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We all know that surgery is not afun experience.  I would like to know what experiences you people have had under the knife.

I, Qatar, recently had my appendix taken out. 

Yeah, I once had to get a splinter taken out of my finger. I still have nightmares about it!.

I had my apendix ruptured on me when i was in 3rd grade.Almost died too. thanks to the freakin nurses at the hospital. found out the cause of it to..............I swallowed too much gum when i was young.

Wow, that must suck. 

It did i was in the hospital of new years in 03

This isn't surgery, but I had a snail crawl up my nose once. 

Exactly what do the nurses have to do with you nearly dying from swallowing too much gum as a child? >_>

I had my appending removed 2 summers ago. I woke up in pain early in the morning (which was odd since I would sleep for 15 hours back then :P). It hurt for hours till I went to the hospital and after spending half of the day waiting to get examined (cause Greeks hospitals are dah shit) the pain was almost gone (But it was my appending that caused it). I decided to get it removed anyway so that it wouldn't cause problems in the future (I actually wanted to experience a surgery to, lol).

Being drugged was fun. The doc gave me that thingy you have to breath from and told me to count reverse from 10 to 0. I asked "out loud or sile-" and then passed out :P

When I returned to this realm I was dizzy, nauseous and was whispering "help me" as the dog found utter joy in my suffering, laughing while I was still not sure where I was at. (before I opened my eyes I saw a flashback of my time in the hospital, thinking it was the dream but as I happily opened my eyes and show the hospital's lights I almost cried). Fucker was laughing at what I was saying, pfft.

Then they brought me back to my hospital room, with me still being dizzy and nauseous and I asked for a bucket, but it was just for show (dunno why) since I didn't feel like puking but when they gave it to me I puked... weird stuff.

Anyway, I then fell asleep and spent 3 or 5 days there (don't remember). I remember not having eaten or drank anything for like 2 days but that wasn't as bad as the stink of the bathroom (due to all the meds I was given) or the torture of shitting while standing up (couldn't sit down due to the cut the did to me to get the appending out). In the first days I was there I couldn't even move in my bed without feeling pain. It actually felt good slowly trying to walk in the abandoned hospital floor.

Then I got back to my house where I still couldn't do thing like run or walk 50 steps without having to go to the toilet (apparently walking makes your guts work).

And this kids, is the story of how I first had to shave my pubes

I went to the hospital with appendicitis and they told me it was the flu, and sent me home to die. 

Two days later, my appendix burst, and I passed out in the break room at work.  They said maybe I should go home for the day. 

So I came back to work for the rest of the week, but for some reason, I was still in pain, so I went to the doctor, and they told me it was probably a kidney infection and gave me some antibiotics.

So finally about a week after my appendix ruptured I still had a 99 degree fever, and the doctor said "you know, maybe you should go back to the hospital and get a CAT scan."  So I went to the hospital, and they wouldn't listen to me about the scan and wouldn't do any blood work, and said it was just an antibiotic resistant infection, and I could spend the night hooked up to an IV.

In the middle of the night, my doctor's med school buddy showed up and said my doctor called him and said they should really do a CAT scan, so they did that, and took my blood for some tests, and about two hours later they came back and it turned out I was actually about to go into septic shock and die from multiple abdominal abscesses . 

So eventually it turned out great, because I got over a month off work with 100% disability pay, and a ton of really neat scars.

TL;DR: Appendicitis is almost always survivable if they take it out, and almost always fatal if they leave it in :)

Did you swallow too many gum? 

No.

You don't want to talk about it. 

Ouch, haha.

Damn.

I had to have tubes put in my ears when I was little. I have had other surgeries, but I'm not talking about them in front of people I hardly know...or anyone for that matter.

Maybe you shouldn't have spike our curiosity then. 

I haven't had any surgical experiences, but my semi-half cousin got one of his heads removed...

... He had an extra head? That's kind of cool. xD

... All men have two heads XD

I said an extra head, Delta. As in, a third one. Lol, I could be wrong, but I asked in the assumption that the doctors didn't behead him or cut off his dick. (Though I realize there are medical reasons to remove a man's junk.) On top of that... xD I have seen people with more than one head, it's just rare.

I once had my wisdom teeth removed.

I fell asleep, and was dizzy afterwards, due to the drugs. I spent an hour waiting for the whole "delirium" part of it to kick in, so that I could film it, become an internet legend, and make millions.

