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ANOTHER SHORT STORY (The person I seek)

7 months ago
"It has been a lot of minutes since I last saw you. Lots of minutes of a cool breeze with large trees that I stare at, but it feels so... Empty. Without you to help me.

The last time I saw you, it was a good time. We would play, have pillow fights, and stuff. Then, you suddenly disappeared. You just faded away in a small blink. I don't know why, I don't know how.

I have been waiting for lots of minutes now... Lots of hours now... But there's no hope. You're never coming back. You're just gone. I've been lying on my two arms for a while now, just looking at nature, but it still feels like an empty room. Nothing inside."

Then, a ball of light appeared in front of the speaker.

"Is that it? Is that the light I seek? Will it become you, the person I've been waiting for so long? Please... I need answers... This ball MUST contain you, or else I'll be empty inside for many years to come until you come back some other time."

The ball of light morphs into a human-like figure. Then fades into color, resembling the person that the speaker was waiting for.

"And that's it... The person I seek... The person I want... The person I need... The person is here. I'm no longer cold and empty inside. I feel... Filled. Again. Thank you."

The end.

This is a piece of fiction.

ANOTHER SHORT STORY (The person I seek)

7 months ago

This is a piece of fiction 

ANOTHER SHORT STORY (The person I seek)

7 months ago

No way! Say it isn't so!

ANOTHER SHORT STORY (The person I seek)

7 months ago
and stuff

ANOTHER SHORT STORY (The person I seek)

7 months ago
Sorry I was gone so long, I had to take a wicked dump

ANOTHER SHORT STORY (The person I seek)

7 months ago

I would guess an addendum should read:

This is not a piece of fiction.

ANOTHER SHORT STORY (The person I seek)

7 months ago
This is another garbage dump

ANOTHER SHORT STORY (The person I seek)

7 months ago

It's certainly very emotive. The concern I would have as a reader is why I should care about the protagonist. The struggle of finding and maintaining companionship is very real. However, the lack of setup undermines the intention of the story. There isn't much to develop the characters. I understand the purpose of the story is brevity, but there's still room for more prose. The ending line is a bit redundant. As you can see, it has invited a bit of sarcasm. Is it an illustrative analogy for someone close in relation suddenly disappearing and reappearing in a person's life? Are the random elements of the disappearance and the ball of light part of that possible analogy? These questions make the delivery of the monologue seem a bit mawkish.