards, you look around and see at least eleven other poor souls with you in chains. You’re all going to the same fate and whatever it is, it won’t be good.

“Hahaha! You see that? THAT’S where you’re going to be FOREVER! Don’t worry though, most of you probably won’t live nowhere near that long.” one of the guards mocks.
“Alright, you’ve had your giggles, we better get this lot to the cells, you know the master doesn’t like people fucking around on the job and you know the punishment.” the older one says.

With those words the bags are put back on your heads, and you are marched into the DARK CASTLE. You don’t know how many turns and corridors you walk down, but you couldn’t memorize it if you tried.

At some point you hear the guards talking about dividing you up and taking you to different cellblocks.

Eventually the bag comes off and you’re thrown into a cell with just a straw mattress and a small hole in the floor. You don’t know how long you’re in the cell, and for a long time you keep expecting someone to come for you to take you to be tortured or worse. Strangely though, you are never subjected to any torture. It’s more of a case of being almost completely forgotten. Almost forgotten, since every once in awhile some water and dirty food are shoved through a slot in the door. It’s enough to keep you alive.

Not enough to keep hope alive, of which you nearly have none until one day you wake up and see your cell door cracked open. You almost think you’re dreaming as it hasn’t opened since you were thrown in here.

You cautiously open the door and see torch light, you also see three others who seem to be in the same sense of disbelief you are. It’s been awhile, but you vaguely remember them from the first time you were brought here.

They know about as much as you do, but they’re all eager to get out like you are so you decide to join together to try to escape the DARK CASTLE.

Not far from your cell block you encounter what looks to be a small supply room of some sort. You may search here before pressing on.

If you decide to search pick a number 1-4. (Note: First come first serve and searching isn't always positive) Alternatively you can just skip searching and wait for everyone else.

When you press on, decide who is going to take the lead for the next encounter.

"You can call me Casandra Wamen. I'll search"

3

"Mio Dio!" Padre Augustino exclaimed to the empty air wit hall the gusto he managed to keep in reserve. "This is a hellish place and certainly no way to treat a man of the cloth!"

He slowly rose, straightening his back and shaking the sores out of his legs. The clicking sounds reminded the man he had his best years behind him. He then noticed he was not alone in this cage.

"Greetings, gentildonna, your excellency, gentleman, I am honored to make your acquaintance and deeply regret not having met you under better circumstances. My name's called Augustino, Padre of the Dzierżoniówian Order."

The lull of the greeting allowed the Padre to better observe the room. It was a bare cell, but within a small walking distance stood an even smaller chest. The Abbot couldn't help himself, feeling some tinge of joy at this unexpected present, and opened the second chest.

Suffering greatly from opium withdrawals. Eugenio Costanza yawns and rubs his eyes, and pushes his cell door open. 

He looks at the other prisoners.

"How is this bishop still so fucking fat?" He mutters.

Eugenio pets scratches the lice in his bowl cut. He sees the others have opened some chests. Leaving one alone.

"Uhhh," he makes the face in his profile picture, he supposes he will open up chest 4.

 

"I will take the lead." Wamen proclaims

Eugenio nods his approval.

Hoping the wamman knows where to go because he sure doesnt

"No, no, no no!" The Padre hastily replied when he heard a woman would be the first to brave danger in the group. "Let me go first, I won't stand for any other offering their flesh when mine would do just perfectly."

"Suit yourself." She flips her hair. "Just know I don't need any of you. I'm a strong, independent WOMEN. Got it?"

Eugenio wonders why she considers herself multiple women

He also does not want to know

The Abbot and Bishop found nothing but a couple of half rotten apples. Not exactly gold, but if you eat the good side, it should be enough to replenish lost vitality at some point.

The Miller and the Tailor found something a little more interesting. Namely unopened bottle with mysterious liquid inside.

Since this is just starting out, we’re going to go ahead and identify those now. (The Abbot AND the Bishop are both high in wisdom to do this for your group) The Miller has a Brew of Might and the Tailor has a Potion of Insight.

Obviously you’re free to exchange or give stuff to others, just let everyone know.

Having thoroughly looted the supply room, the four of you move on (with the Abbot taking the lead) hoping to take your next steps towards freedom.

You take corridor after corridor surprisingly encountering nothing of consequence. This is all very odd. You do notice that the stone floor is becoming dirt and it’s becoming less manmade and more outright cavern as bats start flapping high above you. You don’t know how deep you are, but you’re starting to wonder if you shouldn’t turn back.

Soon you notice a glistening in the dim light ahead. It’s a river. No way you’re getting around it without swimming, but in a place like this, that’s a dangerous idea.

As you ponder whether or not to go back and try a different direction, something appears…

“Well come on, I don’t have all day.” The boatman exclaims as he itches one of his diseased hands (With the other diseased hand).

If you want to press on it’s either going to be a swim or crossing by boat.

Of course IF you want to make a group decision to go back and try a different path, you can do that too, but obviously that’s going to add to your encounters.

End Master appears on a boat, we are doomed saved.

Eugenio scratches his own hands, and suggests they take the boat.

"I've read of these mystical figures. The pestilence will be tough but is a far kinder fate than whatever foul tidings nest themselves in these waters. Some men come out the other side raving mad, certain to have been in hell itself. Others lose all their memories, come out as a small baby in an old man's body. I agree we have to go with the boatman."

"Ugh," she sighs, "we can take the boat."

The Power of Prayer PLAGUE

After a lot of assurances from the Bishop and Abbot that God will protect everyone from diseases, the group gets into the boat (The Tailor reluctantly).

The boat ride is fairly uneventful as the boatman slowly rows you to the other side. Occasionally you allhear something splashing about in the water, but see nothing in the darkness. The Bishop and Abbot both whisper prayers for divine protection.

