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Cabuvan Jarak is a sixteen year old boy who lives in a fantasy land where everyone belongs to a faction. Cabuvan was born in a small island off the coast off of the modern-day Gulf of Mexico and, at age eleven, was sent to the house Thornefall due to the results of his aptitude testing.

Only two weeks after his sixteenth birthday, Cabuvan mysteriously disappeared. Only after Cabuvan's confirmed death did they find his cold, lifeless body in the frigid waters below the Iceball rink. Of what causes, they haven't ever found the answers to.
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Cornelia Burnacchi is a twelve-year-old girl of Italian origin. She was born in modern-day Turkey and was raised by her Italian parents. When she was only a preschooler, she was told to take the aptitude test, although the dictator running her country had declared underage testing illegal. 

Cornelia knew of the new law, but refused to follow it. She daringly took the test and snuck away in the middle of the night to a hidden location to withdraw the results of her testing. She wound up with the adventurous house of Blueforge. She accepted her new place in Blueforge but had many obstacles to overcome as the smallest of the house members. 
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The mystery of the Ghost of Thrornefall (as it was called) was never solved...but one thing remains:

Only one can break the curse.

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Can Cornelia break the curse before it's too late?

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This is the first well-thought stories I've ever had. Please take this with consideration, seeing as this will be my first major accomplishment...and more information on the backstory will be posted later.

So, what do y'all think? I need to get my notes, so feel free to talk about this until I get back...happy constructive criticism!

I think it's a good start for a story concept, although I'm a little confused about some things. What are the aptitude tests for, for a start?

The aptitude tests are to see which House you belong to.

But what is the aptitude test measuring aptitude at and what's the significance of belonging to a specific house?

The significance of belonging to a specific house determines what job you get when you're older. Sometimes people are held back in the houses because they failed...or worse, executed. But the test measures aptitude based on different areas of the brain being triggered by different questions, ex: a part of your brain being triggered in response to anger or sympathy.

@Madbrad200
@31TeV
@Bluefur

I am in need of assistance.

Can't forget you, @TheNewIAP .

Or @ecoLyte .

Ahh, I got all jolly then, eating some salad, waiting to see what this new adventurous notification would turn out to be. Alas, at 3am and with my new found attention span, I fear I will not be of help. That, and I'm not really in the position to give advice and I'm not really into mystery/horror etc. type stories. I only played GOLAD so I could get this badge of pride on my profile signifying I beat the fucker, pardon by britishness (though I may have cheated a little bit...).

As Tev said, the story idea is good, even if the summary is a bit shaky. There is a distinct lack of information that leaves some important questions unanswered, such as who is this Cabuvan? Why is he so important? And what happens if it is "too late"? Though of course you should leave some mysteries for the reader to find out on his/her own, the summary doesn't really form a cohesive conflict or plot, just a bit of backstory for Cornelia and the setting.

Good ideas, and I'm glad to see you starting on a story! Cheers and good luck! My advice is to take your work slowly, and make sure your work is quality before releasing. Oh, and splitting the story into parts/episodes isn't a good idea either, so ensuring that you have a complete piece of literature is important!

Right, right, I see what you're saying! Will do! I might even post my progress here...but I'm glad to see people anticipating the final piece. Thanks!

I like what you have so far.  ...and ecoLyte already addressed the concerns I had, so I thought I might just give you a few more questions to think about to help you develop your characters and plot.

What is Cornelia's motivation for trying to break the curse?   Is it "just because it's there", or is there some deeper, meaningful reason?  What are the risks?  The rewards?  Who benefits if the curse isn't broken?  How far are they willing to go?

This may be more in-depth than you really want, but these types of questions can mean the difference between a ho-hum narrative and one that readers really enjoy and remember.