Player Comments on The Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost
Wonderful!! From characters to setting to pacing, it all blends together into this little gem!
Characters felt fully fleshed out, each with their own little quirks that lent to personifying them without feeling tacked on padding. Though, one thing of note, I felt Andreas' fellow gladiators needed a little more polish to bring them up to the same level as Alexius and Lula but I'm going to chock that up to more 'screen time' and that you maybe planning for develop them further in the next installment. So, to put it simply, characters are full and robust with just a little polish away from perfection.
Settings were varied and had a sense of identity which I love in stories. My litmus test for this is simply 'Can I switch locations and have, basically, the same scene without major changes?' With how you wrote and sequenced actions events made scenes feel different and defiant which greatly enhanced the believability and, consequently, my investment. That being said, settings got high marks from me.
Pacing was handled well enough. I wish I could have more time with the other gladiators to earn more of a rapport with them but maybe that's just me wanting to spend more time with them so I'm not going to hold that against you. :P So, you did well with pacing.
No major issues with paragraphs or sentence structure to be seen and I didn't notice any major spelling errors but I noticed near the end Lula started acting OOC a little bit (sentiences being too long and using too big words for someone who picked up Latin from overhearing sailors and fellow captives). This was not too big of a slip but it kind of took me out of it for a moment. Besides that, It's a very well written story.
Overall, I give this first part a full 8 in spite of the slight bumps due to how well the rest of it was.
I highly recommend this to everyone and I wish Briar_Rose and Andreas the best in their future endeavors, which I will be watching with much interest.
on 9/13/2017 8:40:36 AM with a score of 0
There is certainly a lot that can be improved on in the story. If you tried to describe things in more detail, give everything a richer image, that'd pull me and other readers into the atmosphere of the story much better. Also, you could make the fights and such more challenging and engaging if you could decide what your character does in a fight, a bit like what you did with Andreas's first fight with Septimus, except with more choices, so there's room for failure. This would provide tension that both the reader and the character would feel, and success would feel much more rewarding as well.
The only characters that felt real to me were Lula, Brasus, Alexius and Zeru. Lula because of the unique way she speaks, Zeru because he seldom speaks at all, and I can respect him as a person. Brasus, I can relate to him a lot, and I sense the most potential for character development in him, along with Alexius. Now, Caecilia and Septimus. They feel less like people but more like story devices. Septimus's personality is that he's an arrogant, sociopathic prick. The Joffrey Lannister and the Dudley Dursley of the story. Caecilia is the soon-to-be love interest, who's the literal embodiment of childish innocence and empathy. Now, I'm not saying these things are a problem. In fact, having two characters that aren't really people, but more like embodiments of opposite values fits very well into a story like this. If you think about it, it gives it an old-timey, Greek epos feel.
The one and only character that I had an issue with is Rhonde. She made it clear when we first met her that she'll be almost cruelly strict, and if we hate her so much we'll want to kill her, then her method is working. However, during the story, she didn't hold to her promises, at all. I felt like it would've been a lot better if she was as rough and strict with Andreas as she could, because she sees potential in him. She'd try to push him to his absolute limits, to help him achieve that potential. That's what I think would've made her better as a character.
Another thing, the pacing of the story. A bit of prologue before the 'deal' would've been great, so we'd know more about Andreas's home, his friends and what it was like living there, so we'd actually feel sorry when he was taken away. And during his time at the academy, there was pretty much no indication to how much time he actually spent there, until Rhonde mentioned that Lula was only there at the academy for a few months now. Also, I doubt 'minutes' and such existed in that time. Just pointing that out.
But other than that, I enjoyed playing through this one. There's a lot of room for improvement, so I hope you'll read this and try to better your writing. Cheers!
on 9/7/2017 3:12:39 PM with a score of 0
I thought this story was really good and well thought out. I had a lot of fun replaying it, trying to get the ending I wanted. It even distracted me from TWD! The only critique I have is extremely minor in that I wish that, for believability, that more of Lula's dialogue was more choppy and used simpler words if she learned it from other slaves, as is my guess, or even still if she learned it in Ethiopia. Becuause some of the words she remembers would are more complex than the ones she does not. But again, this is still a very minor critique. For something I'd like added, it would have to be maybe some more dialogue options that could better define Andreas's personality and to justify himself more such as when Andreas kills the bleeding out boy, I wish I could've explained to Alexius and Brasus, and even Gerda why I had done it. Also, PLEASE FOR ALL THAT IS RAINBOW add a gay romance option. I know that could be hard to do if you yourself haven't been in a gay relationship, and maybe don't know how, so if you feel uncomfortable with that or don't think you can do it justice, that's fine. I understand, I just feel at this point Ceacilla has been written as Andreas love interest, so I'd just like alternatives, even if that is only just turning her down. Sorry for the long comment, but I when I like something I talk a lot about it, so, yeah. I'll be looking forward to the next part of this amazing story that was so well written I jumped right into it. Thanks. I hope you keep up the good work!
-- Meta on 3/27/2016 10:24:46 PM with a score of 0
Fantastic, dramatic and full of action. Three words describing this game book. I think that Lula would be a great friend and a great warrior if she was real.
-- Dj Senter on 9/23/2017 2:18:39 PM with a score of 0
HURRY UP WITH THE NEXT ONE
on 9/21/2017 5:56:21 AM with a score of 0
I really liked the story and hope in the next part endrea and caccilia(sorry if i spelled name wrong)get together becausei really like her she seems very nice and good.but very good job????!
-- Hidden girl on 9/19/2017 5:43:00 PM with a score of 0
IT'S AMAZING! The only actually GOOD storygame in this website (in my opinion). When will it update ;3
on 9/16/2017 10:39:01 AM with a score of 0
on 9/15/2017 11:59:29 AM with a score of 0
Awesome story!! Can't wait for it to be updated ;D
on 9/13/2017 3:43:36 PM with a score of 0
This was better than Eternal, it should be second place! The only reason it isn't as great as Dead Man Walking is because it's unfinished. Otherwise, both the stories are drop dead perfect. Thank you for being such a great writer!
on 9/10/2017 4:11:35 PM with a score of 0
I really liked the story. It was very well written, and very interesting.
-- Link's Friend on 8/29/2017 4:15:53 AM with a score of 0
The internal struggle of saving yourself physically, emotionally, morally, or the sacrifice of looking out for others in a world you don't want to be in.
10/10. Wished there was a part two at the end :D
-- Casual Otaku23 on 8/25/2017 2:46:25 PM with a score of 0
This story was really amazing! I could see character development in almost everyone, the world was well built, and I can't wait for a sequel.
on 8/25/2017 10:54:13 AM with a score of 0
I'm new to this but I absolutely loved this one. So very well written it was amazing!
on 8/23/2017 6:05:11 PM with a score of 0
-- storm on 8/19/2017 9:52:18 PM with a score of 0
one million thumbs up
on 8/19/2017 1:45:28 PM with a score of 0
Great Story. I couldn't stop reading until I was finished
on 8/18/2017 6:07:50 AM with a score of 0
Omg this is amazing I love the story and all of it's outcomes, great job I hope you keep up the good work and update soon!????
-- Erisol on 8/17/2017 11:01:14 PM with a score of 0
Great work. Keep at it. Cant wait to plau more.
-- Jack on 8/16/2017 11:58:33 AM with a score of 0
One of the best scenarios I've played on this site! It has an excellent storyline and is really good
on 8/14/2017 9:27:24 AM with a score of 0
This was amazing! I became very emotionally attached to the characters, almost down to crying when deciding who would live! Good Job!
on 8/11/2017 6:34:01 PM with a score of 0
To put it simply this story is very well written with only a few unintentional grammatical errors that are easily overlooked due to how truly magnificent the story is.
on 8/11/2017 3:47:47 PM with a score of 0
-- denis on 8/8/2017 5:19:27 PM with a score of 0
on 8/7/2017 10:01:20 PM with a score of 0
Its was a wonderfully planned story, I just wish there were a few mire choices.
-- TheWhiteWolf on 8/5/2017 4:46:22 PM with a score of 0
Honestly, really well written. Left me speechless. Buuut, i'm too tired of waiting for part two, can't come soon enough!! :P
on 8/2/2017 2:33:09 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good, but very short.
on 7/29/2017 12:39:47 PM with a score of 0
please make a part 2
-- eli on 7/25/2017 9:18:17 PM with a score of 0
-- christopher on 7/24/2017 12:58:28 PM with a score of 0
Oh this was absolutely fantastic!
-- Ssighs on 7/20/2017 1:02:21 PM with a score of 0
Amazing story only wish it was longer... Well I guess you can't rush greatness :P
-- Nick on 7/15/2017 3:03:22 AM with a score of 0
This was great. Really addictive! Well written and mentally illustrated! I hope that others enjoyed this too!
-- Miss Know-It-All on 7/9/2017 11:18:14 AM with a score of 0
So I get to certain point in story and have two choices. Both end with me dying. So is story done? I don't get it.
-- Laura on 7/8/2017 2:53:45 AM with a score of 0
This was so freaking good! I seriously can't wait to read the next one.
-- Lex on 7/8/2017 12:30:05 AM with a score of 0
exciting. couldnt stop reading.
on 7/2/2017 7:30:21 PM with a score of 0
Too short need more
on 7/1/2017 2:13:06 AM with a score of 0
-- Legendary Phoenix on 6/28/2017 10:27:21 PM with a score of 0
-- Chaz Fleming on 6/24/2017 9:53:50 PM with a score of 0
Wow. I bet the next part will be even better.
-- Tommy on 6/24/2017 11:44:37 AM with a score of 0
on 6/22/2017 3:31:03 PM with a score of 0
I thought that this was a amazing interactive story!
on 6/22/2017 1:43:10 PM with a score of 0
It's one of the top five stories on the site, that kind of speaks for itself. I really enjoy historical fiction and this has a good mix of relateable characters, realism and action. I voted for it back when it was in the Spring Thing and it holds up well on a reread.
In loading up my active save here I got a reminder I'd managed to lock myself out of being fit enough for a win by volunteering to get whipped over the toy horse. I do like that not every noble action is necessarily the most practical one for success, it gives the choices more weight.
Anyway, great story, good job Briar you should be very proud. But mostly I'm just posting this now to call out the previous reviewer.
Hey, JasonX: are you even for real?
(Seriously, 'unfamiliar with the concept of slavery?' That's a hard one to swallow. If true, congrats on being astoundingly ignorant even by today's standards. You've somehow lived your entire life completely sheltered from history, avoided historical fiction in every medium in existence barring this one single CYOA you've read right here, and even managed to become a Christian without ever cracking open a Bible.)
Thankfully, you don't even have an account so I don't have to consider you a real person.
on 6/20/2017 11:34:39 AM with a score of 0
parts of it were hard to understand. I come from a Christian background so the concept of slavery and forcing children to kill is foreign to me, let alone, it being acceptable in ancient times. certain liberties were taken I assume. gladiators were men, not children and I highly doubt a master would allow a child to fight in the arena
-- JasonX on 6/19/2017 1:53:07 AM with a score of 0
thought it was put together good and had a good story line cant wait for the next part
on 6/14/2017 10:22:19 PM with a score of 0
Nice story really enjoy how yu showed the truth of the world. Not too positive but not too negative
on 6/14/2017 9:21:22 PM with a score of 0
this game is fun but could be longer
-- Tyle on 6/7/2017 2:07:19 PM with a score of 0
keep up your good work
on 6/5/2017 3:08:26 PM with a score of 0
It was amazing!
on 6/5/2017 5:54:30 AM with a score of 0
Lack a satisfactory ending
on 6/1/2017 5:27:12 PM with a score of 0
Great read, I want the next chapter!
