Player Comments on 2205

This is not bad. Not bad at all. The choice structure was clumsy at times, with the dreaded "go left/go right" choice with no context and an insta-die if you coin flip wrong. Way too reliant on that.

But the narrative was decently long, and there were a few authentically interesting ideas, tactical choices, and moments of exploration. The writing itself was a bit blah, in terms of sentence structure, even though this author does have a good sense of how to describe things.

This storygame could have been really quite good if as much time were given to polishing the second half as the first half, as the descriptions and the choice structure gets a bit sloppy as it goes on.

Similarly, although the first bits do make some effort to establish setting, it does so only lightly. Not enough time and description is spent establishing what the year 2205 is like or the clearly post-apoc maurading that's going on. The author has a really cool setting--much more should be done with it.

An interesting diversion to consider its potential.

Ok then, let's take this apart piece by piece.

First of all, we don't get that much backstory on our character or the world we live in, I mean, all that I found out was that my parents were killed by a robber, but that's pretty much it as for the world itself, it feels post-apocalyptic, but I wouldn't know, I died to fast.

Another problem of the game was that most of the choices were either do or die, so there goes choosing in choosing my story, you need to make multiple paths, not only a straight one.

Your grammar was... mediocre at best, don't get me wrong, it wasn't too bad, but I wasn't engaged at all by the writing itself, so I'm sorry, but if you ever make any other story-games, then you should improve your grammar a bit.

Yeah, despite all this, the story actually had a bit more potential that I've shown in this review, so I've given it a 4/8 in the hopes that if you ever make a storygame again, we get to see it's grammar improved.

Images would be cool

Great job, ngl. It has the right doses of drama, action, and humor. Ther are ZERO grammatical errors, and perhaps one of the best plots I have ever seen. 7/8 for you!

It was great, however I was not the difficult, because I have been taught how to deal with an active shooter in a building.

Definitely written by a kid with a fascination with guns. In terms of execution, however, this is on par with a CYOA paperback, minus the fact that there are some rather egregious typos.

Pro tip: Cut out all the expository ("back story") stuff and just focus on the action. And give hints in the text so that the player isn't making blind choices all the time.

The plot was interesting and engaging, and I was happily surprised at how long it was considering the story’s 2/8 length.

But the branching (sigh). The entire thing was linear, with the wrong choices leading to either “go back” or death. There is only one good ending. Also, there are two do-or-die left/right choices that are entirely 50/50, as well as a lot of other do-or-die choices that feel pretty random.

3/8.

Well.... The actual story itself is not that bad, but a lot of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. Have a good day(or night)????

I felt as if I was given vague information tactically that led to make uninformed decisions. And the right/left decisions are guess right or die. This could've been a lot better. Nice try.

The ending got rushed a bit, but the intro was nice... 4/8

A good amount of spelling, and grammar mistakes, but other than that, I really did enjoy the story.

Meh...this game was honestly kind of boring. The narration was extremely bland; I wasn't excited or expectant of anything. This game was also short and one of those "choose link -> go back -> repeat until something happens" games. This makes it extremely linear.

Horrible ok story only one choice works per situation and very short stay far far away unless you wanna read the story and click randomly

Hi the game is short.

A lot of things happen in this storygame where I'm not really sure why the protagonist makes certain choices or why certain things happen. I don't think you have sufficient explanations as to why things are the way they are.

The writing isn't terrible but there are quite a few mistakes that could have been easily corrected with more careful proofreading.

The ending was too brief and rushed, and from what I could tell, was the only ending in this linear storygame.

It feels like they're only one ending.

good

i would have rated this lower but its alot more fun than homework

Whoo! I won, though the story was kinda confusing

Not very long, but was still fun to play. Story was not very pulling for me though.

great

A steaming piece of dung

or

as this author would have written " a steeming peice of dun"

LEARN HOW TO PROOFREAD BEFORE YOU PUBLISH SOMETHING

quite nice story. I liked it.

well, this is VERY much chancy stuff. You could give some hints (subtle ones) which would make the game harder and more interesting.

Cool beans

This game was crap... That's why I rated it as poop. It wasn't entertaining at all. You think just because you have guns, you don't need a good storyline. This just wasn't entertaining, like a good storygame needs to be.

very fun wish it was longer

Seth says MEH! It was easy.

Decent story

I expected a little moare, but still it was good

I couldn't expect such type of story from a admin of CYS.

too wordy

It was more hard than a 3.

pretty good. Its mostly chance but very long. It was also really easy. You should make a sequel.

cool

it was fun, I was hoping for more. MAke it a bit longer next time, kay? :D

This is a well-written story with a decent plot. The descriptions of the scenes and the people within them are worded very well. Kudos to you.

Great story, but you need to make sure you use second person.

Very good story. Just one minor mistake with forgetting to put a you.

Bo dissaproves, feel the shame wash over you

Need more choices . Also less choices which are guesses . I didn't have clue if I should take the left or right road . Bush or no bush . Need to give hints in the description.

Ok story, but you really need to clean up the grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc.

This game sucks as much as you do. Negative infinity out of 8.

good

Very descriptive but short.
Good though.

I didn't get it.

Great game, MANY spelling errors, and its kinda do this you die do this you live in some situations

so k i guess could have been better

Good job

6/8

it's not bad - just needs a bit of work. Interested to see your next story.

A number of errors and omissions. The random nature of many choices was a bit tedious (i.e. go left, go right –random win or lose). However, with some polish and adding less random decisions trees it could be good.

Um, this is short and linear. I thinks I could make this better.

Not very consistent, tornadoes occur ONLY far inland (Hurricanes and Cyclones occur over ocean) and the ice caps can only melt so far. in the time of the dinosaurs there WERE no ice caps. they are a relic of the last ice-age. This is a Serious plothole.

Interesting story

Contains some mechanical errors and changes tense a few times. Also seems to borrow a few ideas from multiple sources... but still, it was enjoyable.

Nice game. Very well written, I loved the description.

Great job with the detailed room descriptions. One thing- there were a few rooms where you switched between second and first person. Other than that, nice writing!

I'm pretty sure I have heard of the ice cap future idea in a video game with a similar name. Still, good game, even though it was incredibly hard and the directions were confusing. Like it though.

This was really good. What was up with those mauroders (however you spell it) though, they were crazy. I only died twice, yeah! 6/8

Great job. Though linear and suffering from minor spelling and some major problems switching tenses, even from third to first in the beginning, the story is creative and well written enough to overcome these problems. I would have liked a little more info on why marauders are just killing people brutally and where the metal came from. Good job.

That was actually pretty cool.

linear through most of it. and a few grammar mistakes. decent story though. just add more adventure to the next one.

Hmm...it was a little linear and pretty short, but it was cool, right?

Pretty nice game. You spent lots of time on this game and it's really cool! I couldn't understand some of the parts, but that's my fault because I have a pretty basic way of thought.