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Even though zombies are never going to exist, I want to hear everyones plans for if there was a ZA.

My plan is to fly to Dalma Island with a bunch of survivors and supplies. There we would try to fortify a place there and eventually clear the entire island of zombies.

Study magic, become the world's first and most powerful wizard. 

What? It's as likely as a zombie apocalypse. 

Good point.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html

Uh, how would you do that?

Oh, and I would try to build a colony. I'd try to find a radio and broadcast my location to try and contact survivors. I would try to plant crops and build a water filtration system.

Where would you get survivors from?

Where would you get supplies from?

How do you plan to fly there if zombies are causing panic everywhere?

Seems like a pretty poorly thought out plan lol.

That was my question...

To Answer the above:

Surrounding areas.

My neighborhood.

I have a plane I'm buying next week.

It actually is a little poor, considering the population of the island is 4,800-5,000 people.

Stay at home, continue living life as necessary. Zombies are the weakest enemies ever falsely depicted as dangerous, them being a threat to a human is complete bull-shittery.

They're slow, probably can't make it over a curb, have no coordination, and can be very easily killed. Also, they are rotting corpses, they will die very quickly on their own.

If things get dire, stay at home for a month or two, by that time, depending on the humidity of where you live, those zombie bodies would be so damaged that they might as well have died.

They are dead.

Shhhhh

Although I feel like an idiot for arguing this, it really matters on the lore of zombies.

Omega Man zombies are faster and stronger than humans (similar to vampires), others are lethargic walking piles of flesh.

It really depends on the type of zombies seeing as each film has there own type. But in my eye generally the government would hear and stomp it out.

i would hide out in my house and just work in my garden.

What does the government have to do with zombies?

The government has plenty to do with any debate concerning zombies. Most people agree that zombism would stem from a virus... and disease control and quarantine? Yeah, that involves the government, as does using military power to take down a crowd of rotting undeads.

But ignoring that, there are plenty of other reasons the zombies are doomed to failure. My favorite reason? Involves them exploding via their own decay. That would just be so much fun to watch...

http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

The only zombies that matter are the source zombies, from the very first zombie movie which inspired the following zombie movies. Everything else is not a zombie, it's a mutation :p

While I hate saying this, since Omega man was not zombies (IMO), Omega Man inspired many of the modern day zombie tropes. Otherwise you're stuck with necromancers. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Zombie_(film)

Was produced over 40 years before Omega man.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombi_(African_god)

If you're going by 'original' zombie, then this was probably centuries before film itself :P

Zombi is the name of a snake-deity in some cults of West African Vodun and Haitian Vodou (Voodoo). Zombi is a Creole word, thought to be derived from Nzambi,^[1] supreme god of the Bacongo people of Angola. The deity is connected with water and appears in different impersonations, one being Zombi-Damballah, the rainbow serpent.^[2]

^{I see nothing related to zombies here.}

^{Although, if there was a Zombi apocalypse, we would all totally die.}
 

Logically, there is no original zombie, since anything undead (or supernatural, according to dictionary.com) could be considered a zombie, thusly it has existed for thousands of years. So, the original zombie was probably supersticion/necromancy.

Nada, the first zombie was the first thing that was called a zombie, as in "Z-O-M-B-I-E"

You don't call a chipmunk a squirrel because they're both similar looking fuzzy, tiny animals with buck-teeth. You call a chipmunk a chipmunk because that was the name assigned to that species creature.

I'd argue further, but I neither have the knowledge of zombies nor do I care enough about them XD

Though, your analogy is terrible. Since chipmunks ARE squirrels. Just a specific branch of the family 'Scuridae'.

The original zombies were based off of Caribbean voodoo, so Tan is correct (as voodoo roots can be traced to the god he mentioned).

Then the zombies that came from carribean voodoo are the real zombies. There.

And as such, led by necromancers, so my real question is, why would we not learn how to do so as well, and be epic level necromancers?

Why wouldn't we indeed?

So are we saying Endmaster is a Voodoo man?

Actually, Witch Doctors are responsible for that kind of stuff originally . . .

Original and real aren't the same things.

