Player Comments on Forgotten Rose

It seems we skipped some important details here xD This game was written well, but there wasn't much depth to the actual story to say the least. I would've liked to see the relationship actually progress before seeing words like marriage and such :l

This story was decent for what it was, I suppose. Things just ended rather abrubtly, and more details about the love interest would've been much appreciated. The writing wasn't bad by any means, it just feels like quite a bit more could have been added to make this feel like more of a complete story.

Hmm... Where should I begin with this?

I don't normally play this storygames, but the name "Forgotten Rose" intrigued me enough, so I decided to head over and see what this is.

First of all, you can immediately tell the future of the storygame with your writing. With choices like "Do you go for coffee, or leave" or "Do you wait for them, or leave" You know exactly which one leads to true love, and which one doesn't. Also, the story was very short and therfore abrupt. One minute I'm having friendly coffee with someone, and then the next, I'm engaged, married, and living a good/better life.

The writing was okay-ish, with no grammar mistakes as far as I could see. However still, (and this is a common problem) there isn't much descriptivity. And I mean at all. The writing is bland enough, you don't describe anything. The reader doesn't know what the character is thinking, how the girl looks like, whether she has blue eyes or not, what the character thinks about traffic, what the assaliant looks like, whether the assaliant is a one-eyed lizard with pork chops for teeth...etc. I feel as though you could've added onto your writing and and made it more vivid, as to paint an image in the reader's mind. Try using descriptive tongue next time.

This last point is kind of short, but still important, and its the use of cliche things in this story. For example, let's look at your title, "Forgotten Rose". As far as I know, this story never mentions a character named "Rose"... or any characters at all. How is Rose forgetful? What does that even mean? It has no correlation to this story whatsoever, really. It just seems like a cliche, steamy romance-y Valentine's title.

So, with a short story, a title that is cliche and makes no sense, bland writing, I give this a 4/8. Keep trying, and please use descriptive writing.

Well the idea behind the game was good, but I think that if you're making a game about a character falling in love then the first part of the game should be about meeting them (unless they know them already), then the rest of the game should be about getting to know them and deciding if you like them or not. In this game all the character did was meet the man and then it skips right to the end where you fall in love and get married, which is kind of the important bit :p

So you're teling me this game skips EVERYTHING and
you immediately in litteraly the same page where you agreed to go on a date with a guy you met 20 minutes ago

Pretty goood!

bleh

I thought this was a cute and fun simple game. I just found this website recently & I think I might try writing some of my own - thank you for the inspo! :)

I would have liked it to be longer but I still enjoyed it.

Well, the writing was good, no grammatical errors. Plus, I thought the descriptions were nice. Quite short, as said. It was entertaining enough.

WTF!

So by your reasoning a good love story entails suffering through the subway, meeting a guy who has trouble using a... what was it an ATM I think? Then you go for coffee and several months later you are engaged? Where is the date? the actual decision making? I am no love story enthusiast, I do not get the lovey dovey stuff at all, but even I could do better than that.

I would have liked to see more development or at least go through the "date" but overall, I can see the effort was put into it so good job!

Too easy.

It was a very well written story.

The title was very nice? But it feels wasted on this story which was over in two minutes with nothing much happening. I'm not sure why I got an ending about "hate intervening" when all I did was help someone with a ticket machine, agree to have coffee with them, then the story told me I married them and lived happily ever after.

I'm not trying to be rude but this was all very underwhelming and it didn't seem like much effort went into it.

The images are all broken by the way.

It was a sweet and short story but I really wish it had been longer but a really nice job on making it, it was really cute in a way! :)

I did a different rout this time. It was good. It most definitly would of ended shorter if I had chosen something else. I think there could of been some more detail but, over all, I think it was good.

I think the idea of the story was great! It wasn't the best because time went on so fast in the end.

Yeah, I can't say I was particularly fond of this story. As a rare fan of this genre here, my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

Surprised this has survived so long. I suppose it's because most readers ignore this section, but it's definitely not a 3/8 story.

Well, let me do my part in correcting inflation.

Way tooo short

"Offer to help them use the machine... Several months later, you're engaged."

That escalated quickly. O.O

it could be longer like a first date choices or daily life type thing.

