You bombastic simpleton! Your escapades in absolute comprehensive buffoonery this day, shall be legendary in their foolhardiness!
I may be rusty and long-winded in my old age, but even now you should have known better than to challenge me in pointless dissertations on fictional voluptuousness!
The first example I am to dissect will be the most laughable one. The Hylians.
Hylians are their own thing. They don't follow anything except the most basic cues of being an elf. Nothing separates them from being human except that their royal family has magic powers, but that's a trope that applies with some variation to virtually any fantasy race. Hylians are also highly inconsistent on being anything like elves. Much of the pre-OOT art featured round-eared hylians, meaning that Hylians in the OG Zelda timeline looked like humans. By the time Windwaker rolled around, the Hylian gene pool was so human-esque that girls with long ears were thought to stand out to kidnappers. Gerudo are similarly inconsistent with ear shape. Do a lot of them have pointy ears? Yes, but Twinrova doesn't, and she's a hyperpowerful matriarch that raised the one who was destined to be king. And this is even in OOT, the game that started this whole pointy ears thing in official game artwork because triangle ears were easier to model.
I guess we have to determine what *defines* a stereotypical fantasy elf if we're going to go this far, so I'll lay out some ground rules on what makes an elf that we can all know for sure. These rules are very very generalised and cover everything from Warcraft elves, to tiny shoemakers, the little bug creatures from spiderwick, to the non-physical invisible folklore beings that are just living manifestations of the deep woods where no mortal man dare tread. If Hylians were elves, they'd at least be able to hit these marks.
1. Elves are NOT humans.
In the Hylian's case, this is false. Human and Hylian are used interchangeably in the series, and the distinction between the ones with round and pointy ears is mostly a fanbase-determined thing. Some people within the games point out the differences, but genetically they aren't viewed as a different species. In DnD Races, a Hylian would be a Variant Human, not an elf.
2. Elves are more magical than humans.
This also isn't a Hylian thing. Hylians were magical when they lived with the goddess hylia, but over time they lost this ability due to living on earth, and only certain people know how to do sorcery. Just like humans. It's never established that humans don't have magic of their own. It is established that other races in Hyrule do have magic of their own.
3. Elves are more in touch with nature or the essence of the world or something than humans.
Nope. Hylians do not appear to have any more supernatural connections than humans, and live pretty much exactly the same way humans do. They build castles, they farm crops, they live in fishing shanties in the great sea. The Kokiri are the ones who are bonded to the forest, and while Link is naturally affiliated with the forest on account of growing up with them in a past life, he isn't one of them. He's also a huge outlier in the general population of hylians.
4. Elves are either shorter or taller than humans.
No.
5. Elves are an older species than humans.
This isn't touched on in lore.
6. Elves live longer than humans.
We don't have any real basis to assume whether the Hylian lifespan is longer than the "human" one. Because they're pretty much the same aside from ears, and they live alongside "humans" pretty regularly, and there's not very much of anything differentiating them as separate races it's safe to assume that they live about the same amount of time.
7. Elves have a separate origin from humans.
This one's a bit touchy, because the origin of the Hylians is clearly stated, but none of the other Human-adjacent races are explained. Like, maybe they all came about when the goddess of courage created the beings who would uphold the law, but in that case there isn't much separating a Gerudo from a Goron or a DIRTY FISH-PERSON, because they are all sapient beings with societies, and all demonstrably have some form of law. What makes a Hylian different? Once upon a time, they lived in Hyrule with the goddess Hylia. But there are round-ear HUMANS in their number, so what gives?
Hylians are variant humans, Gerudo are also variant humans. They don't stack up against the other rules either. They aren't more magical or more natural than humans, we know that gerudos age but the only old Gerudo we actually see is an immortal God Witch, so we can assume that most Gerudos die before they even get that far. Most of them don't wield magic, and while they have adapted their civilization to desert living, it's in the same way that humanity would, in architecture and infrastructure rather than magic and biology. They're just weird humans, and therefore don't apply, since they come in all the shapes and sizes humans normally do, as you would expect.
Sylvanas's body type changes between artists, so it's hard to tell what her body type "really" is even when artists try to give her a "realistic" rendering unrestrained by the limitations of the in-game models. She also wears metal pants, which will make anybody's legs look wider than they are.
Elves in Warcraft do have wide hips, but everyone in Warcraft has a porn star body type unless they're a dwarf or a panda. They're still noticeably more willowy and slender than other humanoids, even the intentionally gangly trolls.
I'll let you have the dragon quest one because I've never seen nor heard tell of this nonsense weeb game.
But there are other games where this is just as true. Let's go through all the games I know of that have Elves in them:
Dragon Age: Elves are typically of slighter build than most other races, with few outliers just because of body sliders. An especially thick elf will not be wider than an especially thick human.
The Elder Scrolls Series: everybody has essentially the same body types available unless this is early in the series and you're an argonian with weird feet. However, Skyrim Elves typically have bony and elongated faces which usually implies a skinny build, and indeed often translates to the NPCs with them.
Warhammer Fantasy Games: They aren't portrayed as being that different from typical humans from the neck down, which also means they don't have these alleged mythical elf hips. They also wear armor that purposefully makes them look curveless, sleek, and elongated when they can help it. Unless they're the kind that runs around naked screaming at people, but even then, a Warhammer Human wearing that same outfit would look similar.
Dungeons and Dragons: Artwork is inconsistent. Either this trope is employed in most editions or they're doing it in the more 70s style where elves are portrayed just as humans with long ears and hairspray.
Pathfinder: It's literally shown in the handbook.
Baldur's Gate: Uses DnD Elves, but portrays them as either slimmer than or very similar to humans in body type.
Heretic: The protagonist is built like a brick shithouse. Graphic musculature ripples all over his body in folds like the horrifying sweaty murder machine he is. His hips are the smallest part of his torso.
Eye of the Beholder: 70s DnD Elf rules; Elves are just humans with ears and inordinately big hair, no significant difference in build.
Might and Magic: Ditto.
Menzoberranzan: Ditto.
Elf the licensed video game: Will Ferrel is portrayed as a standard 30 year old man dressed like a faggot.
Elf Bowling: Elves are not portrayed as being any less portly than the human throwing balls at them, but they are all uniformly thicc by human standards, so I guess you win THIS one.
TL;DR: Being thicc or having wide hips is not portrayed as a specifically elven trait, and if anything the opposite is true.
Congratulations! You found one of the EGGS!