Slow moving zombies are "real" zombies (as opposed to fast moving ones).

Voodoo "zombies" are the original ones (as opposed to the slow moving ones).

Night of the living dead, Romero, first real (Successful) (I think) zombie movie. Those zombies.

That good enough? (It was actually what I was trying to go for)

And he based those off of voodoo "zombies", which makes them the original ones.

But they are not called squirrels! That is not their official name!

But you'd be right in doing so (calling them squirrels) :P

But since that is not what they actually are (Just because a squirrel and a chipmunk are closely related and from the same family does not mean the terms can both be used interchangeably) then you wouldn't.

You don't get it do you?-

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squirrel

A chipmunk is a type of squirrel. 'Squirrel' is a family, chipmunks, marmots, tree-squirrels, and flying-squirrels are all equally squirrels :P

Fine, you wouldn't call a tree squirrel a chipmunk. That good enough for you?

Yup, but a chipmunk is a squirrel ^_^

Looks pretty close to necromancers.... 

Go to a farm with a small group of survivors and raid near by towns for the first couple months. Also a good part of my family hunts and I live in Iowa so food is not a problem.

Watch the short T.V. report about a failed zombie outbreak in (wherever) and how everybody knew how to kill them off before it became a problem.

Then continue on with life.

True with so much zombie media I would be surprised if someone did not know how to kill a zombie.

Knowing how and being able to are two very different things.

Yeah, I doubt those call of duty fanboys actually know how to shoot (and hit!) with a rifle :P

Screw the "call of duty" thing, just bunker down in Texas or another state that's filled with people who love to hunt. There are dozens of NRA members who'd be more than happy to switch from deer, mountain lion, moose, crocs, or whatever else and hunt zombies for a few days.

True, but it is not that hard to pick up a metal bar or something and just start wailing on the zombies head.

Yeah, totally easy to do. Especially when the zombie in question doesn't get frightened/fear anything... Right,

It's actually very hard if you consider the emotional aspect. You just have no idea what you're talking about lol.

Grab shotgun, blow off his head :D see guns solve everything XD

You really have no idea how hard it is to actually kill someone, it isn't just, "Boom, lol U ded mothrffker!".

If you consider that it could be your younger brother, or best friend, or just anyone that used to think, speak, and love, then it isn't the above.

To further prove this point- I don't know either, but I don't claim I do.

I would rather see my loved one dead then a mindless killing machine, and its not killing someone that you know that person is gone if you look into their eyes they are dead that is the difference between killing a zombie and a person.

You think you do. People act very different under pressure/stress. Fear in a movie theater or in a novel doesn't compare to real life stress.

stolen from draks link. ^.^

Heh.

Honestly guy I wouldn't really find it hard. I am the type of person who can be very open and can be very closed so to say. If I was forced to kill my best friend because he was an undead then I just wouldn't feel it. They aren't the same person that they once were, it's the truth. If anyone in my family or friends became a zombie I would kill them, just so they don't have to suffer.

Plus I have firearm experience :D who doesn't these days. Fired shotties before. They have a fuck load of kick

Take a live rabbit, disect it. Tell me how you feel.

Been there, done that. Stinky shit but not disgusting.

Wouldn't be stinky if it were alive while you were doing it (Though I doubt you did it alive or not) :P 

Instead, it'd be looking at you, wide eyed, and twitching. Easy, right?

... Surgery smells and the person involved is alive, so, while I've never dissected a live animal, (who the hell would--aside from a serial killer in training?) I doubt a live one would be a rose garden in comparison to the deer I've cleaned.

I'd guess that a dead body is smellier than a live one is

But yeah, dissecting a live (thinking) animal is sick (As you said, Serial-Killer in training type stuff) unless it is actually going to save human lives, or at least benefit anything but your own crazy joy.

It's one thing to cut a living creature open for the lols, another thing to go out into the wilderness, track down a living creature, and abruptly change that living creature's "Living" status with a bullet distributor, or knife. 

One is something like torture school, the other is more like a sport, really.

One thing to go over and cut open a person for the Lolz, the other is to go up and shoot him for the Lolz. One is a sport, the other isnt? 