No such luck, I was as sober as an Amish schoolboy during Lent.

Okay, so I was playing Football.

I hadn't showed up to practice for like, the past 3 weeks so my coaches decided to punish me by taking me from my preferred positions (Defense - outside linebacker, tackles and end) into my least favorite position (Offense - they suck big, hairy balls, real boring. I was put on tackle).

I was doing a good job, of course (i'm not going to be fucking humble and say I'm bad at football, i'm good. We won gold that year and i'm my team's defensive captain).

Apparently I was doing a good enough job to really piss off this one guy on the other team. I kept on blocking him for several rounds, he and this other guy teamed up, punched me a few times in the gut, right under the armor to try and wind me (I was tense, they were comparatively weak, it didn't work).

In turn, I punched him right in his little bitch-ass face. He was wearing a helmet. No, this was not the best decision. 

It was a minor break, I thought it was just a sprain. He fell back, and then next round he and his partner tried to beat me down again (shittiest refs ever). I grabbed him and threw him to the ground, straddled him and tightened my hands around his throat, started choking him out (just to scare him, get him to fuck off).

Sure enough, he and his friend stayed the fuck away from me for the rest of the game (refs didn't notice shit).

My wrist was still broken though. I kept on playing the entire season (just wrapped my wrist for the sprain I thought I had). By the end of the season, I started to think maybe something was up with this apparently permanently sprained wrist. Saw a doctor, he wanted an essay for the "5% chance that it was a break". Yeah, it was a break.

Since it had been so long, the bone had managed to heal - badly, of course. It was a non-union break, the thing was still fractured. Lucklily, blood flow was good and nothing died, I was fix-able - with surgery. Now, the public healthcare system in Canada (as in all places in the world except the US, who's inherently corrupt hospital system is busy ruining the medical system in the country) is inherently superior because:

1 - Healthcare is free and the government will pay for everything

2 - Since the government pays for everything, doctors get paid less (only somewhere in the 6 digits range- which, in Quebec, kinda sucks, because there's a bullshit 50% tax on anyone who earns over 100K a year, I think). This means that the doctors are usually very bribe-able, for prices usually far, far lower than what you'd have to pay uninsured, and you get by so fast. (it's cheap too, just a few gifts here and there).

I got the thing fixed up in a month or two, doctor was a great guy (and this was before I bribed him). Kept the cast on my wrist for a month or two as well, got it removed in the summer. I unfortunately missed track and field that year (I dominate in all the throwing events) but it was worth it. I lost some flexibility but the experience was painless (though that was in no part due to the morphine, which I apparently don't metabolize, but because of a numbing agent put into my arm the day of the surgery, a good cast and a great surgeon).

I ended up losing so much muscle mass in my right arm that I slipped the cast right off the day before I was meant to get it removed (at least, that's what I think happened.) It was so good to shower again (I hate baths with a passion) and to work the arm out again. I saw a physical therapist afterwards, I only ended up losing a tiny bit of flexibility in the wrist, can still do everything I need to with the hand, and I regained the muscle soon enough.

All in all, it was a pretty decent experience.

Add a tr;dr and this post would be perfect. 

Yeah, fuck that lol. If you're too lazy to read the post, don't do it, if you're interested then do it.

Moronic actions should not be encouraged.

*tl;dr

And nobody cares.

 he wanted an essay for the "5% chance that it was a break". Yeah, it was a break.

*X-ray

Drak: The ex-overwight badass animal murderer!

Kinda funny how the Health system is great in Canada because the doctors are bribable (by teenagers no less!) XD

And baths rock, I just don't have the time haha. Glad you got through the experience man.

Wha-  what?

Oh, my parents totally provided the bribe, but I delivered, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to say "I bribed a doctor".

You noted you were once overweight, badass cuz you unapologetically punch people, and you murder fish. Don't question it :P

How much was it? XD

Oh yeah (I was a chubby little kid, till I grew up and started playing football, etc..)

300~ dollars worth of gifts.

Not showering sucks.  I had all these tubes coming out of my back and abdomen I couldn't get wet, and they were attached to plastic bags full of whatever was leaking out me, so I had to carry those around if I went out of the house, and I had an IV line sewn into my left upper arm that went right to my heart, which they told me would kill me if it got infected, so I mostly stayed home.  I had to use the kitchen sink for hygenical purposes.

