For End Master's Manifest Destiny Contest.

"Welcome to the experiment. A man is dead, and you have to find his killer. There will be a list of rules in your room once this briefing is over, but all you really need to know is this: There are five of you, but only one can solve the mystery. You will be given five days. Each night, one of you will die - no more, no less.

Ready? Even if you're not, it doesn't matter. You're in my world now."
 

This is also a War on Intfiction contribution.

Note: Aside from a few references to Dreamtruder characters/ events, this storygame is a standalone.

It is my first time writing a mystery storygame on this site, so I would appreciate if you could leave feedback on whether this mystery was too easy/ difficult to solve. If you find yourself stuck, don't hesitate to message me directly. That being said, do not feel discouraged if you are bewildered at first; as you progress further in the game, the clues and secrets would make everything clearer. Eventually, the secrets you find would allow you to make sense of most clues except a few, and these would point to the killer.

Make use of the notebook, which would keep track of the information you gained from the interviews and the secrets you may find out. Also, check the item descriptions of all the objects since some of these would have to be 'used' in order to access some clues.

Once you've solved the mystery, there are 3 possible endings you could get. Only one of these actually results in returning back to the 'real world'. If you're looking for this 'true ending', it requires you to play through the last of the five days rather than just skipping to the end and guessing the answer.

Good luck surviving the Halloween experiment!

Beneath the seas, hidden from the Ones Above, our society goes about our normal, routinely lives. I cannot help but feel bored with all that is going on, until I find the letter. A letter that sends me on a journey to deliver a magical item to the group of people that have been villainized over the years, the letter that challenges everything I thought I knew. But which side is on the side of good? How can I break out of the only world I have ever known? Should I join the heroic villains or the villainous hero? I have finally gotten the adventure I always needed, but not exactly the one I wanted.

(Edit - note from the author: I'll be going through the process of fixing any bugs/ problems in this storygame soon, like the inescapable loops, so apologies for those who encounter these or any other issues caused by the upcoming changes).

Note: This game was created for Camelon's break contest. During the part where a specialist is assigned to the breakers, there are three different paths (Lawbreaker, Breaker of People and Breaker and Enterer). Due to time constraints, for those who would like to know, Breaker of People is the longest path, followed by Lawbreaker and Breaker and Enterer, but aside from the epilogues, it all leads to the same chapter 5. As before, feel free to comment or message me if you encounter any issues or problems that I should fix.

"The delicate balance between the dream world and the real world is disrupted. You intruded and messed up the dream of an innocent. By talking about this with an Unknowing, the possibility of the dreamstage being unveiled is now greater than ever. The Jury has made a decision - we have no choice but to send you to The Jungle..."

Life was hard, balancing work and relaxation. Then the nightmares came, and all I ever wanted was to be free of them. Yet, I never accounted for this - finding out the truth about the dream world, exploring the vast plane of the imagination...only to be whisked away to the longest nightmare ever. 

Think a jungle's bad? Try a fictional jungle, where literally anything can happen, and the most creative minds have conspired to give you a hard time.

Note: This game was created for Mizal's 'Welcome to the Jungle' contest. There are several epilogues, and while the main one is the normal Dreamtruder path, others include Dream director, Dreamcaster, Dreamediator, and Dreamhero. Fancy a challenge? Try completing the Jungle challenge without picking up any dreampowers - it's possible, but requires a bit of thinking and planning ahead. Also, for some items, click the 'use' button as a link would not be provided (if this is the case, it would be specified in the object description)

Since this would be my first published storygame, I am still relatively new to this. Feel free to message me or spam the comments if you encounter any issues, have any suggestions for improvement, or just have something you want to say.

Enjoy!

A quest doomed from the start. A man with an unwavering yet unusual moral compass. A daughter in the darkest depths of the night sky.

It isn't truly over until all hope is lost.

'Good and evil, heroes and villains… they are all fantasies created by the world. There are only two types of people: the people you care about, and the people you don’t.'

Arnold Cyzila's best life may have been long since over, but he would do anything to save his daughter from the clutches of her confinement. Even stealing an airplane, killing the innocent, and entering a dangerous world where death is almost guaranteed. 