-- Brady Shelton on 6/1/2017 1:11:26 PM with a score of 0
Amazing story. I only wish that the trilogy would be squished down into one story.
on 6/1/2017 12:43:10 AM with a score of 0
This was really awesome and hope for a squeal.
on 5/31/2017 1:50:59 AM with a score of 0
Awesome really great writing and characterization.
on 5/30/2017 3:44:18 PM with a score of 0
It's so good, I love this story I just wish I could finish it!
-- Opalla Richardson on 5/29/2017 2:55:47 AM with a score of 0
Great story! Kept my eyes glued to the screen! Will there be a second book?
on 5/26/2017 9:39:50 PM with a score of 0
This was really good! There were some spelling and grammar errors, but I enjoyed the characters and the story!
-- Becca on 5/25/2017 1:51:08 PM with a score of 0
on 5/25/2017 6:28:24 AM with a score of 0
This was a great read!!!
-- Chimere on 5/23/2017 6:15:10 PM with a score of 0
-- travis on 5/22/2017 5:56:38 PM with a score of 0
-- longshoot on 5/19/2017 12:54:13 AM with a score of 0
Pretty good can't wait for part 2
on 5/17/2017 2:19:36 PM with a score of 0
It was good, it kept me reading.
-- Gigi on 5/16/2017 6:16:54 PM with a score of 0
I love Ancient Greek and Roman stories; there were some historical inaccuracies but not enough to specifically mention. Perfect in almost every way.
on 5/13/2017 9:08:55 PM with a score of 0
Awh I loved this!
I think maybe learning the Roman Mythology would be a good start, the story was great but little things like the Apollo necklace broke the immersion, Apollo is the Greek god of the sun, Archery (and other Hikus.. GO PJO), so I didn't quite get why a roman child would have a necklace with a Greek god on it or why a greek child wouldn't recognise on of the 12 Olympians. other than that though I lobed it and cant wait for more
on 5/11/2017 10:02:09 AM with a score of 0
I like it alot!
on 5/7/2017 4:21:50 PM with a score of 0
Awesome! Hope that there'll be a sequel!! Give me a holler if you need help constructing another masterpiece like this one! I'd love to help.
-- Erick on 5/4/2017 1:37:42 PM with a score of 0
I'm looking forward to your next story ^^ email me when it's released.
-- Clent Jay Pingal on 5/3/2017 10:11:30 PM with a score of 0
can't wait for more
on 5/1/2017 8:32:02 PM with a score of 0
Brilliant! A true masterpiece. A few grammar and spelling errors here and there but all in all, it's perfection. The plot is touching and flawless. Bravo. You are a true master. I applaud you. What a great story.
-- Fiona on 5/1/2017 1:22:42 AM with a score of 0
Great storygame. Have a question though, can you save all of your teammates in the arena?
-- John on 4/27/2017 3:30:02 PM with a score of 0
Well, that was immpressive! I had a lot of fun playing it. The story have just one defect: it's deffinetly too short! I WANT TO SURVIVE WITH ANDREAS ALL LIFE LONG! Good Job!
-- Barochy on 4/25/2017 8:10:20 AM with a score of 0
I NEED MORE. This was awesome and I need this story to last.
on 4/24/2017 3:21:31 PM with a score of 0
i loved it it was amazing
-- harvey on 4/20/2017 12:04:20 PM with a score of 0
Engaging, and a fun read! I enjoyed this quite a bit. Thank you, author, for the adventure!
-- Dog on 4/19/2017 1:17:46 AM with a score of 0
Great story. Wish it was a lot longer. Great choices. Please continue to add to it. Awesome job!!!
on 4/12/2017 1:42:09 PM with a score of 0
Let me just say this: This. Story. Is. AMAZING! It's feels like I really took a journey to medival Rome, gone through pain and blood at the age of ten. TEN. The story seems so real and doesn't have a third person perspective. It feels like I really have been Andreas, and I'm a girl! The author sucks the reader in and won't let go. In a beginning of betrayal, interweaving plots, bloodshed and hardships. This story will definitely intergue the reader. One thing though... I really hope you make a part 2 with more plots, more deliemas, more epic. Perhaps you could add some forbidden love, rivals, and you can say that the Father has come back, and make an epic climax. For now, this is the best story I came across...I would never regret clicking on that link! I desperately hope you make a part 2, please don't leave me hanging!! Well, we'll see... But for now 8 out of 8 for you! A total masterpiece! Bravo to the author! Love you guys! Thank you for making my life so damn happy! Once more, yoare awesome! Good luck! I see more amazing stories in the future!!!
-- Clare on 4/6/2017 5:17:13 AM with a score of 0
I loved it, I reached the good ending so I suppose that made something but hey, it is definitely an amazing and really entertaining story.
on 4/5/2017 4:44:09 PM with a score of 0
Cool! I can't stop reading from the first time I started. Now I left my food overcooked. What a bargain!
on 4/4/2017 10:40:53 AM with a score of 0
I liked it but i want to know when i can romance lula
on 4/1/2017 2:21:22 PM with a score of 0
I thought this story was great And hope to play more later on also I enjoyed the realistic output of the situation and how you
-- Thero Fox on 3/31/2017 5:59:34 PM with a score of 0
Captivating. My heart raced with every decision.
-- Brandis Broomfield on 3/31/2017 3:22:46 PM with a score of 0
This storygame is pretty phenomenal. It kept me interested to the bitter end, and I am so eager for more it's killing me. The only problem I have with this story is that it should be longer, and in turn, complete. I just hope that it won't be a long time for the second Price of Freedom to drop! Good shit!
on 3/31/2017 1:03:43 PM with a score of 0
This is too good to be left without a sequel!
on 3/29/2017 7:54:36 AM with a score of 0
I-I love ito and I really felt the emotions through the text.
on 3/28/2017 9:00:24 PM with a score of 0
Brilliant! More , a sequel please, a animation even!
-- An an. on 3/26/2017 9:38:09 PM with a score of 0
Amazing, where is the next book?
-- Lorag on 3/24/2017 9:33:09 AM with a score of 0
Amazing, where is the next book?
-- Lorag on 3/24/2017 5:26:09 AM with a score of 0
Please continue i am enjoying this I like making choices in story's and I like Ancient Rome very awesome lots of support from me to continue making these
-- T dude on 3/23/2017 10:24:55 PM with a score of 0
This actually made me think of me and my brother if we were ever in that situation. I teared up a little, I giggled and I really really really enjoyed it! Keep up the great work and make plenty more!
on 3/22/2017 10:56:07 AM with a score of 0
-- MrMcGoofy on 3/22/2017 3:24:48 AM with a score of 0
Was Really In Depth And Enjoyaple! Great Game!
on 3/21/2017 7:01:30 AM with a score of 0
nice gsme interesting story would like the rest
-- thoms on 3/20/2017 10:22:59 PM with a score of 0
-- Callie on 3/20/2017 3:21:22 PM with a score of 0
First game I've tried on here and I have to say it's amazing!
on 3/18/2017 6:58:01 PM with a score of 0
this was AMAZING. I loved every part of it and especilly the way you can gain favor with other people, it was a story of hard choices, a really good story.
-- Nick K. on 3/18/2017 4:58:53 PM with a score of 0
This is amazingly well written! The descriptions are superb and I engaged into the plot immersively. Unlike many of the stories I've read on this site, the characters feel very real. They stirred strong feelings of empathy within me and I was facing an inner struggle everytime I had to make a choice.
on 3/17/2017 12:47:51 AM with a score of 0
AMAZING! Can't wait for more! :)
-- Tavi on 3/16/2017 5:27:47 PM with a score of 0
This was so good! I showed this to my Latin class and my teacher loved it!
-- Alicia Benson on 3/13/2017 8:33:40 PM with a score of 0
it was fucking awesome
on 3/12/2017 12:16:14 PM with a score of 0
Amazing story,kept me enthralled to the the end.
Really looking forward to the next part.
on 3/12/2017 8:03:09 AM with a score of 0
can you not succeed?
-- Alicia Benson on 3/8/2017 2:51:03 AM with a score of 0
Wow,all i can say is the drama is amazingly fun.
-- yana on 3/7/2017 5:09:00 PM with a score of 0
More please :)
-- A passerby on 3/7/2017 4:18:15 PM with a score of 0
This game good, yes? Plot was interesting, very, very good novel!
-- Zenyatta on 3/4/2017 11:20:16 PM with a score of 0
That is incredible !
All the story, the character's personality and emotions... It looks so realistic. That's just perfect, great work !
-- ... on 3/4/2017 11:38:57 AM with a score of 0
Really intriguing Character development keep up the good work,definitely better than a tease cup©
-- Wallace on 3/4/2017 1:29:47 AM with a score of 0
I thought that it was very interesting from the slaves point of view
-- 248batman16 on 3/3/2017 9:53:35 AM with a score of 0
THIS IS THE BEST ONE EVER!!! I had never read such an interesting historical book about the a Roman Empire's slaves. My critique is when you had to choose who to save, Gerda, or Zeru. They were both hard choices, and that's what makes a good book, because it had an impact, you just need mire decisions like that. Please keep up the great work and hurry with the next book please!!! This is too interesting too lose interest of!
-- jamma192 on 3/2/2017 10:36:01 PM with a score of 0
I liked this very much!
Can't wait for the next part!
-- ConcernedCitizen on 3/2/2017 5:04:00 PM with a score of 0
it was pretty good
on 3/2/2017 11:49:08 AM with a score of 0
on 3/1/2017 6:07:25 PM with a score of 0
on 2/28/2017 12:57:52 PM with a score of 0
Not bad and the battles are good so in all honesty ill rate this story good not quility but good because its better than 90 percent than the other games
on 2/28/2017 4:31:04 AM with a score of 0
Exciting- you don't know what will happen next.
-- Y on 2/26/2017 10:10:49 AM with a score of 0
this shiz is pretty kool dood did this instead of homwork lol thx for the good me me's
-- Nick on 2/25/2017 10:11:04 PM with a score of 0
Continue the story!!!!!!
on 2/23/2017 2:11:32 PM with a score of 0
An emotional rollercoaster.
My heart is beating and my blood boiling, good work.
on 2/22/2017 6:00:05 PM with a score of 0
Amazing story, the only thing that I didn't like was how abruptly it ended.
-- TBlake on 2/22/2017 4:38:16 PM with a score of 0
This is good! The RP in this G is there and you can feel it throughout the story. Keep making more of this, I would love to see them free or part of the army in the future
on 2/21/2017 12:43:01 AM with a score of 0
I thought the story was great. I can't wait for part 2!!!
on 2/19/2017 12:00:36 AM with a score of 0
I really enjoyed this story!! Keep up the good work. ^_^
on 2/18/2017 8:15:03 PM with a score of 0
I loved this game a lot! A very good plot. Please come out with a second one soon!
on 2/18/2017 4:18:17 PM with a score of 0
The story was very nice and detailed. It was very intriguing to see this perspective of this topic during the times of Rome and I look forward to seeing more from this author!
-- mexterinfinite on 2/18/2017 1:07:37 AM with a score of 0
why do you do this kill your self
-- wtf on 2/17/2017 10:43:41 AM with a score of 0
Very good story. Had tough decisions. R.I.P. Gerda. Would do again to see other choices.
-- PotatoePope on 2/16/2017 12:21:32 PM with a score of 0
-- cheyenne on 2/13/2017 6:00:22 PM with a score of 0
Great writing, interesting characters, and legitimately hard choices. Would read again.