As you get to the shore, all of you start to feel itchy and that’s when all of you notice that all of you have dark abscesses forming somewhere on your bodies.

“Alright here you are.” the boatman says, motioning for all of you to get out.

You painfully scratch at your newly formed pustules as you all exit the boat. 

As the boat drifts off into the darkness, you hear the boatman chuckle.

“Fucking hell, never seen anyone fuck all stupid as you lot willingly getting into a plague boat. You must have goblin shit for brains if you thought the pathetic prayers to your God was going to protect you.”

The Abbot has caught THE PLAGUE

The Bishop has caught THE PLAGUE (Though not as much as the others)

The Miller has caught THE PLAGUE

The Tailor has caught THE PLAGUE (Worse than the others)

Pick who is going to take point and move on.

And I thought Group 2 was fucked.

But I see the Bishop was protected at least somewhat by God while the Tailor was punished for her doubt as well as for being played by Ace.

:Oh says you!? You are the reason we are in this mess in the first place! Where is your god now?! But fine, I'll go first if that's what you brutes want!" She flips her hair and goes foward.

"Padre Augustino feels heretic thoughts seeping into his skin. God had failed them against the hellish apparition. They weren't worthy enough to receive His divine protection.

"Remember the battle at Aleo," he thought. "Remember the lice that had plagued upon me, damned bloodsuckers certain to bring me to fall."

And yet it itched harder, hurt more than the simple lice that accompanied an army. The Padre found the only way to brave the feeling was to treat it as flagellation, another test to keep his soul pure and intentions holy in this castle of darkness.

"I trust in the wisdom of his excellence. Gentildonna Wamen, if you would, please lead the way."

Eugenio decides to say a quick prayer. 

He also prays that a demon or something eats that wamman or at least shaves off all her hair. 

With the Tailor believing the group would be best served with her leading things now that their bumbling had resulted in them all catching the PLAGUE, she took the lead.

The area the group was in still resembled more of a natural cave than any sort of manmade dungeon, they could only guess that MAYBE they had somehow already escaped the DARK CASTLE and were just underground somewhere.

And while that could be true, it really didn’t improve their situation as they stumbled deeper into the darkness.

The Abbot and Bishop both were unfazed by all of this though since they truly believed their God would deliver them from evil.

So sure of this, they began talking loudly about it and saying more prayers to God.

This caused the Tailor to then begin telling them to keep quiet. They didn’t listen to her though. She was just a woman after all and what could she possibly know?

So irritated by the patriarchy that the Tailor was too distracted to make note of the bones she stepped over, but she was no longer distracted when she turned the corner…

“Hey my prayer came true!” - Eugenio, suddenly thinking religion is awesome

The beast charges the Tailor first. And like most women in this age, she doesn’t get a choice, she has to fight.

The rest of the group can choose to help her or run off and hide. Keep in mind though if anyone hides, they won’t get to search the area. 

Anyone who does fight (and lives) doesn’t have to search of course.

Make your choices and assuming you lot survive, pick who is going lead next.

"Hey guys!" She yells. "Sorry about earlier! Help me! I'll even believe in your God!"

She panics as she tries to fight this beast off. To think she had to ask for help. HER! A strong independent women like me! What has this come to.

The Padre had his thoughts streaming sideways as the party encountered another demon. The creature reminded him of the bulls in Hispania, and he saw the bright toreadors once again, braving the bull in a deadly spectacle of death.

But this cave wasn't as glamorous as that picturesque arena, and the minotaur stood taller and was far more dangerous than the bull. Instead of the brave toreador, he saw only a single pitiful lady, quivering in fear, a lost soul begging the world to be rescued.

An Abbot had his duty. The Dzierżonióvian Order bequeathed him a legacy that he must uphold.

And in an honor only found in those souls that are both pious and sure in their ways, he stood to rise against the danger. The Padre quickly had brought his apple to his hand, ripped away the rotten piece, and threw the latter towards the foul beast as to draw its attention away from the Gentildonna.

"Come and eat this, foul demon! Begone! Retreat to the darkest depths of hell and scurry away from the Lord's light and all the souls He loves!"

Now the Padre started to tense his muscles, take slow and decisive steps as he began to chant the Litany of the Saints.

"Kyrie eleison. Christe eleison. Kyrie eleison."

His steps started to speed up as to intercept the dark demon.

"Christe audi nos."

He passed by the innocent Tailor and called upon God to the strength he would need.

"Pater de caelis, Deus. Fili, redemptor mundi, Deus. Spiritus Sancte, Deus. Sancta Trinitas, unus Deus."

Now he would meet the demon head on, like the brave toreador before him. He called upon the virginal Mary to grant him protection.

"Sancta Maria. Sancta Dei Genetrix. Sancta Virgo vírginum."

And he faced the beast.

"Um...." the Miller watches in shock for a moment.

Inspired by the Abbot, Eugenio screams at the top of his lungs and makes the most bizarre faces he can muster. Upon nearing the beast, he reaches into his pants, which had previously been weighed down by a smelly load upon seeing the beast. 

Heaving as much human shit as he can muster, Eugenio says a prayer again and throws the lump at the beast before rubbing his soiled hands together and curling them into fists. 

With one more bloodcurdling cry he charges the man eater. 

 

Chivalry Is Not Dead

The beast roared and charged into the Tailor knocking all the wind out of her before it began trying to rip her completely apart. The Miller and Abbot were both dumb struck by this incident and stood in shock for a moment before attempting to help the Tailor from certain death.

Both the Abbot and Miller suffered a few wounds themselves before they finally managed to get the beast off of the severely wounded Tailor. Perhaps regretting his his less friendly prayer earlier, the Miller fought the beast the hardest and impaled the thing in the heart with one of the nearby bones, killing it.