Also, I was awake when they put most of the drainage tubes in, and that was the pinnacle of physical suffering in my life so far.  It took hours, and local anesthetic doesn't work well on abscessed flesh, and apparently your lizard brain knows that nothing is supposed to be that deep in your intestines. I also got to find out what breaking under torture feels like, when they were finally done with all the tubes in the front and I thought it was over, and they told me to turn over because now they had to do the back ones.  That was when I started dry heaving and asking them to stop now please.  (They didn't.)

There's so much more of that story which I'm sure no one cares about.

TL;DR Seth complains about surgery.

D:

How is bribing someone making the health care system better?

The health system is already better, the officials being bribeable makes it even better.

No it doesn't, it makes it corrupt giving the rich better access to it. Not saying Greece is better, people died cause they couldn't bribe which is why I can't see how it helps things

People are going to get help either way (unlike America, where you'll die because even if you're insured, the hospital will find a way to slap you with a 5000$ charge for a single blood test that y.our insurance company will deem "medically unecessary" (That's not a joke, actually happened. Chargemaster rates are fucking insane, doesn't help that the hospitals don't bother to make it public in any way that you can haggle that down). The difference is that, if you need to go through the system faster, you can easily either go to a private clinic (expensive) or bribe an official (less expensive). Either way, everyone is getting service, and the people who pay for service get better service, because that's how the goddamn world works, haha.

The hospital charged me $20k just for the room. Not the surgeries, medication, appointments, or anything else, just for staying in the hospital for 7 days. And that's 20 grand that wasn't covered by insurance.  American health care sucks.

If your not American be glad that you don't have to deal with Obamacare.

How could you qualify for both Linebacker and O-Line?

What do you mean? Everyone and anyone can play O-line, O-line is literally only for the fat, strong but worthless people who cannot do anything else because they can't learn the techniques necessary for defensive line, aren't fast enough to be linebackers, and are too uncoordinated to serve as quarterback. They have 1 technique to stop the opposing player, and it's incredibly mundane (lift up from the chest pad, throws them up and they can't move out against you). I can't believe that you would think somehow, me qualifying as a linebacker would somehow make me illegible to be on the offensive line.

On the teams that I've played on, the linebackers were only rarely seen on the O-line as they are usually fullbacks or running backs. I personally played defensive end and I didn't think there was much technique to it, just cause as much chaos behind/on the line as possible and I was smaller than every person I went up against (160 lbs and 6 feet tall). I don't think you're giving the O-line enough credit, they have to adjust their blocking scheme according to the changes on the D-line and linebackers, this is including they different formations they will have to deal with.

As I said, outside linebacker, with a whole load of other positions on line. I took (and liked) that position because I could tackle, and I could usually get to the runner.

If you don't think there's any technique to it, you're doing it wrong, haha. I was also smaller than most of the offensive line (180lbs, 5'10), because that's how you pick who goes on the offensive line. You take the biggest, slowest idiots you can find and slap them there, then tell them to act as a wall. It's tedious, repetitive, and you never get to tackle anybody. Boring as shit, and something a (sufficiently large) toddler could do.

I've played on the O-line, I know exactly what they do and how they do it, and sure, maybe some do their job well, but their job is not hard to do in the first place. The defense have it hard, it takes a fast hand (and person) to get through the O-line and get to the quarterback in time, haha.

The different formations are, frankly, a joke. They have about as much of an effect on the game as the colour of the ground you're playing on, in the end the objective and the tactics used to keep the defensive charge at bay are the same.

From my personal experience, I only had a few set jobs to do plus whatever was needed for the particular team. The only techniques I ever used were simple (at least to me) ways to get past the line using speed and agility as well as doubling up with the other DE to cause a cause/recover fumbles.

What I'm saying about the O-line is that they never get enough credit. That position is literally the only one that requires battling somebody every play. The game is won at the line, and I'm sure you've seen what happens when the O-line isn't doing their job. *cough* Broncos *cough*

I got my head cracked open when I was 9. That was fun. :p

Ever heard of "Epidural hernia"? it doesn't have anything to do with normal hernia. it's when your ballsack gets shaken to much and one of the testicles ( or both) simply twist around themselves, almost strangling themselves to death. It hurts as if you're getting kicked in the balls every 5 seconds. With army boots. The only way to stop the pain is surgery.