Not that I consider an animal anywhere as valuable as a human, but it's still not right... 

Though, boxing/martial arts is a sport where we beat the shit out of each other, and I have no problems with that one....

Well, with martial arts it's different, You aren't killing eachother :P

I was replying to what delta said, that he has dissected a live rabbit (Though I doubt he did) and it was 'meh'. Killing, retiring life isn't just that. As Aman said, animals aren't nearly as valuable as humans, but surely killing a human-

You know, one of those things that have had jobs, loved others, argued, cared, thought, believed, tried, and failed isn't just 'meh, I blew is head off lol'.

Oh, a live rabbit? No haven't done that :P but I guess cutting off a chickens head and murdering a goose with its own eggs counts right? I'm not really disgusted by gore, it's just the fucking smell. It's horrid, though not as bad as my farts ;)

?

Sigh, this really isn't getting through to you is it :P

Gore doesn't bother me either, but I'll give it to you in terms you might (though I doubt it) understand.

You've played Zombie Exodus right? Any time the main character kills someone 'darkness grows within him'. If you killed Dave, the main character felt sick. Of course, that's a game. But it's ridiculous to say that you'll have no problem killing a human whom you've known because you've played a video game, or because you've shot a gun before, or because you can stand gore etc.  Unless you're actual combat military yourself, and you've killed Taliban before or something.

Ah, now I see. Well of course if it was someone that I had known for a long time, such as a friend. Say it was the beginning of the outbreak and I've joined up with a group of people very recently (like a day or two). I'm sent on a mission with some guy to go and get supplies. The guy gets bitten and is suffering on the way back. If I put a bullet in his head then I would feel bad but I wouldn't feel terrible, after all I barely know the guy. But if I were to stay with the group for another few months, I now fully trust and care for everyone. I have people that need me to help protect them. I go on another mission with, let's just say, a woman that I really like. The same thing happens and she gets bit and now she's suffering. That would hurt me, that would hurt me real bad. Of course I would put a bullet in her brain just for the sake of the other survivors and myself but I would feel a hell of a lot worse. I would most likely keep the emotions inside me though, staying strong for everyone else. 

But when it comes to bandits or undead then that's a different story. They aren't people anymore. They aren't human. They're basically well trained savages. When facing bandits or zombies I don't feel guilty. Unless I'm the one raiding an innocent family, but that's just plain evil. 

Emotional feeling level.

Strangers=no (a tiny bit because they're human)

Bandits/zombies=no

friends= yes

family=yeah

Lover= Yeah (it would hurt a lot)

For the boxing/martial arts thing, the two people know a few things when they go in.

1. They are not looking to kill each other, so it's unlikely one of them will die.

2. Adrenaline Rushes are awesome. 

3. The fighters learn and gain from it while the watchers get entertainment.

A living rabbit? You've dissected a living rabbit? What kind of monster are you? 

Ive killed one animal once. It's legs and wings were broken, and we weren't able to contact the animal care. I had to drown it. I felt fucking sick. This was a bird, who I no connection to, who would be better off if killed then if left to starve or be eaten. 

Wait why did you drown it, break its neck it would be quicker and less painful.

Since I couldn't kill an animal using my two hands? I tried, but it felt like I'd vomit the BBQ we had earlier.

So, i'm guessing you have some sort of thing against hunting enthusiasts?

Anyone who hunts (lethal) for fun is somewhat sick in the head. 

Otherwise, nah, I'm a steak lover, I've been to the butcher and didn't get scarred, I've dissected dead pigs before... Just the killing that makes my stomach tumble. 

You realize all hunting results in the death of an animal, correct?

Eh, you could hunt just for fun but not kill the animal. 

Nevermind, not considered hunting

Meant trapping. 

By hunting for fun do you mean killing the animal and then not eating it, or killing it to hit it.

Um, both? Killing it to hit is sick, and killing for fun is also sick. But, both are the same, no?

Well killing a animal for food if you need it is not sick, its just part of life.

You never said that... You said:

Kill to hit. Or Kill for fun. 

Neither mean for food. Which I stated above was completely fine. 