Meanwhile the Bishop had stood back in the shadows observing all this and contemplating philosophical matters.

You that participated in battle can choose to search if you want or not. After this choice, decide who is going to take lead and move on.

Eugenio will search the area for anything helpful.

"I believe the Bishop should take the lead now," he says, "may his prayers and musings offer him the clairvoyance to get us out of this mess."

"How do you fare, gentildonna, can you walk?" the Padre asked while carefully pushing the worst of the bleeding sites shut. He shuddered to remember the battle at Aleo, where soldiers had died of less.

After the first aid has been performed, the Abbot looked towards the demon's lair. He needed something to bandage the wounds and a splint for the broken and contused bones.

"Keep pressure on those wounds. I'll be right back, I promise."

"Ugh," she groans. It would seem that she isn't quite as independent as I thought. She says I silent prayer to whatever vastard god saved her. Once her wounds heal enough she searches the area

Who Needs Enemies?

The Abbot couldn’t find anything that would bind her wounds, so he gave the Tailor his half rotten apple to eat, it wasn’t much but it would at least keep some of her strength up. He then said some prayers.

The Tailor would have rather he had something more to give her than spoiled fruit and prayers, but it was about the best she was going to get from him. Indeed if she was ever going to be a strong independent woman, she couldn’t give into despair and hope a man would take care of her. Picking herself up, she went and searched through the bodies in the beasts lair and found a bottle with unknown liquid.

(Once again not completely being a strong independent woman yet, she asked the Abbot what it was at which point he told her it was an elixir of insight)

The Miller also searched the beast’s lair, but found nothing. He wasn’t deterred though and got the cunning idea that this creature probably ate many people. People that carried things on them.

Obviously if he searched in the beast’s shit he would find something valuable!

The Miller being no stranger to getting dirty when he needed to began to search every large pile of waste on the ground.

Unfortunately, his idea resulted in nothing but smelly irritated plague ridden hands, though given that he’d already handled his own shit recently, it wasn’t like they smelled much worse.

The Bishop sensing everything was calm again and that God had once again protected his most devoted servant, at last emerged from the shadows.

Going to post a stat/inventory update and then you can move on to the next encounter.

Lmao 

Abbot

Life - 10

Plague - 3

Carrying nothing

Bishop

Life - 12

Plague - 2

Carrying a Partially Rotten Apple. Can be used to heal.

Miller

Life - 9

Plague - 5

Carrying a Brew of Might. Can be used to enhance Might.

Tailor

Life - 7

Plague - 4

Carrying an Elixir of Insight. Can be used in combat.

Also carrying Liquid Luck. Can be used in several situations.

(Can't carry anymore)

Seeing as everyone was tired and slow moving from the battle with the beast, it was decided that the Bishop take point. Everyone was a little annoyed with him anyway.

The group moved through the tunnel without any issues other than it being incredibly dark. Though there was a faint light up ahead. The Bishop always one to follow the light thought nothing of heading in its direction.

As they got closer, it was obvious that it was torchlight. The natural cavern area they had just come from was once again turning back into man made walls. It would appear that they were still in the dark castle.

Eventually the tunnel ended at a door and the group entered…

“I WAS ON BREAK DAMN IT!”

You can either run or fight him. If you stick around to fight, you can of course search afterwards.

Make your choices and assuming you all survive, decide who will take point and move on to the next encounter.

Just gotta say, Ninja's posts have pretty much all been solid gold.

"Ah well fuck this!" She runs away. "I'm already injured from the other fight, and I'm not the strongest. I'm sure you men will handle it!" She calls out as she runs.

This may be against her nature, but it would seem her encounter with death has made her much more willing to let others do the dirty work. That and the fucking bishop hid lasttime. .

Alright, time to take this guys lunch money.

Eugenio is surprised at the willingness of the Bishop to fight this demented fellow.

Some open palmed slapping with his shit hands should do the trick. Next step will be to try to wrench that knife from the guys hands.

But some psychological warfare may be needed.

Eugenio whips his dick out as he charges the man, dick flapping around as he does so.

Padre Augustino had the last few encounters to get a better impression of his fellow inmates.

"No," he corrected himself. "Not inmates, escapees."

He had to admit that the Bishop disappointed him. The things the Dzierżonióvian Order valued the most: honesty, humbleness, courage, and fairness were all found in the man he first judged to be the most lost soul. The Miller had stood by his fellow escapees, fought to defend the weak, and was upright in his dealings. His piety did not show in his appearance but shone brightly in his acts and reverberated in his heart.

The Bishop he discerned, was none of those things. He held on to his possessions, valuing his own flesh above the fellow creatures of God, hid treacherously, and now seemed more than eager to initiate aggression against a fellow man. He was a cowardly man, a man that used the holy cloth to better himself, rather than represent God. He was a hypocrite, and the Padre detested hypocrites.

And so the Abbot joined the Miller with a weary heart. He would die to defend the man he disdained. He would die to protect his Order's honor.

Hostile Work Environment

The Bishop wasted no time in engaging the angry guard and the Miller and Abbot joined in. Not wishing to be part of this display of macho dick waving (Literally in the case of the Miller) the Tailor decided to step back and rest up.

While the Tailor watched the scuffle ensue, she half thought that she might have to join in to help, because despite it being three on one, the guard was doing very well. Then again he was only fighting two fat middle aged men and one deranged man who was attempting to use his own penis as a weapon.

The three of them had been stabbed more than a couple times, but eventually the Miller did enough damage with his fists causing the guard to fall to one knee. A kick to his face then knocked him over completely.

