Player Comments on The Virtual Reality Game

Well, I clicked on this game expecting a bit more than the game delivered. But it is not the worst game out there, and I can see where the author at least tried to do something with it.

I initially liked the idea of this game, since placing the main character in VR allows one to suspend logic and even physics.

This story turned out to be a Lolrandom type of game, but carrying out this type of story takes a bit more skill than many folks realize. It's more than just putting random weird stuff in the story. Not everyone will be the next Douglas Adams. This storygame did not really deliver the randomness well.

I actually wish the author would have left the randomness out of the story at least until getting inside the VR. This would have most likely led to a higher rating in my opinion, and possibly a much smoother storyline. For example, instead of having my neighbors big dogs eat me and end story simply because I went there, perhaps give me an out to continue on my path. I didn't find this random death funny or productive to the narrative.

The characterization was pretty weak. I found it a little hard to get into the mind of the main character and understand his motivations.

The writing was a bit choppy. Additionally, this story could have been a lot better with a bit more description and imagery. How did it feel for the main character to go outside finally? How did he feel after finding this new VR game? etc.

The story seemed to do a pretty good job with branching. There was a variety of choices and many of those impacted the game.

Overall, this was a good concept, that was underdeveloped. With enough effort it has the potential to be a solid game.

This story suffers from the common problem of lacking detail. At most there is a paragraph on each page. While thus is more acceptable when used in interactive fiction, so that the reader can quickly advance the game, you still need to find a balance. Describe what the levels look like. Describe the fear. Explain things. Create dialogue. What you have here is a summary: "You did that, then you did that." Go into the actions in detail.

Another annoying thing were the choices. Oftentimes they were random. Sometimes you would do something, and would be sent directly to the End Game and Leave Comments page without explanation as to how you died. Besides that, the interactive part was mostly done well with consequences and such (despite the fact that nearly every other choice lead to death.)

It also felt a bit pointless to have the random choices at the start which had no effect on the virtual reality and just rambled on. What does a gingerbread house evil lady have to do with a sci-Fi virtual reality game? It felt meaningless to have that and that section was prone to change genres quickly. Cut to the arcade!

Also, the friend disappeared so many times, coming in and out of the story at random.

Despite these faults, though, this story has some nice potential. You understand punctuation, spelling, grammar, and capitalization. You understand how to make a story interactive. And I enjoyed the game even with its drawbacks. Keep on writing :D

This thing suffers from having a little paragraph at most for the pages. Yeah, that means you can progress faster, but balance is key. Describe it in detail. The random choices are okay (they're not in the real world), but the fact that you put fewer sentences than me in my first storygame (which also suffers from being vague) kind of makes this deserve a 3/8 from me. This story will benefit from more details.

Hi my name is Prudence. If you are an astute person you probably discovered that I have spent 48 hours reading these books because I am depressed because of my name that my mother gave me because she lost a bet. And to finish this, I am so sad, the books are over. If you want me to continue living, marry me!! And give me dog food, I like it.

pluto is malevoulous

I don't understand what I just read lol

its ok

liks

bad

Huh. I think at some point we are supposed to forget that it was a virtual reality game in an arcade. And forget about that friend too. But... interesting.

i love it.

Very creative and a great concept, just not really done the right way. There are too many meaningless options at some points. Still, I think you did a good job.

Pretty funny not the best certainly not the worst definitely describes it.

changing the rating worth every quarter * hint hint nudge nudge*

That was interesting but took me a few tries to actually get to vertical reality

Fun fun fun fun fun fun!

THE GAME SUCKS

Wow, some really tall dogs just... eat me up?

LOL

Yea, Nothin' scares me c'cept dolls. Yea, dolls. Dis was a littl' creepy.

I ate sand. LOL

I became a mountaineer and lived with a guy on the mountains.

I got eaten. . .

Not happy with my first over too quick ending at the gingerbread house, but I will play this again.

Stupid and confusing

this so much fun!

i liked it but it doesnt make sense if you dont realize the end

that's a wierd storyline.

Several different endings and kind of interesting.

Wow. That wasn't what I expected.

Sorry, I had to drop my rating to three, as it lacked text and descriptions. Sorry man, or kid. I often find that stories with little text also had lots of spelling errors but this wasn't the case. It feels as if you didn't take enough time to describe everything. You're supposed to get the reader into a virtual reality, not to just click the links so he can comment the game. Needs more descriptions. Tell me when you've done that and I will happily replay it.

WTF? Not too bad, I guess. 4/8 on my first run, will try it again in a sec.

Aw...I went insane (in the game).

This game had a good idea but it was to linear. You just need to add more and polish it up a bit.

cool game

Boring

Too Linear

I actually liked this game!Sure, it was a bit linear, but I found the subject matter made up for it.Just needs a bit more, ya know? More plot/characterization. Some polish and this will shine!

No comment.

Needs more levels and more choices/story line

creative ish

okay.

its alright

I really like this idea. It was rather linear at times which kind of detracted from the uniqueness of it. I think if you created more paths, it would be a lot more interesting and fun to play.

nice man.

It's like a really small twilight zone. '_'

it is prety good i guess just work harder and put more links in it.

Well, that made...little sense. It seems like you added a bunch of links just for the sake of having them at times. I do like the replayibility though.

...Meh-ish at best. There was enough effort, but not much else. And very linear at times.

that was a fun!!! getting exploditized by a pineapple is way coolio!!! Thank you!!!!

I died way too quickly.

before I could get into it...it was over.

Very entertaining

Overly Linear in some parts.

I thought it was very funny. I loved all the different variety's of locations you could go to. Very open ended.

Nicely done, interesting scenes in each level.

You guys are like soo totally copy-cats! I told you about virtual-reality. But i still liked oh well no hard feelings.

There is certainly not much plot structure, but it's replayable, I'll give you that.

There are several sections of the game where it just quits, with no logical explaination. please fix.

This is the greatest game (possibly not) I have ever played! I gave myself a rating of 8! Thanks, myself!

Awesome game, good job.

Freakish. Surreal. Absurdly funny.

I'm an obese blob the size of a T-Rex hahahahaha.

Good use of the "virtual reality" concept. The writing could be a little more polished, but overall a very nice game.

That was funny all the crazyness was pretty cool so good job.

I finished it properly and reckon it's even better. I couldn't get past Level Three until I took the "alternate" route, but I still reckon it is great, it has great writing and everything. Nicely done.

Not the absolute best but an interesting concept which really is quite immersing. Definitely has replayability.