Actually, that's not what I'd do. You're wrong again! I would go back in time and kill the guy who invented CFC gasses and leaded fuel, so the 1800s will be a much cleaner place!
Due to a recent post by Kiel, for some reason I feel the urge to go back in time and kick Ghandi in the nuts and tell him to stop being an asshole. I wouldn't actually elaborate any further than that though, I'd just leave him to ponder what the hell happened as I suddenly disappeared before his eyes back to my own timeline laughing the whole while.
I'd go back to the year 2000 where Malkalack would be approximatley 10 years old eating ice cream on a hot summer day. I'd slap that ice cream to the ground. That one act would drive him to grow a set and be a real man.
Too bad your knowledge of fire arms is next to shit, so you'd miss and I'd just walk away like it was nothing.
You'd be better off getting close and personal with a shot gun. That way, you wouldn't miss.
I'd go back before I said all these mean things to Malk, and hug it out....
I'd wait for him to lower his guard, and...
I would go back in time to the year where CobaltBlaze decided to subtly troll to cast doubt on the US military, and tell him to stop.
:)
Are you smiling because I acknowledged respect to your nation, or saw through your guise, I wonder....
Smiling cuz you're a funny guy.
You're not a very well-versed troll, # @CobaltBlaze . You should know I don't venture into the daylight when I can avoid it.
Mediocre, at best.
Son, it's not your fault.
Of course it isn't. I can't take responsibility for your lack of trolling prowess. I recommend this article if you're really struggling.
Hey, Malk? I don't know a lot. You see this? All this shit? (points at troll article)
It's not your fault. Fuck them, ok?
No, it's not. I don't write for WikiHow. I decided to do you a service, and help you be a better troll.
Please tell me you got the Good Will Hunting reference, or was that before your time? Just asking, not trolling.
Haven't seen it. Good movie?
Click this man
Thank you for the meme. I will cherish it forever.
EDIT: GAH! Yahoo! You heathen!
EDIT EDIT: Holy fuck. That's powerful...
I need to watch that sometime.
I'd go back in time to around 1990 and use my knowledge of the future to fuck with people. I'd tell people that something would happen days before it actually happened to freak people out.
Hahaha! Start my own religion, I'd go really far back and take the Lord of Rings books and convince people into thinking that they were real and that Sauron actually existed.
I'd go forward a hundred years. Far enough that some interesting stuff should have happened, close enough that English should still be intelligible. ^_^
Soylent Green
IT'S PEOPLE
I would go back to about a week ago and unleash measles on an unsuspecting California. Mwahahaha!!!
Edit: Or go back to prehistoric times (like in that Simpsons Halloween episode) and start stomping on everything in sight.
"What's a donut?" "Nooooooooo!!!!"
The funny thing is right after he ran back into the time machine, it started raining donuts outside in that world.
Excellent.
Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
1. Bring a SSBN. Typhoon class or Ohio class both works.
2. Load it with missiles, torpedoes, food, parts, etc
3. Travel to 1939 and nuke the Nazis and Japan
4. Become the hero that stopped WW2.
5. Conquer the wasteland!!
I'd go to the time Jesus was born so I could kill him and his mother.
EDIT: Scratch that, I wouldn't kill Jesus, just his mother.
Then I'd see Julius Caesar in action.
Then I'd go to Japan and prevent Nobunaga Oda from dying.
Finally, I'd go back to the time of Alexander the Great and save him if I could.
Any particular reason why you would go back in time to kill Jesus?
Presumably he's trying to stop Christianity from becoming a wide spread religion.
EDIT: The thing is, he'd have to go back in time to kill Abraham, Issac and Jacob, the founders of Judaism, if he really wanted to eliminate the seeds of Christianity though. Not sure if Islam would rise without Judaism and Christianity in place, but he could go pop in and kill Muhammed as well just to be sure. Of course in doing so, now we have the great Hindu Crusades of 1279-1458, the Odinist Inquisition of 1534-1607 and the Evil Buddhist Trials of 1666!
And he STILL wouldn't be able to stop Scientology. Xenu rises!
Mind you, he's probably just trying to piss as many people off...
Because we don't get enough of that from # @coins
I remember reading a short description of a world called "Nergal" where the Assyrian Empire were a lot more successful and completely wiped out the Hebrews and Phoenicians and later on the Greeks before they finally collapsed. However as a result of this Assyrian supremacy, the world in general is even more brutal and savage. A lot of other would be empires tend to base themselves on the Assyrians and practice slavery and human sacrifice on a wide scale. To top things off another Ice Age threatens to destroy everyone.
Searched "Nergal" and found a Polish musician and this one Jew story about this deity whose emblem was a cock.
Found it, though I think I first read about it on some RPG forum. Meh, whatever.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GURPS_Infinite_Worlds
Some of the other parallel world descriptions are sort of interesting too.
Not at all, if I could go back in time I would take that chance to kill Jesus and his mother.
Good luck, hahah.
I'm curious to what your method would be?