The Abbot and Bishop at this point both took a short run and jumped on the prone guard, crushing his ribs and his internal organs as the weight of the big men took their toll. They continued to jump up and down on the guard until his insides were smooshed to a point he had blood coming out of his mouth and rectum.

The guard died cursing that he should have listened to his wife and spent time with the kids instead of coming into work today with his final breath.

Now that the battle is over, the three combatants can either choose to search or move on. 

Also choose who is going to lead next.

The Miller will search.

He will also try to heal some of his wounds

He also volunteers to take the lead, then puts his dick away

 

"Well done, good Miller. That's the second danger you have dispatched. You'll make a renowned warrior when we finally get free from this damned place."

Meanwhile, the Padre knelt before the guard and started praying for his soul, pointedly ignoring the Bishop. The man's soul was tormented, and the latter 'holy' man had only given him anguish instead of salvation. Padre Augustino deeply regretted the faith the man had been locked into.

Feeling satisfied the man had ventured past this world accompanied by mercy and love, the Padre stood up to inspect the room closer. The group bore many wounds now, and he knew these punctures would only worsen the Plague they had already contacted. He needed anything that would give the group an advantage in their next encounter. He knew by now the escape would be hard and trying, testing all their faiths and stretching it to the limit.

Lmao

No faith in your medieval crackhead?

He will deliver you from harm, just stand out of the way if his dick flail

She will let the miller take the lead.

The Abbot and Bishop both searched the break room and found something that could be expected in such a place, namely food. The Abbot found another half rotten apple while the Bishop found a stale loaf of bread.

The Miller searched as well, but as always was looking in the wrong places. He grabbed a foul smelling pot and saw nine day old porridge. It was black and green and infested with worms, but the Miller was so hungry he tried a bite of it ignoring the Abbot’s advice against the contrary claiming he had a cast iron stomach.

He really shouldn’t have since while he might have had a cast iron stomach, he didn’t have a cast iron mouth and these particular worms bit back. The Miller angrily chomped down hard on the vicious annelids and spat out what was left. While in the scheme of things the bites weren’t bad, who knows what the hell they were carrying.

The Abbot shook his head and told the Miller to put down the rotten porridge then tossed him the half rotten apple as he certainly needed it more than he did and it wasn’t wormy (Well these worms didn’t have teeth at least). The Miller ate the apple (rotten bits and all) and thanked the Abbot before exclaiming he was taking point and walked out the room.

The group went down another corridor…

“At least it wasn’t my dick.” Eugenio, looking on the bright side of things.

The group cautiously advanced down the passage and find a man’s body riddled with arrows. Looked like an adventurer, there was no sign of the attackers though.

You can choose to search the body or not and then you can choose who will take lead before moving on to the next encounter.

"Get down!" Padre Augustino hissed.

He did not know if they had walked into a trap or an ambush. The dead man before him looked fresh still. He was probably left there as bait, drawing stumped onlookers out into the open, right in the crosshairs of their bows.

But the Padre still desired that sword. Greed intertwined with his survival instincts, both demanding he would face the next monster armed with steel instead of the rotten part of his apples.

And so the Padre crouched towards the corpse, sticking to the ground and walls like a fresh lover. He would try to pull the body towards him instead of going out there. He would try to pull the arm.

"I'll scout ahead, follow thirty paces behind. Gentildonna, I see you're still young and your eyes are still fresh, untainted by the age. Please keep firm watch on that darkness ahead of us."

He turned towards his target and quickly added, "Oh, and we've come full circle. It's my turn to venture deeper into the castle hereafter."

"Guys, I think I have a splinter." 

Eugenio wishes he had opium.

He will search the body, and take the helmet while remaining very low to the ground.

"Does anyone know how to treat arrow wounds?" Eugenio pokes his new souvenir

 

Oh my goodness.

"I'm not searching that! I'm, strong and independent and I don't need no items off a man!"

The Abbot and Miller who had started to bond (Perhaps the only two in this group) searched the dead adventurer. 

The Abbot found an infested cheese wheel. At first he was going to throw it away, but the Miller quickly said that it was SUPPOSED to have maggot in it. It was made that way and the maggots gave the cheese extra protein which was a good thing to keep everyone’s strength up!

The Abbot wasn’t quite convinced especially since he’d just advised the Miller against eating wormy porridge, but he kept it anyway. Maybe if they got desperate they could eat it.

The Miller found something a little more unusual, a blue shard shaped vaguely like a primitive stone dagger. It had a strange symbol embedded into it and was most certainly magic as it faintly glowed. 

It seemed to draw on the Miller’s anger of being imprisoned in this place. The Miller took a couple of swings with it on the helmet he picked up and being surprised to see it cut right through the metal.

Please with his find he tossed the now destroyed helmet away and gripped his new weapon as tightly as he would grip his dick.

The group moved on with the Abbot leading the way through the dimly lit corridors.

They hadn’t gotten far when a loud galloping noise was heard advancing quickly from behind them, followed by an even louder deep voice.

“ARISE BLOODHORN IRONHOOF, YOUR KILLERS ARE HERE!”

BLOODHORN 2: THE REVENGE!

You can either fight or run from the undead beast. Anyone staying to fight can search afterwards as usual. Running allows you to avoid combat and rest.

In the chance that everyone runs, the undead beast WILL chase you and a cunning test will have to be taken by everyone to see if you escape or if it catches up to one of you. Whoever it catches will have to fight alone (But can search if they survive)

Make your choices.

Feeling responsible for killing it, Eugenio is determined to kill it again.

Praying to the crackhead gods, he kisses the flat of his dagger blade. Then whips out his flesh dagger.

"In the name of all that is....uhhh....hmm...huh..."

Eugenio takes the dagger into both hands and charges the foul thing, screaming bizarre obscenities and sexual threats to the beasts mother.

