Player Comments on Danny Phantom's Adventure

I'm sure the author had fun writing this, and the making the illustrations too. It is very short. This has a typical kid's show fanfic approach. We know the main character, we know what he or she can do, we know the setting. The main character does "the thing" in "the place," the end.

Other comments are praising this as "beautifully written" but I can't agree.

“Next to that one is a harder to see black door, but the light radiating off of the white one reveals the handle that was in the shape of a horse's head. You decide that the white door looks much safer so you slowly open it, feeling a warm breeze against your face as you did so.”

This is pretty representative. It's a little awkward and tense frequently changes midsentence. I'm not cherry-picking here, it happens several times per page. There are also a few places where the word choice is strange. Describing falling snowflakes as "Flowing" instead of floating or falling, a door "beckoning" to "be opened" not beckoning you to open it, which would be normal usage of the word. Despite how short the story is the author found many places to use words in almost the right way.

This was someone's first storygame here, and they probably weren't very old. Credit where credit is due. Nice job. This is a very shallow but fun dip into a good cartoon.

It has that classic CYOA feel to it, you know the children’s book series. It’s certainly a first try, and reminds me of my first tries from years ago when I wrote some stories on here under a different user name.

I love it so much! great game!

meh. I'm too far gone at this point to say anything useful.

Totally rad

Good has allot of potential. The one path I took was a tad bit short for my tastes but still it was beautifully written.

Bruh, this was fucking dark souls epic but like can I fuck Sam plz?

it was too lewd 10/10 i loved it

Nice game! I like to watch Danny phantom.

It wasn't very fun, but if it is one of your first stories, I think it is quite okay.

short but good

Not bad.

Lame, just plain lame.

It was a little too small of a story but maybe I can help you if you want to write more if these.

Cool

Great just like the first. But you could add more detail, plot and length!

White door is cool, grammer is fine but it doesn't hurt to add more length. :3

this was very exiciting and well writting Im glad I read it :D

I like the enthusiasm, but the plot just isn't my style and it's got its fair share of grammatical errors as well. Overall, not bad!

Sick story bruh, David Foster Wallace is nothing compared to you

I really liked this!

I got every single ending, and I think it was great! Good job.

It was fun :)

I loved this show when I was younger! I just wish you made it longer, good job though.

I really enjoyed it, but it was really short... though I miss Danny Phantom so much I think its going to cause me to start watching again.

YES I WON
I think
does getting back home mean you won?
Anyways I loved the pictures and I love the story :) The choices aren't obvious on which will be right and it was gr8

Eh, not bad.

Just a few typos here and there. Great story!

Very neat, well done :D

I loved watching Danny Phantom growing up, so I couldn't pass up the opportunity to read this little game. Very short but brings back good memories.

Short, but had plenty of engaging pictures and the length felt somewhat akin to an episode of the show. Enjoyable.

It's ok, though I would advise more options and more detail

A little strange. I don't like the idea of automatically being put into a choice on the first page. But, brilliant photography use and wording.

awesome loved it so much

I love this! You should make a sequel!

While it was a bit short, it flowed well, and I enjoyed it.

WAY to short, also not enough choices.

It was a bit shorter than expected, and a bit illogical with the choices. However, the story works well in such a condensed format.

NICE

Make it longer but was good

It was really good and i love the use of piurted.

I guess I followed the short path. Good game, you can put more elements and make it a more interesting story.

Very cool,I'm glad I didn't choose the blue sphere!

Nay, didn't like it. Spelling errors. Quite linnia. Very short and weird. 1/8

Good story, just a tad short. that was the only flaw.

How amusing.

Fun, easy, and enjoyable game! The pictures definitely added to it.

Amazing especially because I LOVE Danny Phantom!!!

I really liked it! The game is kinda short but I think that's actually a good thing since it's intended for a younger audience. Really nice to see a decent CYS game that's suitable for kids ^_^

This was enjoyable.

This was actually quite good! It was very well written, but a tad too linear I must say. If not a then b. You still did a good job, and the nostalgic factor was good.I haven't seen that show in forever.Next time, go for harder puzzles, from what I read you're definitely smart enough. Overall, I enjoyed myself, good job!

Okay game

Such an enjoyable story. You had fantastic images and allowed the player to think their way out of a situation. I also love how you kept the original characters powers and voices, how you would expect them to say things in the show, the same. One of the best in this category.

Great writing

Four words:
I. LOVE. DANNY. PHANTOM.
Awesome game! It makes me think, and really have to decide what to do, and what would be best for the situation. It doesn't matter that it's short. ^.^

I love Danny Phantom! This was totally awesome!

I haven't seen Danny Phantom in forever. This was very refreshing and enjoyable.

Too short man!!!

I actually really liked it:)

pretty good.

:/ its good but not great

Great story! i'am a big fan of danny myself. very good job on writing from his prespective. good pics, and great endings.

I've seen the show and I'm not exactly a big fan. But the storygame was good and I enjoyed it.

Pretty good. I've seen the show. Not a big fan, though, but I enjoy the story game. Keep up the good work.

I played it once more, and I really like the Tournament like path branching... hmm...

Ugh. I hated the show, so I was going to leave a bad review. But this is very interesting. Very... interesting

i liked danny phantom and this game rekindled that like of it

5/8

This one was okay, loved the pictures though.

it's not bad. Great pictures, but way too short. One of the best in the category though.
march

it's not bad. Great use of pictures - don't know who this danny is though!

Woah! I expected this to be lame, but this is good even if it's short! 6/8!

the pictures rocked and i realy liked the one where danny is evil

I hate the Danny Phantom show, but this story was okay.

I've never heard of that show but I loved this game. Extremely well written and terrific illustrations! I spotted no spelling mistakes at all. That was awesome.

Very well written, beautiful pictures, great story, plenty of choices and arcs. One of the better stories in the Fan Fiction category. It's a bit short, but I think it works well that way. If you'd expand on the background, with more descriptions on each character, I'd enjoy it even more.

That was really enjoyable. The pictures were more that great, they were fantastic! The story was really well written, I liked the pacing of it. The choices were logical and easy to overcome, with some thought. Defiently worth every cent.

Great writing and art

nice addition to the site. just needs more depth in story. keep working on new stories.

Very cool, and well-written. And did you draw some of those pictures yourself? They were fantastic! ^_^

Bad Subject, good writing.

I love your picture of Danny turning back to normal! you made him even more of a hottie than he already was!

This was pretty good. Not the best game though.

Very descriptive but not long enough.

Not bad for your first game, but the choises were limited, but other than that, it was alright.