Seraph Serenade

I got all three endings, but the best score I could get was 45/50.
This game made very good use of items, which helps give it more replay value. I enjoyed the character interactions, but I think the pacing and dialogue could've been better. I also felt unsure about setting. There were fantastical elements, but
However, the overall story is excellent and the mood consistent. It was fun, too. Such a bittersweet tale.

I really liked your writing style. The game started out strong and ended strong, but it lagged in the middle. You definitely could have improved this by adding more special conversations or by including unique events that temporarily allow us to escape the cycle. Speaking of the cycle, you spaced it out pretty well. I played through it six time and found that you gave us a generous amount of time to do everything, maybe too much time, but not badly so. As mentioned before a few special events would be fantastic. Lastly, I would suggest adding a few more options to the regular cycle. A few more ways to waste time, an extra way to score points, and maybe something harder to find that gives us access to a fourth ending (I found them all by the way, the worst ending was the hardest for me to earn ironically) Something that bothered me at the beginning is that it says, "A human girl..." Are there nonhuman girls? Such as elves or the like? Well apparently there are Seraph's, except she tells us that she is just a normal kid, except she can disappear at a whim... That irks me a bit, but it's okay. It may well be intentional. Reading this is a good use of time none the less.

This story has so much potential. The author is talented, and has a good sense of expression and small details that create a relationship. The game is a little too precious, especially in Seraph's characterization--a little too "lovely, lonely, magical dream girl" lurking just on the border of her world and mine.

But at the same time, there's something interesting and wistful and moody about the atmosphere created here, and that's not easily done. That in itself is worth a read just to see what's done right here.

The two biggest flaws, though:

1) the shortcuts taken in the writing. Choosing to talk with her gives you "Talking with her makes you feel relaxed. You tell her about your school." That, to me, is just giving up as a writer. What is relaxing about her? What do you tell her? In a love story, we need to fall in love a bit with your characters, and you do that by spending time with them. These shorthand dialogues zip past the atmosophere.

2) The repetitive day-by-dayness of the actual gameplay, of finding money to buy gifts. The middle of the game with its central loop of "what do we do now?" drags terribly when what we want is to interact with the central relationship of the game.

Not bad. Quite simple, short and sweet, things of such a nature.
Grammar could've been better but I'm not really urked by that kind of thing.
Good use of items.

It had good pace but I wish there was more foreshadowing to the ending. I liked how the choices actually made a difference in score. Good use of objects.

It was Kinda short but sweet

Its good but it is underdeveloped

D:

This was a great story! So very sad. Thank you.

I looked all for this game. I'm glad that I was able to find it again, this just really tugs at the reader's heartstrings and I personally found the writing to be quite beautiful.

Sad :c