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Hi, everyone! I'll tell you a bit about myself! I love the Warrior Cats series A LOT. And I just finished creating a story game. It's called The Life of a Thunderclan Cat Chapter 1, hope you guys can check it out and leave a comment... Pretty please...? This is my first time writing stories and so far I enjoy it. I want to meet writers and maybe even make friends on here, so pop in and say hello if you see me on the forums or on a story game.

Nice to meet ya!

Nice to meet you as well! Welcome, enjoy your stay :D

Thank you! Wow, I didn't expect a reply so soon but I guess it makes me less nervous to what people will think of me. XD

You seem pretty cool. Capy welcomes you. 

Thanks! You seem nice as well!

Welcome to the site, enjoy your stay!

Thank you! I'll enjoy both reading AND writing while I'm here! XP

Haha hey! woo im new too! :p we should be friends :)

Sure! Nice to meet ya! :D

At least you're better than most WC fans on this site... <_<

Tell me, how exactly did you stumble upon chooseyourstory?

Thank you! It is my first time writing a story, though... :b

As for how I found this? I was searching around for games based on WC, scratch or whatever it's called wasn't very helpful, especially since I use my iPad most of the time. Then I saw something about a game and I clicked on it. There! Any guesses on what site I came across? XD

Wait... so you Google Warrior Cats games, and get this site? 

Yeah, I mentioned it before.

We're the seventh thing that comes up with the query: "warrior cats games".

This bodes ill. 

*Googles it* Yep, it pops up really quickly on there.. O.O

Oooooooo, GOOOOOOOOGLE! XD and yep! I guess it's because it's called a StoryGAME

Welcome! I am new too :3

(OMST I am kinda freaking out because Bluestar is my favorite Warrior Cat and I just got Bluestar's Prophecy yesterday and was bouncing around my classroom in joy and kinda got in trouble but... BLUEFUR!!!! (Sorry, just had to type that whole little sentence thingy there))

I have played your game, and I have to say it was actually quite good except for the end. It was really short, but a little fluff is all you need for the story to shoot into five stars. (And no crazy eating in weird places, but that is not the point) I can't wait for Chapter 2, and hope to be your friend.

Fwends? :3

Really?! Bluestar's my favorite cat too! The first Warrior cat book I ever read was Bluestar's Prophesy! :D

And thank you! It's my first time! I'm working on the second chapter right now, actually. It might take a while cause people all say that the last one was really short. :3 The crazy eating part was for the sake of having HUMOR and messing with people. XD Also was a way to have some 'Game Over' spots, if ya know what I mean!

Sure, we can be fwends! XP As far as I can tell though there isn't a way to register someone as a friend, which is really a bummer... DX But there is messaging, I guess!

If you want a feature, you can always request it at the Feature Wishing Well.

As for friends though, I think it has been requested before.

Hi bluefur nice to meet you. No offence but you game is crap. c:

I don't know why but your comment made me laugh XD

Thank you...? I know it is... *sigh* But the thing that matters is that I tried my best! >:D

Please refrain from "trying your best" from now on. Thank you.

If you know the game sucks, don't publish it - you're just being an ass at that point.

I did it so that maybe nice people can come and tell me how to improve... Not just say how horrible it is, you CAN do that, but please give me some tips on how to improve!

I can message you some stuff that can help :3

Sure! Much appreciated! :D

Don't make a warrior cats game. = 10x better rating.

Making a good WC game is going to get pretty much the same rating as any other good game.

Not by me xD I don't care if it's the greatest WC game in existence (which isn't a high bar to reach) - warrior cats games will always get a maximum of 3/8 rating from me. In fact, I haven't come a across a WC game that even got a 3/8 from me. If it's well-written and it looks like they spent time on it, it get's a 2/8 for being WC. Otherwise it's almost instantly 1/8.

Edit: Oop, just realised how old this thread was.

True, but a great warriors game might make the top charts. It is all about the game, not what it is about.

"It is all about the game, not what it is about." - Unfortunately, I don't doubt that some people would rate it badly just because of what it is.

Let me list some ones that will hopefully make sense.

1: Grammar

2: Better story line

3: Don't make it shit

Publishing it invites more people to give you criticism, with that, you can improve. I say go ahead if you think you have made a bad game but you're not sure how to improve it (Asking in the forums first might be a good idea however).

Yes, but... I think they might need to see how I write to help me improve it. Not to mention that I'm actually pretty good at writing in my school, but I thought that there might be people here that are way more awesome at writing than me.

There is, You just think your good, when your really crappy compared to anyone else on the site.

Insulting him isn't exactly helping.

Btw, I'm a girl. XD

Generalization :p

It might take me awhile to remember you're a girl xD

Yep, just call me Crystal, that's my name. XD

Giving out your info on the internet is dangerous! A old pervert could get you! then he could rape you all he wanted...

