The Epic Adventure of Epicness

Well this was something of an extraordinarily random adventure to say the least. I'm still somewhat bewildered as to how its possible to be knocked out with a throwing star of all things, and there's ninjas armed with guns at that. I must say, this was rather interesting.

This game was funny for the most part, but its not a story without its share of problems unfortunately. This game seems to have only one 'correct' path for the player to follow, there's really nothing here in terms of branching or deviating from the intended path. So I'm very hard pressed to really call this an adventure, all of the incorrect choices lead to the reader's demise and a restart link. While some of those dead ends were funny, not all of them were, and that adds a element of frustration here in this game.

I liked the pictures in this storygame, they correlated well with the quirkiness and overall tone of the dialogue. I think its apparent that the writer has a rather entertaining imagination, because this story never fails to have some sort of random or lively moment taking place in the pages. But sometimes I couldn't help but feel that this game could've dialed back down on the randomness in some parts.

You certainly show some promise, but I would recommend in the future to work on making a storygame that takes into account things like linearity and branching, choices, character development, etc.

This was okay, but there are things here that hurt the overall presentation of this storygame.

What's with your choice of weapons? "knocks you out cold with a throwing star."? How are you even suggesting that's possible? (And for the record, it IS possible, but using a throwing star in the normal way? Would traditionally either kill you flat out or just leave you with an extremely mild wound if it hit. And no. Pressure points are not the answer for blades.)

It'd make sense if he just hit a pressure point with a martial arts move. Or a blunt weapon. A careful hit in the right spot with a bokken, maybe. (I say "careful" because its primary ability is to break bones.)

The other part I don't get... one of the ninjas kills you casually with... a gun? Wtf? >_> Using a gun, especially when it's unnecessary, kind of removes what's cool about a ninja in the first place. (And unless you're just trying to be random, they worship cows in INDIA, not Japan. -.-')

1. Why is this in Edutainment?

2. Change the title to "The Linear Adventure of Linearness"

3. Give some more background.

4. More than 2 links on each page!

This took me forever to beat on a phone that can't go back, and how random it was just angered me. I like random stories, but not if they're so linear that you have to guess and choose the link that's most likely to kill you each time.

A good first attempt, but having to play that over 15 times just to win one game pissed me off.

it's just boring

It seems this story was supposed to a kind of random adventure, but the way is was structured really ruined any enjoyment for me.

This story is very linear and forces you along one particular path. On most pages there are only two choices, and one leads to instant death. However, the other one loops you back to the start instead of providing an end game link. After several pages of this, I focused more on just choosing which option would progress me rather than actually caring about the story. Being forced to restart was very frustrating, especially as many of the outcomes were random and could not be anticipated. Providing end game pages for these deaths would have increased my enjoyment immensely.

Overall, could be better.

The only thing epic about this adventure was the title. This whole story seemed kind of random with little plot. It was rather underdeveloped and boring because I didn’t really laugh at the writing of it was trying to be comedic which it seemed to be.

Also there were links looping back to the beginning without proper deaths which I found annoying as well as the lack of length in the story. If it was meant to be a comedic random story then it wasn’t for me because I wasn’t amused.

I think this story would have benefitted from a more puzzle like feel or more action adventure antics but those are my suggestions other than making it longer and more descriptive as well as less random.

I forced myself to beat this just so I could give it a 1. Worth it.

what even is this?

The random actions were quite amusing XD

Grammar and spelling weren't too bad either

Not bad, it was extremely random but a good job.