Sorry I did not mean to write hit, I was going to say eat. Sorry for the confusion.

*shrug* It's not always for the hunter themselves to eat. While there are a lot of people who do it to feed their families, there are also hunters who donate their kills to the homeless or disabled veterans, like my stepdad.

Pretty sure 'eat' in this context refers to it being put to good use, rather than just bring maniacal pleasure to a hunter.

Still for food, and perfectly good. Making a profit off of it is okay as well, I suppose, though the people who leave the body to rot/hang it in the room are.... Off

Yeah, killing it for the sake of killing is sick. Killing it to learn, or to live is fine as far as I see it. Disecting a rabbit while it's alive, and not feeling any sympathy means that you have some serious problems.

From another's point of view it might be hard to kill another being especially when that being used to be human, and when that time comes you need to ask yourself is it going to be me or them.

But, you don't know what you'll do 'when the time comes' :P

When you are in a situation where you cannot run. Its fight or die no other option.

It's very easy to say that when you're not in the situation.

My plan follows a variety of steps that would take a while to write in detail. I'll tell you when I got free time.

http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_551_24-details-that-would-make-video-games-too-realistic_p24/#2

1. Watch everyone I'm close to die a horrible death either through zombies or other humans.

2. Become a smuggler for 20 years

3. Reluctantly accept a job escorting a 14 year old girl who looks like Ellen Page across the country.

4. Get into adventures involving zombies, cannibals and bandits and bond with said girl.

5. Kill the people I'm supposed to deliver her to. (She'll be unconscious when I do this)

6. Lie to girl about what really happened.

7. ?????

8. PROFIT!

Like a video game?

Yeah I figure its a better plan than escaping from a crashed police car, escorting a seven year old girl, getting into adventures with zombies, cannibals and bandits, and ultimately getting infected and dying.

Hate when that happens...

How is the game I haven't checked it out yet.

You mean Last of Us?

I thought it was cool to play through once and I liked the fact that it didn't have a traditional Hollywood ending.

But I don't really have any desire to play through it again, just as well that I got to play it for free.

Filler for 7:

Do all the things you never got to do with your close ones with said girl.

First of all, the zombie apocalypse would only last for 2 minutes before every single one of them were shot dead. Every hardcore gamer, gun-owning braggart, and conspiracy crackpot would have been preparing for that moment their whole lives.

Second of all, unless is was some sort of extremely powerful parasite that replaced the entire human body as we know it,  it would be nigh impossible to rescuccitate a dead human body via parasitism.

Third of all, Viruses are incapable of being so coordinated that they could control, even as loosely as a shambling uncanny-valley zeds we know today, a human body. Viruses are hardly even alive to begin with, they can't move on their own, and reproduce by chance encounters that the pointy end finally manages to hit a cell membrane/wall. Same thing goe to bacteria, which are likely incapable of figuring out what they're doing. They have a better chance of fucking with brains like zombies being rabies rather than the primitive zombie approach.

If a zombie apocalypse DID break out, and nothing happened, then I'd learn to be a fucking necromancer/lich and have a spectacular zombie war.

and @Firewing, as far as it being psychologically difficult to bring yourself to kill a zombie, while your brain does register it as a human being, it also registers the zombies in your social out-group. The out-group is generally considered by the caring part of the brain as a bunch of strangers and automatons that you needn't care about, and that if need be, you can blow their heads off with reckless abandon, and even feel free to hate them. Famous universal out-group members include: Ugly Hookers, Nazis, Communists, Xenomorphs, Really boring Teachers, School Bullies, terrorists, and other dislikable people.

Has anyone noticed that I put "IF" in the sentence? I highly doubt zombies could ever even exist. However, I do believe someone could create a biological weapon that can mutate or mess with people's brains to make them like zombies.

That's another thing, there IS something that restricts people of their free will, called 'Devil's Breath', but they won't be doing anything without constant monitoring, and commanding, and it only lasts for a while, you could literally go into a base and destroy the hivemind behind it, that is IF they can get it to work on such a large scale. Marijuana and bath salts can do that too (see "face-eating hobo") but it also only lasts for a few hours, and wouldn't really make people anything other than idiotic serial killers for a fe hours.