So I went to the hospital, they made me sleep, shaved my balls, cut my ballsack and put the testicles back in place. I still have a tiny scar. The doctors also say that my right testicle will also produce 20% less semen because of it. And it wasn't even my fault, some bozo at school punched me and I fell 3 flights of stairs, ballsack-first into a door. Why did he do it? because he was gypsy and I was not. So now you know why I hate them.

 

Another surgery would be my appendix. Wait, I mean appendices. The doctor explained that, at birth, humans have two appendices, but one gets "consumed" by the body in the early years. For some reason, my second appendix didn't quite disappear.  So , after some moron kicked me in the stomach ( they think that people in pain are fun) , it started to hurt. The doctors said immediately what the problem was... only they didn't knew why the center of the pain was moving. When I was on the surgery table, they realized I still had the second one... so they cut off both . And mistakenly severed a part of the intestine so I had to stay in hospital for the whole summer vacation. 

 

I also had two more surgeries but those were even more awful.

Damn.

Odd. My post was removed... wait, what? 0.o

I confess it wasn't one of my more refined moments. Far from it, but c'mon, you've got to be screwing with me here. Did it seriously get deleted without warning on a site where people openly drop F bombs (and every other kind,) or talk about sexuality, rape, torture, murder, incest, religion, politics, gore, porn, racism, death, so on? I'm all for drawing lines, but... <_<' really, guys? Really? You actually want to draw it here?

So I'm allowed to talk about how to abduct a young woman, rape and murder her, and escape the law while doing so, but a bathroom related pun is just waaay too far? Even though I've seen worse jokes on the SAME subject escape deletion and this is literally the first I've ever made.

... Weirder still is that, my initial post, "I'd rather preform surgery than have it, but I don't care to discuss either," is missing, too. >_> That was me refraining from being gross. There is literally no logical reason to delete that one. However, after the reply I got, I figured "hell, other people here are talking about shaving pubic hair and dying of abdominal abscesses, plus there was an entire topic on rape and murder, no way people are going to get offended." 

-.-' I'm confused and... a little disappointed at the hypocrisy. Also, I am starting to question whether or not one of our mods might be a bit biased, rather than genuinely interested in maintaining a set standard. 

They may have thought it was spam. Or a moderator's mouse slipped.

(though, given what's been let through...)

Spam...? That is incredibly unlikely, considering the first post was directly related to the topic, was a single sentence, and was not a double post. I'll buy the second, though.

You basically said that you didn't want to talk about the topic, that is very easily regarded as spam (being an entirely meaningless post), haha.

Either it was because it didn't really contribute to the conversation and was just ASKING for a derailment, or it was because whoever deleted that post knew it would irk you just that much.

My first post was related to the topic.

The fact that you can watch your dad's cornea be taken off like a plastic wrap on a screen was more than enough for me to not wanna talk any more about surgery.  :P

xD I never really got started talking about it.

Maybe your post was attached to someone else's that got deleted?

But that's just it. My first post is gone, too. It was a direct reply to the initial post of the topic. That, coupled with the fact that it was a post you could read aloud in a church of any religion without someone batting an eyelash... makes this more than a little weird.

Sure... I could buy that a mod was being careless and deleted the wrong post, but that would be very careless. =\ I think I'd rather hear that they were offended by the joke and retaliated. xD

It wasn't me then, I wouldn't have deleted just for being off topic,  and I don't remember reading anything like a potentially offensive joke from you. 

Eh...? I never said it was you. There are other people who could've, right? I don't even know who all has power to delete posts and I'm not really interested in placing blame. I wanted to say my piece and if possible, to know why.

If there's no forthcoming reason, okay, I can deal with that--but if there was no reason and I've done nothing wrong, I would like to ask everyone who does have that kind of power to be a bit more conscientious.

Your try saying anything out loud in a Romanian church.

You'll cause a stampede of smelly old ladies claiming you're the spawn of The Unclean One (Romanian "Necuratul", alternative word for Satan). 

Fine, almost any religion. :P

I got a filling in my teeth XD

I have had around 30 surgeries in my life. I have had health issues since birth. Some 1 day surgery, sometimes I spent weeks in the hospital. 

nate