The Phone Call

Quick playthrough and fairly linear, although it does an good job of putting the reader in the hellish context of one who cannot help but punish themselves for what they consider their greatest failing, even when there was nothing they could have done in the grand scheme of things.

Well written and thoroughly proofread. Strong grammar and flow of text. Does a good job of using the looping facilitated by the mechanics of site to sell the recurring nature of the story.

idk what was going on lol

This game is underrated. Although the story was too ambiguous for me to interpret completely, I kind of got the vibe that the protagonist was in a coma after the car accident and replaying recent events over and over in their head, and maybe hearing what Alex was saying to us at our bedside or on the phone? The sensitive subject matter hit deeper than most, and I liked how the genders of the main characters were all neutral and could be either throughout. This story could be fleshed out and polished more, but I feel that it deserves a 5/8 (I have a soft spot for cyclical/looping games, like my favorite story The Paradox Factor and my own story The Fire).

This is a little underrated. It's probably because it's linear and not everyone's cup of tea. This is as described, bare bones, but they are of good quality.

This story seems underrated to me, I love psychological horror and this really did it well. The twist is unsettling and while the story is basically linear, it works here. You can't truly give the experience of being caught in a hellish cycle when there's an easy way to click out of it.

I see what you were going for the lines really show a raw emotional story (maybe a personal nightmare), Sadly the way it was presented was very disorienting and hard to follow and could use a little bit of touch ups but I think it has potential sooo just keep working at it.

First time I've ever heard pregnant silence used in a sentence.

Liked the aesthetic of the story and how it went along for the majority of the beginning, felt like it fell flat a little towards the ending but not to much for it to detract essence from the overall feel.

Like from what I first said I feel like some of the idioms and similes used were kind of confusing, but maybe it was just me.

Found quite a number of spelling errors but I feel like it shouldn't take all that much time to fix them in the paths that they were in.

Quite dissapointed in the linearity of the story so hope you try to make it more expansive next time you make a story.

Overall not bad.

Overview: this story game is about uncovering the secrets of your past via a mysterious phone call. Personally I enjoyed the story a lot, but here is my review!!

Positives:
-The story isn’t really fucking obvious from the start. I thought that maybe Alex (the one calling) committed suicide and the story was about your regret for not picking up/ listening to them when they needed you most, but learning that it was your death that Alex caused was a pretty good twist (even if there was very little set up as far as I am aware).
-There’s not any/many grammar mistakes (as far as I can make out) and it reads relatively smoothly.
-The relationship between the POV character and Alex is pretty well established and builds a lot of empathy for the character, especially when we find out they are being abused.

Things to improve:
-Some of the description is a bit weird, especially the bit about a scratch under ‘your largest organ’. That was slightly strange because I don’t think many people associate the skin with an organ, even though it is, and it doesn’t really make a lot of sense.
-This game is very linear, there’s essentially one path to take even though you can go through it in a few different ways, your actions don’t have any major story consequences.
-I’m deaf so have never heard a phone call, seems pretty ableist to me friend

Jokes aside this is pretty well written and well paced, can’t wait to see what you make next!! :)

Oh, wow. I thought about trying to do one of those review things I see other people do, but seeing as I’ve never written a story I’m not going to try to criticize others’. Thins is a great story, though!

Interesting story a bit confusing for me but still a decent read!