Dead space

General Recommendation: Eh. There’s not much going on here that hasn’t been done better elsewhere.
Preview: After waking up from stasis, can you survive and figured out what disaster has struck your ship?

=SPOILERS BELOW=

General notes:
This game feels more like a plot outline to a game someone plans to write than an actual playable. This review is already more than half as long as the game itself.
The description is pretty bare bones. The images do help me visualize what the ship looks like, but all the same I’d like a bit more information than the 1-2 sentences I get at each page. For example: “After a few hours [of watching security footage], you finally discover that there are several space creatures on board the ship.” Okay, why did this take me a few hours? What kind of creatures are they? How did they get on? Maybe we could get a description of the video clip I watched that gave me this information. Actually seeing these space creatures in action would give me much more information, and go a long way towards making this a real story instead of just clicking until I find an endgame link.
This game is apparently a part one, which is doubly disappointing since it’s already so short.
This game has a lot of sci-fi concepts (memory loss, stasis, alien creatures, etc.) crammed into an extremely short game. Focusing on just a few of these concepts and taking the time to explore them in a way the player actually has control over would give a far better gameplay experience to the player.
I do like the pictures, they help set the tone, and make up for some of the barebones description.

Specific notes:
-Hmm, this game links back to the beginning instead of giving you an endgame link. Generally that’s frowned upon.

Grammar:
All good.
Mastery of Language:
Everything is “told” to the player rather than shown, to a very extreme extent.
Every decision is presented as “do you:”. This isn’t neceissarily a problem, but in more immersive games, it’s better to give the player decision options that are more tied in to the story around them.

Branching:
The game is very linear. There’s one “victory” ending the player gets shunted towards, and only a few “death” endings.

Player Options/fair choice:
Generally good.

CONCLUSION: Okay, solid plot outline. When do you plan to write it?

This was pretty interesting, and there seems to be much promise with this storygame. Issues with grammar were present, but nothing too terrible. For a short story this storygame was able to keep me curious about where it may have been going with each page that I've read.

Still, this does feels like something that would have perhaps benefited with more in terms of story. Maybe another 500 words or so could have been added in delving more into the setting, and even helped in setting the tone more. I must however say that the pictures helped in providing some decent visual enjoyment, as they fit with the actual scenes in which they were presented and didn't feel forced one bit.

For what this was, this was rather decent. There's some things that are left to be desired in term presentation, but the effort to make something to be enjoyed for those that happen to find themselves reading this storygame is there. I feel that the writer's voice is conveyed well enough at the end of the day, and that is something that I feel is to be valued when all is said and done.

Good work, ervol1.

Okay, this really did leave want for more. I finished this in about 5 minutes, and I'm not convinved it took you much longer than that to write. Seriously, if it's less than a thousand words and isn't either a short story (which I didn't get the feeling this is), or a poem (which I hope for your sake this wasn't an attempt at), then don't think about publishing until you've got at least another 5000 words under your belt.
However, this could be good! You've got pictures that actually did create atmosphere, even if it probably took you longer to find and upload them than write the story. I have to say I'm personally a sucker for a tale revolving around spaceships and all that stuff, but I was a little disappointing. Your writing was fairly good, though could do with some more compound sentences and explosive language to vamp it up (maybe that's just me having my own stylistic, convoluted taste though).
A deserved 4/8

This was a nice story overall and I did enjoy it. However, it was annoying when you did something wrong and you just went back to the beginning. It didn't matter as much in this story because it was so short, but it's still a thing to make sure that you don't do. If you want the reader to go back to the beginning then you can have that option and another one that says end game and leave comments.

The other thing that could make this story miles better is details and descriptions. You don't really describe things very much in it. You just say what's happening and then move on. If the pictures weren't there then this would be a really bland story. It almost feels like you have the outline of the story here, but you still need to add the meat of it. This has the potential to be a really good story if you actually went back and made it more immersive. It would be nice if the pictures weren't the main thing telling us what is happening in our surroundings. If I'm being honest, the picture told the story better than you did.

I really think that the alien idea was good.

It was well written for how short it was. Is there a second installment?

Good

Well, I mean, reaching an ending that says "to b continued" is better than an ending that says "you die, sucka!" But it was way too short. When it's that short, why split it into multiple parts?

Not actually related to Dead Space. Also a shit story in general. 0/8

Kinda short? Not much to do?