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Valentine's?

3 days ago
Did you guys like...have a nice dinner with a significant other or whatever it is people do for Valentine's? Did you buy or receive flowers? Did you lose your vir....hahaha why am I even asking that here. Anyway I made you all this card. And I did NOT steal the idea of making a card from Tim, I want to make that clear. I would never do such a thing. I slaved over it for hours. Grew the flower myself from a seed. It's true.

Valentine's?

3 days ago
ok boomer

Valentine's?

3 days ago

Valentine's?

3 days ago
In all seriousness Happy Valentine's Day to my bestest bro @Tim36D, who is the coolest dude ever and the best friend anyone can ask for. Here is a brose for him:

Valentine's?

3 days ago
Anybody remember the time Ebon got a rose from another guy in highschool, and then freaked out and took it home and burned it?

No?

Uh....anybody remember Ebon?

Oh.

....don't mind me, I have Alzheimer's.

Valentine's?

3 days ago
I 'member. I was actually writing a story inspired by it and found it very strange that I could so easily write a gay romance. So, like Ebon burned that rose, I burned the story and never spoke of it again.

Valentine's?

3 days ago
Just imagine the reality where instead of WtMO, you wrote a 40k storygame about Ebon in a gay romance.

Valentine's?

3 days ago
Ew.

Valentine's?

3 days ago

Lol yeah I remember that story.

I think Malk told Ebon that he must be deeply in the closet for doing that.

Then Malk sucked some random AZN dude's dick.

Valentine's?

3 days ago

I fell in love today! I bought myself this hat! Just look at it! It's so pretty and shaped like a heart and I'm so excited!

Valentine's?

3 days ago

Cricket would like that hat 

Image result for luffy crying

Valentine's?

3 days ago

Wait. You're the Hatter's daughter! Why are you buying hats? Is there trouble in the family business?

Valentine's?

3 days ago

Even China has to import rice from other countries.

Valentine's?

3 days ago

Are you calling me cheap and an exploiter of unpaid labor? Because I assure you my hats are not cheap! ;~(

Valentine's?

2 days ago

Of course not! I'm just saying that even though China has a lot of rice, and was oft famed for its rice-producing industry in days past, sometimes you just need more of it.

Valentine's?

2 days ago
And of course there are other things China has in common with mad hatters, such as mercury poisoning.

Valentine's?

2 days ago
Commended by mizal on 2/15/2020 10:11:22 PM

Well, seeing as the day has passed, I can now reveal what I had done the entire day of Valentine's Day. And before you get to ask, no, it was not a person. But it did start with a very important person: Cricket.

You see, while I was writing my token "We <3 U Cricket" message that all friends of Cricket's should do in this rough time, I remembered "Hey, today is Valentine's Day. Maybe I should make her a card." So I did. Thanks to MHD's pretty templates from the Hatter's Sketchbook thread, I made Cricket a nice small valentine's day card (and a subsequent card that said "no homo" just to clarify) and finished off my message.

This gave me an idea, and for the next couple of hours or so, I took some notes on every CYS member that was my friend and proceeded to create a few more cards for them all. It took me a while to understand some of the mechanics of GIMP (The poor man's Photoshop), and I could not get to every friend in the end, but I sure as HECK tried my hardest. At the end of it all, I made 21 cards (If you include Cricket's 2). I will now proceed to list them:

First of all, I created one for Chris. He is my best friend and I made a card to sum up our entire relationship:

He didn't immediately see it due to internet issues, but later he did indeed get to and voiced his appreciation.

Next was MHD. I had to immediately thank her, for without her template, these cards would look much more horrible that they already were.

Not even 5 minutes later, she sent a reply card.

Being that it took me a while to think of the perfect nice thing to say and at least 10 to 15 minutes to make my own card, It makes me sort of wish I had one of those artist stylus and tablet things while making these and not a touchpad. MHD has clearly superior artistry skills (Which you can see by going to the thread mentioned above, or her profile page and clicking the link in there) that clearly show the gap in power. In the words of mizal, "Nerf MHD, she's OP".

Speaking of mizal, she was the next one on the list. I thought for a while about what I could say to a person like her, who has not only done some cool stuff but has also been a cool person. So I made this:

It is truly some of my finest work, worthy of being put onto a fridge.

