"Too few ratings to be ranked"
Played times (finished )
"Trek through the forest"
"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"
"Need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.
Based Off A True Story
The story of a noob who entered a writing contest.
I enjoy the point around the page 'Never, never, never give up' where the author's typing ability starts disintegrating completely, really giving the impression the keyboard was being frantically mashed, perhaps with vision blurred by tears of regret for all the time wasted while rivulets of mascara cascaded down their cheeks. Just adds a nice touch of realism.
I was wondering if anyone would be moved at the last minute to throw out the contest theme completely and bash something completely random together to attempt to save their worthless points. Frankly I'm just grateful it was Cricket and not me.
I hope the judges and reviewers will look kindly upon this 1000 word apology/feeble excuse offered up by this squirming insect (Name/avatar appropriate! Another nice touch!) but either way, Cricket, today you are better than Ebon and should feel proud.
(You were right btw that you're not really well known enough to have gotten custom insults if you had wound up as just another SHAMED noob...however reading the other comments I see going above and beyond has already gotten you noticed and reaped rewards there. We can only assume that you and Corgi will forever haunt each other's most erotic nightmares.)
on 6/1/2018 5:33:48 PM with a score of 0
Uh... Well, yeah, it was a story. I mean, it didn't have me clawing my eyes out in agony and the ending came swiftly enough that i didnt go through any suffering.You have proven you can coherently write, and maybe reflect on your life decisions. ;)
— LTea Eccentrix on 6/6/2018 3:39:18 PM with a score of 0
I am sorry to ask this, but was the title of this story based on the story itself? I don’t really understand. The contest was supposed to be about giving the reader “the feels” and have an emotional reaction to reading the story. I guess “ugh” is a feeling.
The idea behind the story is nice, but I’m not sure how it fit into the contest at all. That said, the idea could be fleshed out quite a great deal more to make it effective and useful. And the story starts out rather poorly with the classic, “Pick the right choice or die.” That’s really not needed in these stories, and certainly not in a story that’s competing for a contest here. If you’re going to add choices to the story, those choices should have an effect on the story, not just be quick endings to get out of the story.
The writing is good, as is the structure. I’m not sure about the options in the story. Basically every option appears to be “Choose the correct choice or you lose.” And in every case, the correct choice is quite obvious. And yes, there are simply too few options in this story to be an effective story. I’d suggest you work more with the story, develop comprehensive choices and options, and have those options have a clear effect on the story. Thank you for sharing this with the site, and I encourage you to write more, but perhaps without a contest and deadline so that you can more fully develop a story.
on 6/1/2018 11:12:41 PM with a score of 0
It's certainly entertaining, though short. There are a few typos here and there but nothing so horrible that it stood out. As I can see in your comment, you happen to be one of the people who you mock in your story for "writing eight hours before the deadline" in the Winner's Ending. I found that quite amusing.
Overall, I cave it a 3. It is only 1,000 words after all, and I feel like this would have been a lot better if you had the time to flesh it out. You should also specify in the first page that it is the application deadline you are looking at (the one that you say is in a couple of hours) rather than the contest deadline, as it makes for a very confusing timeline. It isn't badly-written though. I feel like given more time and effort, you could produce something of substance. I look forward to reading your stories in the future ^_^
on 6/1/2018 2:51:49 PM with a score of 0
And, not only that, but you commented on your own story and gave yourself an 8 rating? I take back anything even remotely nice I could have said in my last comment.
You sir, are the worst kind of noob, and I hope you rot in Noob Hell.
on 6/1/2018 2:24:31 PM with a score of 0
So first you say the contest deadline is in a few hours, but then later go on to say it is in a couple of months?
Honestly it seems like you created this storygame, ignored it the whole time, then only wrote it within the last couple of hours before the deadline just to avoid the pit of shame.
Like the sorry inept fool of a noob that you are.
Honestly Cricket, next time you could at least be diligent and write a nice 20,000 word entry for the contest? Like you don't seem like you'd be a bad writer, you just need to stop being a lazy piece of shit and the rest will follow.
Despite avoiding the pit of shame you should still be ashamed of yourself.
on 6/1/2018 2:23:07 PM with a score of 0
The story was all right, but it was very short, and it had a few typos.
It seems as if the author wrote this in a few hours late at night.
on 6/1/2018 2:22:46 PM with a score of 0
I really, really wanted to give this an 8.
on 6/1/2018 10:59:38 AM with a score of 0
Show All Comments
Love & Dating
Mystery / Thriller
Puzzles / Games
News & Updates
The Parlor Room
Adv. Editor Forum
Bugs and Problems
Help & Info
Terms Of Service
Who Is Online
70 guests and
version 21.5 | ChooseYourStory © 2001 - 2021, Halogen Studios Entertainment |