Forums » Writing Workshop » Read Thread

Grab your boarding axes - this one's going to be a pirate story.

Set in the Caribbean and Americas during the Golden Age of Piracy, play as Fátimah Azarola, a young woman hardened by life and sea alike, as she attempts to claw her way to wealth and fame. Experience historical events, commit mass murder, find treasure and rut like a sea dog as you embrace depravity and scour the sea for all it's worth.

Riddles and possibly simple puzzles will be worked into the plot of the story. So this is likely to be much more story than game.

I write slower than a three legged turtle, so hopefully, I can spur myself on to completion by the deadline.

Status: First Page (Initial Draft) Complete

Augh, I want this as an 8/8 length epic. You better swear you'll go and write an expanded version after the contest is done...

I've wanted to write a story in this setting for awhile. It didn't take long to determine this is going to be a 7/8 in maturity.

That's a warning for anyone who is offended by words :)

Tentative Page ONE:

The horizon gleams a brilliant blood orange, fading into a blossoming bruise of purple, black and blue on the far fringes of the swaying sea.

‘Red sky at night, sailor’s delight.’

The ancient rhyme lingers in the back of your mind as you watch the sun sink beneath the waterline. With such beauty all around, you can think of no place you would rather be. Two years a pirate, and finally, the prestige of command glimmers within your grasp.

Water churns in a violent spray as a bull shark rips bloody chunks of flesh from the English privateer captain. Had the mad bastard surrendered like a good dog – he would have earned a cleaner death. Alas, he belongs to the sea now.

You lean against the rail on the forecastle of the gallant prize: a 28-gun frigate with two full decks, three masts and square sails. Most pirates would have turned tail and fled at the sight, but you convinced Captain Bello to share in your insanity. Surely, the crew will vote you captain of Bello’s old vessel, as he claims the frigate for his own.

A pair of firm hands grope your breasts from behind. And you feel a stiffening cock grind against your buttocks. “Fátimah, your voluptuous ass shakes marvelously with the rocking of the sea, and your tits are soft as heaven’s own pillows in my hands. Please, we must celebrate as lovers should!”

You throw an elbow, catching the man in the gut. He gasps and staggers backward. But you do not even bother to turn around.

“You need some new lines, Nico. I heard that one last month.”

Nico slumps against the rail beside you. A big, stupid grin mars his face. “And the month before, and the month before that. I know it’s your favorite.”

“If you say so,” you say, rolling your eyes. Still, you cannot keep the hint of a smile from your lips. “Have the votes been cast? Am I Captain Fátimah Azarola now? Or am I still simply Fátimah, ex-slave, former whore, renowned cocksucker and bloody cunt?”

“Ah, about that. Seems there’s been a fucking five way tie.”

“You’re a lying shit.”

“I’d call me the same if I were in your boots, but it’s the truth of the matter, unlikely as it is. Bello wants the five of you lot in his new cabin for dinner. Says he’s got a little test to decide who gets his deciding vote.”

“What kind of test?”

Nico shrugs. “Guess you’ll find out soon enough, eh?”

“I deserve this! If it weren’t for me, we’d be sailing straight for Havana like children clamoring for a mother’s teat.” You raise a fist to slam against the rail… but you come to your senses and lower your arm before you break something. “Fuck. Fine. I’ll just have to win his thrice damned test.”

“I agree. You do deserve this.” Nico drops his typical tone of carless whimsy. He rests a hand on your shoulder, and stares straight into your eyes. Before, they always seemed to fall somewhat lower. “Can you promise me something? When you win, take me as a member of your crew.”

...

I'm thinking some early choices may impact the nature of the story in regards to your backstory relationship with some characters. In this case, your response may dictate whether your relationship with Nico is mutually scandalous and depraved, or if you've just been putting up with his bullshit and secretly hope he gets castrated during a boarding action. Or something.

A story just isn't a proper story without the threat of someone getting disemboweled or mutilated.

Anyway, this is the only teaser I plan on putting here. I'll probably just update page or word counts.

Damn, there's some good writing here. Lucky for the rest of us that can be a handicap with a deadline this short!

If anyone has a problem with the maturity levels, at least they can't claim they didn't know what they were getting into after the first page alone.

Thanks! And yeah, it takes a good deal of time for me to write quality pages. I've tried some writing exercises to speed things up before, like the write-or-die stuff, but it just makes me panic. And then I get mad... so I just piddle at my dying turtle pace :)

Hahaha, so true.