-- Alex Kotsifas on 2/12/2017 3:13:14 PM with a score of 0
pretty good overall. only needs a little more length.
on 2/9/2017 3:01:34 PM with a score of 0
Way too short! :c
-- Adam on 2/7/2017 11:34:49 AM with a score of 0
I thought it was an epic tale, It says to be continued though, are you going to make another one? If you are I wil read it. Well GREAT job in my opinion, it was enthralling and at at times the decisions where hard. Keep up the good work. (Also I need someone to help me in my first story game.)
on 2/6/2017 2:27:55 PM with a score of 0
This is a great great great fabulously amazing story and I am so happy I got to read/play it. Thank you SOOOOO much for making it and please add onto it soon. Thank you.
-- Charlie Parker on 2/5/2017 3:58:54 PM with a score of 0
The story, characterisation, tension, everything is great.
Its not senseless killing, there is a feeling of wistful qualia revolving around this piece that I can't track.
I look forward to the next book.
on 2/4/2017 4:52:03 PM with a score of 0
A wonderfully well written story. The characters have been crafted with such care and I was sucked in from the first few pages. I am looking forward to the second part.
on 2/2/2017 10:20:30 PM with a score of 0
I liked the first version,when you had to choose between Gerda and Zulu...
on 1/29/2017 3:42:45 PM with a score of 0
Very entertaining. Likeable characters and interesting story. GG, look forward ti the next instalment.
on 1/28/2017 6:47:34 PM with a score of 0
An amazing story which I enjoyed to read
-- Tyson Richardson on 1/24/2017 3:31:22 AM with a score of 0
This is so good. So, so good. I was really invested into the characters and the story, and I had to keep replaying it to see if I could figure out how to save everyone. Where is Part 2? I really need Part 2. Like, I need it. Please make it, these characters are so good and this setting is wonderful. I need my fix.
-- Is This Required on 1/22/2017 7:44:59 PM with a score of 0
a very worthwhile read, excited for more!
-- xavier (: on 1/22/2017 2:17:14 PM with a score of 0
Amazing story. It made me feel like I was actually there. Sucks that one of them died.
on 1/21/2017 7:22:53 PM with a score of 0
Heartbreaking, and I can't believe it had to stop.
-- Wolf on 1/21/2017 3:32:01 PM with a score of 0
This story was amazing!! I just wish it was longer, I looked forward to seeing a time skip of sorts where the main characters were older and more hardened and maybe a new conflict arises, idk but keep up the good work!! I hope there's a sequel!!
-- mike on 1/19/2017 7:00:49 AM with a score of 0
A damn good story, left me hungry for more.
-- TyrannosaurusRex on 1/16/2017 7:05:23 PM with a score of 0
i loved it a lot, but i wish there was a way to check on your relation ships with every one
-- Adam on 1/15/2017 7:07:40 AM with a score of 0
Good, solid gameplay here. The story is also well written. It's just that I expected more. Guess that means you did something right! :)
Can't wait for the other chapters.
on 1/14/2017 11:25:42 AM with a score of 0
Far better than I thought it would be! I really enjoyed this but I would have liked a summary of my status at the end. Also, will the character carry on to the next episode?
on 1/12/2017 4:13:00 AM with a score of 0
I know it might be kind of weird, but I've always liked gladiator stories -- especially when they're still in "school." My mind usually wandered off and created a part of the story that never existed, what would happen or who he would become if he chose differently. What I really like about this is the fact that it doesn't have to be imaginary anymore!
Although I don't know you, and you don't me; Thank you!
-- MissMastertrucker on 1/9/2017 2:36:55 AM with a score of 0
This was an amazing choose-your-own-story! By the end I was crying for the young ones. I wish that these things hadn't happened back then, no one deserved it. I hope to see more of your beautiful works in the future!
-- Kaitlyn on 1/7/2017 11:58:32 PM with a score of 0
Pretty enjoyable on the whole but with little flaws : a good depiction of slavery, brutality, fragile friendships and hatred but it was a bit short. The writer is skilled enough but realistic details (not only in descriptions) was expected to soak up the atmosphere. You know it when you read historical novels that this writing lacks research at one point (sorry but I won't back off, it's for your own good). I think there were a lot of simplistic characters: Gerda -> the maniach girl, Alexius -> the coward (from the start, I wanted to kill him out of exasperation), Septimus -> the despicable and wealthy brat, Titus -> the intelligent and thirsty-for-glory master, Lula -> the tough cookie girl (definitely not a balance between her and Alexius, there is a reversal of gender roles) and finally Caecilia -> the beautiful and meek angel who is just as delicate or dumb as a doll, ugh! She is clearly seen as an object and I noticed that objects are really important, whether they are alive or not.
on 1/7/2017 3:11:46 PM with a score of 0
best story eveeeeeeer
-- DJ on 1/3/2017 5:24:28 PM with a score of 0
This was a fantastic piece of work truly an amazing read.
-- BigGorrack18 on 1/3/2017 6:21:20 AM with a score of 0
It was such a good story! Super immersive and very well written. I wish there was some sort of sequel! ??
-- Sara on 12/28/2016 6:16:25 AM with a score of 0
It was okay.
-- James on 12/27/2016 2:45:00 PM with a score of 0
on 12/27/2016 1:14:20 AM with a score of 0
A really fun story!
-- alex on 12/26/2016 8:21:17 AM with a score of 0
on 12/25/2016 4:07:15 AM with a score of 0
Where is the rest of the story?! You can't end it right there, you've got to make more!
on 12/18/2016 2:19:52 AM with a score of 0
Yay al least I survived xd
on 12/17/2016 3:58:25 PM with a score of 0
Best story yet. I want more XD
on 12/16/2016 1:33:47 AM with a score of 0
-- Gianni on 12/15/2016 10:46:23 PM with a score of 0
This was a fun game. I enjoyed the reputation point mechanic. I hope you make more games like this. BTW, I got good reputation with everyone.
-- CatLover366 on 12/15/2016 9:24:28 PM with a score of 0
i would love to work with the author write more brilliant stories
-- Lelouch on 12/9/2016 2:44:52 PM with a score of 0
Great story I love the approval and disapproval of the Characters adds a nice touch to the story I really wish the story was more longer but I definitely would recommend this story to anyone plus I love how the strength and agility plays a role in this story
on 12/6/2016 7:08:31 PM with a score of 0
Fantastic, can't wait to play the next part.
on 12/5/2016 2:53:57 AM with a score of 0
Unfortunately this rating seems almost an insult, mainly 'cause I didn't play a cent to you to play through this
-- Pyrope on 12/3/2016 1:42:59 AM with a score of 0
This was so good?? I loved every part of it!!
-- Hannah on 12/2/2016 4:26:49 PM with a score of 0
I liked it
-- nehal on 12/1/2016 5:27:39 AM with a score of 0
There is good writing and a great story, but there are so few choices in it. I read what felt like 20 pages and maybe made only 10 decisions. I don't get to go home and I don't get to try to escape from being a gladiator. I don't even get to do any more than one fight.
Also, I finished thr story in about 3 hours. I wouldn't say that that is such a long story. All in all, I think this would make an excellent novella or short story, but there were too few decisions to really make it a great choose your fate story.
-- Reader on 11/30/2016 12:39:23 PM with a score of 0
This game was spectacular, I can't wait for you to make the next part for it.
on 11/27/2016 3:21:15 PM with a score of 0
amazing! I loved every moment of it
-- Maya on 11/27/2016 10:17:22 AM with a score of 0
-- Yey on 11/27/2016 3:36:21 AM with a score of 0
None of the others died.Great job! :3
on 11/26/2016 5:39:09 PM with a score of 0
Nice work! Overall it has a nice story.
It would have been even better if it was longer however that is my opnion so I guess it doesn't matter.
Keep up and surely you will achieve something even more amazing.
-- Ken on 11/26/2016 2:50:12 PM with a score of 0
-- Si on 11/26/2016 12:44:15 PM with a score of 0
I think this game/story has a lot going for it. I really enjoyed the writing itself. The characters are also realistic which is really important to any story or game. The only thing that could be improved is the amount of choices and the quality of the choice. There were a lot of times in the story that only gave you two or three options. Also I think that given the circumstances there should have been more choices to attempt escape or even kill his master.
-- Lenae on 11/25/2016 5:03:05 PM with a score of 0
This was, as others have said, wonderful and immersive, emotional without being sappy. I knocked off one for the constant (and consistent, so I assume it's just a lack of knowledge, not carelessness) dialogue errors, they were the only thing that took me out of the story. Really good, right from the beginning.
on 11/24/2016 5:31:46 PM with a score of 0
A very good novel, hopefully there will be more to come.
on 11/22/2016 8:07:55 PM with a score of 0
Awesome story. Thanks for the read.
-- Jordy on 11/22/2016 12:34:28 AM with a score of 0
Greatly written! And really good job on the proof reading, I think i only saw one mistake or two :)
on 11/15/2016 4:50:31 PM with a score of 0
was the amazing game i ever played
on 11/15/2016 3:17:22 PM with a score of 0
Well-written, intense, and heartbreaking. Within a few pages I felt as if I truly was the hero, and that the others truly were my brother, friends, enemies, etc. The story perfectly captures the hopelessness of its time. Excellent work.
-- falcon242 on 11/15/2016 2:12:51 PM with a score of 0
I'm just going to say one word.... Awesome. During the whole time in this story I was si absorbed that I've lost track of time. Great job author and co-author.
-- Allen on 11/15/2016 5:24:49 AM with a score of 0
on 11/14/2016 10:25:31 PM with a score of 0
That was amazing
-- Juliea on 11/13/2016 4:55:21 PM with a score of 0
OMG one of the best stories I have ever read. If there is more to this please tell me! Also I recorded the entire thing for youtube as a lets play.
on 11/10/2016 3:30:05 AM with a score of 0
HOLY SHIT THIS WAS A GOOD ONE... keep making these.
on 11/9/2016 4:33:58 PM with a score of 0
Awesome game just spent two hours playing no regrets
-- Alexander martin on 11/7/2016 3:08:33 AM with a score of 0
Very well written even though some parts could be a little better, I wish it was longer but I understand it's hard to write a part for decisions and such.
-- Colby on 11/6/2016 8:23:09 PM with a score of 0
-- Josh on 11/6/2016 2:22:49 AM with a score of 0
Thanks for the story
-- Nunyubusiness on 11/1/2016 8:46:04 AM with a score of 0
Hands down, one of the finest stories I've seen. I don't have any advice to give, this is already perfect. 8/8
-- AgentX on 10/26/2016 8:46:08 AM with a score of 0
-- IRISH on 10/25/2016 3:24:00 AM with a score of 0
Okay, so I enjoyed this thoroughly... when's the sequel hitting?
on 10/24/2016 6:11:08 PM with a score of 0
it is so awesome!!!
Pls write more!!!
on 10/24/2016 8:05:26 AM with a score of 0
I. LOVED. THIS. THIS WAS GREAT. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS STORYGAME. THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU
I will definitely be playing this again sometime.
on 10/17/2016 12:02:47 PM with a score of 0
this was the best, you have to keep going!
-- t on 10/17/2016 5:32:20 AM with a score of 0
I loved it!!! I would love another one please!!!!!!!!!!
-- Debra Halbert on 10/15/2016 1:27:24 AM with a score of 0
I was looking for a game that would actually make me gasp a little, or put my hand to my fragile heart, or be on the edge of my seat, or SOMETHING. This story had me do just that. I'm excited to see what happens next, simply because your writing is so enjoyable to read. It's very comfortable, and it makes interested in what's going on. I think I learned some things here today, too. And the characters! They all have different personalities and I actually bothered to remember their names. I'll be eagerly waiting the next installment, just because I want to know more.
on 10/13/2016 8:17:52 PM with a score of 0
Such a good story! It's so interesting and it's very heart-warming. It has a logical point of view also. I definitely recommend this!
on 10/9/2016 11:16:11 PM with a score of 0
This games is great fun. The story is great and new players will love this! :)
-- sammich on 10/9/2016 2:07:14 AM with a score of 0
Great fun, reminds me of being a kid, thanks
-- TAZ on 10/7/2016 2:04:44 PM with a score of 0
This was the best story I've ever read. I loved every moment of it because it had me on the edge of my seat every step of the way.