Eugenio Costanza utters a prayer as he swings upon the bloodhorn. 

"AYIEAYIEAYIEAYIEAYIEAYIEAYIE!" his screams fill the area.

Padre Augustino was pissed. Bishop Bacco turned more into the face for the church's corruption every day, and his remarks crawled under the Abate's skin. His self-absorbed arrogance would spell the doom of this escape. The man would rather have the group knelt in death than be forced to bow himself. So much for a man of God.

And now he also faced this undead abortion with a cheesy maggot in the sharp sword's stead. That definitely soured his mood.

Chastising himself for letting his wrath take over, the Padre joined his brave compatriot in the upcoming battle. He joined the cacophony with the following psalm, inspiring valor and piety in the good Lord's servants, and terror in the undead monstrosity.

"Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling. Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him!"

It's about time she shows her independence. So in a swift action she downs her potion of luck, and shouts "By the power of plot armor I will vanquish you!"

Miller’s Crossing (Over)

The group for once stuck together and all fought this undead horror for there was no use in trying to outrun it.

The Miller as usual was the first one to jump into the thick of combat wildly swing his new found weapon. The Abbot, Bishop and Tailor weren’t far behind. One of the difficulties in fighting the creature was it seemed to regenerate. The moment they shattered a limb, or splintered its bones, they would start knitting back together. The Miller’s shard seemed to be doing it’s work to counteract the dark magic however.

The undead beast struck all of them viciously with its bony claws causing many severe wounds. The Miller in particular was catching the brunt of it, potentially because he was in the front and not bothering to protect himself properly though partially because despite it being a mostly mindless dead thing only held together by necromancy, it remembered which one in the group had landed the killing blow on it the first time.

Heavily wounded, the Miller landed a strike against the bestial skull, shattering most of it and causing it to reel back a bit and then collapsing into a heap. 

It was a tough battle, but the group had seemingly overcome it. The Miller turned to his fellows and raised his arms in victory. The Abbot smiled at his comrade in arms and even the Bishop nodded respectfully, appreciating that all of God’s creatures seem to have their use.

The Tailor however noticed the pile of bones twitching, the beast wasn’t dead yet! She screamed at the Miller to watch out, and he turned back to the pile of bones which had animated one last time to swing a claw at the Miller’s head, taking it clean off, killing him instantly.

The Abbot shouted out and quickly grabbed the shard which the now dead Miller dropped and began smashing what remained of the undead beast’s skull. The Bishop and Tailor both helped in putting the horror down for good.

Eventually nothing but mostly bone fragments were left, but the damage had been done and Bloodhorn had indeed gotten his revenge.

Eugenio Costanza The Miller

Decapitated by Vengeful Undead Minotaur

Survival Time: 5 Encounters

Can someone carry my head around please.

I need to get out of here somehow

Now I really wish I could have kept that helmet lol

P.S can someone tuck my dick back in for me?

F

"Rest now, brave soldier," the Abbot said to the Miller's heads as he knelt in prayer. They had both fought to defend their comrades and thus earned themselves a spot in heaven near Elijah himself.

"Now I know you'd ask of me to take you with me on your journey, to let your bodily remains rise beyond this dark abyss much as your soul will. In this one last wish, you will find me a faithful servant. May God's blessing be upon you."

He put down his wheel of cheese, ate a double ration of it, one for his fallen friend, and invited the two remaining compatriots to join him in this small moment of remembrance.

"Eugenio Constanza was unlike his manners suggested, one of a noble spirit. He gave his life so we could move on. I fear, even if we survive this dark dungeon, the void he has left in our hearts will never be filled again. So please partake in his spoils and live life to the fullest, ever thankful for his sacrifice, as to not let it be in vain."

After a period of shared reflection, Padre Augustino stood up, took the Miller's severed head, and followed the Bishop towards another encounter, another round full of strife and hurt.

"Welp just one less sasauge. Let's get a move on. I don't feel like searching."

Yes?

Abbot

Life - 6

Plague - 3

Carrying The Fury Shard (Weapon)

Also Infested Cheese Wheel (Can heal everyone in the group)

Bishop

Life - 6

Plague - 2

Carrying Partially Rotten Apple (Can heal one person)

Also Stale Loaf of Bread (Can heal one person)

Tailor

Life - 9

Plague - 4

Carrying Brew of Might (Helps with Might)

Also Elixir of Insight (Can be used in battle)

With the loss of the Miller, a few prayers were said by the Abbot while sharing the maggoty cheese to his comrade. He then found the Miller’s head and took it with him.

The Bishop ate his bread (with the maggot cheese) and searched through what was left of the pile of bones, wondering if there wasn’t a large one he couldn’t use as a make shift weapon. 

When he touched a piece of the broken skull however, he suddenly felt a darkness and quickly pulled his hand back. When the others asked what was wrong he snapped at them, saying he was find, but he wasn’t.

Whatever dark magic that was involved in raising the beast back from the dead still lingered in the bones and when the Bishop had touched the skull, part of that magic had infused into him.

Already feeding on his more negative traits, his need to cause violence began to rise within him.

The Bishop has been CURSED

What this basically means is the Bishop is ALWAYS going to attack when there’s an option to do so, he’ll never hang back to rest or run unless he deliberately hurts himself to quell the rage. Of course this will result in a loss of life though.

The group lead by the Bishop moved down the corridors until they heard arguing, but they couldn’t make out what it was about. Under normal circumstances, the group might have tried to avoid something like this, but when the Bishop heard arguing he followed the source and hoped it would escalate into something worse.

His hopes came true when they discovered the source of the arguing…

‘Hey look at those two fat bastards, we could eat for months!”

The cannibals quickly kill the captive man and move towards the group.

