The Deeps

Overall, I liked it. It was a nice little tidbit of a story game with a nice amount of branching paths, imaginative concepts, and great description. However, it would've been nicer if there was an ending (or a path) that explained why I was down in the tunnels in the first place or a bit more backstory in the beginning on who I was playing as, but that is just my preference since I am more inclined towards the story rather than the adventure. Also, there's an ending where I chose to go to the forest to live with some animals, but I think it's unfinished since it seems to be cut short. (The last sentence was just the word 'You' without a period) I hope this helps.

It reminds me a bit of the old dungeon crawling games. For some reason I still don't like the whole "north, east, west" thing these games always use. It's pretty disorienting for me, the person who has no sense of direction. Well, I liked that you added some descriptions and flavour text though I would have liked to get a little bit more sense of the atmosphere. The death scenes don't bother me that much, though I think the average player experience could be better if you wouldn't die on your first choice.

"West to the river
The peacefulness of the river overwhelms you, so you go to the shore and untie the boat. You step in, which pushes the boat enough to float down the river. There are no oars, but you don't mind. You relax as you float down the river.


***


Years later, you own a boat and a small fishing shack. Although not luxurious, you feel very happy. You die happy, and one of your fisherman friends gives you a proper funeral; putting you in your boat with your rusted stick that was once a sword and your old fishing pole and sending you down the river."

Uh... so do i get to know which choice is the 'best' ending in your opinion?

mhauhahahaha!!! i AM the void

I was interested in the beginning, but quickly lost interest.

While your descriptions are pretty good, and no spelling/grammar errors jumped out at me, the storygame consisted of live/die links. They provide little branching and are annoying when the person wants to actually read the story.

It's one of the better "first storygames".

I created werewolves muhahaha

It's great. I like the riddles. Expand a little more on the ending and it will be better.

I think that you should give the reader a choice whether to end the story or continue and do something like small missions or something like that. I also think the endings should be a little longer and more descriptive.

I finished the incomplete ending and I made a few more endings.

wait what? im soooooo confused.