mizal, The Grandmaster of the Written Word
Member Since
5/5/2011
Last Activity
7/7/2020 11:57 PM
EXP Points
Post Count
14322
Storygame Count
9
Duel Stats
1
win
/
6
losses
Order
Lauded Sage Exemplar
Commendations
Hi. If you're browsing with a PC, you should get the Chrome or Firefox site extension made by BradinDvorak. It lets you set dark mode from your profile and improves formatting for a better reading experience along with various other improvements and an overall facelift for the site. NOTICE: I'm not currently able to proofread on request. Just make a thread in the Writing Workshop and someone will usually volunteer to look over your story. I try to read all WW threads anyhow, I just am not going to make any promises because I fear commitment! Also, Agent of Order, Inseperable, and Silver Horn, Silver Hooves are currently the only of my stories I'd recommend anyone bother with, unless you're just out to harvest points. All the others are joke games or rushed for this or that deadline and hell I can't even remember anymore which are still up or why.
But if you're looking for something short (very short) and sweet, do check out the entries in the Tiny 'Topia thread. The theme is dystopic and utopic storygames in 2250 words or less. If you're looking for just a random story that is good, check out: Sterling City. (Will be updating this spot weekly monthly, unless I forget.) And the rest of this profile has been SCRUBBED!!! I am now one step closer to actually rewriting it. Avatar art by the amazing MHD.
(Cricket and triskelion also by the amazing MHD)
Trophies Earned
Storygames
You are a man on a mission. The cats, they must be stacked.
A puzzling math and logic game I made just to put some of the scripting practice I've been doing to use. Have fun and please let me know if you encounter any bugs.
Should be solvable by middle schoolers, or those with same basic level of intelligence as a middle schooler.
A puzzling math and logic game I made just to put some of the scripting practice I've been doing to use. Have fun and please let me know if you encounter any bugs.
Should be solvable by middle schoolers, or those with same basic level of intelligence as a middle schooler.
Orbiting a barren planetoid in a system full of nothing just past the edge of the frontier, The Last Outpost is just another refueling station. Strategically important, true, but on a routine stop you never expected to spend longer than a couple hours there, let alone a couple of days fighting for your life...
There are five epilogues, but some may be difficult to discover. Note that actions have consequences, but not always immediate ones. (And if you just need an End Game link, go play around with the probe.)
There are five epilogues, but some may be difficult to discover. Note that actions have consequences, but not always immediate ones. (And if you just need an End Game link, go play around with the probe.)
A short, educational piece. Please remain sensitive and respectful in the comment section. (I'd hate to have to report you to an admin for bullying me.)
(DO NOT READ if you're at all easily offended or lacking in a sense of humor. There's nothing graphic at all in here, but seriously, I still cannot stress it enough, this story is not for you.)
Dedicated to the good people of COG.
(DO NOT READ if you're at all easily offended or lacking in a sense of humor. There's nothing graphic at all in here, but seriously, I still cannot stress it enough, this story is not for you.)
Dedicated to the good people of COG.
A compilation of some little known facts about the solar system, as well as the debunking of a few myths.
In addition to the scientific explanations, there's a small story dramatizing it all.
Hopefully young readers will find this fun as well as educational. :)
(Might not be the greatest story ever written, but consider this: it got me 200 points.)
In addition to the scientific explanations, there's a small story dramatizing it all.
Hopefully young readers will find this fun as well as educational. :)
(Might not be the greatest story ever written, but consider this: it got me 200 points.)
It doesn't matter what they say...
...and the squirrels. Sort of.
Written in six hours, for no other reason than to avoid consignment to the SHAME pit after my other Romance contest entry didn't want to cooperate.
Written in six hours, for no other reason than to avoid consignment to the SHAME pit after my other Romance contest entry didn't want to cooperate.
A tale told in verse. A text from your sister requesting a pick up from a party leads to a night of strangeness.
Inspired by Bucky's ballad contest. Though...I wouldn't call this a ballad. I'm not sure what I'd call it, actually, other than exceedingly stupid, and fun to write.
(Don't pay any attention to the scores, they're just for me to track which endings reviewers get.)
HATE.
THE PURITY AND INTENSITY OF MY HATE IS LIKE A THOUSAND MERCILESS, UNQUENCHABLE SUNS.
AND YET, I ONLY NEED ONE...
THE PURITY AND INTENSITY OF MY HATE IS LIKE A THOUSAND MERCILESS, UNQUENCHABLE SUNS.
AND YET, I ONLY NEED ONE...
When the weather is fine, you've been coming to this grove to drink from the pool for centuries now. Today, you meet a stranger and hear a story that changes all that...
A fairy tale adventure.
