Kingdom Conquest

The grammar in this was terrible but just barely good enough where I knew what was going on and was able to usually know what should have been written. That may be worse than having grammar that’s incomprehensible because it means I couldn’t just skip everything and say, “Thx for the free point lol.”
Well, I suppose I could have, but then I would have been annoyed at myself.

There were so many words used incorrectly. “There” instead of “their,” “ring” instead of “wring,” “no” instead of “know” … Many sentences were not capitalized either, and the tense change between thoughts and narration was confusing, because there wasn’t actually anything marking what the thoughts were a good portion of the time.
Probably most of the sentences were run-ons, and the author seems to have an aversion to using double quotes to mark dialogue.
I don’t know how good the writing would have been if these and all the other grammar issues were fixed. I was too distracted to pay much attention.

A lot of the ends are exactly the same, and many paths have multiple ways to reach them. Still, branching was definitely existent. That’s really the best thing I can say about this.
I’ve seen worse, but this was bad. You faggots who read reviews before stories should just skip this one.

Oh boy, this intro sounds exciting! This is the way to create an intro authors – it is quick, to-the-point, and it makes people want to read the story. The story itself was lots of fun, too. There were lots of options and different ways to take the story. Your choices really did have an effect on the story, and that’s a big key to an effective CYS story. It only took me a few tries to become king and rule for a long, long time, so that was fun. It was also fun seeing the different endings and other ways to NOT end up as king.

There were a few different typos, so as another commenter mentioned, a little editing and proofreading could help, but they didn’t really take too much away from the story. There wasn’t a lot of description, but there was a lot of action and I really felt like I was in the story and that the story really drove me forward with the action – excellent job with the pacing of the story. Overall, this is a really nice story, thank you for sharing it with the site.

I think you spelled "let the people no" instead of "let the people know" under the "New Recruits" page, I enjoyed this storygame.

It was very engaging and I defiantly recommend it to anyone who has a fascination with stuff like kings,war,and other things like that.

I'm the king baby

Great Job!!!!

"Remaining as King for many years, You reigned until your own death at the Age of 72. Your reign was filled with conquests and invasions But also with honor and glory, your legacy will go down in history as one of the greatest kings of the realm.
In the month after your death your son Arcadias was crowned king and your dynasty lasted a thousand years.
"

So will there ever be a sequel for this game?

Well that was easy.

Well done. While this game wasn't the longest of it's genre, it was quite enjoyable, as each choice required a certain degree of strategy to overcome others for the throne. I couldn't help but notice some mistakes with grammar however, but that didn't detract too much from the overall experience of this game.

In the end it wasn't as much of a CYOA as a story. Good idea though.