[Warning: There are some mentions of murder, deaths and several dark themes, so if those things make you uncomfortable, perhaps it is better not to read this story.]

Note: I initially did not plan on joining this contest, yet I'm glad I did since it has motivated me to publish a new storygame. It is related to Dreamtruder in a way… well, you’ll see. While this story may not be as long as my previous two, it was interesting to write a shorter project. 

Just like all my other storygames, commenting and rating this story are both highly welcomed and appreciated. Also, as I have used quite a lot of variables in several fight scenes, let me know if you ever encounter a page where there are no visible links. 

Lastly, there are a few different epilogues but the 'main' one would be an epilogue which mirrors the start of the story (you'll know it when you see it). There are three possible ways to reach that. Even though I may consider it to be the true ending, it is not a typical happy ending.

For EndMaster's Prompt Contest

Prompt: A story involving an old Oriental style setting
 

A simple quest for revenge turns into a deadly competition.

The Shi Empires, governed by the Ten Emperors, appear to be undefeatable. But Liu Longyi's desire to avenge Mother tranports her to four deadly battles, marked by the sudden appearance of a chaos deity.

As she battles competitors for the throne, Liu Longyi learns the truth about the mighty Shi Empires, along with the most closely guarded secret of Yue Palace. 

Author's Notes:

1. This story makes use of delayed consequences, so replaying would grant different outcomes, even if they aren't always visible at first.
2. There are some instances of violent and slightly mature content, so reader's discretion is advised.
3. If you prefer to read the storygame in the same browser, you could click the title page instead of the 'play' button.

Hope you enjoy the storygame!

For EndMaster's Prompt Contest 2

Prompt: A story involving fairies in some way


 

"Save your breath. We both know how this story ends."

As a spellsinger from an illustrious family, Aubrynne Spelwinter has always sought greatness. Yet, in an attempt to shatter a notorious curse, she becomes one of its casters.

In seven days, the curse will take effect. However, Aubrynne's mission leads to an unlikely alliance with the Cursed King, with whom she races against the clock to save her kingdom from conquests and faceless enemies.

Author's notes: 

1. There are 5 epilogues and it'll be obvious which the 'main' one is. 
2. This is a retelling of a classic fairytale, Sleeping Beauty, although aside from a few plot points, it features unique characters, settings, and narratives.
3. If you prefer to read the storygame in the same browser, you could click the title page instead of the 'play' button.

Hope you enjoy the storygame!

Link to video trailer: https://imgur.com/9T3UWTW

For End Master's Prompt Contest 4

Prompt: A story about being a collector of very rare exotic things and/or unique things

Link to a video trailer

Bly’therra of the Illusions

Genie of the Lamp • Collector of Souls • The Sly Shapeshifter 

Ever since she was shackled to her lamp, Bly'therra wants nothing more than to reclaim her freedom. This leads her to strike an ambitious bargain: in three days, she must grant three wishes to the Sultan's future heir and collect his soul.


Zasper Aldaricus

Son of the Sultan • Master of Disguise • The Traitorous Thief

As the fourth son of the Sultan, Zasper desires to prove himself worthy by winning his father's title. To do this, he has to compete against his brothers to form an unbreakable alliance with a neighboring kingdom. 


Author's Notes:

1. This storygame features two points of views. The choices you make in one point of view can—and will—affect the other story. 
2. Although this is a retelling of Aladdin, the plot, characters, and overall narratives deviate from the original tale. 
3. If you prefer to read the storygame in the same browser, you could click the title page instead of the 'play' button.

Hope you enjoy the storygame! 

If you don't like letters, extremely short stories or cliched moral lessons, don't read this. I found it when I was browsing through the old storygames I had created a long time ago. If I'm not mistaken, this was made for Mizal's Tiny 'Topias jam although I never really thought it was good enough to add to the thread. I don't think I'll publish this, but it's completed if anyone happens to browse my profile and wants to read it.

On a dark and chilly night, you visit the Skeleton to ask for hints in order to solve the mystery of 'A Hunted and Haunted Halloween'.

If you find yourself stuck while trying to complete A Hunted and Haunted Halloween, this is the guide for you! Since it is a walkthrough, there are bound to be spoilers, so I recommend reading the storygame before referring to this.