You have a talent and a gift. I hope you never lose sight of it!
In your profile, I read of your loss and couldn't help but want to tell you this:
"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."
That quote has gotten me through the worst of times and I really hope it does the same for you.
-- Ariana on 10/7/2016 12:38:47 PM with a score of 0
Great game. Read none of it. Won. Great game.
-- Nick Greene on 10/6/2016 11:42:15 PM with a score of 0
Really, really great. I love it. The only thing that bothers me is the last conversation with Lula. I myself made all my decisions through the story in Alexius' favor, I always did what was best for him and tried to make him happy. I know this doesn't count for all players, but it does for me. And now she's telling me that I can't just think about myself, but that I have to keep him safe? Bitch, that's what I did the whole time. You know nothing.
But really, great story
-- Solangelo on 10/4/2016 2:59:36 PM with a score of 0
it was great
on 10/3/2016 11:20:30 PM with a score of 0
I really enjoyed this story, the characters were amazing.
-- Noah on 10/1/2016 11:35:42 PM with a score of 0
It's interesting, but I don't like the forced love interest angle. Who would have time to worry about "pretty girls" when life or death is on the line? Besides, why assume the character is straight anyway? Either way, I wish there were an option to punch Caecilia in her naive little face.
-- Lydia on 9/29/2016 6:35:13 AM with a score of 0
Great story. Can't wait for the next installment
-- Jordi P on 9/28/2016 12:01:23 PM with a score of 0
NICE ONE, FEW GRAMATICAL MISTAKES BUT ITS OKAY PLS MAKE PART 2
-- sn3akmo on 9/28/2016 10:57:48 AM with a score of 0
First story I read. It was awesome and I loved it.
on 9/27/2016 11:12:00 PM with a score of 0
This was a great story with very interesting characters. I like the setting and the length of the story is great.
on 9/27/2016 2:15:25 AM with a score of 0
One of the saddest stories I've read in a very long time . Very well written n incredible knowledgable.
-- Lisa on 9/26/2016 1:59:59 PM with a score of 0
This was great, well put together and I hope there to be a sequel. I have high hopes for this
-- Karma on 9/26/2016 10:15:26 AM with a score of 0
I thought the plot was well structured, and the story nicely described. I enjoyed the character development as well. Keep up the good work!
-- UrUberDriver on 9/25/2016 9:45:02 PM with a score of 0
I enjoyed this story a lot and I thought the plot and characters were great. I would want to see more of this story possibly stretched out over multiple years that way readers would be able to dabble in the character's lives as a whole. Keep up the good work.
-- Shad on 9/25/2016 9:23:43 PM with a score of 0
This was a great story that I couldn't stop reading! Love it!
on 9/25/2016 12:34:52 PM with a score of 0
Can't wait for the sequel 10\10
-- TommyGun on 9/25/2016 3:23:37 AM with a score of 0
-- BlazeGhostFlame on 9/24/2016 9:57:09 PM with a score of 0
the first chooseyourstory tale i ever read, and honestly, i fell so hard and completely in love. everything about it is wonderful in ways i can't properly describe; i felt genuine horror, fear, tension, and love for the narration and the characters of the story, something not every book or tale i've read has done. everything was executed perfectly, and i look extremely forward to reading the next part, should there be one!
on 9/23/2016 6:05:21 AM with a score of 0
The Roman Empire has always fascinated me. The culture, the society and everything. So seeing a story that is set during its time... well I just cant resist reading it. I am looking forward for the next part.
on 9/22/2016 6:20:27 AM with a score of 0
Seriously good stuff. I can't wait to have more.
on 9/21/2016 12:50:09 AM with a score of 0
-- Kar on 9/20/2016 9:48:57 PM with a score of 0
-- Tiago on 9/18/2016 4:57:41 PM with a score of 0
I loved this. I can't wait for the next one :-)
-- Misty Pollitt on 9/17/2016 7:50:17 PM with a score of 0
Oh my goodness
-- Jazzy on 9/16/2016 10:40:19 PM with a score of 0
I love gladiator stories, especially this one. I wish the approval played more into the plot. I would have made it so certain links appear with certain amounts of approval. Regardless, great job on the characters!
on 9/16/2016 2:28:41 PM with a score of 0
I simply put just loved it! There really is no other way to describe it.
-- Ella on 9/10/2016 10:39:35 AM with a score of 0
Hey, man. Wow. Just wow. I thank you deeply for that experience. You made me feel like 7 months passed in 1 hour. It is stories like this one that make me feel lucky for being a reader, the experiences, the excitement, the rage, the sadness, etc... and these exact stories give me a life lesson that everyone knows but not everyone acknowledges it (kind of like Brasus) which is, every choice matters.
Forever grateful for this.
-- Roger. A.k.A. Andreas on 9/10/2016 3:54:24 AM with a score of 0
I loved it! I can't wait to continue!
-- Taylor Conner on 9/9/2016 8:56:56 AM with a score of 0
really epic...so much emotion
on 9/6/2016 10:05:39 PM with a score of 0
This is a great game I hope to see more, I was so scared when I had to fight in the arena and save friends, thank you for the experience and I hope to see more
-- Dayton on 9/5/2016 8:01:05 PM with a score of 0
This was absolutely the best waste of my time on this website. 10 out of 10, would adventure again. :)
-- Sarah on 9/2/2016 7:30:01 PM with a score of 0
All in all, really good. Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more.
on 8/27/2016 9:15:21 PM with a score of 0
Well-written, and very emotional at times. Loved the character of sweet Caecilian, and the touching portrayals of Lulu Brass is and Alexis. Sorry for the misspellings of the names; thanks for a great story
-- eric on 8/27/2016 7:48:15 PM with a score of 0
so lovely characters, I felt the fights when I was playing the game
-- Joanna on 8/25/2016 3:17:58 PM with a score of 0
Its such a good book i want another
-- Dylan A on 8/23/2016 10:46:17 AM with a score of 0
Very well written and thoroughly enjoyable. I look forward to the sequel(s).
on 8/22/2016 7:18:00 AM with a score of 0
Amazing. simply amazing.
-- XTWK on 8/21/2016 7:59:01 PM with a score of 0
I'm new on this site and I think this gave me a great first experience! I loved the writing <3
on 8/20/2016 11:19:15 AM with a score of 0
Can't wait to read the next one! This is our first story from this website and we were not disappointed.
-- raven on 8/17/2016 10:01:55 PM with a score of 0
I'm sorry I couldn't give it the highest rating it was so sad!!! I cried at the last hunger games, and while I didn't cry here, it touched me much more. What is life if you only exist to end it for others? It was great. Just, make sure to keep giving us a LITTLE closer. Please? It's really the only way to make it through the story.
-- PersonFace on 8/17/2016 8:05:04 PM with a score of 0
I've only gotten the gladiator ending, while keeping everyone alive. I feel as though that path has the most promise for me as a character. I can't wait for the next one.
on 8/17/2016 11:51:42 AM with a score of 0
Ready for the next part :)
on 8/16/2016 12:18:54 PM with a score of 0
Grammar could use some work. Storyline was solid, didn't really stand out to me though.
-- Anon on 8/15/2016 1:42:27 PM with a score of 0
Really great story, very fun. Thank you for your work. I look forward to continuing the adventure should you choose to add installments. If you were to adapt it into a full novel, I'm certain it would sell well. Good luck to you!
-- Lizzy on 8/13/2016 5:31:41 PM with a score of 0
This was such an amazing story! I really hope you make a second part!
-- Jaida on 8/13/2016 12:06:58 PM with a score of 0
Loved it! I have a short attention span but this kept me reading until the end. Very engaging, from the first sentence I was hooked.
-- Mia on 8/11/2016 1:21:44 AM with a score of 0
Holy fuck its amazing! Sad to see it finished, was hoping for more. Nevertheless, it was a beautifully written story, looking forward to more of your work.
-- Mari on 8/10/2016 4:13:17 PM with a score of 0
It was really nice.
on 8/10/2016 8:52:54 AM with a score of 0
Super dope immersive story.
-- Nate on 8/8/2016 2:16:24 PM with a score of 0
-- Bob on 8/1/2016 2:06:47 PM with a score of 0
Great work! Although... Poor Zeru, He didnt have to die.
This Story Game is among the best i've played! Good work! I'm rather proud of the ending i got, Although a bit on the easy side, Still really great! I applaud you!
on 7/31/2016 6:38:52 PM with a score of 0
Really good story line and the plot is so intellectually written it gave me hard choices to make,and I love challenges.
-- Ciel Alexander on 7/28/2016 6:11:10 AM with a score of 0
This is an amazing story, I was totally captivated the whole time. I haven't been that interested in a book in a long time. Thanks for such an amazing story, please don't ever stop writing!
-- Mitchell on 7/26/2016 2:15:31 PM with a score of 0
This story was really good ! Thank you for writing it.
I felt empathy for some characters and I hated some others.
I also enjoyed picking choices, and coming back to pick better choices. I gave it a 8/8 and I look forward to the next part.
-- Dollie on 7/26/2016 11:20:24 AM with a score of 0
Damn.... sort and fucking sweet. MORE MORE MORE!!!!
-- emmm on 7/25/2016 11:28:40 PM with a score of 0
I enjoy the stats.
-- Max on 7/25/2016 9:24:07 PM with a score of 0
Good story. Not sure what all the approval ratings were for maybe they will come into play in the later stories.
on 7/25/2016 4:32:19 PM with a score of 0
Well-paced, exciting and fleshed-out story with nods to culture.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
-- Name on 7/25/2016 3:11:32 PM with a score of 0
Very very good. Seems a little short but maybe that's just because I enjoyed it so much haha
-- Sparrow on 7/24/2016 3:20:39 PM with a score of 0
Loved every single paragraph. Keep up the goo work. I can't wait to play the next one!
-- Asher on 7/22/2016 4:20:44 AM with a score of 0
Beautiful story, though I admit to cheating twice because I accidentally clicked the wrong answer.. (Cheating=back a page) I would even pay to play the game (which is rare for me and choose your own stories).
-- WolfieParks on 7/20/2016 10:01:00 PM with a score of 0
This really hit me hard in the emotions. I could only think about my little brother. This little story to me felt as if it were a great novel. I enjoyed it, and at times picked the only right option between life and death which made it even more enjoyable. I hope to see another to this so I can continue my story and find out what happens. Great job.
-- Matthew on 7/20/2016 3:31:53 AM with a score of 0
When is the next one out?
on 7/18/2016 5:13:33 AM with a score of 0
-- King Kiv on 7/17/2016 7:10:03 AM with a score of 0
It's so lovely and heartbreaking to know and to feel the people around you die but it's for the best ya know? It really makes me feel as if I'm making a real life changing choice having to go through all of that and it's nice to know you could understand the choices not in a bad way but for the better.
on 7/16/2016 3:34:55 PM with a score of 0
-- Dude on 7/15/2016 8:43:32 AM with a score of 0
Great, now I'm obssese with the story!
-- tori on 7/14/2016 5:32:54 PM with a score of 0
this was really good
-- eb on 7/14/2016 2:28:41 PM with a score of 0
Very well done. Very exciting and at times, emotional. The writer has done a great job of creating a rich world for Andreas to exist in. Some spelling and grammar issues, but these are very rare and don't really affect anything. It is about children killing each other though, which I obviously didn't like. Can't complain though. It's a historical story and things like this actually happened. It's better that we remember that and appreciate the quality our lives rather than just forgetting about how bad it could be. Of course, in some countries this sort of horrific abuse still exists. Just a thought...
on 7/13/2016 5:56:20 PM with a score of 0
Really good story and a good concept and way of using stats. I am looking forward to next release
on 7/13/2016 12:27:21 PM with a score of 0
I loved it
on 7/13/2016 10:15:58 AM with a score of 0
Epic story when will a sequel happen?