You can either fight or run (Though in the Bishop’s case he can either fight or hurt himself)

Afterwards you can choose to search or not and pick who will take point.

Looking at the cannibals, and then at the group, the Abbot couldn't help but scold the tasteless cannibals, "You should know it is never proper to comment on a Gentildonna's weight."

Now there were two of them, both holding daggers that would overwhelm a single opponent. Padre Augustino knew his Bishop needed help and was more than willing to jump in the breach.

While advancing to the thug who looked most dangerous, the Abbot began to lecture the cannibals.

"In stead of defiling your souls eating human meat, look towards God. Such a meal will provide succor for a week and yet will doom you for eternity.

There is still hope, my children. Show remorse, profess your sins for the Light. Be a better man!"

"Heh, have fun with that. I'm not going to become the meal of some fucking sausages!" She runs

Cannibal Holocaust

The Bishop feeling the anger overtake him, he jumped into battle fully intending on delivering God’s justice in the form of a fist. A hit to their eyes and shove it down their throats. Oh he’d fist them all right. He’d fist them elbows deep if necessary.

The Abbot on the other hand attempted to temper justice with God’s mercy, hoping that the cannibals might see reason. Sadly, it didn’t seem they did, but he held out hope that maybe, just maybe they might at least repent before dying.

Though for a moment, one wondered if it would be the cannibals or the Abbot and Bishop would be meeting their God first. The battle was bloody and vicious with the pair of them taking many dagger slashes and taunts.

“Slice that pig and slice him thick! Squeal like a pig, porky! Squee! Squee!” 

Eventually though the Bishop landed a haymaker on one of the cannibals, knocking him out. He then followed up by stomping his skull ensuring he would never wake up.

The Abbot struggled with his own foe, but the Bishop moved behind the cannibal and snapped his neck, sending another before God.

The battle was won, but at a high cost. The pair of them were severely wounded and the Tailor had run off and hid again when her help would have come in somewhat handy even if she was just a woman.

The Bishop and Abbot can search if they want, (And heal if able) afterwards decide on who will take point and move on to the next encounter.

It was a close battle, the closest thus far. The Abbot panted heavily, feeling both remorse and triumph at vanquishing the two thugs. It was a hard-fought victory, and after a moment, the Padre looked towards his left, eager to see the big grin of the Miller.

That small hope shattered when all he saw was empty air. The team of two and a fat bastard had become a team of one and a fat bastard. It was only a few hours he accompanied the fallen member. And yet in those hours, he saw Eugenio transform himself into something most couldn't achieve in a lifetime. They had fought together, bled, and laughed.

Now Augustino stood alone, surrounded by death, his severed head at his waist, now wettened by a tear.

The Padre had lead many lost souls through their grief. But now the hurt felt that much closer. He knew most denied their pain, forced by it to deny reality, and felt his own mind do the same. The Abbot welcomed the reprieve. It was his bastion of happiness within a dark dungeon. As the gears of his head shifted, he saw the world in a better light.

He couldn't let go.

"So, old friend, I reckon we have to find something among these remains. It would be a shame if we both never saw the light."

It helped. Talking helped. The sounds out of his throat dispelled the illusion.

"Yes. I know it's dangerous, especially with the Bishop just being cursed. But you never shied away from danger, did you? You fought it until you're stuck there. Who knows? Maybe there's some magic for you too. That dagger you lent me was magical, after all."

If the Padre intensely focussed, he could hear his friend speaking back.

"Are you really sure about that? Would you trust her to do that? Yes, you're right. If the Gentildonna leads, she won't run away. She has seen you fight, right? She has a good example."

And so a broken and blooded Abbot turned towards the Tailor with a big smile on his face, oblivious there was anything uncanny going on.

"If you would, please? Show an old man the way, for he is weary and weak."

The Bishop was about to take point, when suddenly the Tailor shoved him aside and took the lead. Even the Abbot was surprised that his words swayed her to do so as she had not done much of anything that wasn’t in her own self interest for the most part.

The Bishop was angered that he was pushed aside by this WOMAN. He had to do everything in his power to not murder her. He deftly pinched some of the fat on his body hard so as to temporarily redirect his fury.

The group continued down the corridor and opened the door to a seemingly empty chamber.

They walked in…

“SURPRISE REAP, BITCHES!”

Well as usual you have the option of running or fighting. (Or hurting yourself so you can run)

And also as usual, you can choose to search after the fight.

Make your choices

"A bitch to kill!"

After the fight Cassandra will search.

I can't stop laughing.

I will miss all this gay degeneracy.

The Abbot was exhausted. His posture slumped, bringing his eyes closer to Eugenio hanging from his belt. He saw his own eyes reflected in his, a stagnant and deathly aura surrounding both.

"Don't look so smug, old friend. From your position, you can rest comfortably," the Padre laughed. "I'd almost be jealous."

A small moment of silence passed until the Abbot renewed the conversation. "I know. It is lonely and monotonous. It was only a joke, my friend. At the very least, we need my tired legs to bring us to freedom."

Another moment passed. "Don't say that! Even if the Reaper himself knocked on the door, I wouldn't sell you out. You're staying right by my side."

Then the air went cold. An apparition rose from the ground, causing the Abbot to make frenetic pious gestures. It looked and felt like the Reaper, as if summoned by his words.

"I'll protect you, my friend! I won't let him take you!" Augustino yelled, falling back in a panic. He continued making a cross with both hands.

For Whom The Bell Tolls

The Bishop and Tailor (after downing a potion) immediately attacked the specter who seemed a little taken off guard that not everyone was running in terror with his grim reaper schtick. (Like the Abbot for example)

This initial act of aggressive worked well in the beginning of the battle, massively damaging the specter, but then the battle turned.