Do let me know if you find any inconsistencies between the storygame and this walkthrough. As this would remain unpublished, I should be able to fix errors rather quickly.

That's all from me. Enjoy!

It's scary to have this much say over the fate of the Gazette

It was supposed to be brief, but that didn't quite work out haha.

Since lots of other reviewers have already given in-depth feedback, I'll keep this one brief.

Story A

SPAG: this one had quite a few grammatical errors. There was a misplaced comma: 'Though the hospital itself was kind of an oddity she knew, they did some kind of research and sometimes treated special, anonymous patients'. ' A typo: 'Several smaller likes [lights?] zipped through the sky above it, which from the dim outline and sound even from this distance she recognized as helicopters.' At some places, commas would improve the flow, e.g. 'She reflected that between the scatter brained, nervous energy and her diet[,] her mom might as well be a very buff rabbit. I believe there should also be a comma between 'Sure Mum' and maybe after Tabby in 'Hey Tabby honey, you done with practice?' I would refrain from making this review a compilation of SPAG errors, but the key takeaway is that another round of proofreading is needed.

Writing: my main advice would be to think about pacing and building suspense. Take this paragraph for example - 'The first strings of lights were already up, and she had paused at a stop sign to observe Rudolph attending the birth of Christ when she noticed something in the sky up ahead, a powerful white light. Pedaling forward to get a quicker view in a gap between some buildings and trees, Tabitha saw the light, like a spotlight, centered on the hospital on the hill up ahead to her left. Several smaller likes zipped through the sky above it, which from the dim outline and sound even from this distance she recognized as helicopters. "What on Earth...'

In the earlier scenes, the lengthy descriptions were helpful for building a sense of monotony, showing how familiar the protagonist was with the cycle of her mum coming back late and forgetting important things. But here, the pacing should be sped up a bit. Use shorter sentences and a greater focus on putting the reader in the character's shoes.

Next, choose verbs with intention. Although she 'noticed' the powerful white light, she only 'saw' it later centered on a hospital. This is not only repetitive, but words like 'noticed, 'saw' and 'recognized' distance us from the protagonist. Eliminate them to make your writing stronger.

Another piece of advice would be to avoid repeating words, e.g. 'light’ and ‘spotlight’. In a similar vein, every piece of description matters so it's best to avoid unnecessary details where they may distract from the main purpose of the scene. For instance, does it matter that the hill is to her left, or does that detract from Tabby's feelings of confusion and worry?

Here is an example of how you could rewrite it:  

The first strings of lights were already up. Tabitha had paused to take in the sight of Rudolph attending the birth of Christ, when her attention was drawn to the skies. A powerful white light shone overhead. What could this mean? She pedalled forward to get a closer view in a gap between some buildings and trees. The spotlight shone on a hill, centering on a hospital---her mother's hospital. "What on Earth... 

Smaller lights zipped through the sky. Their dim outlines and whirring sounds revealed them to be helicopters. 

(Personally, I would restructure this to mention the helicopters in the next paragraph so the previous one can focus on the stakes - mainly, concern for her mother. Readers don't know why the helicopters are so out of place yet in this paragraph, so the protagonist's shocked reaction upon realizing there are helicopters seems more odd than that reaction being used for the bright light). 

Similarly, when a death is shown, it should be impactful. The protagonist finds several people dead. Her only reaction is to feel sick to her stomach and struggle not to vomit? And we're told she trips over the first body, doesn't this disturb her in the slightest?

I did focus more on the 'improvement' aspect in this review, but there were some bits I liked, such as the sensory details to make the ride seem eerie and surreal (though I agree with Gryphon that both showing and telling us this was redundant). It was nice how the stakes were slowly and naturally built up, as the protagonist heard gunshots and thought about what would happen to the patients. Also, eerie/ eerily seems to be your crutch word, lol.

Characters & plot: the relationship between the protagonist and her mum was characterized well, but it appeared to be building up to something that wasn't quite realized. For instance, this dichotomy between them could create a very interesting narrative, where the protagonist worries about her mum and wants to protect her, while simultaneously being a bit annoyed by how her mum keeps getting herself into situations expecting Tabitha to solve her problems (which is a fun dynamic I would implement if I ever get around to finishing WaBS). 