You were kinda forced to choose a choice, if that makes sense. Their were choices,but it made you choose the other choice. Why would I bring a stranger in my home?

Not really of my taste. I had just come to this genre for fun, and I had just taken out a random short one to play. I'm not saying it's bad or anything, just that it will only be enjoyed by people who are into the romantic genre.

As the others have said, it's way too short. You give hardly any time for the reader to know his or her partner, and the story is very predictable. I like your writing style, though you make a spelling error every now and then. I noticed a couple of run-on sentences as well.

I think with a little more effort and time, you could produce an excellent story. I reccommend seeing Gower or the Help and Info page for some tips on sentence structure.

Bleh

It could have much more. It was very short, with a few very noticeable grammar mistakes. Other than that, this was quite good.

I'm sorry, but I didn't like it. It was to short and it has the same ending.where your married or just be alone. It never told me the names of the people and their are not many choices. I really don't like it that much. Sorry to be mean just saying so when you make another story you know to make it better

Kind of cute but way way to short and simple.

very fast, a little too fast.

Story was to short for my liking. Could of had to much more detail then it did like participated in the the date, getting to know these people, going on multiple dates and taking part in them. Make it worth reading then you meet someone, go out for coffee then get married or don't and be alone.

Too short, not enough substance

I liked it, but there were only two endings and it was over in twenty seconds. I don't even know the name of this random stranger that I hooked up with. I think this story would benefit from having a larger range of endings and some more description, so that the reader doesn't feel like they're being pigeon-holed into something every time.

Really, it feels like this is just the story of a first encounter. Either you meet this random hot person, or you don't and that's it. I did find it a bit interesting that the protagonist is attracted to both men and women (since you can go for either) but I have a feeling that that wasn't deliberate on your part.

Could be better

forgotten rose. where is the rose?

a little short

This is great!

Waaaaaay to rushed at the end

Man, you have made a very good pick your path!

It was not about this was horrible try HARDER next time!

The story is short and most of the links say give up or keep going, but the rating is good, I dislike it when the story has mutrity level 5 because a gun is shot off,

Very short I didn't really get it.

sorry it was way too short and boring

It was short mo pictured simple and bad

good to poop on!

I finished it in 3 screens very disappointed as it had such an intriguing title

that game was bad you cant win its impossible

um ok but boring i can see that you can do more tho but add more details/pages

The end seemed inevitable and it lacked firm details, but I liked the gist of it and could feel what you were going for.

I think that it needs more description. What does this bundle of love look like?

it needs more depth

what story had was good. but was too short, only had 2 choices. I would suggest that in the future, you make the story longer with more endings

So cute

So short! I only made 2 choices before 'winning'. What was there was good, but I would recommend un-publishing and adding a bit more detail.

Brainless, empty and forced. A bad soap opera is more romantic than this.

3/8, kinda short

i thought why does this game only have a four it seems great so far. Then it ended the next click. If it was longer with more options it could be good

Good use of pictures, but there were really only two endings no matter what you did. And the descriptions were so vague that it failed to draw me in and make me feel invested in the characters.

i liked the game but wish it was longer

Odd game

... it was cute, but otherwise uninteresting.

i think that this game would have been more pleasent if you new more about the character you were playing,This game was incredibly lacking in detail and was about as entertaining as watching paint dry.

Not too bad, could be longer though

needs to be longer.

It could have been a lot better had it been longer and with more choices that weren't so obvious. I gave it a four out of eight.

really really short

boreing

It was interesting, but short

nice but too short

Much like the party-laden romance of our modern day, the experience was far too short.

I would have enjoyed it better if it was longer.

cute

Its not bad at all. I noticed some grammatical errors and it was really short though.

pretty good.

Not bad at all! I didn't get any love, however....

While I genuinely enjoyed the proper use of grammar and spelling, and I appreciated where the story was heading, I feel the major plot points were somewhat lacking and overall the experience was much too short.

good story. pretty cool too. good job.

Not spectacular but not bad either. I enjoyed the story and I love the scope you chose but I don't feel like you did anything remarkable.

ouch, a harsh reality ending there. lol i like the approach, and the fact that you had pictures. but as it has been said already, make your next one longer and with a bit more depth. great start though, keep it up.

Too short, I wish there was more to read