I think it's hard to go wrong with a pirate theme really, although it's been done a lot of times, so I'll be interested to see what twists you have there. Then again, there haven't been a lot of pirate stories on CYS so it would be fantastic to have one that might inspire a few others to write about that sub-genre here. 

The way you're allowing the choices to influence the characterisation sounds both ambitious, and very promising if it can be done. I will definitely keep my eyes peeled for this story.

Sounds great so far. Can't wait to play! Very good first page...

Progress:

10 pages/??? Though some may need tweaking.
1 Riddle/Puzzle Thing implemented into the plot/???

8 of the pages are variations of the same scene, depending on how the reader attempts to answer the first problem, so it's not quite as far along in a vertical sense as I'd like to be.

YES PIRATES

Any complaints if I stick in an 'a man' reference? I've got the perfect character in mind too.

The only thing youll get from me is my undying love

PROGRESS:

20 'ish' pages/???

Two main storylines are fully conceptualized on paper. They're short enough that I should be able to complete them, yet long enough to provide an adequate experience for the reader. Multiple endings have been earmarked as potential plot points for an expanded story sometime after the contest is complete.

A third storyline has partial conceptualization on paper. Ideally, I manage to complete this as well, but this will receive no further attention until the two former lines are finished. (Likelihood of this arc making the deadline is low.)

Oh cool, so an adventure story with some puzzles dotted around? I like it.

Taking a short break before I dive back in...

The initial dilemma (and possibly your interaction with some of the characters) impacts which storyline you proceed along. Character interaction impact may get cut if I run short on time. But the initial dilemma is a sort of riddle like test.

In order of precedence.

Storyline 1 features a somewhat puzzle-esque (in a deductive reasoning sense)/strategy battle plan & a couple throw away riddle references - you make most of your choices upfront, before the real action plays out

Storyline 2 doesn't really feature a puzzle, but it contains a significant historical event if you play it right - a very macabre path

Storyline 3 has two puzzles, but this path can be closed off easiest - so it's taking less precedence and unlikely to get finished for the contest draft

A 4th storyline would admittedly help close off the initial dilemma better, but there's no way that's happening in the contest draft.

Sounds good, I really like that your story will not be very linear and I imagine it would have a lot of room to be developed after the contest too.

40ish pages complete. Need a productive day of writing tomorrow.
-----

@mizal

I'm liking the story, so it will likely get an extension at some point in time after the contest. I have a ton of things I'll want to re-write, add depth to, smooth over, characterize, etc. Plus, some paths that I won't have near enough time for. I don't know if it will be the 8/8 epic, but it will be improved and more fluid. The perfectionist in me desperately wants to go back and re-write everything that I have now... but I locked him in the basement with Steve for the week.

Oh, is that who the new guy is? He just keeps polishing my chains. You can't polish blood-stained rust, you fool! Get him out of here! I'm not going to fix the bugs at the inspection at Romulus in Achilles, it's too fucked up! CURSE YOU, BUCKY'S PERFECTIONIST!

Well, I let him out on a probationary level.

I decided to focus only on the initial puzzle-riddle-sort-of-thing-a-ma-bob and the two diverging arcs of Storyline #1. This should give me time to work more on characterization and allow for an initial re-write of most (hopefully all) pages.

Quality > Quantity

But thanks for keeping him entertained, Steve. He says he admires your chains.

Early on Saturday morning I came to the inevitable conclusion that my ambition for this story well exceeded my ability to finish it in time for the contest. New features kept demanding I put them in, I decided to make part of it a game portion and expanded far too much time scripting, I shut off one storyline only to expand the main... ugh.

One specific example, I was working on creating a riddle game with complete player control and randomization. It goes as follows.

Protagonist has a list of 15 predetermined riddles and selects one to ask 1 of 3 in participating characters in the story.

First riddle goes to character A, second to character B, third to Character C, then fourth back to character A... and so on until all 15 are used.

Randomization scripting determines if the character gets the answer correct, each character has a different success rate.

If the character gets the answer correct... the in game protagonist has a punishment

If the character gets the answer incorrect... the protagonist must insert the correct answer - if the protagonist inserts the correct answer, the specified character gets a punishment in the story - if the protagonist gets the answer wrong, she loses (since she asked the riddle, so she know it)

Then there is the overarching in game punishment for characters that get all 5 wrong, or for the protagonist if the characters collectively answer 5 correctly.

