new night

I'm so glad this story got unpublished.

THIS IS STUPID whoever made this is dumb gosh you should finish it

What..

Thank god the first page had an end game link..

Err...

Well, you could work on your grammar a little bit.

How is this not deleted?

Alright, now I kinda want this to stay on the site. While it is crap, it'll show people how not to make a storygame. Some people have no grasp for grammar, and actually gave this an 8... Another lesson from this story: Know how to rate a crappy story.

-_-

A clear troll game, otherwise why would there be an end game link on the first page? The account this was posted on has no activity whatsoever besides creating an account and creating, publishing and rating the piece of shit you call 'new night'. I call bull shit. Although, I have to say, still better than twilight.

Looking past the riduculous grammatical errors and the fact that this isn't even finished, your story is too cliche. "A young girl becomes a vampire and has to learn how to live with it" is too generic for me.
If you want to write a story that people will actually like, make sure it's interesting. Most importantly, it has to be complete. This, as it is, is no good.

This was just... Terrible. You suck at games. I'd stop making them at all if. I were you. Absolutely horrible. I hated every minute of it. You grammar makes you look like a three year old. Actually, worse. You haven't even been born yet, girl. Ugh. That story just wasted part of my life. You are terrible at writing games.

... What was that...

I would fix your grammar (ALOT) and fix the writing. No detail and absolutely no interesting bits. Also, you haven't finished. I would probably finish your story before posting.

If I were you, I'd take this down. Maybe permanently, unless you can do a MAJOR makeover on this thing.