OMG people! God I get it, but it's not my fault I get really FRIENDLY! Unlike some people! Sheesh!

I am friendly, right?

Yep! You're pretty friendly as far as I can tell, as well as MadBrad____ (I forgot the rest XD)

I see.....Your a stubborn ass like all the other warrior cat fans on the site....

What? How was she being stubborn exactly? She wasn't even insulting you and you are having a go at her for no reason.

Being friendly isn't exactly a stubborn trait.

"Being friendly isn't exactly a stubborn trait." Since when can you not have more then one trait? she can be stubborn and friendly.

Yeah she can, I never said she couldn't. She hasn't been stubborn in this thread at all in this thread or otherwise.

My name is literally a part of my Username, I've also gave away the country and city I live in. A quick Google search and you can probably find my home address and phone number.

I don't think giving out a name that has over 300,000 people in the US alone, is really dangerous.

Thank you! At least SOMEONE understands! Wow, this whole thing has made me go from super happy/cheerful to agitated and sarcastic! O.o

Most weird perverts I have met actually are quite young.. 

True, but she isn't giving out anything more than her gender and name

There are a million Crystals out there, how could the pervert find EXACTLY where she lives? He would need more information, like what state she lives in, her address, where she goes to school... 

My point is, nobody knows her on here, so she is safe

That's where your stubbornness kicks in.... She is idiotic enough to give out more information.

I don't think that word really means what you think it means. And putting your information online isn't idiotic, it depends on how much information you put online and who you give it too. Stating your gender and name does not make you an idiot.

stubborn

adjective: stubborn

1. having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good reasons to do so.

   "you're a silly, stubborn old woman"

   synonyms:

   obstinate, stubborn as a mule, mulish, headstrong, wilful, strong-willed,self-willed, pig-headed, bull-headed, obdurate, awkward, difficult, contrary,perverse, recalcitrant, refractory; More

   antonyms:

   compliant, docile

   • difficult to move, remove, or cure.

     "the removal of stubborn screws"

     synonyms:

     indelible, permanent, lingering, persistent, tenacious, fast, resistant "stubborn stains"

 

Thank you.

Maybe it's vice versa on the person who called me that...?

And btw, the crossed out part is impossible, I only leave my house when I need to go to school, come home at lunch WITH friend(s) and never leave unless it's for that reason! XD

@sethaniel #malkalack

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/writing-workshop/message/13420

No... I think I'm good compared to my friends, my age, my school. Not people who do this almost everyday. I'm just a kid so I know I'm bad compared to actual writer and experienced people, but compared to my school, and classmates that wouldn't ever pick up a pencil if it was their choice, I'm decent!

Why don't you make a nice game about something that isn't a crappy cat game?

Great, let me guess... You don't like cats? Or the Warriors series? Please don't judge people on what they like...

I judge people heavily on what they like. I hope others do the same in vice versa.

Having a game based on cats doesn't make it bad.

Like a crappy mouse game? :P

YESH YESH YESH I AM LAUGHING SO HARD YESH :3

How old are you? 

My estimate is nine. 

You don't need to publish a story, to get people to play it you know. Just enable Sneak Preview (Located in Storygame Properties(You might need Advanced Editor)) and then link the story in the forums.

Well, why don't you make another one about pink fluffy unicorns in a theme park saving the day! :D *Sarcasm*

Welcome to CYS, great to have you! Btw, as you might have already noticed, there have been some issues with Warrior Cats fans in the past, so not everyone likes them that much anymore... :P My advise is to just ignore them and try your best writing your stories. :)

I'm trying! But it's not very easy to when they start becoming your mom! I mean, why would they care about what I do?! O.o

Haha, that's the internet for ya. But yeah, it's kinda standard practice to derail forum threads like is happening here. Tough not that often in Newbie Central, I guess you should feel honored :P

And I am honoured, yep, totally... Ish. XD Lets hope it doesn't stay this way, I'm crossing my fingers!

My small question for the haters is: If you don't like Crystal, then why are you here at all? You should just go on with your lives and actually post something KIND for once. Of course, if you have nothing nice to say, then go ahead and Move along.

Thank you... It's exactly what I was thinking, but I didn't have the guts to say it... XD

I think almost all of us were thinking it, so no probs :3

Who's Crystal?  O.o

Ummm... Me...?

Oh.  Hi, I guess.

Well, as an answer to that, people here feel obligated to do so as a time-honored (or dishonored, give or take your optimism) tradition of taking punches at a franchise only a small demographic of the entire world would like <---(This is a backhanded insult, FYI).