While not quite as complicated as I may have made that sound, my goal was/still is to create personalized pages for every possibility. That means 2/character/riddle.

2x3x15 = 90 + the punishment pages

So yeah... My ambition outran my sanity in regards to the time-frame and scope of the contest. And this was just one mini-game that there is only a 25-33% the player would actually see.

----

But I still wanted to submit a token entry for the contest, so with the last two days, I poured my entire weekend into creating something shorter... Almost got there too. There's a solid 50 pages or so, as of now, with a good bit of game portion. I could probably finish it by the deadline to an extent that it's playable and an enjoyable read... and here comes the BUT.

But, I think I owe the story a little more than that. I won't have the amount of spare time in the upcoming weeks as I did last, but if I take my time and finish it proper, I believe this could be a great story versus merely a good story. So I'm going to take my time with this and polish it to a nice shine.

If anyone is interested, it's an island survival with parts both story and game, where the protagonist washes ashore with no memory who or where she is. Survive, collect supplies, craft stuff, don't die, explore the island, find stuff that triggers memories, learn about your past and either escape or find a reason worth staying.

So yeah once more. The scope of this bloomed a little too fat too. Clearly, I'm absolutely horrible with deadlines. But I think it can be reasonably expected that I complete this to the standard I want by mid to late March. (With no longer having a hard deadline, I may add a few extra flairs in there.)

After this, I'm going back to work on Salt of the Sea, which I've decided to commit to as an epic, with both story and game features. I'll have to redo the outline (I lost the original mid-week, which certainly didn't help anything. The bloody thing is in my house... somewhere, but where specifically has alluded me at all angles.) I won't have a time frame for this until I finish the island story and draft my new outline... I guess I'll make periodic updates since this thread has already been up, and I've seemed to have received decent interest from both inside and outside the CYS community.

---

TLDR: I suck and am extremely disappointed in myself. I want to offer the community an apology, as it leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth when I commit to something and fail to be able to follow through. You can consider it both a promise and guarantee that both of these stories will be completed with high priority.

@Sethaniel - A personal apology to you, since I had been buggering you recently about a new contest, and when you offered one, I failed to complete an entry.

What you've detailed sounds pretty good, but also quite complicated. I know the feeling, I only got in my story within 24 hours of the deadline (and it still has lots of typos). Usually keeping it simple works best when writing under a deadline, I didn't even touch variables/items/scripting until about 24 hours before I published my story.

You suck.

Kidding! That sounds pretty cool, I was looking forward to a pirate story (there's never enough pirate stories). I can certainly understand, I've often had stories that take on a life of their own and I've had to squash them before to meet deadlines, too.

Good luck with keeping going on the story, I do hope it comes out better than you expect and truly is a great story!

Looking foward to the pirate game immensley. Island Survival also sounds fun. We have one already, but its by beta's brother and is absolute shit. We need an actually good one lol

Hey, no apologies needed, I'm excited about both stories and would rather see them released completed and in a state you're happy with than rushed for a deadline.

Why do I do this to myself? I hate scripting. I just inserted this entire block of mind numbing drudgery into one stupid link for this stupid island game.

I'm still hoping I can have the island game done by the end of March. I keep adding crap to it, and that's not helping (so no promises on a March 31st deadline). I'm not making fast progress as it is, but I've been managing to do a little something most every day on it, whether that's writing a new page or two, or tackling some of the stupid scripting and variable inputs.

Part of the game is circular in nature, as I reuse all the pages for daily activity and whatever resource you want to gather any given day. But you get to explore the sea, beach, jungle fringes and jungle depths as well, and to decrease the linear aspect of the game, what you find is completely randomized for the section you are exploring, versus, finding A then B then C. Because that would just suck. This stupid block of script is what serves to remove something you found from the pool. If you don't find certain crap before you move to a more "branching story" part of the game, then you'll get a different end outcome, assuming you don't die first. (If you die in the game part, I'm probably going to make you start over, since I think a lot of the fun will come from seeing how your findings affect the end of the story portion.)

Eh... April may be a more realistic time frame, now that I think about it.

Anyway, I mostly just wanted to gripe about the monotony below, so you'll have to excuse me while I go bang my head against a wall.

