>DEVOTION

It was difficult to decide how to rate this, I decided to take into account the rules of the contest for which it was written. One must read through every page to get a handle on the setting. Fortunately, doing so is a pleasure, takes very little time, and is worth the effort. First, the editing is impeccable, and secondly, the writing is free of overly familiar phrases. The style is practiced and creative. The passage demonstrates admirable description within ultra concise passages.

One of the consequences of scavenging for every word is a somewhat unnatural sentence structure and occasionally choppy flow. The author partially conceals this by matching the writing tone to the setting. I doubt if there is really enough content here to satisfy the gawking rabble, but the morsels harvestable from this regrettably short glance into a dystopian colony are intriguing. The clever culture notes and a fragmented history elevate this tiny tale into something slightly larger than its humble packaging might otherwise suggest.

When it comes to mizal's writing, I'm always surprised by how many different genres she has a grasp on. This one in particular is no different, I would say. The quality that
s present in this story, remains consistent all throughout every page that is present in this story-game.

I feel as through the use of a different sort of font, than what some would consider the standard, and the tone and dialogue choices, certainly makes one feel as if they're a machine. Such a thing gives this story a bit of a unique flair and feel to quite a fair amount of stories that are on this site.

Although this is a short, it also done well. A story-game being done well is something that I personally feel to be of the up most importance when all is said and done.

>DEVOTION,

it does just that.

Short but well put together,I'd say a good little story

***DISCLAIMER*** to the author, It should first be stated, that you should NOT take anything i say with a grain of salt. Everything i say i mean, and i mean it with my chest puffed out, so, take everything i say to heart. To the readers, this review will contain lots of spoilers, so I suggest you read the storygame first.

First Impressions:

It was very short, and when i first read through one of the paths, i kind of went "is that it?". Obviously a but unsatisfied i went back and decided to try other routes, what was pretty cool about this story is that you can read an entire route, and only get a glimpse of what is going on, or just one aspect. Yet with the more routes you read, the whole story slowly reveals itself, which I think actually landed itself in its favour. It was a cool touch.

The most interesting character was definitely the Administrator, in this story, the robots idolise the humans so much, that they're ultimate goal is to BECOME human, or as close to human as can be.

Writing style:

The writing style was definitely a cool touch! as others have stated in their own reviews, I couldn't help but go "buzz buzz" or read the words in a robotic voice in my head as i was going through it. Which shows how effective the font was. Outside of that, its a bit simplistic from what I know Mizal can and does do in her other stories, especially horns and hooves. Obviously this was for a contest, so that's to be expected.

Worldbuilding:

Worldbuilding is actually surprisingly good for such a short story! If you go through all of the routes, you get a good general ideal of what is actually going on, and its a cool narrative, just maybe a bit simplistic, but in how underdeveloped it was due to the shortness and brevity of it.

Overall:

Its a good short story! Mizal is definitely capable of better though. Its a REALLY cool and unique concept. I would love it Mizal decided to flesh a story like this out, where instead of just being told vaguely what happens in an epilogue such as (you joined the rebellion the end), but actually fleshed out the war against the administrator to create some sort of robot epic. I think she would have the potential for an 8/8 story here.

Overall id probably give it a 5 0r a 6, but I'm fond of Mizal, so ill round up and give it a 6.

This really reminded me of my favorite book called the "Wild Robot". I enjoyed it greatly.

This was fun: I liked the original way it was written and, though quite short, the writing was very smooth, easy to read and the story branched out well. A nice little story.

Now I have shared a few moments with a robot gladiator on a lost colony. Cool!
For a short-short story this was great. Written for people with short attention spans? :)

im a robot? a cyborg? no im superman

This.... was..... let's just say, you should treat it like acid.... the kind of acid that burns your skin off.

Just a little too short