For End Master's Manifest Destiny Contest.

"Welcome to the experiment. A man is dead, and you have to find his killer. There will be a list of rules in your room once this briefing is over, but all you really need to know is this: There are five of you, but only one can solve the mystery. You will be given five days. Each night, one of you will die - no more, no less.

Ready? Even if you're not, it doesn't matter. You're in my world now."
 

This is also a War on Intfiction contribution.

Note: Aside from a few references to Dreamtruder characters/ events, this storygame is a standalone.

It is my first time writing a mystery storygame on this site, so I would appreciate if you could leave feedback on whether this mystery was too easy/ difficult to solve. If you find yourself stuck, don't hesitate to message me directly. That being said, do not feel discouraged if you are bewildered at first; as you progress further in the game, the clues and secrets would make everything clearer. Eventually, the secrets you find would allow you to make sense of most clues except a few, and these would point to the killer.

Make use of the notebook, which would keep track of the information you gained from the interviews and the secrets you may find out. Also, check the item descriptions of all the objects since some of these would have to be 'used' in order to access some clues.

Once you've solved the mystery, there are 3 possible endings you could get. Only one of these actually results in returning back to the 'real world'. If you're looking for this 'true ending', it requires you to play through the last of the five days rather than just skipping to the end and guessing the answer.

Good luck surviving the Halloween experiment!

Beneath the seas, hidden from the Ones Above, our society goes about our normal, routinely lives. I cannot help but feel bored with all that is going on, until I find the letter. A letter that sends me on a journey to deliver a magical item to the group of people that have been villainized over the years, the letter that challenges everything I thought I knew. But which side is on the side of good? How can I break out of the only world I have ever known? Should I join the heroic villains or the villanous hero? I have finally gotten the adventure I always needed, but not exactly the one I wanted.

Note: This game was created for Camelon's break contest. During the part where a specialist is assigned to the breakers, there are three different paths (Lawbreaker, Breaker of People and Breaker and Enterer). Due to time constraints, for those who would like to know, Breaker of People is the longest path, followed by Lawbreaker and Breaker and Enterer, but aside from the epilogues, it all leads to the same chapter 5. As before, feel free to comment or message me if you encounter any issues or problems that I should fix.

"The delicate balance between the dream world and the real world is disrupted. You intruded and messed up the dream of an innocent. By talking about this with an Unknowing, the possibility of the dreamstage being unveiled is now greater than ever. The Jury has made a decision - we have no choice but to send you to The Jungle..."

Life was hard, balancing work and relaxation. Then the nightmares came, and all I ever wanted was to be free of them. Yet, I never accounted for this - finding out the truth about the dream world, exploring the vast plane of the imagination...only to be whisked away to the longest nightmare ever. 

Think a jungle's bad? Try a fictional jungle, where literally anything can happen, and the most creative minds have conspired to give you a hard time.

Note: This game was created for Mizal's 'Welcome to the Jungle' contest. There are several epilogues, and while the main one is the normal Dreamtruder path, others include Dream director, Dreamcaster, Dreamediator, and Dreamhero. Fancy a challenge? Try completing the Jungle challenge without picking up any dreampowers - it's possible, but requires a bit of thinking and planning ahead. Also, for some items, click the 'use' button as a link would not be provided (if this is the case, it would be specified in the object description)

Since this would be my first published storygame, I am still relatively new to this. Feel free to message me or spam the comments if you encounter any issues, have any suggestions for improvement, or just have something you want to say.

Enjoy!

A quest doomed from the start. A man with an unwavering yet unusual moral compass. A daughter in the darkest depths of the night sky.

It isn't truly over until all hope is lost.

'Good and evil, heroes and villains… they are all fantasies created by the world. There are only two types of people: the people you care about, and the people you don’t.'

Arnold Cyzila's best life may have been long since over, but he would do anything to save his daughter from the clutches of her confinement. Even stealing an airplane, killing the innocent, and entering a dangerous world where death is almost guaranteed. 

[Warning: There are some mentions of murder, deaths and several dark themes, so if those things make you uncomfortable, perhaps it is better not to read this story.]

Note: I initially did not plan on joining this contest, yet I'm glad I did since it has motivated me to publish a new storygame. It is related to Dreamtruder in a way… well, you’ll see. While this story may not be as long as my previous two, it was interesting to write a shorter project. 

Just like all my other storygames, commenting and rating this story are both highly welcomed and appreciated. Also, as I have used quite a lot of variables in several fight scenes, let me know if you ever encounter a page where there are no visible links. 

Lastly, there are a few different epilogues but the 'main' one would be an epilogue which mirrors the start of the story (you'll know it when you see it). There are three possible ways to reach that. Even though I may consider it to be the true ending, it is not a typical happy ending.