%RAND := 1D15
IF %J1 = 0 AND %RAND = 1 THEN $DEST := @P23
IF %J2 = 0 AND %RAND = 2 THEN $DEST := @P24
IF %J3 = 0 AND %RAND = 3 THEN $DEST := @P25
IF %J4 = 0 AND %RAND = 4 THEN $DEST := @P27
IF %J5 = 0 AND %RAND = 5 THEN $DEST := @P26
IF %J6 = 0 AND %RAND = 6 THEN $DEST:= @P28
IF %J7 = 0 AND %RAND = 7 THEN $DEST:= @P34
IF %J8 = 0 AND %RAND = 8 THEN $DEST:= @P30
IF %J9 = 0 AND %RAND = 9 THEN $DEST:= @P41
IF %J10 = 0 AND %RAND = 10 THEN $DEST:= @P33
IF %J11 = 0 AND %RAND = 11 THEN $DEST:= @P47
IF %RAND = 12 THEN $DEST:= @P38
IF %J19 = 0 AND %RAND = 13 THEN $DEST:= @P37
IF %J20 = 0 AND %RAND = 14 THEN $DEST:= @P36
IF %RAND = 15 THEN $DEST:= @P35

IF %RAND = 1 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P24
IF %RAND = 1 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P25
IF %RAND = 1 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P27
IF %RAND = 1 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P26
IF %RAND = 1 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P28
IF %RAND = 1 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P34
IF %RAND = 1 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P30
IF %RAND = 1 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P41
IF %RAND = 1 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P33
IF %RAND = 1 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 1 AND %J11 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P47

IF %RAND = 2 AND %J1 = 0 AND %J2 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P23
IF %RAND = 2 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P25
IF %RAND = 2 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P27
IF %RAND = 2 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P26
IF %RAND = 2 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P28
IF %RAND = 2 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P34
IF %RAND = 2 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P30
IF %RAND = 2 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P41
IF %RAND = 2 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P33
IF %RAND = 2 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 1 AND %J11 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P47

IF %RAND = 3 AND %J1 = 0 AND %J3 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P23
IF %RAND = 3 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 0 AND %J3 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P24
IF %RAND = 3 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P27
IF %RAND = 3 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P26
IF %RAND = 3 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P28
IF %RAND = 3 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P34
IF %RAND = 3 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P30
IF %RAND = 3 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P41
IF %RAND = 3 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P33
IF %RAND = 3 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 1 AND %J11 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P47

IF %RAND = 4 AND %J1 = 0 AND %J4 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P23
IF %RAND = 4 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 0 AND %J4 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P24
IF %RAND = 4 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 0 AND %J4 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P25
IF %RAND = 4 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P26
IF %RAND = 4 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P28
IF %RAND = 4 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P34
IF %RAND = 4 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P30
IF %RAND = 4 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P41
IF %RAND = 4 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P33
IF %RAND = 4 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 1 AND %J11 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P47

IF %RAND = 5 AND %J1 = 0 AND %J5 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P23
IF %RAND = 5 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 0 AND %J5 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P24
IF %RAND = 5 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 0 AND %J5 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P25
IF %RAND = 5 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 0 AND %J5 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P27
IF %RAND = 5 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P28
IF %RAND = 5 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P34
IF %RAND = 5 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P30
IF %RAND = 5 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P41
IF %RAND = 5 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P33
IF %RAND = 5 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 1 AND %J11 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P47

IF %RAND = 6 AND %J1 = 0 AND %J6 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P23
IF %RAND = 6 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 0 AND %J6 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P24
IF %RAND = 6 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 0 AND %J6 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P25
IF %RAND = 6 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 0 AND %J6 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P27
IF %RAND = 6 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 0 AND %J6 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P26
IF %RAND = 6 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P34
IF %RAND = 6 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P30
IF %RAND = 6 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P41
IF %RAND = 6 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P33
IF %RAND = 6 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 1 AND %J11 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P47

IF %RAND = 7 AND %J1 = 0 AND %J7 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P23
IF %RAND = 7 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 0 AND %J7 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P24
IF %RAND = 7 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 0 AND %J7 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P25
IF %RAND = 7 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 0 AND %J7 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P27
IF %RAND = 7 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 0 AND %J7 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P26
IF %RAND = 7 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 0 AND %J7 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P28
IF %RAND = 7 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P30
IF %RAND = 7 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P41
IF %RAND = 7 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P33
IF %RAND = 7 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 1 AND %J11 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P47

