Forums » Newbie Central » Read Thread

hi i am kitty cat i love kitty cats i am awesome :d :d :d

ok ill work on it thx :d :d :d

I'm fairly certain it's two midgets attempting to reach the toilet.

Anyhow, @kittycat , I'll offer you a chicken once I deem you worthy. (And by that I mean once I'm certain you're not a troll.)

Thanks for the heads up, they were updated after I'd gone on my fourth hiatus.

At least it won't look like it was directed at you, though on a completely different tangent did I ever offer you a chicken? :P

Did I ever get one?

Who do you think that is?  xD

Hmm...I don't automatically assume that everybody is an alt of somebody. Unless it's nmelssx.

It even says it in Izeraxer's profile.

Well, maybe this time...

Yep I'm Virt. An eighty-year-old asexual fe-man who offers free chicken on the streets in a little white van. (No ulterior motives whatsoever, I assure you.)

I offer all sorts of chicken, to all sorts of people. Roast chicken, fried chicken, spicy chicken, crunchy chicken, delhi chicken, browned chicken, baked chicken, broiled chicken, kosher chicken, and vegetarian chicken! Chickens for you, chickens for me, chickens for everyone! :D Such are the blessings granted to us mortals by the mighty Chicken God himself.

Here's a 100% vegetarian chicken for james:

And here's some grandma's chicken for IAP ^^ :

Can I have chicken that cures irectile dysfunction? This capybara isn't as young as he used to be. 

Thanks for the grandma's chicken.

One has to wonder about veggie chicken.  Do you pick it like pole beans or dig 'em like taters?

Welcome to ChooseYourStory.com and have a nice day.

Alright, I got this...

Than yoo four cumming tew see wye ass. You like slooshie wit dat?

“(Referring to Homer) He slept, he stole, he was rude to the customers, Still, there goes the best damned employee a convenience store ever had.” — Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

Here kitty, kitty...  heh heh heh

Welcome to CYS!

NEVER!

What is this curious creature that dwelt in the outer shadows, reading all our posts?

The 92nd black vampire cat to ever have lived (unlived? Living while dead?).

Well, if you ask google to actually define vamp, you'll note that she's actually the 92nd black cat whose skin has been used to replace or repair the worn upper front parts of boots and/or shoes.

*catch pole* 

Nah. Just going to take her to the Humane Society indefinitely. Where she will be euthanized. But it's not me doing the killing, and what else are we supposed to do? 

#DogCatcherLogic

Does it matter? This is the internet, after all.

The internet, unless it is closely monitored by strict tenets by the humans that build their kingdoms there, is a very lawless place. To avoid complete desolation and devourment by the karmatic monsters that lurk in the outer darkness, the sacrifice of any and all applicable jokes is needed to slake their thirsts and prolong our inevitable death.

Pff, who cares? Like I said, this is just the internet. Say what you remember of it, at least!

If it's not domesticated, kill it.

If it is domesticated, stick it in a cage a few days, then kill it.

If it bites someone, kill it and cut its fucking head off.

If someone owns it illegally, confiscate it and kill it.

If someone owns it illegally and it happens to be endangered, turn it over to the appropriate group for repopulation so that the numbers of its species will rise to the point that you will be called to kill its descendants for rummaging through someone's trash.

Remember, after killing it, describe the activity with the most inappropriate or degrading words you can, such as 'euthanize' or 'destroy'.

#AnimalControlLogic

But James! Animal  control is a necessity to society and most certainly not a cruel and unjust institution that holds non-humans to standards that are not only beyond their comprehension, but disproportionate to the few privileges they are allowed!!!!!!!

Nay, I was going to say that at some point in any animal control discussion you were involved in sometime. I genuinely wanted to hear/read what the joke was, though, since you made my train of thought revolve around what the joke was going to be until I couldn't focus on anything else.

I would use that particular argument in a silly fashion just to screw with you, but once an hour or two passed, I probably wouldn't use those exact words anymore because by then all of us would've moved on and the joke would've run drier than a TSR accusation towards this very user.

Cookies.  :d :d :d

'ello. I would advise that you work with sentence structure a bit. Capitalization, punctuation, variation in wording, things like that. This is a writing site you know. It wouldn't do to have someone make games that have great ideas and a basic plot line but have people completely distracted from the story because of all the errors in sentence structure.

Try something like this next time; 'Hi. I'm a kittty cat. Cats are my absolute favorite animal, they are so adorable! I am awesome. :D' It has a bit more variation in sentence starters, it has perfect capitulations, and punctuation.

You forgot to mention the overuse/misuse of superlatives.  ; )

Don't you mean: 'I am awesome. :d :d :d?' 

Nope. I think she meant: "I am awesome. :P :P :P". 

Hello and welcome!

Haha. Hi. 

Roar

YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO ANYMORE DAD!!!!!!! *runs away*

Haha we bark! cousins to the dogs! :D

Wait O.O i just ratted myself out! I lied we meow!!!!!

I thought only birds did that O.O ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME I'M PART BIRD?!?!?!?

O.O are not not my real father?!?!?!?! I'M A FULL BLOODED FOX!!!!!!!!

... I have a confession to make.

*tears off hologram projector*

I'M ACTUALLY A FOX! 

I was... in a time of great sexual confusion. 