If you don't like letters, extremely short stories or cliched moral lessons, don't read this. I found it when I was browsing through the old storygames I had created a long time ago. If I'm not mistaken, this was made for Mizal's Tiny 'Topias jam although I never really thought it was good enough to add to the thread. I don't think I'll publish this, but it's completed if anyone happens to browse my profile and wants to read it.

On a dark and chilly night, you visit the Skeleton to ask for hints in order to solve the mystery of 'A Hunted and Haunted Halloween'.

If you find yourself stuck while trying to complete A Hunted and Haunted Halloween, this is the guide for you! Since it is a walkthrough, there are bound to be spoilers, so I recommend reading the storygame before referring to this.

Do let me know if you find any inconsistencies between the storygame and this walkthrough. As this would remain unpublished, I should be able to fix errors rather quickly.

That's all from me. Enjoy!

If you go to the Help & Info section, you'll be able to scroll down and find a list of articles related to scripting: chooseyourstory.com/help/

Welcome back! Here’s an addition to the previous pieces of advice based on how I stay focused on my storygames. Hope it helps.

1) Read stories similar to yours

This can be quite motivating, because it’s always great to see a concept you want to execute done well in another piece of fiction. Whether this is a similar setting, a character arc that follows the same trajectory, or an overarching theme you have decided to emulate, other stories are usually our main motivators to create, so returning to your source of inspiration helps you stay focused.

2) Know your ‘why’

Are you writing because you have a brilliant story you wish to tell the world? Or perhaps, it is the practice of honing your craft that intrigues you. Whatever the case, if you think a story is good enough to see to the end, you probably have a reason for that. Use this reason to stop yourself from getting distracted.

3) Treat yourself to the ‘exciting scenes’ when you’re getting bored

Some writers have types of scenes they prefer writing. This could be action scenes, description, or something else entirely. Whatever the case, if you find yourself tiring of a story, delay the scenes you ‘should be’ writing and focus instead on the parts of this story you wish to write. It would reignite your interest in your storygame

4) Make use of writing-related procrastination methods

When I’m focused on a storygame, I try to limit my sources of entertainment. This would, of course, not work for everyone, but the key thing is to continuously think of and sustain interest in your storygame. For me, I enjoy making story-related playlist or aesthetics. Also, seeing a pretty cover page in my storygame document has recently been a huge mood booster for me.

5) Lastly, don’t get distracted by shiny new ideas

For me, one of the best ways to set aside new ideas is to dedicate a few minutes to just writing it all down in a ‘shiny new ideas’ document. Not only would you set aside your ideas for a time when you’re unable to think of any new ones, but it would also satisfy the urge to write this whole new story because of a psychological phenomenon where your brain is remembers unfinished tasks (in this case, ignored ideas) instead of finished ones (and once you have written the idea outline down, it would be easier to set aside).

Locked. 

I'll take 39.

I can't believe I missed this thread. The art is brilliant! I like the 3d element and how everything is blended so well.

Only if you have the time and are still taking requests, it would be great if you could draw a clock/ hourglass/ time inspired planet, maybe with a silver oak on it. Feel free to take creative liberty and use any colours, design, etc if you attempt it.

This prologue is really well-written! From the first question, I was intrigued. As the purpose of prologues are to hook the reader by planting questions in their mind, I think this does a good job, because I found myself wanting to know more about this villain's tale.

Suspense

I enjoy the gradual build-up before the truth is revealed; the stretching of suspense as far as it can go. The narrator's unwillingness to disclose the truth, combined with the build-up of its significance, really makes the truth more fascinating when it comes. And even so, once the truth is revealed, there are many more questions left unanswered -- Why is the villain getting executed? How did his corruption arc occur? And finally, what led him to kill a man?

As Gower mentioned, perhaps the lengthy prologue may cause readers to tire of the narrator's voice, since in my haste to know what happened, I may have skimmed several sentences. Therefore, I'd suggest that if you do cut out some parts, do try and keep the main moments that pique the reader's curiosity and edit/ combine the sentences that aren't essential. (Unrelated sidenote: I find the advice to halve this prologue amusing considering this line -- "And you can certainly say this much of me, I do not do things by half.")

I recently read a piece of advice which said that every sentence must do one of the following -- advance the action, or develop a character. While I still haven't mastered this skill yet, if you tend to use drafts/ rewrite and edit a lot, this might help fine-tuning some parts that may be overwritten. But all in all, this piece is effective and the suspense element meant I kept wanting to read on.