I guess the main reason why the majority of us here, specifically, don't like WC is because the personification does almost nothing to change how cats really behave, and minus the sub-par supernatural aspects of the Clans' roles, there's nothing in there that we already don't know about nature : its denizens kill and destroy each other for survival, guaranteeing the next generation as the progeny of the first.  What's worse is that a bunch of old ladies (I have the right to say that, and relative to my age, it's true) have tried to release a very fluffy, no-thorns version of what natural life really is to a bunch of kids that don't know these correlations between fiction and real life (or are just beginning to see, though the skill to relate text to real-life takes years to perfect), mixed in with some strange take on Native American (as I can see it, spirit animals and reincarnation are pretty close to the general lore) culture...just doesn't get my reading lights blinking.

Oh, and don't get me started on the introduction of Shadowclan / whatever its name is.  That just brings bias to a world where no one faction should be truly good.  That's just raising kids to say "this guy is EVIL because he's unorthodox and doesn't stand even CLOSE to my beliefs!".

Yeah, no.

But, because this is the Internet...

"What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly - that is the first law of nature." -Voltaire

 

Welcome to the site! And don't mind the people who dislike WC just because we've had a ton of low quality WC games in the past. If you're willing to put effort into your games and effort into improving your writing, that's great to hear.

Hello Bluefur! I am Phoenix but my real name is Sam! 

I really like the warriors series too!

I made a storygame about warriors that I'm currently updating! I hope you'll enjoy it when it's done!

A little word of advice: Learn a bit about coding on this site so you can improve your games! Coding offers a wide variety of possible features that can really up the interest in your game! If you'd like, I can help you out a bit! I'll give you the link to my Warriors Storygame so you can test it out and see which features you like. Then PM me and I'll see what I can do to help!

 

Remember, people might not post nice things sometimes, but NEVER STOP BELIEVING IN YOURSELF! You are you, and that is amazing in and of itself! Keep dreaming, keep smiling, and keep believing!

 

-Phoenix AKA A good friend :) 

Here it is!

Check it out when you have the time!

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-warriors-game-2~2e0

Copy and paste the link into the URL bar and test out my game!

I'm sure you'll like it!

P.S Some links may not be complete and some pages may be blank. In this case, just click the "go back" button or the "start over/ reset" button to try out the other links to see if they're complete. When you're done, just let me know what you think!

:)

This is two months old haha

It marks the beginning of the death of CYS. 

She spawned a new wave of  furries. It had died down a while, but this... thing doomed us. 

Thanks... Glad to be of service... And yeah, I'm kinda enjoying the new members' stories. Hope more of them will come!

Stories? So that's what we're calling WC shit now? 

Guess so!

If you think these recent stories are "good stories" than I have to say you have NO taste in writing.

I want to say "hey, it's just you're opinion" and all that shit, but after going through 8 or so stories that have an average rating of a 2, seeing that comment is an outrage.

lol, 8 year olds and 18 years olds have different taste in literature. There's a huge grammar gap between them. I'm assuming all of them are really young children, and reading first grade books - thus they feel the WC fanfics are really good. Because to them, they are really good. And to us, they're literal shit. 

What about 13/14 year olds?

Does it matter?

When I first came, I was more of an exception.  But no, it shouldn't really.  :P

This is just too painful to read...

Alas, poor Bluefur... If she wasn't a putz and combined all three of those stories into one, it might have actually been... (I dare say)... worthy of a 4 or 5... But it's not, it's been serialized, which is annoying. You know what else is annoying about it? You have to be vague in the beginnings and ends so that your story will actually string together coherently. Bluefur, it feels like there's some hope for you, so I'll be frank with you, storygames are like sticks. If they're in little segments all lined up seperately, they easily break under pressure. If you make them all into one big stick, not only is it much stronger, but you have continuity now. Please take this advice, scrap it. Scrap the whole "Seperate storygame chapters" idea and write it into one really big game. You'll then have the capacity to add even more choices, and make the world's first good-quality WC fanfiction. You and you alone can save the soiled name of your beloved series, so at least TRY.

That's what I'm planning. But AFTER I finish it and get a decent amount of reviews telling me how to make it better, that way it'll be better. You don't want a long but crappy story now, do you?

Well, you might make it to level 6 in ratings if you add more details and use longer words. Make sure there's at least three main branches, too. You might also want to use the advanced editor, so you can see all the pages you have when you first head to the editing page, write multiple pages at once, and separate the story into actual chapters for orgnization. Riveting stuff! Also, with the advanced editor, you can use the magic of links and variables to make so,once you tell the game that you're stonepaw, the game will never require you to say your gender again. Only one link would be applicable! Absolutely no code is needed for that either, just 2 numbers and knowing which buttons to push will get you very far in the AV, so don't let it intimidate you.