IF %RAND = 8 AND %J1 = 0 AND %J8 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P23
IF %RAND = 8 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 0 AND %J8 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P24
IF %RAND = 8 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 0 AND %J8 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P25
IF %RAND = 8 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 0 AND %J8 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P27
IF %RAND = 8 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 0 AND %J8 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P26
IF %RAND = 8 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 0 AND %J8 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P28
IF %RAND = 8 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 0 AND %J8 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P34
IF %RAND = 8 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P41
IF %RAND = 8 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P33
IF %RAND = 8 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 1 AND %J11 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P47

IF %RAND = 9 AND %J1 = 0 AND %J9 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P23
IF %RAND = 9 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 0 AND %J9 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P24
IF %RAND = 9 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 0 AND %J9 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P25
IF %RAND = 9 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 0 AND %J9 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P27
IF %RAND = 9 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 0 AND %J9 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P26
IF %RAND = 9 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 0 AND %J9 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P28
IF %RAND = 9 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 0 AND %J9 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P34
IF %RAND = 9 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 0 AND %J9 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P30
IF %RAND = 9 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P33
IF %RAND = 9 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 1 AND %J11 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P47

IF %RAND = 10 AND %J1 = 0 AND %J10 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P23
IF %RAND = 10 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 0 AND %J10 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P24
IF %RAND = 10 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 0 AND %J10 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P25
IF %RAND = 10 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 0 AND %J10 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P27
IF %RAND = 10 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 0 AND %J10 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P26
IF %RAND = 10 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 0 AND %J10 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P28
IF %RAND = 10 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 0 AND %J10 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P34
IF %RAND = 10 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 0 AND %J10 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P30
IF %RAND = 10 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 0 AND %J10 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P41
IF %RAND = 10 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 1 AND %J11 = 0 THEN $DEST := @P47

IF %RAND = 11 AND %J1 = 0 AND %J11 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P23
IF %RAND = 11 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 0 AND %J11 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P24
IF %RAND = 11 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 0 AND %J11 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P25
IF %RAND = 11 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 0 AND %J11 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P27
IF %RAND = 11 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 0 AND %J11 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P26
IF %RAND = 11 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 0 AND %J11 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P28
IF %RAND = 11 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 0 AND %J11 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P34
IF %RAND = 11 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 0 AND %J11 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P30
IF %RAND = 11 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 0 AND %J11 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P41
IF %RAND = 11 AND %J1 = 1 AND %J2 = 1 AND %J3 = 1 AND %J4 = 1 AND %J5 = 1 AND %J6 = 1 AND %J7 = 1 AND %J8 = 1 AND %J9 = 1 AND %J10 = 0 AND %J11 = 1 THEN $DEST := @P33

Holy crap, that is amazing. The number of different outcomes and how every single variable can change it has my jaw hitting the floor.

I am really, really hyped for this game now. Gimme all the futile wandering in circles adventures. XD

I hope it lives up to the hype.

I actually noticed I had to add two more lines after posting that (admittedly, part of my motivation for posting that was to view it easier and scan for omissions.)

By itself, that script is not as impressive as it appears, since I'm basically just adding a +1 variable value for that specific page once you find its random place in the area you are exploring. The Script just serves as a progression so that if a random roll of 4 occurs, but you've already been to the page that had 4 assigned to it, it'll progress through until there's a place you haven't been yet. I've found I have to be very specific with my script commands because I can't get the ELSE command to work properly, and a conjunction of > AND < in the same script doesn't seem to work for me either, and I've given up trying to figure out why. The specific ones seem to work without a hitch though.

Most will loop back to the remainder of your day, having granted a memory or new food source, but a few I have pegged for additional choices.

I haven't decided how extreme I want to go with the endings, but I have a few key locations/memories that will alter certain endings once you get to the story section. Which I think will be a little more interesting, since I plan on allowing the player the option to leave the game section early if they find any of a certain handful of places. But I want to get the entire game portion functional and fill in the few straggler memory pages before I dive into the heavy writing. Scripting bores the crap out of me, so I can only do it in small doses.

No wonder - I couldn't help but think that an ELSE IF cascade would have made your life a lot easier. Have you tried throwing in a bunch of 'BEGIN's and 'END's to bracket everything? That usually fixes the problem for me when I can't get my scripts to run right.

Still, this looks like so much more fun than the linear 'Find A' then 'Find B' then 'Find C', so all your hard work in scripting will be worth it!

Is all of this needed to make sure you can't get the same random result twice? Because I wanted to do something similar in my own game about exploring a ruined city, but, my eyes kind of glazed over immediately. So, that may not be happening.