If there was ever a zombie apocalypse, it's as easy as going to your local asylum for the insane.

1. Quiet.  Besides the occasional screaming, there isn't much to hear since a lot of the cells are muffled up anyways.

2. Hygiene.  Unlike depicted in movies, asylums are cleaned out almost on a daily basis.  So if I come right in, it's clean and mostly rid of disease and pathogens.

3. Defense.  As a prison meant to keep people from going in and / or out, the asylum wins.  There are dozens of lines and escape routes to fall back to once the outer fences or walls are broken down, and even holing up in a cell works as well.

That's actually really smart... Too bad there's no asylums where I live :D

So basically.

Go to the Outlast place, kill all the crazy mutants, and then eat people for survival.

What do you mean that wasnt suggested? Thats all I heard.

Well, from a realistic approach, it's VERYVERYVERYVERYVERYVERY unlikely someone's going to turn into a mutant inside the asylum as soon as the apocalypse start, and asylums make for poor testing facilities if they have less fortifications than a military base.

Very good plan. My plan actually wasn't as good as I thought. Though I do have knowledge on flying planes, I still haven't bought my plane but I only have a hundred dollars to go. Though what do you guys/gals think about Dalma Island? Population of 4,800-5,000. Pretty good island. Fortified buildings dot the island and there is an airport and boat docks. And to answer one of the above problems, I would collect the supplies from my house and neighbor's houses and the survivors from the surrounding area.

Food?!? Water!?!

Your right. Swift, you didn't mention were you would get food or water in you plan. Might want to add that.

Cannibalism and recycled piss.

1. Sneak into State Penitentiary

2. wait till everyone kills each oher in the infighting

3. steal cop weapons.

4. kill survivors in the inevitable prison riot.

5. have private fortress, and a ton of food and zombie bait.

6. Sell zombie bait to trapmakers

7. trap all the zombies

8. perform experiments on trapped zombies

9. save mankind.

That actually doesn't sound half bad.

How are we going to trap all the zombies.

Read 6.

More pressing question? From which place does the food and water magically come?

Most prisons and asylums have food and water stored in the building, and if its near a town you can send out parties to look for food.

The dead humans.

Do you mean the zombies or just humans. Because zombies would turn you into a zombie.

Actually, if you left a dead zombie alone for long enough, the virus or parasite would have nothing to feed on and die off, or you could eat it regardless if cooked properly. 

@Galo: It's a fucking prison, the State fucking Penetentiary, they can feed 2,500 people for months.

Fairly certain that even if I've resorted to cannibalism in this scenario, there is no way in hell I'm going risk eating a "dead" zombie. Baring the zombie virus, the body is still most likely going to be festering with other diseases. Cooking rotten meat of any kind might get rid of bacteria, but it won't get rid of the toxins produced by said  bacteria.

Hell, it would probably be safer to pick the maggots off the corpse, cook those up and eat them instead.

I know, that's why I'm sticking to prison food. Bodies are for zomble raps!

I would probably use that bait to distract zombies so I could go get more supplies. But that's just me.

I'm guessing ISP meant "zombie traps" rather than zombies busting out with hardcore rhymes.

Unless he meant zombie rapes, which leads to the question if he's leaving out bodies to watch zombies rape it, or he's leaving out bodies in the hopes of capturing a zombie so he can rape it.

It's probably misspelled because his brain is the size of a acorn.

You're the one who dressed a pig as Captain America...

Leave Dave out of this!

Never!

Damn you!

 Tell "Dave" next time he shits on my lawn, he'll spend the next morning as a continental breakfast!

I'll make sure he wears his Juggernaut suit then.

I eat Juggernauts for breakfast... No pun intended.

Okay the prison/asylum idea is from walking dead I believe.

I was thinking the same.

Nah, it's from years of persecuting people on prison servers in Gmod before the computer I had it on broke.

1. grab a costco and a trustworthy group.

2. wait till the overall panic/massacre ends.

3. Grab a home depot.

4.Grab a bass pro shops.