Next up was End, because while I'm up here, might as well start from the top and work my way down. While I was thinking of something to write, I remembered what his stories meant to me: and that I was DEFINITELY under the maturity rating when I first read them.

I received a "lol" so I think I did good.

And while I was on End's trail, I went after his only daughter. The cards and research were starting to take a toll on me, resulting in me forgetting to do the comic sans "To: Thara From: Tim".

This is a good time to point out that, being the only End Daughter left standing, Thara is pretty much free to crusade in whatever she wishes under End's name to no ill effect, unless another daughter were to come back to balance things (coughMAYAcough). This is also a good time to point out that using Comic Sans is nothing to apologize for, and in fact the lack of it is.

Now that the friends who happened to be in high places were out of the way, I moved on to the common friends. Sent is probably oe of my longer friends, because we've gone on multiple adventures together, like looking for secret graveyards full of treasure or competing for president. But recently, this heckin peguinite has become my rival in martial arts. So in his card I issued a friendly challenge.

Upon receiving this, Sent had to ask me what "Rust" was. It's clear that his fighting style has affected his sense of culture and that the Dionysus style is superior in all aspects.

Next was Corgi. And what can I say to such a good site member who has provided such a sense of cheer and merriment?

And a good boi he is.

I am now just realizing the sheer MASS this post will carry if I continue in this fashion, so instead I'm just gonna post some more of my favorites and not create a post that will take hours to finish. Here are the highlights:

This, of course, aren't ALL the cards, but I'm starting to get kinda tired. But, finally, for all of you who did not get a special card, do not worry: I planned for this in advance.

And there we go. Click on the images to get full sized pictures. And before you say "ah yes thank you tim you're so cool", I instead would like you to offer your thanks to both MHD for creating the template (that I am almost positive that I am the only one that used), but also to Cricket for inspiring the idea. We hope you come back to CYS soon.

But this is now where I end the post. I'm probably gonna go sleep or eat pizza or something. In hindsight, probably should've added alt-text so that people like Maya could read the cards too but I am just beat. I apologize.

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day.

Valentine's?

2 days ago
This was so wholesome. Except...and I didn't want to say anything at the time...but there was a minor error with the capitalization of my M. It's fine though, it's the thought that counts.

Mayana has wandered off and gotten lost in a field somewhere so I wouldn't worry about that, nice thought but that would be a ton of work she'll probably never hear the robot say.

I enjoyed getting to see all the rest of the cards though. It's really cool you took the time to do so many, not something I'd been expecting at all but and I don't think anyone else here would think of that and then spend their time actually doing and personalising them just to give everybody a smile.

Valentine's?

2 days ago
Ford's got the biggest laugh, and Canary's and Meg's are great but also incomprehensible to anyone who wasn't there, like all the best in jokes.

Tri's was too true.

Valentine's?

2 days ago

You’re so sweet!!

But what’s funny is that like ten minutes before you sent me my card I actually texted my friend, “No one made their own Valentine’s cards with my templates. I’m pissed!” ;~P

Valentine's?

2 days ago

Well, I am glad that my cards have replaced your seething anger with joy.

Thanks for drawing cool stuff.