I'd use a AR-15 rifle. Let the Christians use a gun for their symbol instead of a fucking cross. At least we KNOW they are violent now.
An AR-15 would like nice next to my dog tags.
I'm sure you would.
So you're just killing Jesus and his mom for the shits and giggles?
EDIT: Nevermind, I didn't realize your post was responding to Malk's.
I won't lie, part of it is just because I'd have fun doing it. But I could also take down an entire religion and make the locals worship ME instead. Now the whole world is fucked.
Damn, it seems that Christianity is a better alternative than the other religions. Plus, I actually like Abraham.
What do you mean by better Alternative?
I'd prefer Christianity over Islam. Unless I successfully kill Mohammad as well.
EDIT: I however have very minimal knowledge of Islam besides the obvious portrayals from the media. I know that between the two, Muslims seem to be more violent then Christians. Of course you probably never hear much about Christians doing anything like the Muslims do probably because of a media bias.
I just realized that finding Mohammad will be a big issue since I haven't seen any pictures of him that aren't doodles.
Well you're Greek right?
Go back in time and try to make sure the Greek pantheon of gods becomes wide spread and stays that way.
This of course means multiple Ares Crusades.
I can't stop the Greek pantheon from becoming myth. Humanity will progress to the point that they can see Mount Olympus and realize the gods aren't really there, and I'm not going to bullshit them and say they actually live in space somewhere.
"I'm not going to bullshit them and say they actually live in space somewhere."
Well glad to hear you wouldn't be ripping off ideas from Star Trek. Lol.
I've never watched Star Trek. :P
Probably also Jesus, lol. He wasn't whitey mcwhiteperson as the pictures make him out to be. XD
So Danaos is basically going to have to nuke the entire middle east region.
Yea. Nuke the middle east, I'm down with that.
Typical.
I'm being facetious.
Won't I just have to find the guy that is pissing of the Romans and is being followed around by twelve guys? I figure that it would be easy to find someone with that much heat on him.
Or as dark as the black churches make him out to be. I expect him to have a nice middle-eastern tan. Before I kill him, I'll request he do a magic trick. I'll bring a sickly man and ask Jesus to heal him. Afterwards, I will shoot him dead...unless Jesus actually manages to heal him with his touch.
But either way you're killing Jesus, right?
If he turns out to actually be the son of God and a magic man, then probably not since it is pointless. I will at that point kill any and all of his followers that I can find.
EDIT: Screw it, yeah I'd probably kill him due to me being pissed off about being wrong. THEN I'd kill his followers.
It would probably be easier to kill God's 'baby mamma' rather than wait for her magic son to grow up and to start gathering support.
Was Virgin Mary still alive when Jesus was on the rise? If so, then I'd rather kill them both. If not, I'll settle for just her. In fact, I'm going to invade Mary's village (wherever she lived) with Greek mercenaries. We'll turn her into our personal toy, and send her back to her home a filthy mess. Then, Jesus will have descended from Zeus! Not God!
There you go, the Greek pantheon is saved. Then I can make a bullshit story about why Olympus is no longer there.
It might take a little more effort, but you could go the more humane route and try to have Jesus raised by a childless Roman family of some status. See how that plays out. Maybe he still becomes a prophet/messiah, but for Jupiter instead.
The most passive hero ever.
Go back to primitive times, and draw the "Dickbutt" guy in a cave. Fast-forward until modern archeology period and wait for people to discover it.
I'd go to when Hitler was born and slaughter him so the Holocaust would never happen and I wouldn't have to read?? The Diary of Anne Frank??? in English class.
1. That's a good book.
2. If Hitler never lived, there would probably be more problems now. I'd prefer he stay alive.
I agree its a good book, but there are so many versions of it and we have to read them ALL.
This reminds me of the butterfly effect, (first movie, didn't see any others). How one thing trips up and sets off a whole completely different future.
Would the future be different if I went back in time and gave a caveman a gun?
He'd prob kill some people once he figure out how it worked but then he'd run out of bullets. It'd be rusty and useless within a week.
So, what you're saying is, it wouldn't alter the future?
Probably not, the cavemen would have no way of maintaining and reusing the firearm. As stated, it would become useless at that point and fall apart. Especially a gun from our age, we took centuries to get this far in gun warfare.
Does that mean I can do it? :D
Go for it, at worst you're going to be the cause of a couple dozen (depending on the gun) deaths.
And some very confused archeologists that find the fossils.
I'd figure that he'd be more afraid of the gun.
Give a caveman a dildo, wait for archeologists to find it, let the hilarity ensue.
This whole topic has me thinking of an article I read regarding super powers that would not be as awesome as you think in real life. Let's say you could actually go back in time. Would time go at the same rate when you got back? For instance, would 10 days in Ancient Rome age you 10 days when you came back to this century? Plus, I think you could become addicted to it. Like, you would always be going back in time to fix a mistake you made.
I'd probably go back in time to when Michael Bay was born so I can smother him in his crib so we won't have to watch his shitty movies.