5. Fortify the FUCK out of everything.

6. Grab a marina.

7. Use the cranes to use the crates to build an HQ.

8. Survive, and repopulate.

When you say "Grab a" do you mean clear out and move in, or clear out and collect supplies?

Actualy, how do you magically get to all these places? how do you expect to simply conquer them? Why are you waiting until you "grab" all these places to fortify the fuck out of shit?

1. On my bike, and with the clever use of high ground and ropes.

2. I don't, I just simplified it.

3.Nah, i'm gonna fortify the shit out of them, but i'll need to conserve supplies for any emergencies, like a break in, etc. 

Also, "Grab" means the former, oinkman.

Oh, ok, I got it.

A costco is very inefficient, there's little to no things of value there. Seriously, a Cajun Bar'n'Grill would be a better place, secondly, how do you and your trusted allies intend to go about simply killing the fuck out of every fucking zombie in a place, one building after the other, and then just foritfy it without having to constantly get the rest of the horde to sod off? Especially when there's apparently this complex ropes-course you're trying to build to avoid being grabbed by jumping zombies.

*sigh* your ADHD is acting up again.

first, costco has a moderate amount of food, and it has concrete walls and no windows, so that means less fortification is needed. Second, this is a forum thread made for fun. I'm not going to put detailed schematics of my every action on here.

I don't even have ADHD! ADHD is something that would have allowed me to ignore your post completely! And besides, just going with Walmart would have been a better Idea if you decided to run by in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, (unless you had some sort of idea that it was going to happen and decided it was best to dirty your criminal record to squat in a costco and wait until shit hit the fan to vandalize, and loot it. Walmart is bigger, has tons of food, communication devices, and othersuch things, but requires more fortification, if you went into a costco, which only has a moderate amount of everything, you'd eventually run out and die, or get your asses handed to you by the swarms of nomad zombies that got into Wal-mart while you were busy fortifyig costco, or have to get into a gunfight with other looters due to the fact that you waited too long to get to the big prize! It's easier to welcome potential troops into a fortified Wal-mart, (and easier to hide in until the Zombocalypse begins/gets to the area) and then go out to conquer the costcos, other walmarts, gas stations, and targets, then it is to go up from a costco. Hell, a Sports store would have been a better choice, that way you'd have gotten weights to drop on zombies in traps, and lots of guns and ammo. There might even be kayaks, or boats you could use to get across water to safety, and fishing rods, with bait that you could use to get food aside from the snacks next to the checkout counter!

I'm just the sort of person who actually has a whole bank robbery planned out if I want to be the guy of low moral fibre in a Superhero thread.  (actually did, now that I think about it...)

I meant OCD.

and that wall of text is only reinforcing my point. You're over complicating what should be a lighthearted discussion. And in case you didn't notice, bass pro shops and marina are both on the list.

But they just aren't SOON enough! Costco sucks, it's a horrible, damnable place, it is NOT the place to "grab" when the apocalypse comes! People with this sort of plan are usually the first to get eaten! Or even the first to kill their fellow survivors and go crazy...(I don't allow VANDALISM... IN... MY... STOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRREEEE!!!!)

Then suggest it, don't act all high and mighty.

I didn't do the latter, I simply stated it was a horrible place to start, because reasons. At no point did I state that this was because I was the king survivalist hitman from the deserts of Iraq or anything of the sort.

because reasons? Lul.

*sigh*

im just asking that you say "how about you                ", rather than " how do you expect to magically kill every fucking zombie, Etc. "

But that's what makes my arguments effective!

Okay...

I'd say Home Depot is the best place for supplies as in fortifying places.

And it has weapons, AND food! It even has some kick-ass lawnmowers and, if you're at one that has a greenhouse, dirt, and seeds, farming supplies to be self-sufficient!

Why do you think I listed it?

Should have gotten to it earlier in your plan! But no, you chose COSTCO!

Meh.

I think Sentinel needs to read posts more carefully from now on.

My brother and I have always said that we would go to Home Depot in the case of a ZA.

That was mostly because I am a mallet addict though.