But I'm back! Fuck you, Capy! I'm ready to worship... Foxy the Pirate Fox? 

*burns Sanders in effigy*

FOXY SHALL PREVAIL! 

Now that I can get behind. 

Ummm... I think I'd rather get a capybara. *quickly sorts through files marked "body swap" on computer* 

Hmm...

Camel.avi

Capybara.avi 
FOUND IT. 

Swapping species is easier than you think, when you have Capybara-tech. 

... Actually I just sort of wanted to screw your daughter. 

*quickly flips to "fox" and drags daughter into the burrow*

Gonna be occupied for the next little bit... 

1. not getting trapped.
2. not getting eaten.
3. not getting shot.
4. not getting poisoned
5. not getting hit by a car.
6. not getting killed and tested for rabies.
7. not actually getting rabies.
8. not getting distemper.
9. not getting mange.
10. not starving.
11. not being forced to let your kits starve.
12. not getting mauled by dogs for sport.
13. not getting killed for rummaging through someone's trash, despite the fact that you have no idea that what you are doing is secretly earning you the ire of someone much more powerful than you.
14. not living in Australia, where one or more of the things above will certainly happen to you, just because some sick British fucks wanted to watch your ancestors get mauled to death for sport and your ancestors just happened to be hardy enough to thrive in a place where most anything with a healthy sense of self preservation would not want to set foot.
15. not living in Russia, where you will be killed (if you're lucky) and have your skin turned into a coat while the rest of you is fed to other foxes.
16. not living in the United States, where you will be treated like nothing more than a statistic and/or government property and/or a walking, diseased jacket liner.
17. not living in Canada, fur trapping capital of the world.
18. not living in, well, most Asian countries. See Russia.

Actually, you know what? Just enjoy your fucking.

http://www.mercurynews.com/nation-world/ci_27087443/chicago-furry-convention-chlorine-gas-leak-sickens-19

Lol. Same. 

(Farmer Joe inspiration has arrived.) 

Behold your lord and savior.

GAH. FURRIES. NO FURRIES IS GOOD FURRIES. GAH. GAH. 

That escalated quickly

Alright, this thread has gone batshit insane. First, I've learned that James has had more kids then just my griffin grandchild(ren?), and that said kid is an actual fox who is apparently part human!? What is it with you and bipeds!? How come you sounded you were/pretended to be so inexperienced with that the time you did my daughter? Unless, of course, you cheated on her. Unless you broke up, which is perfectly feasible, since it was a shotgun wedding anyway. Either way, I'll have to try to kill you for at least a few days before quitting and letting everything go on as normal. I'll also have you know that my mom sort of, well, didn't have an anus. She was hired to protect a Siberian Lithium mine from some fierce terrorists. She was shot in the ass but still managed to kill several of them afterwards. (About 25 with her AK, 10 with her M1911 when that jammed, 2 with a nearby treebranch, 5 with her bare hands) It was damaged beyond repair, (as well as several of her internal organs) so her hips, stomach, and legs were mostly mechanical. It's a wonder I was born, really. The bullet missed the amniotic sack by one whole inch. Unfortunately, her new lower body eliminated any conventional definition of an anus entirely. Then she died when I was one. Partly from complications, since it was experimental medical tech anyway. The other part was from being brained by terrorist revenge assassins.

Also, Shibe Inus are only born from the anuses of other Shibe Inus. This is a fact of science, and therefore your religion is wrong.

Of course she was my real mother. You'll likely never forget passing through a rubber-and-steel vagina, even if you were a baby at the time, believe me! Wow, really? I thought sentient brains added a few decades to a creature's life span... That is, unless you were all sentient to begin with, which I highly doubt, since I don't think anyone could consider a steel trap with a steak attached anything close to an actual fox vagina, no matter how convincing the smell was... But I suppose, if they've never seen one before... Also, I'll never get why you enjoy being scratched behind the ears, but then again, I don't even have ears. Don't ask me how I can hear, I just do. It happens. It's a biological miracle, really.

It was a different time back then, I lived in the wilds of Ontario trying to avoid the countless Hitmen that were sent after me. It would be best to hide there until the heat was off, because I can only handle about 10 Gurkhas or 2 mech soldiers at any one time, and I didn't fancy getting my ass kicked from one end of the world to the other because The Man knew where I was at any given time. I took to trapping shit for food, and one time I stole Fox-Vagina-Scent from a Wilderness Survival shop, and used it to catch foxes. Eventually, they got wise to it, but attaching a steak to it seemed to be enough to convince them it was still a good idea to get their legs trapped in that thing.

Hey, they use the hormones of lactating bitches to calm down junkyard guard dogs all the time, fox vaginas should be nothing new.

Haven't you ever heard the old saying "Nothing calms the savage beast like music, but sometimes memories of its mother, or the chance to have sex, (not mutually exclusive) can have the same effect."?

#HopeFruedWasWrong

No, you should read erotica to them about them having sex with their own mothers. Maybe show them pictures of motherly types of their species and spraying Fox Vagina Scent everywhere.

ADDENDUM: Nevermind, this appears to piss them off even more... I'll get a smile out of you one day, Neighbor's Pitbull! Believe me I will!

Australian rants? Ooh, what abbout?

Foxes are seriously noble-looking. 

Actully, he has more of a "What the fuck am I reading!?" face pn.

*on

*Actually

... and ask him what he says.