Casting whatever unholy aura the specter had, the Tailor was suddenly overcome by overwhelming terror making her attacks completely ineffective. Indeed the only thing she could do was defend herself when she was able.

The Bishop motivated not just his unnatural fury, but also by his faith, continued to attack the specter, but it was much more difficult now that he was alone in fighting it. The specter landed many slicing strikes on the Bishop while mocking him at every turn. Every scythe hit felt like it was literally aging him 

The Bishop nearly met his God right there, but this battle would not yet be the time as he landed a last holy fist on the specter sending it back to whatever hell it came from, disappearing and leaving only its scythe to fall to the ground.

The Tailor recovered from her terror long enough to search except there wasn’t much to search except the scythe the specter left, she curiously picked it up believing it would be a good weapon.

Suddenly the scythe began to sap her strength causing her to drop it and the Bishop calling her a foolish woman for picking it up in the first place.

The scythe then unleashed one last unholy blast before disappearing with its owner. causing a decaying effect on all in the area. The Abbot who had been hiding and resting, suddenly felt his own energy being drain and saw his weapon crumble.

The Tanner saw her other potion crumble before her eyes and then her attention turned to the Bishop who was already suffering from severe wounds. He was now very gaunt and old to the point of almost being unrecognizable, he gasped and his now withered hand clutched at his heart.

“Just like Adam, done in because of a woman’s stupidity.” he gasped and then died as he lived, with both fists still balled up.

Bacco The Bishop

Accelerated Decay by Curse

Survival Time: 7 Encounters

Oops!

Cassandra, as far as she could recall, had just met both of these men. Still she was shaken by the turn the fight had taken, and its outcome which was in no way related to her actions. And a little upset she didn't get the cool scythe.

"The only one with any spirit for fighting had to be the one that didn't make it..." she sighed. Not acknowledging the cowering Abbot she turned and started off down the hall. He could follow or not, as far as she was concerned it didn't matter.

The Abbot left his strategic position even more exhausted than he entered it. Still, the loss so soon after the first called him to rise. He felt the whispers of this dark place; the remnants from a multitude of souls were finally freed. He needed to ward them off, but not before he picked the Bishops from the incorporeal mob. As much as he despised the man, he couldn't leave him here to suffer.

"Fool!" he hissed at the Tailor. The first encounter she decided to help, she had doomed the group. Meanwhile, he severed Bacco's head much the same way it was done with the Miller's. The disappearance of his weapon required him to use a sharpened rock.

"Be quiet, you two! We need to work together to survive both the dungeon and her. Start strategizing instead of your headless bickering."

Moments and several comments later, the Abbot joined the Tailor, now with two heads just below his double beard. He seemed conflicted, as if multiple viewpoints battled for supremacy.

We're now a pair of lunatics for some other group to encounter.

With the Tailor seemingly embracing her new aggressive approach to escape the Group of two pressed on, or four if you counted the Abbot’s descent into madness with carrying around the heads of his fallen comrades.

The two passed through a section that looked like in was heading into another cellblock, but they had to press onward anyway…

“FINISH THEM OFF SO THAT THEY MAY JOIN YOU IN DEATH!"

This is going to be a fight no matter what, it just depends on your tactics.

You can either just charge right at them or lure them out one at a time.

Assuming you survive, you can decide to search or not and decide who will take point.

Make your choices.

"Death has chased us, no doubt following the stench of that cursed weapon!" the Abbot yelled enraged. He felt the others agree.

"No, my friend, we can't just charge in. You wouldn't want me laying next to you for eternity, would you?" he continued to mutter in a now-familiar fashion. "And no one asked you anything, Bacco! Wait. I did ask you something. You say we have to act as bait?"

The Abbot's mad eyes widened even further to inhuman proportions as the magnitude of the sacrifice seeped in his disgruntled brain.

"I would rather die than leave you both!"

His left arm now moved to his belt, quickly obstructed by his right. Three minds were fighting for control over just one pair of arms. Then his legs started to twitch forward, much like those of an animal caged too long.

"Don't force me to do this. Not you too."

The legs started to tremble, and his face turned to chalk. The Abbot buckled forward and hit the ground, only to jump up in the air again.

"Thank you."

It seemed the meeting calmed down. The Abbot now wholly turned to the skeletons.

"There were three of them, and three of us. If I throw you, Bacco, you would surely pass your curse towards your one victim, enraging it much as it enraged you. After the Gentildonna and I finish it, you, Eugenio, will lure the second one. Then finally, I'll throw myself at the last skeleton."

"I'll search for something to better fasten you afterward. I guess some food wouldn't hurt either."

Stale Loaves & No Fishes

The Tailor engaged the skeletons by trying to handle them one at a time, but the zealousness of the Abbot put a crimp in that strategy, before you knew it, it was a mass of bones and flesh fighting in a life and death struggle.

The skeletons did their best in trying to get the escapees to join them in death, but despite the many wounds suffered by the Tailor (and the Abbot) eventually they shattered their foes to the point of being a useless pile of bones.

A quick search of the cell resulted in each finding a stale loaf of bread. Much needed after what they just faced.

Decide who is going to take point (or if you’re going to heal now) and move on to the next encounter.

The Abbot pounced on the bread, uncaring for any spillage as he devoured the loaf whole.

"What are you looking at! You don't need this, Eugenio! You only have a head, after all, can't get too hungry from that. Regardless, you didn't do so good last encounter. And you, Bacco, you have enough reserves on your cheeks to last the three of us."

Then the old man seemed to temper his outburst, falling to his knees and picking every speck. Some he ate himself; others he gave to his two companions. He couldn't stay mad at them.

"That's actually a pretty solid insight. Thank you, my friend," Augustino remarked, now unfazed as his eyes leveled with the Tailor. "There are more wounds on me than on our Gentildonna. I also carry our group's most prized possessions and- What do you say? Ah yes. It's now three votes against one, and we won't be the ones moving first."