-- Caleb on 7/13/2016 1:00:25 AM with a score of 0
This story is very engaging. I was sucked right in... This story is beautifully written and heart-wrenching at the same time
-- Ashlyn on 7/12/2016 10:57:13 PM with a score of 0
This is my first chooseyourstory and I will definitely be back after playing this one (I only died once) when I tried to pull the net
-- Bradley on 7/12/2016 5:49:06 PM with a score of 0
This was an amazing read. Wonderful character development and captivating plot. Can't wait for the next chapter!!
on 7/12/2016 5:26:25 PM with a score of 0
Very good story unfortunately too short.
on 7/7/2016 3:22:04 PM with a score of 0
I thoroughly enjoyed it and hope to find its sequel (if one exists). I love the characters, the setting, the plot and the 5hemes. Amazing job!
-- Bryant on 7/5/2016 9:56:50 PM with a score of 0
i expected more killing and training but its okay
on 7/5/2016 4:15:13 PM with a score of 0
Great update! Thanks for taking your time to develop the story.
on 7/3/2016 6:08:45 AM with a score of 0
Decent story not many problems, wish the relationships with cecillia would have developed slightly more than where it left off for a first part of a trilogy.
-- Thomas Diver on 7/2/2016 7:47:01 PM with a score of 0
This was the first thing I read on this site and it was definitely a good choice! Keep up with the awesomeness! :)
-- Sabine the bean on 6/30/2016 12:11:00 AM with a score of 0
Quite an engaging story. Characters are believable and you actually have to really consider your options. Well done!
on 6/28/2016 7:14:23 PM with a score of 0
very good make lots of these
-- gamer god on 6/23/2016 12:00:24 AM with a score of 0
Awesome made me want to keep reading
-- Frank on 6/22/2016 9:22:13 PM with a score of 0
-- ReaderMe on 6/22/2016 4:28:03 AM with a score of 0
The moral dilemmas in this hurt my heart to choose between. This was certainly not your average CYOA story. It was well written, thoroughly researched, and worth sacrificing sleep over.
-- Dante M. on 6/21/2016 8:25:13 PM with a score of 0
OMG, that was so fun!!! I can't wait for the other two!
-- Markus on 6/20/2016 8:15:33 PM with a score of 0
Really great, I absolutely loved it. I would really like to see a squeal.
-- Krystal on 6/20/2016 5:26:43 PM with a score of 0
I LOVED IT but it is a bit sad :(
on 6/19/2016 2:48:50 AM with a score of 0
Awesome story! You can tell that you worked hard on it.
-- Christian on 6/17/2016 4:57:27 AM with a score of 0
I'm usaully a silent reader, but this story changed that. I laughed, I raged, I nearly cried, God I felt like I was there! And not just becausethe story was in second person! Please don't see my comment as a fake, "pay me to make you look good" type of thing. This is a genuine response and I've honestly never been this into a story! YOU HAVE TO READ IT! I could see this as an actual hardcover book! Even a movie! Love the author keep up the good work! Love love LOVE this story! XOXOXOXO Also, to whoever is reading this, please understand I'm not being paid to write this comment! (I tend to say "I wonder how much he/she got paid to wtite that..." when I read comments for anything lol so I'm just putting that out there for anyone who's like me!
Also, I left my email for the author, I'd really love to talk with you about your writing and style and such!
-- Tasha on 6/14/2016 11:32:52 PM with a score of 0
This had my adrennaline pumping untill the end! A very exiting story, showing different Gladiators and how they fought! The choices were hard especially faced with life or death.
-- Dylan Hecht on 6/13/2016 5:00:07 AM with a score of 0
A great game. The affinity system was interesting and played out not as well as I hoped, but still good. A great game altogether, play it! Although, you already know that.
on 6/12/2016 11:55:42 PM with a score of 0
Just finished my first play through and I have to say its a shame to see my "Make everyone happy" strategy isn't going to work. The story has a unique setting and interesting enough characters to keep you interested. Can't wait for part two
on 6/10/2016 11:42:04 PM with a score of 0
Waiting for second good job!
on 6/9/2016 7:12:50 AM with a score of 0
Waiting eagerly for the next installments
-- Ace on 6/9/2016 6:43:05 AM with a score of 0
Very immersive and skillfully done - well worth it!
on 6/9/2016 4:02:02 AM with a score of 0
Waiting eagerly for the next installments
-- Ace on 6/9/2016 1:23:50 AM with a score of 0
Waiting eagerly for the next installments
-- Ace on 6/9/2016 12:20:02 AM with a score of 0
Excellent game; a challenging experience, but worth it for the superb writing and wonderfully complex/detailed characters.
on 6/8/2016 3:00:47 PM with a score of 0
This was so good! I love the mix of characters you have, and how they all interact with each other. Everything about this felt realistic. It was a good length, and I was never I satisfied with my possible choices. Excellent job, and I can't wait to continue Andreas's story.
on 6/7/2016 9:27:22 PM with a score of 0
This game is one of the best I've ever played. I love the plot and the description...I even like myself. Really good. Keep it up, maybe one day, this will take you somewhere.
P.S I totally ship myself with Lula. ;)
-- Anonymous on 6/2/2016 4:04:09 PM with a score of 0
Loved the story, the author is truly a gifted story teller. If I could make any comments, I'd say maybe make more consequences or benefits from the relationships you build/ burn with people. Maybe in extending the story, there could be more of a relationship arc with Caecelia, or something. Maybe there could be sort of a bigger revenge arc on septimus, or some more methods of escape. Personally though, I think this story was well written, and excellently crafted.
-- Il_Capo on 6/2/2016 9:50:35 AM with a score of 0
I would like to see more of the story! Like have Andreas have to choose if he wants to be with Titus's daughter or not! It seems like it would be great! Or get released early then go on a quest with his brother and go find his mom!
-- Paxton on 6/2/2016 9:23:28 AM with a score of 0
To be absolutely honest, I've never been on this website before, or played any games. But for my first experience, this seems absolutely amazing, I can't wait to see those that follow.
-- Rachel on 6/1/2016 7:42:25 PM with a score of 0
It was nice except for one thing...it didn't have a dolphin.
-- Hu Da Phuc on 6/1/2016 6:36:19 PM with a score of 0
good but short
on 5/31/2016 1:38:51 PM with a score of 0
Hi, I love your story. At least I was able to survive... Anyways I want to say that was quite unexpected really. When I read this it reminded me of a song by Fall out Boys, I think called 'centuries'... Just wanna say I loved your story and all the twists and plots to it. Keep up the good work ????????
-- Mikael on 5/31/2016 3:11:07 AM with a score of 0
on 5/28/2016 5:30:00 PM with a score of 0
This is the best choose your own adventure I have ever read.
I NEED MORE!!!
-- Kate on 5/23/2016 4:24:24 PM with a score of 0
Very great game I really enjoyed myself !
Impatient to see the next parts !
-- OVEGAME on 5/22/2016 10:50:13 AM with a score of 0
A nicely balanced little game. Though, I do feel like there weren't any bad-vs-bad decisions. Everything was easily (sort of) compromised.
-- Deanna on 5/21/2016 1:16:53 AM with a score of 0
This was enjoyable, I can't wait till another
-- Metal Lee on 5/20/2016 9:02:20 PM with a score of 0
This was the first game i played on this site and it was a perfect start. I saw the last thing say to be continued so i want to play that to but i don't know what it is. Definitely keep making more.
on 5/20/2016 8:40:03 PM with a score of 0
Amazing, heart breaking, well thought out, endearing, frustrating... Thank you for making me cry.
-- Brenna Grassman on 5/20/2016 2:59:17 PM with a score of 0
on 5/19/2016 9:46:08 PM with a score of 0
I loved every moment. The choices were great and I love that I have difficulty choosing what go do. I'll sure as heck be waiting for part two.
-- Mason on 5/19/2016 5:10:38 PM with a score of 0
-- TheSasaWorker on 5/19/2016 9:20:06 AM with a score of 0
Really great! Part two, perhaps?
on 5/18/2016 1:08:53 PM with a score of 0
Wow! Just wow! A master story which kept me listening until the last blade fell! A few side points, women were almost never allowed to fight in the arena because it was considered shameful. Also, the Roman Arena was rarely like a Hunger Games pitting kids against each other. Instead, criminals would fight to the death, or professional gladiators would fight, NOT to the death though. I like to view gladiators more as boxers, not as Hunger Games stereotypes.
on 5/16/2016 8:50:31 PM with a score of 0
This was a perfect story. Thanks for making it and writing it here.
on 5/16/2016 3:14:20 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good story
-- Johnny Unitus on 5/15/2016 9:39:46 PM with a score of 0
-- greg on 5/15/2016 12:36:11 AM with a score of 0
I greatly enjoyed this fantastic story, and I look forward to playing the next game in the series.
on 5/13/2016 5:29:40 PM with a score of 0
-- Save_Zeru on 5/12/2016 11:19:54 PM with a score of 0
good. very good
-- anonymous on 5/12/2016 2:56:45 AM with a score of 0
I really enjoyed this story, very well written with only a couple spelling errors, get story arch and character choices. I loved the connections I could make with the character and enjoyed this story every second I played it
-- Alexander Hurley on 5/11/2016 8:14:30 PM with a score of 0
this was the most amazing story ever
-- sly on 5/10/2016 11:15:43 AM with a score of 0
Wow, just wow.
-- eon on 5/9/2016 9:24:43 PM with a score of 0
Just amazing, loved every bit of it. Please email me or notify me when the second part is available!
on 5/9/2016 7:32:20 PM with a score of 0
That was amazing! I'm not a big fan of reading but I enjoyed this so much. I got so sad when it ended because I wanted more and more, so please, email me or somehow notify me when the second part is available. Thank you!
-- Shade45 on 5/9/2016 7:15:26 PM with a score of 0
-- holly on 5/7/2016 8:50:10 PM with a score of 0
I loved it. Max Speed, Max Strength, Best Gladiator. I just hope i can carry over my success here to benefit in the next part.
on 5/6/2016 7:09:40 PM with a score of 0
-- thomas on 5/6/2016 3:11:25 PM with a score of 0
As my rating says, IT WILL BRING ENLIGHTMENT! Literally, ENLIGHTMENT on how being a slave feels like(a glimpse really), but also IT WILL GIVE YOU ENLIGHTMENT rating wise :D
-- Andrest07 on 5/6/2016 12:29:31 PM with a score of 0
Please continue this glorious piece of pure gold engraved with fine jade decorated with the biggest diamond.
on 4/30/2016 9:56:09 PM with a score of 0
Please make a continuation! PLEASE!! IT'S SO GOOD!
on 4/29/2016 10:46:49 AM with a score of 0
It was awesome is there a continuity?
-- rick on 4/28/2016 4:48:05 PM with a score of 0
Very good, lots of emotion. Great game!
on 4/28/2016 8:12:41 AM with a score of 0
OMG.THat was amazzzzing I died and thought I couldn't come back. I totally recommend this for EVERYONE.
-- JanyiahW on 4/27/2016 7:57:04 PM with a score of 0
Not one for words. But you can basically pool all the best comment's you've ever had and take them as my own. Grand shit. When I get a job all be sure to send you alittle something something.... Looking forward to the sequels. Thoroughly enjoyed this. Best seller worthy.
on 4/27/2016 4:24:41 PM with a score of 0
so far good
on 4/27/2016 9:04:38 AM with a score of 0
wow, when's the 2nd part?
