You wake up in the middle of the forest at night, with no memory of how you got there.  All you have is a backpack full of Cheez-Its and other essential supplies, along your own wits to help you on your way.  As you explore this strange land, you'll find things you never knew could exist, (at least, not that you can remember).  You'll meet strange creatures, some friend, others not, and maybe, just maybe, recover your lost memories...

My (rather rushed), entry for the Lone Hero contest.  I'll be the first to admit that not all the endings will make you any sort of hero, lone or otherwise, (mainly the ones where you run away from just about every source of conflict, and/or die).  But if you're brave enough to do what you think is right, even though it may result in your untimely demise, you may just make yourself a hero yet.  In that light, I guess you could say you're a reluctant Lone Hero.  

While each route of this story can be understood to some degree on it's own, it is important to play every branch to fully understand the greater story that's being told.  I have no intention of revealing everything on the first play through, you'll have to take the time to explore everything to learn all it's secrets.

By the way, on the off chance that you find any glitches or bugs, please tell me.  I'd like to know so I can fix them.

Netflix and video games can only go so far when it comes to fighting boredom. Usually the comfort of your own home is more than enough to make you happy on the weekends, but lately something feels off. You've tried to rewatching The Office for the six or seventh time, but just couldn't get into it. After scrolling through your entire Steam library consisting of over five hundred games, you couldn't find a single one that looked worth playing. You're used to being relieved about coming home after a long day of work or school, but lately you've found yourself dreading the emptiness of your own home. There's no two ways around it, you're stuck in a rut, and it's going to take something major to break you out. Luckily, you have just the thing. Before you have a chance to change your mind, you call up your friend who lives across town and tell him to come over as soon as possible. It doesn't take much to convince him to join you on the ultimate Saturday bike ride.

But little do you know that biking can be a lot more dangerous than it looks. The trails are a hotbed for all manner of suspicious activity. You are about to stumble upon an underground subculture more complex and deadly than you could possibly have imagined. Today, you'll find out whether you're just another neckbeard with a cheap set of wheels or a true hero and adventurer.

The trails in the story are loosely based on the ones in my own town. Some of the weird and crazy things in this story are exaggerated or completely made up, but there were also some things I pulled directly from my own experience.  My town can be kinda strange sometimes.  I'll let you decide for yourself what you think is true and what isn't.

I started this story in late 2020 and worked on it on and off into 2021. Then I sorta stopped and forgot about it. But by that point, it already had enough substance to stand on its own, so I decided to come back to it recently and tie up a few loose ends so that the twenty-eight thousand words I'd already written for it wouldn't go to waste. The finished product turned out smaller than I initially planned, but I'm still reasonably happy with it. A bird in the hand is worth two, I suppose.

There are two obvious themes here. The first is animals, specifically animals out in the wild based on the fact that the bears just ate salmon, and the weird creatures are climbing a mountain. Then there are the pelvises. They occur not once, but twice. We also have to account for two outlying factors, THE DARK LORD, and the pottery project. Now, it would be very easy to simply say "weird animals plus lots of pelvises equals something related to furry sex," but that feels like low hanging fruit. I prefer to see this set of interpretations as representative of the duality of man. The animals, in this case, seem very wholesome in nature. I base this assumption on the detail about the salmon, and the excitement you seem to be showing about the seahorses. You spend a lot of time focusing on the wholesome parts of yourself and your life, and you like it that way. 

Then there are the pelvises. One thing that stands out to me about this detail is the fact that there’s no crossover between the pelvis related interpretations and the other ones. Whatever they represent, it’s not something that encroaches upon the “wholesome” aspects of your life, although it is still something you think about a decent amount. This could be related to the… erm… romantic aspects of your life, in some form or another. If this is the case, that would mean your thoughts about such things are present, but that this piece of your life remains in its own lane, so to speak, and doesn’t cross over into other areas.

I also have a hunch that you may be someone who appreciates simplicity. Your answers are fairly straightforward. I don’t really sense a lot of tension in any of them. Even “THE DARK LORD” seems more lighthearted, maybe because of the way it’s worded. I mean all of this as a compliment. You either live a pleasantly quiet life, or you don’t, but would like to. 

What are your thoughts? How close would you say I am?