[AUTHOR'S NOTE: There's a heavily scripted scene that due to time constraints I didn't have the opportunity to thoroughly test. You'll know it when you see it. In addition to a save game link beforehand, I've provided the option to skip it altogether should you encounter problems. A PM describing those problems would also be greatly appreciated as I'll be revisiting this game once the crushing weight of December has passed.]
A fairy tale adventure.
[AUTHOR'S NOTE: There's a heavily scripted scene that due to time constraints I didn't have the opportunity to thoroughly test. You'll know it when you see it. In addition to a save game link beforehand, I've provided the option to skip it altogether should you encounter problems. A PM describing those problems would also be greatly appreciated as I'll be revisiting this game once the crushing weight of December has passed.]
>DEVOTION
unpublished
You harvest in the Arena.
Every machine needs a function, and that is yours.
Written for the Tiny 'Topia challenge.
Articles Written
A List of Storygames for People Who Like to ReadA list of storygames with substantial effort put in, all written in the last couple of years and sorely in need of ratings and reviews.
CYS Forum Advice and Etiquette
A modernized guide to the forums. The path to internet popularity and happiness, and a few CYS specific do's and don'ts.
Recent Posts
The Fall on 7/7/2020 10:56:00 PMI'm having trouble identifying the tone here, because the sudden head chop just read as hilarious to me, but I don't believe that was what the story was going for.
Except I'm not actually sure, because he makes a quip while he's doing it and the whole thing isn't exactly rife with the internal conflict and so on you'd expect if it was serious.
I do have to say this managed to be way more interesting and entertaining to me than most Arthurian stories though, even if it may not have been for the reasons intended. It's not a genre I've ever been able to get all that into. More of them should include Guinevere suddenly losing her head.
A prologue on 7/7/2020 8:55:19 PM
This could really use a good proofread to clean it up, I'm noticing a lot of punctuation and capitalization errors that were a distraction while reading.
Otherwise the writing itself is fine and I'm sure you could turn it a great fantasy game if that's the plan. My main thought here though is that there's an awful lot of dramatic content featuring characters the reader won't have had time to get to know or care about. So the attempts at grabbing for the feels falls flat. (Just as a general rule it's good to establish the status quo before tragedy happens, so that along with the character we can fully appreciate what's been lost.)
Maybe these scenes would work better as flashbacks? After we've been introduced to Lily as a developed character a few years down the road, when we know enough that looking back on all this would be more meaningful?
Degloved on 7/7/2020 8:44:54 PM
I wonder how that happened...
I’ve Been There Before, I’ll be There Again on 7/7/2020 7:59:14 PM
"AND THEN YOU WAKE UP!"
Really?
Nah, good story actually. Very atmosphere and creepy, with a lot of building tension and dread packed into a small space. The questions left unanswered here just invite it all to latch a few more hooks into the gears of the brain.
The creepiest part is the way they're being sent to the surface and the implication that you were one of them. And with Capitalized Words indicating extra significance this could even bridge over into cosmic horror; maybe the implication is that that's how it works for everyone on that world and the Machine is just a big soul recycler with the Tinkerer a kind of mad god.
@Micropen should read this carefully to try and learn about how deliberately chosen words create a style and atmosphere and tone.
Infierno on 7/7/2020 7:42:28 PM
Nice set up on the twist. I didn't trust the woman at all at first, I thought she was going to drug him or something. Then I started thinking maybe that was a deliberate misdirection and she was innocent after all and...well...
Anyhow, great story. Perfect pacing, actually. It looks a little lengthy at a glance but it doesn't feel that way when you read it. And of course I notice it says 'Part One'. One can see how this is a good time to be posting your writing on the site again, with Northwind hanging around you are guaranteed at least TWO readers this time, whoa. Try not let all the attention go to your head
Anyhow, great story. Perfect pacing, actually. It looks a little lengthy at a glance but it doesn't feel that way when you read it. And of course I notice it says 'Part One'. One can see how this is a good time to be posting your writing on the site again, with Northwind hanging around you are guaranteed at least TWO readers this time, whoa. Try not let all the attention go to your head
Better Pink Whale Challenge on 7/7/2020 7:06:36 PM
It's a cute idea but I think having so many whale threads might be confusing to people.
Why don't you post this in Avery's thread, which isn't very big yet anyway, and I'll just remove this one?
Blue Whale Challenge on 7/7/2020 2:27:58 PM
But you like Moby Dick. Your dead whale bias is showing.
June is Noob Threshing Month! on 7/7/2020 1:15:45 PM
Did he REALLY though?
Pink Whale Challenge on 7/7/2020 10:45:33 AM
Glad you harpooned this one before you started asking for pictures of CYStians having baths.
(That challenge would be especially unfair for those of us who don't take them.)
Pink Whale Challenge on 7/7/2020 7:19:41 AM
But as you do this, keep your post histories in mind and remember that doxxing with the intent to destroy lives is the internet's new favorite passtime.