You? A mallet addict? Bah!  You should see BerkaZerka!

Why?

I don't think BZ sleeps with one under pillow, mattress, arm, and sidetable.

why, he's always gripping one! Even the guns he uses have secret war mallets hidden inside that he uses when they fail!

I own 7 mallets IRL.

BZ owns about 10, personally, not counting the ones he plays croquet with, and the ones he can pull ot of thin air.

I own 3 battle-ready quality longswords, 2 crossbows, 4 bolt-action hunting rifles, with assorted attachments(including silencers),8 flares, and a flashbang I concocted out of various fireworks. So much fun.

Longswords mean fuck all to modern protective gear, and were used primarily for prying apart plate armor that we no longer use and parrying othr weapons of the time. You're much better off with a fire axe, which I happen to own. I also own chainsaws, and many other misusable farming untensiles, and 2 guns, (Elephant-killing rifles they are!) and one crossbow, and a klling-quality slingshot. While I don't have fireworks, I don't need them, I have much gasoline, and live a mere 5-minute walk away from a neighbor who powers go-carts with Nitrus Oxide tanks.

Meh, just listing some fun, and either way, we're not gonna see many geeks wearing kevlar.

Corrupt veterans, people like the army psychopath from Deadrising, conspiracy cranks, police dog trainers, the list goes on. You'd be surprised how many people would actually wear it. Not to mention the cops, corrupt or not, and the swat teams they'd have deployed, and no to mention that any of the above could have been infected at one point or another. There could even be insanely annoying Riot Shield Zombies, like the ones in The Last Stand: Union City.

I said geek, which means zombies, and geeks dont have the dexterity to hold riot shields.

They could, depending on their level of decay. Some might even have the remnants of intelligence to grip and/or pick up and use items, until they ultimately lose it after the first few weeks of decomposition.

No, they couldn't. At least not normally. It depends on the strain of solanum.

That really just depends on the virus's ability to control nerve and Enzymes, and since they really can't, it's safe to assume the subconscious of the human with a new need for flesh would do anything within it's remembered motor skils to do so, it's perfectly reasonable that, at least melee-wise, zomies could be just as armed as human beings, but with less prowess.

As I said, it depends on the strain. Besides, if things go wrong, look 3 posts down.

I will be wearing my mettle plated spike armor and grab my slightly used katana. Spiky armor+Katana= Fun!

So, in other words, a European-style Rajput?

Fuck it, i'll call in chuck norris.

What if chuck norris dies before then? Then can I come in? can I? can I? can I? can I please? pretty please?

Chuck Norris is an entity, so no.

Damn!

You can still come, though.

YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Oh wait I got another zombie plan in case some other things happen before the zpocalpse.

1. Learn to become a motorcycle racer.

2. Have a daughter with my wife. 

3. Have wife get killed by zombies and my daughter get bit.

4. Constantly seek out a zombie antidote so my daughter doesn't turn.

5. Hold up in a casino/mall/town like area.

6. Get into adventures with zombies, cannibals and bandits.

7. ???

8. PROFIT!

Good plan but what if you havea son?

Abortion.

Lol.

Well if I have a son, I guess I'll put a cowboy hat on him and teach him to survive while trying to hold the band of survivors together.

I imagine as time goes on his mom will get shot with the second baby she just had and he'll start slowly becoming more accustomed to death in general.

 After he shoots your best friend for trying to kill you.

This seems oddly familiar....

It's from the walking dead

You can't abort a live baby Tan...your slow typing skills.

You know that blacklight they put in women's vaginas that I forgot what it's called but they do? That's how you tell an unborn baby's gender.

Also, because it's related...

http://xkcd.com/734/

I felt like I should mention, would anyone raid somewhere just for books, cause I think it would be hard to restart, civilization without some kind of books.

A lot of libraries are going to fall :P 

Ever read 'How the Irish Saved Civilization"? Let's hope there's people like that storing books in safe places whilst Barnes and Noble is trampled by the oncoming Zed.

Capture a bunch of zombies, and look for a cure. Probably going to die in the process, but hey if I turn into a zombie yay.

oh.

Die with everyone else. 

^