-- Procastinator on 4/26/2016 9:48:15 PM with a score of 0
I absolutely loved this. Once i started bonding with the characters, i got attached right away. I died in the end during my first play and i loved the game too much to leave it at that, i had to play it once more to see the end. It was not disappointing! If this ever became a real book I'd be the first to buy a copy.
-- Leya on 4/23/2016 11:09:47 PM with a score of 0
i loved it! im a medieval times enthusiast, and ive always liked gladiator games. this game was perfect for me! please make a sequel.
on 4/21/2016 7:58:36 PM with a score of 0
This story was incredible, from start to finish.
on 4/19/2016 7:33:37 AM with a score of 0
Gotta say, I'm fond gladiators. Good work with the weapons and training descriptions. Historically sound.
on 4/17/2016 12:28:51 PM with a score of 0
on 4/16/2016 8:07:39 PM with a score of 0
You die either way at the end
-- Ellie on 4/16/2016 7:58:43 AM with a score of 0
loved it when will you make the next one and hope that it is free also i want to see them grow and just wonder what will happen?
-- Samuel on 4/11/2016 8:36:10 PM with a score of 0
It's a good story and I enjoy the stats, I just hope you add more to the story and a way to keep track of the stats.
on 4/11/2016 3:58:43 AM with a score of 0
This was really good. I liked it!
on 4/8/2016 7:29:07 PM with a score of 0
This is very well done. great for beginners, mate. It would be great if this was like a series of books, ya know?
on 4/8/2016 2:01:26 PM with a score of 0
It is so long
-- poop on 4/7/2016 4:48:55 PM with a score of 0
It was good, there was excitement and sadness.
-- LeeAnn on 4/6/2016 1:22:32 PM with a score of 0
This was cool.
-- Amber on 4/6/2016 1:02:11 PM with a score of 0
i absolutely loved this. there are some difficult choices that really make you question the lengths of your morals. i would recommend this to anyone
on 4/6/2016 7:09:01 AM with a score of 0
on 4/5/2016 7:14:22 PM with a score of 0
If there's a sequel, I want to have the chance to kill Titus and Rhode.
-- William Tomlinson on 4/4/2016 11:46:36 PM with a score of 0
I really liked the story; you really brought out the innocence of a child and what it was like for them to have to fight. It was really emotional when the children were forced to experience the adult world, especially when Alexius was there. But when we (Andreas) can change the outcome and make it so that the people close to Andreas can live is by far among the best things about the story. Not only that, but with the little things like trying to save the man who was going to be strapped to the anchor on the boat, it all makes the story great.
By the way, I tried to save the man on the boat, but when I couldn't, it made me a little sad and mad at the captain for being too willing to kill another person. I also kept everyone alive at the end, but was a little sad that I couldn't save the little boy on the other team. All in all, really great story and I hope that there will be the next part. Thank you for writing the story.
-- Robert on 4/4/2016 9:21:39 PM with a score of 0
This was a fantastic tale, I was so entranced. I didn't want it to. But alas all good things must come to an end.
-- Tomas on 4/4/2016 11:35:47 AM with a score of 0
on 4/3/2016 5:00:49 PM with a score of 0
Honestly, I never wanted this to end. I would love to see a part 2, possibly from this point until the "end". 10/10
-- jonathan on 4/2/2016 8:39:29 PM with a score of 0
The Price of Freedom is an excellent adventure, filled with numerous characters with amazing characterization, [Though a few of them could have been a bit more smoothed out] multiple endings/epilogues based upon the decisions, though all end on the same final note, and is in general, one of the best adventures on the site. I can see why it's on the home page, and I hope the next chapter is either just as good, or manages to surpass it.
In summation, this adventure is amazing, and you are amazing, Briar. Keep up the amazing work!
on 4/1/2016 12:13:32 PM with a score of 0
First time reading something like this here at chooseyourstory and I really enjoyed it! I would like it to be more apparent how my strength or speed, or how much different characters liked me affected the story more.
-- Danny on 3/31/2016 3:43:52 PM with a score of 0
This was honestly the best CYS I've ever read/participated in. Fun, well written, daunting, humourous, and dramatic all at the same time. I loved it!
-- Red on 3/31/2016 2:46:23 PM with a score of 0
I MADE IT!!!
I love ur story,can't wait to read the rest!!????
-- Gwen on 3/30/2016 11:36:44 AM with a score of 0
I've seen the show Spartacus, and this adventure brought back nostalgia. It was a good Story.
-- Mo on 3/30/2016 12:19:54 AM with a score of 0
-- Anonymous on 3/29/2016 6:57:49 PM with a score of 0
This whole story was thoroughly entertaining. Everything in it was detailed and realistic, plus the build up of the characters kept me intrigued. I really want to read the next story to see what happens next. Very good job!
on 3/29/2016 9:19:18 AM with a score of 0
aint long enough, shoudl've had more hot africans
a solid 69.134723 outta 4
-- bam pow mamo on 3/28/2016 7:29:29 PM with a score of 0
-- emma on 3/25/2016 12:07:38 AM with a score of 0
Great I loved it!
-- Malina on 3/24/2016 10:26:16 PM with a score of 0
Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the story. just need to be a bit longer
-- JOHN GOODMAN on 3/24/2016 7:54:53 PM with a score of 0
This was really, really amazing. Well written, detailed, great dialogue. It's really, really good. Thank you for making this, I enjoyed it a lot! I know it must've taken time and patience, so... thanks again. :)
-- Kat on 3/21/2016 2:34:16 PM with a score of 0
Short and sweet. I caught two or three minor typos and it was all pretty predictable, but entertaining and interesting nonetheless.
on 3/19/2016 12:52:25 AM with a score of 0
A bit predictable but I enjoyed it.
-- spartacus on 3/18/2016 5:28:06 PM with a score of 0
Really taking point to the consequences and rewards of the actions the player does.
on 3/18/2016 4:46:22 PM with a score of 0
The subject of ancient Romans captivated me immediately. The story was gripping, and I liked the characters and mechanics. Part of it was kind of cliche and the setting, while very emotional, didn't seem very detailed. I feel like if the author had more time to write this, it would've turned a perfect score
on 3/18/2016 1:42:28 AM with a score of 0
Can this author please continue this story? It has not reached an ending yet.
on 3/17/2016 2:48:00 PM with a score of 0
Though it's a sad story, I loved it. Well written, engaging, emotional.
-- Aman on 3/16/2016 7:41:44 PM with a score of 0
on 3/16/2016 2:23:18 AM with a score of 0
awesome! need more now O_O
-- sohil on 3/16/2016 2:00:44 AM with a score of 0
This was a masterpiece.The story, the way it was written, everything. Enjoyed every second reading it. Can't wait for the sequel.
on 3/15/2016 3:11:21 PM with a score of 0
It's a great story. Can't wait to play the sequel
-- Joe on 3/12/2016 9:04:04 PM with a score of 0
Mind blown. Amazing. This should be like a real choose your own adventure game.
-- victoria on 3/12/2016 7:43:03 PM with a score of 0
Oh my God......awesome and truly a sad and touching story.
on 3/11/2016 10:50:04 PM with a score of 0
This is an amazing story I love it and it almost brought me into tears I recommend this story to mature audiences
-- Lauren on 3/11/2016 4:08:58 PM with a score of 0
Good. I really likedon't some of the interactions, though I wished some people hadn't been so harsh to judge. Awesome story!!
-- Ren on 3/11/2016 5:08:58 AM with a score of 0
I would read the next 2 books. This book, the first run through, tells you what type of person you are.
It is different, in a way though. In the book, your actions only cost in the book. Still, good judge.
-- Walker. on 3/10/2016 2:28:56 PM with a score of 0
It has a lot of detail and story behind it. The characters are all very nicely created. You sir (or Miss), have a lot of potential.
on 3/9/2016 11:54:33 AM with a score of 0
Was most excellent! Mature content written with great voice. Characters were well-developed, and I cannot wait for the next chapters.
-- Joy on 3/7/2016 10:30:15 PM with a score of 0
I had many turns on
-- Mianna on 3/7/2016 12:44:54 AM with a score of 0
I gave it a solid 8. It was't perfect but the characters felt real like you breath (wrote really) them to life.
-- Screm on 3/6/2016 11:07:13 AM with a score of 0
As a student of the classics, I can say that this story was actually historically accurate in all aspects that I know of, which is pretty cool. Furthermore, the plot and the way the points for people and skills works is amazing - it's so intricately done. The storyline was extremely sad at times (I'm pretty easy to move to tears, but still), which made me even more invested in the game, since I was rooting for them so hard. Fantastic writing too - the writing style and quality were excellent. Great game! <3
on 3/5/2016 11:51:38 PM with a score of 0
Well written story. I found myself hooked and it didn't take very long to finish.
on 3/3/2016 9:20:33 AM with a score of 0
I normally can't be dragged into a game/story these days if it doesn't have at least a few fireballs and lightning bolts that I can throw around but this one casts a spell of its own. Although it's pretty short(my only gripe!) I actually care about what will happen to these characters next and that is where the real magic of this story lies.
-- Sofia O'Neill on 3/2/2016 9:30:59 AM with a score of 0
It was very interesting, and it felt like I was there. Very excellent job is my opinion. :)
-- Marie on 2/28/2016 4:24:34 PM with a score of 0
It was great! I would like to read more. Keep writing!
-- Windpaw on 2/28/2016 9:43:16 AM with a score of 0
evocative writing, likable characters, I almost cried a little at the end
-- wren on 2/27/2016 10:21:44 PM with a score of 0
To short but sweeeet fifth time playing it and it is still amusing
on 2/27/2016 7:25:11 PM with a score of 0
The story is captivating, just like a good book. It makes you really feel for the characters with an awesome plot to match!
on 2/25/2016 10:49:00 PM with a score of 0
The ending is the same anyway and no smashing :((((((( but good anyways
-- Aerial Ace on 2/24/2016 11:42:44 PM with a score of 0
This was absolutely awesome! Loved everything about this story and the characters. I can't wait for the sequels!!
-- Rebecca on 2/24/2016 8:46:14 PM with a score of 0
PLEAAAAAAAAAASE CONTINUE THIS! I beg of thee
-- Zeryr on 2/23/2016 9:13:50 PM with a score of 0
Very nice and sentimental, can get dramatic at some times. On my list.
-- Cheese on 2/23/2016 9:48:42 AM with a score of 0
on 2/22/2016 9:53:06 PM with a score of 0
-- Esoop on 2/22/2016 7:34:57 PM with a score of 0
Wish it would be finished. I am so interested in this story!
on 2/20/2016 10:50:00 PM with a score of 0
I am so excited for the future installments I can't wait. I don't know if the influence and stuff actually changed anything, but it made it seem like there was actual consequences. I can already tell this is going to be a great story.
on 2/20/2016 6:35:51 AM with a score of 0
-- Michael on 2/19/2016 3:22:16 PM with a score of 0
-- Benjamin hayes on 2/18/2016 6:41:30 PM with a score of 0
Wow. So cool
-- Jenny chan on 2/18/2016 8:18:13 AM with a score of 0
Was awesome :D
-- Bruno on 2/17/2016 1:45:08 PM with a score of 0
This story was a well-executed and entertaining adventure. The prose was direct, engaging, and complete, albeit a little colorless. I especially appreciated the development of the characters. Each personality in the story was dintinct, well-developed, and interesting. With this foundation laid for the characters, I look forward to seeing where the story goes in future installments. The structure and pace of the story was perfect. It is difficult to stay consistent; one must avoiding rambling, dumping exposition, or becoming impatient. I thought this story felt measured and even the entire time, which kept it engaging, and kept me turning the pages.