Lotta animals with superpowers here. Also a fractal. Clearly, you're into nerd stuff since you think about superpowers and fractals enough to see them in inkblots. But nerd tendencies encompass 90 percent of users here as a whole. There's more here. You probably want to see fantastical things in the day-to-day, perhaps to the point where you half-believe in things like cryptids and urban legends, or at least, you would like to. There are a couple of urban touches thrown in here, specifically the references to traffic cones and megaphone poles, that contrast with the animals in fantastical situations. The roadkill elephant is of particular interest here because it is here that the conflict is at its clearest. If we take the urban elements of these interpretations to represent modern life, and the animals as a symbol for the fantastic and magical (notice that it is always the animals that have something fantastic associated with them), then it isn't too much of a leap to say that you see the mundanity of 21st century life as a barrier to experiencing something richer. 

There is a third category at play here beyond animals and urban objects. I see the spiky monster and four-legged people as separate from the regular animals seen here. The bear, lizard, horses and elephant are all clearly defined creatures, but these other two are vague, almost grotesque in nature. Notice first, how the four-legged people are in direct association with the traffic cones. If we are to stay consistent with our interpretation from before, this means it is somehow associated with modern life. It has, after all, forced us to live in ways we were never designed for. The shuffling of body parts into something new is an easy enough connection for that idea. As for the spiky monster, it is directly attacking Jesus. Jesus, in this instance, may be directly related to religious beliefs, or He may just represent the traditional values of Western culture as a whole (assuming you're from the west). To put it simply, he represents the way things have always been done, or the old order of society. The spiky monster is representative of the force that is slowly eroding those values and order. You are probably bothered by it at some level, whether conscious or unconscious. You sense that the world is moving from something magical and cohesive towards something muddled and plain. You think of these things a lot, in some form or another, and are perhaps seeking ways to counteract them.

How close am I?

This time it was a group of aggressively gay Hippies. Should have them corralled within the next few hours or so. Or I might disappear for another four years. Time will tell.

I'll get on this soon! I've had some real life stuff to deal with, but I haven't forgotten about this!

No real human being texts like this. Even twelve year olds don't text like this.

Did the Magicians get better after awhile? I watched a few episodes back in '22, but I sorta got the sense the writers didn't have a clear idea as to where things were going. Maybe I was wrong though if you're comparing it to Harry Potter, which I'd say is pretty cohesive.

Thank you! I'm just sorta sitting on it for now. Probably gonna try to work on knocking out some of my student loan debt for a bit, then eventually go back for a master's of some sort.

I was wondering why they weren't showing up. I managed to make them clicky, at least, but I had hoped to get them to show up on the page.

I just recently graduated with a bachelor's degree in psychology, and I've been itching for a chance to use it. Now, for those who don't know, you really can't do anything of any professional importance with just a measly bachelor's degree in my field. For that, you have to get yourself a master's degree or higher, which is something I won't be getting around to for a little while. It does, however, enable me to abuse my knowledge for my own personal entertainment and for the enlightenment of others. I've frequented this site on and off for a long time now, and I've come to notice that there are some very interesting characters running amok around here. Recently, I've found myself wondering what exactly lies in the deepest, darkest depths of all of your collective minds. So I'm proposing a little game to help pull back the curtain for the education and amusement of everyone here. 

How it works:

Most of you have probably at least heard of the inkblot test. Below is a series of random inkblots that have no inherent meaning in themselves. Traditionally, the test involves relaying what you see in them to a licensed professional, and then allowing them to interpret the meaning of whatever it was you saw. For example, if someone said they saw something like "a bunch of dead gay zombies having a dead gay orgy," the person administering the test might conclude that their subject had previously repressed gay impulses that they have since left behind, or more likely, that the subject is a closeted user of some combination of Wattpad, AO3, or CoG. Seeing as I am not a professional in any capacity, we'll have to turn to the next best thing to get our interpretations: the court of public opinion. Each participant in this game should post a list of their own impressions of each inkblot shown below. Then, everyone else can comment on their post to interpret what their impressions say about them. So without further ado, here are the inkblots you will be using:

Inkblots

Image 1:

Image 2:

Image 3:

Image 4:

Image 5:

Image 6:

Image 7:

Games reviewed:

Of Dreams and Daemons by Clayfinger, Featured

(These still count for regular points, right?)