Character's voice

Your character's voice is highly distinct; this makes everything feel more personal, especially when combined with the first person pov and the nature of this passage (a letter to an old friend). I once read that a story's events would only affect the reader if they are first shown to affect the characters. In this way, I think you've succeeded since the main character's life events are shown to have a drastic impact on him. From the way his imprisonment has driven him to the depths of insanity, to the fact that he rambles on due to having no other way of entertaining himself, you've really driven home the scope of impact the plot has on the protagonist. I'm taking notes on this to improve my own future works haha.

Another brilliant thing about this character is how he is essentially a contradiction. His narrative is said to be the truth, but when taking into account the life he has built out of deception and his rather questionable motivations, he does become an unreliable narrator. And yet, I can't help but want to know about this version of the truth. 

In terms of feedback, there's a lot of backstory covered in one letter, and it might border on the verge of info-dumping. One thing you could consider is this: is everything here essential for the reader to know about the protagonist at this stage of the story? Sometimes, I fall into the trap of over-explaining things if I spent a lot of time worldbuilding or developing my characters. It usually helps me to think about how I can separate a lengthy backstory into categories (e.g. knowing nothing about his parents, lacking talent but having enthusiasm, being a 'perfect child', etc) and deciding which ones I can later sprinkle into the narrative. For instance, the part about the parents could later come up in a conversation about parental figures and role models, adding more depth to the character's personality. It would make sense to leave some things for later, so the reader will constantly discover new things about the protagonist (plus, it makes sense that this half-mad man who has been deprived of social interactions for a long time would, in his haste to tell his story, forget some details and provide a slightly disjointed, non-chronological narrative).

Other notes

While setting may not be a main part of the prologue, I like the little details that hint at it. The Blackguard Fortress sounds menacing, a world that executes prisoners perhaps signals a somewhat medieval society (and there are also nobles, the crown, the monarch, etc), and deities are mentioned too. It seems like a great backdrop has been set for a fantasy/ dark fantasy story!

This is a rather polished piece. I could only find one minor grammatical error: After all, I am not in the ground quite yet, and I have grown rather infamous for my ability the [to] cheat death.

One of my favourite parts (because I begin to wonder what role the 'old friend' plays in the story): Every story needs a villain, after all. No one can deny that I played my part. You played yours. Now, here we both are.

The last line is so impactful, especially after the two other sentences before it and the whole build-up together with the juxtaposition of the protagonist's past self. To be honest, I read that last line by accident before the rest of the prologue, but because of that, I started reading this prologue, and stayed until the end. If there's another page I would have clicked the 'next' button by now.

Overall, I hope you're satisfied with this rewrite, because it's very eloquent and engaging :)

ESL: Enough said, lol

But joke aside, read this thread for advice and if you don't heed the warnings, you may find yourself needing to visit this thread instead.

If that's the case, we won't need a sequel to FailMan when we can easily assume the storyline continues in Trans and Depressed.

bit.ly/CYSdiscord

Here are a few possible methods you could use:

1. False choices

This is kind of similar to what Ogre mentioned, but in addition to what was said, you could add choices that wouldn’t change much besides adding a few lines of flavor text. However, do use this sparingly since too many impactless choices might make readers feel as if their decisions don’t matter in the storygame. One way to work around this would be to change minor parts of some scenes or the ending based on these choices (for instance, the main ending could have a sentence where, depending on who the protagonist chose to save in a battle, the name of their best friend is altered).

Another thing you could do would be to add links for extra information. Whether it’s a small foreshadowing detail to solidify a plot twist, a minor location you weren’t sure whether to add in an earlier draft, or a worldbuilding/ lore detail you want to flesh out, feel free to let the reader explore it before looping them back to the main path. 

2. Death scenes

One ‘easy’ way of adding choices would be to add death scenes. If you don’t fancy writing many different deaths, just write one or two death scenes and link all the different deaths to these pages. As you go through the story, think of potential ways for the protagonist to either die or reach a ‘non-winning’ ending, then add links to premature endings there.

3. Variables

You mentioned that you have one main path, but three other endings in mind, and the branching occurs in the last section. However, you could set it up so that the ending is based on a combination of all the choices that the reader made throughout the story. 

For example: the reader gets to choose a way to respond to the antagonist, but on the next page, it seems like the choice does not immediately matter because the antagonist ignores their remark and the story continues. 

If the protagonist chooses to make an angry retort instead of a peaceful one, you could add 1 to the variable ‘anger’. When they reach the last section, if the reader made enough choices motivated by anger (determined by their score under the variable ‘anger’), then this means they reach the ending where the protagonist’s anger is unleashed upon the antagonist.

Best of luck with your storygame! Hope everything goes well :)