Sabley's Horrendous Valentine's Day/Weekend

yesterday
Commended by mizal on 2/17/2020 9:42:27 AM
By popular demand, I've come to post a formal write up of my Valentines weekend. It's a tale of love, memory problems, vomit, screws, ladder theft, and attempted murder(no really, there was attempted murder). So, Valentines Day itself started off great. I took a half day off work since it was Valentines and because I had an ultrasound appointment and my husband was going with me. We went to that, saw our baby and it was great. Then we snagged some lunch and I went into work. We ended up closing early, I thought that was perfect. Now I'll actually be able to do the fancy Valentines dinner I had planned to do saturday since I'm off work early. Nope, I called my husband to tell him the good news. But, he's already half way to North Carolina to go get a tires. Tires that are probably stolen, because why else would someone sell a $1000 set of tires for $200? But, hey! That's ok, I told myself I'd just go back to the original plan of Valentines Day on Saturday instead. No big deal. My husband gets home and tells me that he is now going rabbit hunting with his dad tomorrow. No big deal I tell myself again, he'll be home in time for dinner. We can still Netflix and chill, it'll be fine. And hell, I haven't had a day with the house all to myself in over a month. And sure enough, it was great. I was lazy most of the day besides general house cleaning and chicken related chores. I binged the entire new season of Sabrina. But, that was the end of my good day. My husband got home right when I was starting to work on my fancy dinner. I had a 6lb leg of lamb and a fucking Gordon Ramsay recipe. It was going to be glorious. I slaved over it for two hours. Everything smelled wonderful, I was so excited. I posted a picture of the roast in the discord. Then suddenly, I hear a knock at the door. It's my father in law and my husband's Mamaw. My husband forgot this was our Valentines dinner and invited them then forgot to tell me. Flustered, I invite them in and pretend this was all part of the plan. I forget to check the temp on the roast, I just take it out and let it rest while I make extra salads and bemoan the fact that I won't have leftover sweet potatoes after all. Mamaw wants to help, but I send her to the living room. She's like the family matriarch and does Sunday dinner and is literally community famous for her food and general wholesomeness. I love her dearly, but this is my kitchen... It's my domain... And I'll be damned if anybody else gets credit for any of this food. Only, that backfired. I start cutting up the roasted leg of lamb and it's fucking raw. So I cried for a solid minute as I kept cutting it up and put it back in the oven and prayed it didn't get dry. I finished up the gravy made from the drippings, made some cheesy garlic toast, made a formal fucking table setting because my granny taught me Southern Manners god dammit. Finally the roast gets done, it tastes great. We all sit around and chat. They leave at 9:00PM. My husband has gorged on lamb and forgot that I got us strawberries and hershey's fudge. He ate one and was full and went and fell asleep on the couch. I ate them by myself. Fun fact, it's way cheaper to just get the fudge and containers of freshs strawberries to DIY than it is to buy them predone. Less pretty, but just as good and cheaper. So I give up on romance and go to bed. Only to be awakened at 2AM by the sound of my husband puking his guts out. Now he wasn't sick sick, he has really bad acid reflux and eating too much too late in the evening does this to him. Doesn't stop him from eating too much anyway, but at least he wasn't contagious. I decide to be a good wife and be supportive. He held my hair through four months of constant morning sickness, I can go rub his back, right? Wrong, so fucking wrong. I hit a wall of sick half way into the bathroom and almost puked myself. I kept trucking on, holding my nose and trying to help. I rubbed his back for a second then gagged and had to run out. This went on in loop for about an hour. Sunday morning, we both felt better. I made him take me to Ihop to make up for the inlaws crashing our Valentines Date Night at his request. Breakfast was great, I had a french toast combo and swiss mocha coffee. Then we went to Lowes because I needed some seed starting trays to start my veggies indoors before planting season hits. I find what I need in about ten minutes and then it happens. My husband remembers that we need angled gutter spouts and the little tray things that go under them to protect your foundation from erosion. Ok, we can do that. No big deal. Two hours later, I'm still in Lowes staring at gutter spouts as my husband realizes the ones he needs are on the top shelf. I stop paying attention to him for a few minutes and watch an old lady climb a shelf further down the aisle and knock off a patio door kit. It busted on the floor. When a worker came by, she lectured him about not helping her fast enough and somehow got out of paying for the damaged goods. I turn back around and my husband has a 10FT drain pipe and is trying to work the box of spouts off the top shelf. I make him stop and accept the fact that I'm probably going to be that parent with their kid on a leash because he's probably going to take after his dad and be a hellion. So next, my husband runs off to find someone to help. They end up never coming, so he instead decides to steal the roller ladder. At this point I've hit fuck it and encourage this. He gets the box, we get caught by a worker who lectures us as we hurry away, and I think that's it, I'm free. Only no, he now needs screws. We then go to the screw aisle and he can't find the ones he wants. After about thirty minutes of screwing around with the screws in the screw section, we finally find the right ones and get the hell out of dodge. We go home and on the way up the driveway decide to stop and check on my chickens. I've been suspecting one of my hens is about to go broody so we were checking to see if she was laying on eggs. My husband was the last one to leave out the coop door(this is important for later) and we then went back up to the house. I got my niece's birthday present ready and we hauled ass to her party and actually made it on time somehow. The party was good, no complaints there. We then swung by my parent's house after since my mom had called and told me she'd made raspberry cake and wanted to give us some. We got our cake and headed home. But, when we got there something was not right. There were more chickens running loose than there should be. I normally only have four roosters loose, my lawn ornaments as I call them. But, there were 18 chickens scratching around the pasture. We'd had a goddam jailbreak! So we get out of the car and nearly get run over by my rooster Elvis getting chased by the Lawn Ornaments. Shit got straight up Game of Thrones in this bitch. The other roosters were not only beating Elvis up, but there was rape going on. I didn't even know roosters raped each other. But, they do... they do. For a solid year, Elvis has been in the coop with the hens. He's a gentleman and respects consent so the hens stay relaxed and happy and lay lots of eggs. But, he likes to flaunt his Hugh Hefner status in front of the Lawn Ornaments through the wire of the coop and I guess they've been holding a grudge all this time. My husband goes after them. He chases this pack of rooster rape and beat downs all up and down the pasture. I won't lie, it was hilarious and I did laugh. Meanwhile, I rounded up my hens who for the most part were pretty polite about going back in the coop since I put food in there. I just had to slowly herd them in the right direction. Finally my husband comes tearing back down the pasture after the roosters, Elvis is in the lead followed by the Lawn Ornaments who are still pecking him, trying to mount him, and generally kicking his ass. They run him into a tree that has a bunch of trunks(No idea what that is actually called, but yeah it was a cluster of trunks). Elvis gets knocked into the tree and pinned between the trunks. He is simultaneosly getting butt fucked, pecked, and flogged by the other four roosters. Then my husband comes barreling in with the rage of hades and sends the other roosters flying, grabs Elvis and makes a beeline for me and the coop. The Lawn Ornaments start coming after him to get to Elvis so he uses Elvis as a bat to knock them away from him. Poor Elvis is literally being swung by his feet and used as a club to swat away the other roosters as my husband makes a run for it. He makes it inside with Elvis and I send the Lawn Ornament away with a good scolding and threats of making chicken stock out of them. Elvis has no feathers left on his butt, which has been pecked raw among other things, or his legs, and some of his neck feathers have been yanked out. But he's alive. So we go back up to the house and sit our asses on the couch. Our plans of putting together my shelf with grow lights for my tomatoes are out the window. It can be done tomorrow. So instead we just sit on the couch together, discussing how brutal chicken society is and how much Valentines has sucked this year. I guess at some point my husband felt bad about the lack of romance so he buttered me up with some love songs. He's tone deaf as hell, but how can I not appreciate that? So we ended up dancing a bit in the living room then going to bed and sleeping like the dead. And now I'm here, sharing my Valentines horror story with you all. You're welcome.

