A Dog's Life

You surprised me. I have to say, when I started this story I thought it would be a bit basic and short, but it was both longer and more interesting than I initially thought. Animals can be hard to write about unless you anthropomorphise them to some extent. If it's done badly, you end up with widely hated series like the WC World. Ugh. If you do it well, you get what this story showed hints of now and then. There was real emotion poured into this in parts, even if the plot was a little linear (then again, you're not going to have some incredibly intricate chronology of betrayals and twists in a story about a dog, so that's to be expected and it's fine!). I got the good ending, and while I won't spoil it, I have to say it really did make me feel. I won't say what I felt, as even that might spoil it, but well done.
What I most liked was how you captured that kind of innocent thought pattern that so suits the dog perspective. A few examples:
'The woman and boy came. You learned the both their names, Mom and Greg.'
'?Greg had decided to give her some gold. And that thus made her want to live with him.'
Onto the criticism. I thought that some of the writing was a little bland. There were mistakes every so often, not anywhere near as bad as the worst I've seen though, and the dialogue felt a little wooden and robotic. Maybe try to imagine what your character is like, then what they'd say to whatever they're replying to with their personality in mind. Oh, and remember to use a comma when finishing dialogue in a way that continues on the sentence (e.g: '"Look at me! I'm being developed as a character," screamed Tina with a sudden burst of break dancing.'). Reading it out loud helps too for this, as well as the general flow of everything. Watch out for 'your' and 'you're', but that's a fairly easy mistake. While it doesn't need scripting, I'd say maybe some of the options could do with being one click only (memories later on in the story or the choices to go to the creek etc. at the start, for example). Also, maybe add a sex you can pick; there were a few examples where the story was a little compromised:
'"We neutered (him/her) so that we could stop overpopulation." the woman said.' Some things are best left to the imagination too; I don't think the whole 'overpopulation' thing is necessary in speech.
All in all, a really nice story and I enjoyed it:)
5/8

This wasn't bad by any means but the story was too formulaic and the dog's perspective wasn't nuanced. You could have used the dog's point of view as a real tool in the writing, but you didn't. You needed to rely more on body language and less on verbal communication. The actual writing could use some work too. Also, I don't think you used the memories angle as well as Sethaniel did and I'd rather not see this writing type become a fad.

That being said, it was better than average and a great start! I'm excited to see what you make next.

I don't think you did a very accurate job of depicting the inner workings of a dog's brain, and I lament the fact that you switched between 1st and 3rd person narration a couple of times; but my most significant issue is with the fact that you include human dialogue, then say that the player character doesn't understand it. That messes with immersion. That said, it was totally acceptable for a first story, by virtue of the fact that the concept was good and the writing was well enough.

This was so awesome! I absolutely loved this the story was wild and honestly i think this would make a pretty good movie!

Good story but I found one typo (somewhere by the part where you rescue the family, but before you get adopted).

loved it

I’m going to cry

Not bad, I enjoyed how well it was written from an animals point of view. They way you wrote it without instigating the animal's opinion and just listing the facts. I think it could've gone with less 'You blank' starting the sentences, the repetition dragged the story down in my opinion. It got better with the second half, and I liked how you made memories in between parts of the story.

Good to kill time

It's really sad, but fun to play through.