I'm even happier you didn't wind up entering this one in the contest, though, now that you're sharing more of what it's morphing into. Getting a rough, hacked up version of this instead of what you're making now would've been disappointing.

I was working on a similar idea in Salt of the Sea for one small subsection, which is what cost me days of time and lead me to realize I'd never finish in time. I had this set up and working within the two days I was working on the original island story, but I was only eliminating 5 random events from two separate pools. As of now...

Jungle fringes has 11 unique randomized locations
Junge depths has 6 unique randomized locations
Beach has 6-8 unique randomized pages
Sea has 2 unique randomized locations

I don't have them all written yet, but the originals were all done. I have an ISLAND I AND ISLAND II in my editor, and everything I had is slowly getting transferred over to II. Because I want to save the guts of the script, but I added so many new tools/variables, I was too flustered to try and go through and redo them, fearing I'd miss some that needed changed.

I'm almost certainly stopping with these locations though. Writing the script doesn't take too terribly long once you know what you're doing and if you use 'Control F' - replace and copy paste, so you don't have to retype entire blocks, just change certain numbers. But it's just so freaking boring. I haven't tested it for jungle fringes yet, but it worked before, so unless I mistyped something, it should be good.

If you want I could send you a detailed rundown in a PM for how I've been doing it. There's probably a simpler way, but I know this way works. I'm never using the stupid ELSE command again.

Feel free to dump giant blocks of code in my inbox, I'm not entirely sure at this point how complicated I'm going to get with my own project (just got kind of a hacky system with random events that don't even technically have you leaving the page at this point) but I'm sure any of that will come in handy for referencing. 

Holy shit. Reminds me of BZ's mountain of code for DS, ha ha

It's set in the Salt of the Sea universe and in the same year. Just saying ;)

Yes!

Too... many... symbols...

My brain has almost fried trying to comprehend what all of that means.

Sounds good to me.
 

I guess I'll keep updating the Island story here periodically, if for no other reason than to keep it fresh on the fire so I don't laze off with it. Because the accursed thing keeps growing fatter as I delve into and plot out the protagonist's memories and life story. Progress wise, you could say it's less complete than ever because the theoretical page count is growing faster than the actual one. Hopefully, this provides a greater sense of immersion and choice for the reader.

The number of memories has ballooned to twenty. I'm not convinced I won't add more (God, I hope I don't), but this seems like a solid number. Initially, there were only eight. Also, most, but probably all of them, will no longer be single one page memories you find via exploration, but will have a follow-up choice leading to diverging second portions of the memory, allowing the reader to morph the characterization and emotional tone somewhat on his/her accord rather than simply getting the set-in-stone past experience.

I may fudge the years and ages a bit, but the memories currently range from age 4 to the day just prior to the protagonist's isolation, spanning the years 1660 to 1686, which is a slight deviation from the initial 'present' setting I had in mind of 1692.

Since this is interlaced with Salt of the Sea, I was having a tumultuous inner debate about whether to stay historically accurate as possible, or to write the universe as a world where the Acts of Parliament and treaties of the early to mid 1680s never came to fruition, allowing piracy to run fully rampant in the Caribbean beyond it's historical peak. But I've settled on the historically accurate version, which will eventually demand a bit of a re-write for the tone of Salt of the Sea, but the new direction intrigues me.

The research I've done for this has been interesting, as I had unwittingly selected a rather peculiar general ethnicity and loyalty for the pirate crew of Salt of the Sea, but it makes for some new and interesting plot ideas.

I see no way this could possibly be completed by the original goal of March 31st, since it's grown so much, but I'm not doing a condensed version of this story like I did with Cliche Adventures. So it'll just have to take however long it takes, even if it's only a page or two a day at times.

Also, the linkage to Salt of the Sea, is neither a confirmation nor denial that the protagonist was/is/will be a pirate, privateer, sailor, or any other sort of typical seafaring folk.

On a final, random note, I keep referencing this work as 'the Island story' because I don't have a proper title for it, which continues to irk me. The actual working title is 'Upon an Island in the Sea,' but I cannot decide if I like that or if it's unbelievably stupid. Maybe 'X of the Sea' if I can think of a fitting 'X'.

Dirt of the Sea ha ha. 

I was actually considering, 'A Rock in the Sea' or 'Rock of the Sea'

Rock pf the Sea sounds good imo

Consider this a vote for ''Upon an Island in the Sea'. It's unique and a got a little of that old timey verboseness in there, I like it.