Sabley's Horrendous Valentine's Day/Weekend

yesterday

Lol.

Sabley's Horrendous Valentine's Day/Weekend

yesterday
The curse of being a good/approachable writer is that your suffering is ALWAYS hilarious.

Sabley's Horrendous Valentine's Day/Weekend

yesterday
I should probably do a write up about the skid steer turning into Satan's boiling asshole one of these days too. But so far the right thread has not presented itself lol.

Sabley's Horrendous Valentine's Day/Weekend

yesterday
Sabley's husband belongs in a 90s sitcom. The rooster section raised the maturity level so much though. I vote for executing the rape gang so this doesn't happen again.

Sabley's Horrendous Valentine's Day/Weekend

yesterday
Yeah, I think I'm going to butcher all four of them and make soup out of them if I can. Then use what's left on the carcasses for stock that I can can. I'm just going to wait until I have a free weekend to do it, because that's a lot of work and I already have plans for this coming weekend. Up until now they've just been these fat, goofy roosters that follow me around and act cute. Now they're brutal gang rapists and would be murderers. I just can't look at them the same way anymore.

Sabley's Horrendous Valentine's Day/Weekend

yesterday

They must have been scoping out their next victim.

Sabley's Horrendous Valentine's Day/Weekend

22 hours ago

I'm dying

This was gold

Hope next year is better lmao

Sabley's Horrendous Valentine's Day/Weekend

20 hours ago
lol