Also, to generally improve your writing, you're a pretty okay speller, the biggest problem I have is that YOU NEED TO ADD DETAILS! Put in long, flowery explanations, whatever floats your boat, but if the cat walks into a desert make sure we're brushing sand out of our eyes when we're done reading about it. But definitely start by combining all the stories you currently have published, because separate chapters has time and time again proven to be A VERY BAD IDEA. I'm pretty sure not even Endmaster could pull it off and yet make it better than the combination of all of them.

STOP BASHING MY NEW APPRENTICE!

I think she has a wonderful start and with a few changes, she can make it great! All she really needs to do is add a few simple features and branch out more. I can help with that! I am determined to take this young WC fan under my wing and help her become a great WC storygame writer! All you who think her work is shit just don't see past the amateur writing common in beginners! Behind the amateur writing, cliched ending, and all around poor quality (no offense), I see a strong, brave young lady who is determined to create warriors storygames despite the negative opinions about them on the site! I believe that with a little help from a senior WC fan like myself, she can grow and blossom into the best frickin WC storygamer on this site! And anyone who thinks differently can look in the mirror and question the way they treat young, inexperienced, determined, brave dreamers who want nothing more than to make their games great! You should all be ashamed! (sorry nmelssx, but this goes for you too. No offense bro.)

 

She is strong! She is brave! And she's the greatest god damned dreamer with a crud-load of potential I have ever seen! 

 

Don't worry, Bluefur, I've got your back!  

If you actually took the time to read what I was saying, you'd know that I'm probably just as enthusiastic as you are. I believe she has the potential to do this all by herself, actually, if she does it the right way and not the serialized way.

I apologize for offending you Sentinel. 

 

Bluefur, I hope you like my WC storygame! The rest of you can check it out too if you want!

 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-warriors-game-2~2e0

 

still in progress but you can see what I have so far!

I'm not even offended, lol! Are you even reading my posts?

lol

and no not really, I was just skimming and I guess all I saw were the bad posts. lol! I'm so quick to judge, what's wrong with meeeeeeee??????

Thank you... You don't know how much that means to me...

Were they really that well written? Enough to deserve a score as high as a 5?

At the moment, I'm still getting out of the slump from having binge-read all of the newer stories which are frankly, just bad in general. As tempting as it is to read through what Bluefur has written, every time I see a WC story now, I cringe on the inside. I had so much hope for them when I first started and now it's just a pain. 

So really, I don't see reading Bluefur's story worth the effort at the moment.

I meant MY storygame, Eco. You can look at MY WC storygame if you want. And also, Bluefur's story wasn't very well written (no offense), and I didn't expect it to be since she's relatively new. But that doesn't mean she doesn't have potential! It was kind of crappy to be brutally honest, but I still think she's worth helping, because although the story wasn't great, it has hope and potential. And that's really all that matters! :)

 

 

 

Flying Spaghetti Monsters will take over the world. Get out the oregano!   

"You can look at MY WC storygame if you want."

Yeah um.. no, I'mma pass on that offer. 

"Bluefur's story wasn't very well written (no offense),..."

I highly doubt yours is any better to be brutally honest.

Seriously, I do quick run-by's of our members profile descriptions and use it as a rough gauge on how well they can write. Maybe I'm wrong, though that's rarely considering your fan-base has never failed to achieve mediocrity at best. Harsh? Maybe, but from my standpoint, it's true. Also, I think you're on unthreaded mode, hence why you believe I was replying to your post.

You little *takes deep breath*

Just check mine out will ya?

Mine is actually decent. It is based more on adventure than the linear life of a clan cat. 

You go on a mission with your character and based on your choices you either win or fail and there are many ways to succeed and to fail. It is not finished but you can see what I have so far. Don't be so quick to judge! >:(

It sounds interesting, but put yourself in not only my shoes, but our other community members as well. We're just sick of looking at the wasteland of failures, that build up with each passing day. Maybe I'm just in a foul mood, but the community members that drag themselves through the sludge of unoriginal, stale, horribly written, or outright broken stories eventually lose hope, especially in the WC series.

So I'll end it with what I said to another user who had blatantly refused to listen to my critiques with the generic "if you don't like it, don't read it" mentality.

"I urge you to prove me wrong. To show me that you're more than capable of just writing junk, but sadly, I know you're not capable of it."

If you can look at the writing objectively, yes, there's potential there. Not right now, but if it weren't in fragmented form, it might actually make 4 or 5, I'm telling you!

:)

 

BTW:

Do you know of any good RP games on site? I'm itching for some interactive RP!

Eh.. I'm surprised you're in such an optimistic mood. I guess I'll really have to check out her story if you deem it THAT praise worthy. After all, the average WC story ratings are what... a two? 

It's still a two right now, IMHO, but she's written a considerably long story, especially considering those "ten-page wonders" that everyone's been shitting out lately. If she put some extra effort into her writing and turned all the chapters into one game, she might have a game that'll make it out there.