The Cliche Adventures of a Generic Hero

Player Rating5.71/8

"#126 overall, #15 for 2015"
based on 126 ratings since 02/15/2015
played 1,801 times (finished 180)

Story Difficulty5/8

"run through the jungle"

Play Length6/8

"It'll be a while, better grab a Snickers®"

Maturity Level7/8

"anything goes"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 18. If this were a movie, it would probably be R.

Generic Warning - For immature  mature audiences only.

 

Author's Note

I fired the ridiculous cannon up for this one and took it up to eleven.

This project has lingered untouched in my trunk for nearly a year now. Originally intended to be a short work, it grew big and fat in my notes, and was then later locked away and ignored. Life happens. Anyway, I pulled it from the graveyard and decided to patchwork the dangling ends together. 

 

Play through the heroic or not so heroic adventures of a Cliché knight hero! There are a series of three endings for the knight that I considered canon when I first drafted the story. These unlock the first pages of what were intended to be the other hero paths of wizard, prince and spunky girl (along with some bonus troll material). If enough people enjoy the knight's story, I'd be open to reinvesting in the project and adding one or all of them on as an expansion. Each would play as its own separate story, so don't worry, there is a full and complete story in here.

 

The work, however, is raw - often intentionally so. And while the 'canon' endings unlock the bonus material, there really is no winning and losing. You just do better or worse.

 

That said, this is a fragment of the monster that lies in my notes, coming in at a little over 22k words. I feel comfortable saying there are a few chuckles in here, so I think if it brightens one person's day then it was worth publishing.

 

All comments, both mean and kind, are appreciated. Enjoy.

Player Comments

- "The wintry winds howl a horrible wail, whipping white watery snow against the weathered watchtower’s westernmost wall." Boom! What a first sentence. The reader could choose not to read the description and instantly guess the kind of story you're going for here. I absolutely love a good mish mash of fantasy and humour, and this just grabs cliche tropes by the fistful, picks up a big ol' literary baseball bat, and smashes words into something really entertaining. Brilliant.

-"B. E. A. Utiful." Bruce Almighty fan by any chance? ERODING!!

- The humour is pretty spot on and comes in a load of different forms. There's witty dialogue, description, word play, narrator interaction, and that all adds to the surreal pseudo-fantasy setting.

- One of the very few mistakes I found was: " You lash you with your legs, catching Jon in the chest." This story has clearly had lots of time and effort put into it, and is practically flawless in terms of grammar and spelling. That's an impressive feat for a story over 28K words. Most of the stories here are a fraction of the size and still have a plethora of mistakes. It's more of an achievement than anything to have so few mistakes, and that lends itself to reading well.

- Despite the size, I felt the endings were a little abrupt. The whole thing could have gone on for a bit longer, but I think that's mainly because there's so much branching and I wanted it to keep going, so it's not really an issue. Besides, it's not a serious story, so it doesn't need to let the reader down slowly. I would really like to see the other character arcs at the start of the story and think that would give this story loads of replay value.

- The characters were great and the dialogue was snappy and kept well to the flow, even in the action scenes (not always an easy thing to do).

Yeah, I just really enjoyed this and look forward to reading more of your stuff. A very solid 6/8.
-- AzBaz on 7/31/2017 10:23:11 AM with a score of 0
This should be required reading for anyone who wants to make a fantasy cyoa. I do not want to oversell this but it was hillarious. A genre lampoon that could only come from a true fan, fully self aware and reveling in tropes and tired convention. From the very first and repeated "DODGE" to the subtle and not so subtle nods at hostility towards women, objectification, and sexual wish fulfillment that you can find in most genre works- a pointed and uproarious look through both an objective lens and an insiders observations. I wish I could give it more than an 8. In fact, I'm pretty sure all it's flaws (if any) are intentional, and the beauty is any that are not would be completely wrapped in the premise and only make this better. It's certainly not an attempt at veiled jest. If you were already aware of these genre faults you will find this a spot on parody, and if you weren't pay attention and soon you won't be able to read stories the same way. This story comes crashing through the fourth wall taking the entire fantasy form, cyoa in general, and the reader with it; never stopping to apologize and never needing to.
-- kyo787 on 4/11/2017 7:19:11 PM with a score of 0
Fun story! I played all the paths, and you nail the comic tone. I think it would have been funnier without breaking the fourth wall in a few places, though, particularly the overt references to other media. But it's engaging and written in a technically solid, immersive style, so nice work!
-- Axiom on 6/5/2016 4:02:22 PM with a score of 0
I fucking dodged the dodge that's some insane meta shit right there

Good job on the hilarious story HAHAHAHA loved every part of it
-- jyong on 10/12/2017 7:31:42 AM with a score of 0
Now THIS is REAL fantasy...

Never more had I been impressed by a parody of the all-too-common soldier-clad-in-thick-chrome with a princess story.

One thing that bothers me though, Bucky. You said the bandit leader was the only black guy, but what about the ebony princess? Surely ebony is synonymous with black as well!

Inconsistency aside, this story shows just how talented the mind behind the writing is. Moral lesson: Keep ideas stashed away until they pop up, groinkick you to inspirational levels of testosterone and guide you in composing a commendation-worthy storygame.

And that is exactly what this is. Colorful detailed characters meshed with dialogue and situations that show REAL fantasy is a far cry from DOCTORED fantasy.

Absolutely grand work. May cents shower on thy head. 6/8.
-- AgentX on 4/17/2017 8:48:42 AM with a score of 0
Ha! This is brilliant! A wonderful parody of of the fantasy genre, and the content is, shall I say, far fuller than it first appears. Will be playing again tomorrow, this time with a different path.

8/8

Simply awesome.
-- Battlemage on 4/12/2017 1:45:51 PM with a score of 0
It was quite good, I ended up naming the servant Lady Fair, and it worked out quite well for me :D
-- Chickdove on 4/5/2017 10:15:24 PM with a score of 0
Dark elves for life!!!
-- Slaver on 1/16/2017 1:11:36 AM with a score of 2
That has to be the best read I've had in a long time. I've followed all the endings I could find, even laughed aloud a couple of times and enjoyed the whole experience. Great stuff!
-- HM000 on 1/4/2017 7:43:00 PM with a score of 0
Can't believe I only just now got around to reading this. Funny stuff. I need to go back and pick some other choices.
-- EndMaster on 11/23/2016 10:04:59 PM with a score of 2
Show All Comments