...ok filling up space with random stuff... but while we have this here yeah it's very good. Maybe you could make more use of this thread with a detailed review? I'll start with one let me pull that story game up...
Note: maybe don't spam many threads like this is won't help
First of all this is kind of unrelated but how do you add an extra option up top like Avery did with the STATS button? Anyway, immediately I see good emotional elements and great grammar and spelling.
The mention of the cold hard floor gives us a glimpse into their situation, even if it's just a sentence it says a lot about how they're either very poor, treated badly by their parents, or both. This is good.
Right off the bat, you're starting with some customization for our character. Something many stories lack and that I'm also working on it options that will affect the whole story like this and the reader's ability to decide to some degree what kind of person they are.
I don't know if this affects anything besides what you're called in the story, but I chose the girl option with the name Echo in case that means I don't see something.
This part has good characterization and has a chance for beginning approval with Alexius. It also gives some background info.
This is just my opinion, but I think the part leading up to the reader and Alexius going to Greece would make more sense as the intro instead of the beginning chapters.
I think the bread part is really good, but I think there should be an option to split the bread up and it doesn't really affect the rest of the story and is really only useful is you want to boast lots of approval.
AH! NO! It's chapter six, but since the page names are the same for the same chapters I can't say the exact one but I got it when you're trying to impress Rhode and Titus and I did javelins badly, since I spread my abilities out I'm not exceptional enough at one thing to get a good result from any of the options but anyway on the last paragraph it says defiantly where I think they meant to put definitely.
I found a glitch. I was in the part where you talk to people. I talked to Alexius in order top to down than gave him the apple, talked to Lula up to down and gave her the brush, talked to Zeru up to down and gave him the candle, talked to Gerda, and when talking to Brasus I somehow had the option to give him the apple again which I already gave to Alexius and didn't gave that option with the others.
Ah, now that I'm reading this again I'm remembering something I was annoyed about before. If you do the option where you discuss battle strategies, the team doesn't actually use it in the arena.
Oh! I got a different result than last time I played, I've played this a lot yet somehow missed this outcome. Lol, Lula misusing swears XD.
Going back to the basics, it has a really good plot and characterization and stuff and it's really engaging. As I said, I've read this multiple times and I usually only read a story once and forget about it. This was the first story I read, months ago, and I've read a couple hundred stories since, but I remember this one best and it's my favorite and I'm not bored going through it again. Very good.
There's some paragraphs here and there that are more like big blocks, just a quick nitpick.
Ok! That was really good! I can't wait until the next one, and for now I'll copy and past this review into a comment on the actual storygame where the author can make use of it.
EDIT: also don't spam many comments on a story I just saw yours...
Also! It's making such great games not doing such great games and he/she only has one story game.