The Tailor was just as annoyed by the Abbot as he was with her, with neither taking the lead. The pair of them eventually got going again by walking in perfect unison down the corridor which was just wide enough to allow this.

Eventually the corridor ended…

“Oh great. I hope the fat one isn’t going to try to climb on us.”

Decide which order you’re going before making a might test to see if you succeed in making it up the wall. Failing of course leads to falling until you succeed.

Or you could turn back, but that will add more encounters to the deck.

Makes your choices and decide who will take point next before moving on to the next encounter.

Cassandra limps up to the barrier of bones, looks at it, then at the Abbot who is clearly and obviously in better health than she is before brushing disdainfully past him.

"If I fall at least your fat ass will provide some cushioning...." she mutters before beginning to climb.

Before the caution of Bacco moved the Abbot, but now the wild fury of Eugenio coursed through his veins. He jumped after the Tailor, straining his body to reach the end before she did.

He would take point in the next encounter.

The Abbot let the Tailor go first as he could easily catch her if she did fall.

Unfortunately while she may have been thinner than him, that didn’t mean she was exactly light. The first time she fell off, he caught her, but nearly fell himself in the process and cut himself on the sharp bones.

It only got worse from there. She fell repeatedly and he wasn’t always able to catch her as effectively causing both of them to fall to the floor and start all over again.

By the time the Tailor did manage to get to the top, the Abbot was badly cut and bruised. His own attempts at scaling the wall now were met with failure, at one point he thought he was going to die, and he nearly did, but a couple of prayers and his faith got him through (and a surge of adrenaline)

The Tailor didn’t even ask if he was okay, she just wondered what took him so long. The Abbot didn’t even want to argue with the woman at this point, he was too wounded and tired. He just shoved her aside and moved on ahead.

The group of two proceeded into an area filled with large stone sarcophaguses. It was nerve racking just to walk through given all the undead they had encountered, but then the Abbot spied something intriguing on the lid of one…

“Why the hell did you wake me up for you fat bastard?”

You can either fight or flee. Keep in mind if you both flee that’s not an automatic escape and cunning tests will be involved. 

Fighting of course allows you to search if you want.

Make your choices and assuming you survive, pick who will take point and move on to the next encounter.

Cassandra turns and runs, hoping the much fatter, slower, and now very scraped and bruised Abbot will distract the fearsome skeleton knight he so idiotically awoke. She frankly wasn't sure she could deliver enough force behind a punch to break it apart through its armor even if she wanted to.

The Abbot jumped back in surprise. Once again, he stood face to face with death, only now nearer to it than ever. He turned around, ready to run, but stopped at the last moment.

"What the hell am I doing? Who have I become?"

He looked down at his two fallen friends and whispered them goodbye. As he looked into those lifeless eyes, he couldn't hear their voices. At death's door, the Abbot regained his composure. He straightened his battered back and tensed his fatigued muscles.

"Run, Cassandra! Run, and I'll hold him off for as long as I can!"

He would earn himself a spot near his companions. Eugenio fell, and Bacco fell; they were slain in battle, fighting for those that depended on them. Padre Augustino would fall too. He was sure of it. He only wished for his end to reflect his life before madness got the better of him.

God Calls Another One Home

The Abbot had already made his peace with God and charged at the Death Knight recklessly (just like the Miller did) leading with a strong fist (just like the Bishop did).

He landed a punch right in the fleshless face of the Death Knight, who then promptly slashed the Abbot’s belly open releasing all the contents within.

The Abbot felt himself at last going home, fell on top of his squishy innards and died. (Just like the Miller & Bishop did)

Padre Augustino The Abbot

Eviscerated by Death Knight

Survival Time: 10 Encounters

The Tailor ran away from crypts as fast as she could leaving the Abbot to his unsurprising fate. Even in the last moments of the Abbot exclaiming loudly for her to run, she couldn’t help but still not feel any empathy for the man.

She didn’t feel much for any of the group that died since she escaped. Of course she was on her own now and the reality of that was starting to sink in as she moved along…

“You’re alone? You might need some help from this group I just left, assuming they’re all still alive of course."

Besides the helpful apparition showing you the concealed stash, she offers to direct you towards G2 where you can meet up with them.

Of course G2 still has more encounters to go, so you’d be extending your escape time.

Make your choices.

Finally, a stroke of luck!

Something seemed oddly familiar about the helpful spirit, but Cassandra's memory just ran into some weird fog every time she tried to think past the seizure she'd had not too long ago. Not that there'd been much time for thinking.

"You have no idea how glad I am to get a breather," she told the spirit, curiously prying whatever the item was from it's hiding place. "And you say there are other escapees here? Sure, I'll follow you to them." Not that she was overly fond of company, but the more people soaking up attacks the better. And surely they couldn't be worse than the bearded one constantly talking to the heads he carried around.

New Beginnings

The Tailor pondered her choice and took the spirit up on her offer. She'd have a better chance at surviving this place with more warm bodies to hide behind.

The Tailor gathered up the Liquid Luck potion and Rotten Wooden Shield and followed the spirit.

After a series of twists and turns into what looked to be a much older (and crumbling state) part of the DARK CASTLE, eventually spirit pointed down a long corridor.

"I sense that they're down this way. Yes, and they're all still alive. Just head down there and you'll meet up. I'm sure they'll be happy for the extra help. I'm not sure if they're going to be entirely happy with me given how I left them the last time, but hopefully when they see I brought help, they won't be too angry. Come on."

The spirit proceeded forward and the Tailor followed to meet her new group...

Group 3's attempts to ESCAPE THE DARK CASTLE have ended here.