Demons Stole the Sky

The story was short, which I can appreciate and the writing was fine, I didn't think it was good nor bad. Although, it didn't amaze me either. The grammar seemed good, spelling as well, so in those categories this story is decent. However, there some problems I had plot-wise mostly.

The plot reminded me of a point and click style game, where you go around clicking objects trying to find items that you will need later, which in it of itself is fine if that's what you were going for. However, most -- if not all -- point and click style games have puzzles and clues that keep it interesting and really grabs the player, or in this instance reader. This didn't have anything like that, so I found it a bit boring at times. I think I would be able to excuse how forced the plot seemed if the puzzle aspect was a part of it. The plot, itself, appeared to just kind of happen, and at times I felt like my choices didn't really matter.

When the story first started I expected this to lean more towards a futuristic story line, where there would be lots of robots and fancy tech, but that did not happen. I was also expecting to have something happen between the triplets and their ability to talk to one another, but that was never brought up again.

Speaking of the triplets I found that no matter which point of view you chose to go, the story is still the same, so I don't understand why we are given the option to choose. The characters, in general, were very few and when there was a character we weren't given names or much information on them, and I am of the mindset that characters always make a bad story. Your story can be the most cliche thing, but if your characters are interesting it will keep a reader in the world. This didn't have that going for it either, which could be because of the point and click style game aspect. In such game, the main character doesn't really speak much since in most of these games, you are supposed to put yourself into the character. Nevertheless, you could have experimented with the NPCs. Making them likable, or giving them something to grab the reader.

Overall, as a first piece of writing it is serviceable. I enjoyed it, but there is some work that can be done to make it better. I do think there is potential here and for these authors.

Um... I didn't understand the point of the story. Sure, the triplets decide to go save the world, but that doesn't really explain the purpose of finding all the items. Also, it's really confusing to find everything, the death ends make ot tedious, and the plot wasn't really fleshed out. At least offer a better connection between characters, settings, and purpose.

Grammar... Gr... I noticed a few mistakes, but after a while lost track due to my frustration in how hard it is to "beat the game". I wasn't able to survive, so maybe there's a point where the writing or such improved, but it didn't happen early on and was completely frustrating to play.

I like the title. :)

The writing was ok and the story was interesting but the plot is based on getting a large number of items that makes things very repetitive. Also some of the deaths are a bit sudden and the spelling, grammar and some of the links need clearing up a little, original idea though :)

You received an ehh on the nomnom scale. You kept on needing the items to survive which kinda got annoying towards the end. Also the deaths were a bit too sudden... Well like I say to most of you guys nice try!

its was as yummy as ass

This was really fun tobpkay

Good game.
But I felt like I was trapped in the demon's prison : I struggled through the fall into the lava then drunk the water from the flask I got in the desert. But then I went back to the same crossroad, through the same actions, but I had no more water so I died... Was it a glitch or did I miss something?

I liked this story, it was pretty fun. The part about choosing a triplet was useless tho. I suppose this could have used a bit more plot but I liked the open care free feel of it.

There are so many ways to just go into a loop. If you drink water, it is basically like just pressing the back button a couple of times, but you still have water. What’s the point in having the tiger place, I figured out that you can use the claw and tooth to go down the cliff, but you can also just go around the cliff, rendering the tiger stuff useless. There was not that much text, and the text that was there didn’t really make since. No point in the desert as water is just a way to reset in the prison, and the granola, compas, and bracelet all have no use. I didn’t even pick up the shield, but when I was fighting the demon, I somehow dented my imaginary shield. Either I’m bad at riddles, or the riddle with the bottles made absolutely no sense at all. Doesn’t seem like that much effort was put into it, especially considering that three different people helped make it.

"Normal rain

You open it, and see a white cloud coming out.


1 month later:


Mankind has praised you as a hero - your valiant efforts to save the clouds have borne fruit. You get everything you have ever wanted, including unlimited amounts of water.


Congratulations! You got the best ending of the game!"

I find it kind of depressing that I have no use for the silver bracelet and the granola bar, but other then that, the game is entertaining in general. So, to save some time for some players, the key is a must, the two notes are important (and comments regarding use of items from the author contains lies) while the color purple is the best choice in the end. ;)