As for the story itself, the protagonist seemed a bit too passive. She pretty much just went to the hospital, saw her mum fight a man, watched some aliens show up, and get told they're moving back to Canada. That leaves the question: why exactly is she the main character when she barely impacts the plot (especially the climax)? Would the story be more interesting if it were written from the pov of her mum instead? Right now, this reads like the first scene of a much larger piece, rather than a complete story in and of itself.

Story B

SPAG: I’ll be honest, I have no idea what Grant is saying. I was going to put this in the ‘writing’ category but I’ll leave it here in spag since whatever this sentence is doing has impacted readability. But aside from that, this story is better as far as proofreading goes. Just a note - no need to capitalize the dialogue tag after a question. 

Writing: there is a strong reliance on adjectives for descriptions. Take this sentence, for instance: ‘The owner, a portly man with a nicotine stained beard, shuffled out of his padded seat behind the counter, putting down a huge book he had been focused on.’ Almost every noun is modified by an adjective. Of these, I would say the padded seat and huge book are the least important. You could use a strong verb to show the latter, eg his book slamming against the counter with a thud.

‘She began to smile. She began to ask her whether she knew what had made the noise, but Charlotte got her question out first.’ - How does one begin to smile and begin to ask a question at the same time? 

Writing-wise, this story did a pretty good job at creating a creepy, unsettling atmosphere and balancing this with an active protagonist fighting back. Sensory descriptions, grotesque details and internal narration all worked together so the reader could experience the scene in the protagonist’s shoes. But I wonder what sorts of screams you’ve heard to think they’re beautiful and harmonious, and to use this exact description twice. 

Plot & characters: why would Tiana be relieved upon seeing Charlotte if the latter would just insult her? Aside from that plot hole, the story proceeded well, with the stakes being Tiana’s eagerness to protect Grant despite him being a hindrance to her. Interesting how both stories had the protagonist wanting to protect someone who mildly annoyed them at the start. The characters were consistent enough and the scope of the story fit well for the limited word count.

Vote

Oops, did I say this would be brief? I suppose some could say the textwall for the second story was shorter than normal. Anyway, I’m voting for Story B.

Anthraxus talks out loud to absolutely no one

Sounds like what is happening in this thread! Until this response, I suppose.

Vote 1: option 1 - since the colony seems to be running low on food, this seems like a more urgent task
Vote 2: option 2 - find a new Stargirl!
Vote 3: maybe option c since that expires the soonest and food seems to be in short supply, followed by option b (then either of the others if there's time)
Vote 4: option 3 appears the most balanced

It is usually up to the judges, but the story has to be complete (no missing links), is written in a way that shows the author is literate, and with a semblance of a coherent plot. There's no minimum word count, though entries with 2k words or more tend to be accepted. Essentially, if you put in some effort and have a basic grasp of the English language, it's not something you need to worry about. 

If someone fails to submit a valid entry, they enter the first level of the Pit of Shame. If this happens a second consecutive time, they are double-shamed (have to pay more points to enter a contest) and a third time, they are barred from joining any future contest*. Mods have a separate layer of shame known as Detroit. 

*This is used to be the case until somewhat recently. Now, it's subject to a few exceptions, such as someone else pulling them out like in the current contest, or they may make risky bets like putting their whole account on the line. 

As funny as it is to imagine Ebon or Mara returning after a 3 year hiatus, only to discover all their unfinished storygames gone, deleting past storygames might be out of proportion especially since people return to the site all the time. Old accounts hogging titles is not too common of a problem anyway given there's an easy workaround. 

I'll start a thread soonish when I have more time to check it regularly. 

There are too many abandoned storygames to purge them all, but a 'Who stole my title?' thread does seem like a good idea.

@V__V

You may use the name 'Shifter' now. The title was taken by two members who hadn't logged in since 2013, so I used my newfound powers to steal it from them.

I'm definitely interested in playing again! (But I'm equally happy to just be a spectator next time since there are others who have yet to experience the game).