The story impressed and entertained me. I enjoyed it a great deal, and I look forward to reading future chapters.
on 2/17/2016 12:09:50 AM with a score of 0
:D Because its just so good....
on 2/16/2016 7:13:08 PM with a score of 0
i played through a couple of stories and it seems at the end that its very one sided, its either the people like you or hate you no in between. it would make the story a lot better if theirs a neutral where people dont like or hate you.
-- bwahas on 2/15/2016 9:26:27 AM with a score of 0
LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!! NEED MORE MOREEEE :X
-- rabbiterino on 2/14/2016 6:20:28 PM with a score of 0
I have a bad feeling that in the next one, Titus will die & Septimus will become the new master.
on 2/14/2016 4:55:37 PM with a score of 0
Very entertaining, oddly enough it feels like I'm playing Sparticus but maybe that was the point. I'm curious if the point system really affected the way the game was played
-- Kid on 2/13/2016 11:37:31 PM with a score of 0
Loved it. The arena was intense and I realise how I could have kept more of my friends alive.
-- Ben on 2/13/2016 5:48:13 PM with a score of 0
It was gripping, roller coaster ride of emotions and excellent story telling. Loved it. Recommend anyone who loves action, adventure and thriller try this.
-- Guru on 2/10/2016 8:27:31 PM with a score of 0
First i was nice to everyone and did the right thing always and the second i did nothing right and was a jerk and got the same great ending every time.
-- Liquet on 2/10/2016 8:06:55 PM with a score of 0
on 2/9/2016 5:10:22 PM with a score of 0
on 2/9/2016 4:56:35 PM with a score of 0
Enjoyable story, much to learn. Great characterization , HOWEVER sometimes too in depth. Let player imagine how character feels and thinks, rather than telling us
-- Willow on 2/9/2016 1:36:45 PM with a score of 0
It was great! I'm just disappointed that it ended as soon as it did.
-- Toebighticus on 2/8/2016 1:44:40 AM with a score of 0
Amazing view into the world of slavery. It's not finished yet though. I really wanted them to stage an escape, but the chance never came up. All of my choices were based on forging alliances for when that day finally came, but it never did. Will that be in part two?
-- April on 2/7/2016 2:46:59 AM with a score of 0
on 2/6/2016 6:26:23 AM with a score of 0
It was great!
on 2/6/2016 3:41:59 AM with a score of 0
-- Charles on 2/5/2016 11:14:14 PM with a score of 0
If you want an hour of heartwrenching, epic, cruel tragedy, plunge headfirst into The price of freedon.
-- Tan Tan on 2/5/2016 10:28:10 AM with a score of 0
I look forward to future installments!
-- Hamish on 2/5/2016 2:27:44 AM with a score of 0
-- m8 on 2/4/2016 6:11:45 PM with a score of 0
Still waiting for Part 2... anxiously awaiting the continuation of this surprisingly good story... feels like I've been waiting for years... probably have... its 2016 now.. I hope its released this year.
-- Harian96 on 2/4/2016 12:33:59 PM with a score of 0
I loved this game and I can't wait for the next installment I kept everyone alive on the first try.
on 2/2/2016 3:27:41 PM with a score of 0
This is one of the greater stories Ive come across on this website. It has a diverse cast o characters, a great setting in a believable historical scenario, and the story has been set up flawlessly for future chapters. I cant wait for more!
-- Epsilon on 2/2/2016 3:07:35 PM with a score of 0
-- lucas2207 on 2/2/2016 12:16:22 AM with a score of 0
Liked it a lot.
Keep up the good work.
on 2/1/2016 9:42:32 AM with a score of 0
Can't wait for the next one
-- Bill on 1/30/2016 5:29:50 PM with a score of 0
Very well written. You really get wrapped up in the characters. Heart wrenching and touching. It gives you a real feel for the tragedy so many have faced in our past.
-- Naarie on 1/28/2016 10:28:57 PM with a score of 0
no cursing please
-- greda on 1/28/2016 12:36:42 PM with a score of 0
Really as soon as it gets fun it is over so disappointed
on 1/28/2016 6:40:33 AM with a score of 0
Innocence lost is great. I love the approval system,earning admiration from the people around you though I'm not sure why it could be earned after the battle. Does it actually affect the story? If it doesn't then still keep it, its good to know how your actions effect others. The description was spot on, but its the strength/speed think that gets me. Even if I got as much speed as I could I still failed when it was needed, and even worse at times when I was in better condition I died
when before I lived. These two instances were saving Brasus from death and getting the sicca. I had more speed and strength the second time but I actually died. Can you fix that? But either way great job. And by the way, I don't eat Reeses Cups. Twix all the way, whoop whoop!
-- Soul Spectrum on 1/27/2016 6:25:30 PM with a score of 0
I thoroughly enjoyed this game. I thought the writing was decent and the story overall was good. While I'm not entirely sure how making friends or not affects the game, I enjoyed that aspect of it, especially if your choices in this one make a difference in how the next game plays out. While I enjoyed the strength and speed aspect of the game, and how it definitely made a difference later on in the game how certain things played out, I wish there had maybe been more attributes to fully diversify the combat. Overall though, I really liked the choices, writing, and most importantly the story, which makes it a win in my book. Thanks for a good one
on 1/27/2016 2:13:15 PM with a score of 0
It was a little short, and I spotted a single typo. ("wit" instead of "with") Other than that, a fantastic read! Looking forward to more!
on 1/27/2016 1:01:35 AM with a score of 0
Absolutely amazing! I want the other part! It was well put together and you can tell the Author put a lot of work into it. Amazing!!!!
-- Rey Ramos on 1/27/2016 12:35:18 AM with a score of 0
i like it, but make the next one longer, still, i love it.
-- aaron on 1/26/2016 11:17:35 PM with a score of 0
this was so awesome i loved it
-- hello on 1/26/2016 9:09:50 PM with a score of 0
Fantastic! Truly! I cant wait for the next one.
-- Alex ferrell on 1/25/2016 9:39:59 PM with a score of 0
Compelling and moving and full of hard choices. A wonderful story.
-- R on 1/25/2016 8:24:06 PM with a score of 0
It was an interesting story. Much better than the other one I did.
-- Zeaundra on 1/24/2016 5:49:32 PM with a score of 0
Omg this was the best choose your own adventure book I read in my life I was so amazed with the detail. Like how it started from house to gladiator arena. Right now I am a 7th grader learning about Roman Empire and this book is really fascinating please make more books like these because I'm certain that I will read them all
-- Alberto aguilar on 1/23/2016 11:45:24 AM with a score of 0
on 1/22/2016 5:37:08 PM with a score of 0
Was really well written. The approval had no purposes though.
on 1/21/2016 4:48:37 PM with a score of 0
I want of the continuation
on 1/21/2016 1:51:43 PM with a score of 0
Interesting, but I could have done without the profanity. What did it add to the story?
-- Catlyn on 1/21/2016 12:59:23 PM with a score of 0
That was amazing man. Dont ever stop
-- Sean on 1/20/2016 11:31:26 AM with a score of 0
What an incredible experience. I loved it! There's so much more I'd like to say but I don't have the time. I can't wait to see what comes after. I have to see. Nicely done, just amazing.
on 1/19/2016 10:58:07 PM with a score of 0
i apologize for my previous comment where i might hae cussed you out your story is qiute well written and the characters are very indepht cant wait till part 2
-- tony crawford on 1/19/2016 8:35:47 PM with a score of 0
this was the most exciting story I have ever read please make a sequel
-- tino on 1/19/2016 1:49:00 AM with a score of 0
I was literally blown away by this experience. A deep and rich plotline, characters that were developed to the point that I emphathized with them, and well handled subject matter all made for an addictive story. The choices in the game pulled on my emotions, forcing me to think of what was happening, and that was what made this particular game engaging. It caused me to feel something.
-- Andre' Raven on 1/18/2016 11:34:34 PM with a score of 0
This is a unique story. I like how you used approval to lay out the story. Please private message me or SOMETHING when part two comes out! I am looking forward to the next chapter.
on 1/18/2016 6:32:38 PM with a score of 0
-- Gavin on 1/18/2016 12:09:04 PM with a score of 0
The story really got to me. It's really great, and touching. Will be waiting for Part II!
on 1/17/2016 10:46:09 PM with a score of 0
Found myself getting attached to certain characters and feeling proud when receiving compliments, a great time killer!
on 1/17/2016 3:38:31 PM with a score of 0
I wish it was longer, it has the making of a great story (not that it isn't already).
on 1/16/2016 3:48:28 PM with a score of 0
This story was amazing, butt he only thing I didn't like was how Lula was rude to you after the fight. But it was still amazing. 5 stars!
-- John on 1/16/2016 3:44:28 PM with a score of 0
Man, please, PLEASE keep writing stories.
-- Alex on 1/14/2016 8:46:40 PM with a score of 0
Goddamit, this was fantastic. I loved this so much and am now so emotionally invested in the characters, only to realize this game is two years old. Where's the sequel? Is it coming? For God's sake, what happens?!?
on 1/14/2016 6:03:34 PM with a score of 0
This was seriously amazing. Please keep writing more.
-- Anonymous on 1/14/2016 5:17:28 PM with a score of 0
Very good read!
-- Isaac on 1/14/2016 6:45:55 AM with a score of 0
on 1/14/2016 12:05:37 AM with a score of 0
You worked me into tears, I hope theirs more of this story.
-- Person on 1/13/2016 3:27:50 PM with a score of 0
-- Gab on 1/13/2016 11:00:03 AM with a score of 0
Great story I'll definitely be looking forwards to another part of the story perhaps? I love how it captures the era, and how people would of acted. The only problem I have with the story is that not a lot changes with your choices. Also I wish it could of been a bit longer. Anyways there is no doubt this is a good story.
on 1/12/2016 6:14:19 PM with a score of 0
my character almost had my name. My first "choose your story" and damn. I hope I find other as good as this one. I was sooooo sad when I died and that proves how good it was
-- André on 1/12/2016 10:43:49 AM with a score of 0
As a real fan of Roman history this was a pleasant throwback to those earlier years. While some historical inaccuracies appeared I felt it was a very good introduction for those few unfamiliar to ancient slavery.
-- Constantine on 1/12/2016 3:36:25 AM with a score of 0
I dont know when this was made or posted public but my gosh this story is amazing, I wasn't expecting it to take the turns it took and I certainly hope that there is more to this and somehow that it will continue from the path I left off at. This story keeps you going its written so good! Also Alexius is such a cuite!!!
-- Quent'n Gray on 1/11/2016 11:34:43 PM with a score of 0
This hit me right in the feels man.
-- Jayson on 1/11/2016 6:18:29 PM with a score of 0
Very well written and it is clear the author put in a lot of effort. It tells a great story about events that have happened in the past.
-- Jake on 1/11/2016 3:13:08 PM with a score of 0
Really good. A bit predictable, but what good novel is never predictable at some point?
on 1/11/2016 12:36:03 PM with a score of 0
I w0n't r8 dis a perpek 5/7. 8 is much much better. For the first time, my balls were tight, cold, and sweating all at the same time while playreading your epic story. I hope to playread the sequel ASAP 'coz you touched my tralala!
on 1/11/2016 10:48:25 AM with a score of 0
Wonderful. Thanks for this, I need the next part !
on 1/11/2016 9:35:36 AM with a score of 0
Great! Please continue the story. What will happen to them?
-- Claudius on 1/11/2016 6:25:16 AM with a score of 0
Good experience to read, interesting with choices that could end you up dead.
on 1/11/2016 5:22:29 AM with a score of 0
Very well written, though a bit short. The story line is a bit too linear for my taste. The interactions with the NPCs are nice. Excited for the sequences
-- Dkoychev on 1/10/2016 10:31:26 PM with a score of 0
pretty god damn great
-- joseph on 1/10/2016 5:30:07 PM with a score of 0
Finished it, didn't expect it to be an hour short, but it was a damn fine read and an even better experience.
-- Dice on 1/10/2016 3:48:37 PM with a score of 0
My first story i read on this site and it was great. Not sure what to say but it was an enjoyable read. Thank you very much.
-- Jayden on 1/10/2016 4:49:40 AM with a score of 0
I actually felt the way our protagonist did throughout the thing... well done, except for the needless cruelty of dying if you take the beating for Alexius :) Good stuff.
-- Jason on 1/10/2016 4:26:47 AM with a score of 0
This is the first story I've read on this site and I'm hooked. It was extremely immersive and I loved every line of it. I'll be sharing this with my friends and searching for the sequel if there is one.
-- Ben on 1/10/2016 3:07:36 AM with a score of 0
Absolutely incredibly fantastic.
I feel like I just read a novel! Very well written and very endearing.
on 1/10/2016 12:56:12 AM with a score of 0
-- anee on 1/10/2016 12:10:47 AM with a score of 0
Blew me away! I need more!
-- Mindshrieker on 1/9/2016 8:28:51 PM with a score of 0
thoroughly enjoyed it. keep up the good work!
-- Yasin on 1/9/2016 7:40:58 PM with a score of 0
This was the first story I've done on this site, and you've got me hooked. As it looks like you're setting up a series, I'm excited to see what else is in store.
-- Tom on 1/9/2016 6:03:42 PM with a score of 0
I really enjoyed it.
-- Andrew on 1/9/2016 2:49:57 PM with a score of 0
Sooooo addictively good. I need more!!! T.T plz.
-- Asdfghk on 1/9/2016 2:26:35 PM with a score of 0
I decided to get whipped instead of Alexius for that bastards Septimus's toy, but that 10 speed and 10 strenght I lost were my downfall in the 1st arena. Loved it from start to finish. Even if it was a short journey for me
-- Dice on 1/9/2016 12:43:39 PM with a score of 0
So much fun and glad for the no go backs or hand holding. Makes decisions more weighty !
-- Mike on 1/9/2016 12:32:30 PM with a score of 0
-- manyx on 1/9/2016 12:12:29 PM with a score of 0
the feels :(
idk i died in the final fight bc i was too weak wish i trained...
-- omgthisgame on 1/9/2016 12:08:26 PM with a score of 0
Awesome, thanks for that
-- Poopyhead on 1/9/2016 11:47:54 AM with a score of 0
I loved it! From the very beginning I actually felt like I was Andreas. Keep up the good work!
-- Durodo on 1/9/2016 11:30:55 AM with a score of 0
It's a bit predictable and the writing is amateurish, but it was fairly entertaining. I'll play the next ones. Thank you for making them.
-- Mario on 1/9/2016 10:59:44 AM with a score of 0
has got potential, but short
-- abc on 1/9/2016 9:53:19 AM with a score of 0
Great story, waiting for the rest!
-- DaLoneWulf on 1/9/2016 6:46:35 AM with a score of 0
Pretty well written. I felt like I was in the arena
-- PK on 1/9/2016 6:46:24 AM with a score of 0
:') t'was beautiful
The only thing that really pissed me off was that the story actually ended :'|
Now i have this hollow feeling in my heart mingled with an existential crisis, thanks bruv...
on 1/9/2016 6:28:20 AM with a score of 0
on 1/9/2016 6:08:38 AM with a score of 0
This is my first storygame on this site. Engrossing and an easy read. Anticipating a sequel!
on 1/9/2016 5:09:36 AM with a score of 0
It was pretty good and entertaining
-- Penis on 1/9/2016 4:51:49 AM with a score of 0
Loved it! Got stuck for a bit, but I enjoyed the story. I hope there's more.
-- Hi on 1/9/2016 4:36:40 AM with a score of 0
it was great can't wait for the next one
on 1/9/2016 4:28:00 AM with a score of 0
I WANT PART TWO
-- Athena on 1/9/2016 4:12:23 AM with a score of 0
I was suprised as I'm a newbie to this sort of stuff. I've always been interested in the Romans and all that, but I have NEVER thought about a CYOA in Rome. The writing and characters were also very immersive and diverse. Thank you for the time (and pain oh my god i can only imagine the pain from typing all this ;-;) and effort you put into this masterpiece. I'll def be playing this again soon.
-- Karl Marx on 1/9/2016 3:56:49 AM with a score of 0
Pretty Good, can't wait for the next one.
-- Sherbert on 1/9/2016 3:47:20 AM with a score of 0
Stumbled on this; worth the try. Great story.
-- Tyler on 1/9/2016 3:45:46 AM with a score of 0
Really loved this!! On to the second part :)
-- Anderson on 1/9/2016 2:54:13 AM with a score of 0
When there be a sequel were they get free?
on 1/9/2016 12:07:40 AM with a score of 0
Great story, I can't wait for the next installment!
-- Robert on 1/8/2016 12:12:16 AM with a score of 0
Brilliant. A great game through and through. I began to care for mutiple characters. Please make a new one!
on 1/7/2016 10:09:30 PM with a score of 0
on 1/7/2016 4:25:09 PM with a score of 0
This was overall a great storygame. It didn't overdo variables but used enough of them to make it seem like your choices meant something. I do hope this trilogy will continue!
on 1/4/2016 6:03:40 PM with a score of 0
i got everyone killed and it was horrible im not really sure what happend was i the emperor or what very confusing no double xp at all 0/5 im going back to COD
-- devin on 1/4/2016 11:21:00 AM with a score of 0
Two thumbs up!
on 1/3/2016 4:53:31 PM with a score of 0
It's pretty good!
I've played it over 11 times! (I stopped counting after 11)
-- itiosolis on 1/3/2016 4:40:02 PM with a score of 0
The story and diction really made you experience life as a gladiator. The imagery also brought you back to a time when boys and girls were bought and sold as slaves just to provide entertainment to rich and wealthy people.
on 1/3/2016 7:22:56 AM with a score of 0
This story was awesome I felt in control and i got really emotional over the choices I made you it epic you made it entertaining you made it interactive you made it a success
Eternal and this are the best I've seen on this site!!!!!!!!! THANKS FOR MAKING THIS
-- HMAN on 1/2/2016 2:35:56 PM with a score of 0
fun, when is part two coming out?
does he get with the girl?
-- some random dude on 12/29/2015 12:34:21 AM with a score of 0
omg this was so good,hope there is more in the future!
-- Luna on 12/27/2015 9:48:21 PM with a score of 0
I thoroughly enjoyed the story and found some decisions very hard to make. That being said once you do make your decision, the favor you gain or earn does not seem to have any affect on the actual outcome of the story.
-- John on 12/24/2015 11:43:13 PM with a score of 0
Great read, and despite the fact that its going to be a series i still feel its to short.
-- Billy on 12/24/2015 3:32:11 PM with a score of 0
This was my first "choose your story" and I loved it! The writing was done so well it played like a movie in my head. The choices were very well thought out it seemed like a lot of thought was put into this. I just wish it could have been longer or slightly more complicated in terms of little details of the childs life. Either way though, it was excellent!
on 12/23/2015 1:05:03 PM with a score of 0
So fricken good, please make more and make it longer pleassseeeee!!! This kept me up till 3 am
on 12/23/2015 5:11:26 AM with a score of 0
A beautiful game. In some ways, it's one of the best. It blends a hard world with easy to remember characters, leaving each of them one to remember.
-- Name on 12/22/2015 11:40:22 AM with a score of 0
It was awesome i don't know if there is a second but when and if there is i bet it will be perfect.
-- jason on 12/21/2015 1:14:54 AM with a score of 0
it is really excellent and full of adventure.
on 12/20/2015 9:08:47 AM with a score of 0
Great first impressions about this website, looking forward to more awesome games
on 12/20/2015 12:01:15 AM with a score of 0
Great game. I hope there will be a second part.
-- Raven on 12/19/2015 8:27:09 PM with a score of 0
You really did your research in this one, good story too although I would like to know the exact time period this takes place in
-- Nyxantius on 12/18/2015 1:02:31 PM with a score of 0
i think it was a fantastic piece of work and you should make another one thats ten years later in the future
-- bailey on 12/18/2015 10:19:48 AM with a score of 0
WHAT IT CANT END SO ABRUPTLY I NEED A CHAPTER TWO NO.
on 12/17/2015 8:58:48 PM with a score of 0
great story to play through, touching and inspirational. looking forward to the sequel.
on 12/16/2015 10:59:26 PM with a score of 0
very good, looking forward to the sequel.
-- wisdom on 12/16/2015 3:21:47 AM with a score of 0
awesome! now to read the walthrough for how to save gerda!
-- rook on 12/15/2015 12:27:10 PM with a score of 0
it was great tho i really think that you should make a option
where you can save both zeru and gerda like warning them.other than that awsome:] i think you should make a book
on how ou wouldve puy the ansers.
-- Vale on 12/13/2015 4:28:18 PM with a score of 0
I'm curious what the purpose of the approval rating system is? Is it just for effect, or does it actually determine how events unfold later?
An excellently written story that was very engaging and fun to play through. The characters were well-written and we actually felt like we were part of the action. Some of the choices were very difficult to make!
-- Delilah & Andrew on 12/13/2015 1:18:48 AM with a score of 0
I think it was near perfect. I haven't played such a good storygame since COG's (J. Leigh's) Way Walkers. My only complaint, and this is my complaint for everything I love, is that it was a little too short. Aside from that, like I said, it was near perfect. Thank you for creating this. I can't wait to see more.
on 12/12/2015 5:37:32 PM with a score of 0
Wonderful. A beautifully crafted, well-written story with an engaging plot and interesting charactes, and on top of that, it was historically accurate. I can't wait to play the next one.
-- PlaguePandemic on 12/11/2015 2:12:22 AM with a score of 0
Enjoyed every second, keep up the good work and i cant wait to read the rest
-- Ryan on 12/10/2015 7:58:57 AM with a score of 0
I cant wait to read the second story to his in his teenage years and i hope you wore just as hard as you did on this one because it was amazing and im interested to see how you do it.
on 12/9/2015 11:45:11 PM with a score of 0
This game is just awesome c; One of the best I've played.
on 12/9/2015 3:58:10 PM with a score of 0
Fucking loved it :D
-- yup on 12/8/2015 9:17:11 PM with a score of 0
Probably one of the best stories I have read. really nice, great plot, consistant, just overall well done.
on 12/8/2015 5:00:59 PM with a score of 0
This was enjoyable to play through and explore, definitely worth your time, but it has a number of flaws. There are...a number of historical inaccuracies and general issues with the depiction of black people at certain points. The author seems to know little about Ethiopian culture of the period. Namely teeth sharpening isn't a traditionally ethiopian practice, depending on the exact period traditional ethiopian clothing would have included a bit more than a loin cloth for most slaves unless they were prisoners of war. Ethiopians, and many east Africans and later in history west africans were regarded as some of the most pious and wise peoples. This story seems to lean towards more modern perceptions of Africans intentionally and not. At a particular point the author, apparently not knowing how Ethiops were viewed, has characters discuss how the two greek boys are more useful and intelligent because of their build (and kind of implies because they're greek versus cheaper African slaves). Ethiopians to the eyes of the greeks and Romans would potentially be viewed as both physically attractive, capable, and wise. Also keep in mind Ethiopians, west Africans, and Africans from the areas of Kenya were all viewed differently. Going with that same vein Zeru not learning language at all kind of sits wrong with me. The story does these sort of...micro mini subconsciously gross things with black characters that lean towards modern stereotypes, which I wasn't looking for, but consistently kept rubbing me the wrong way. Lulu's broken latin, Zeru not being able to understand anyone despite spending months with them, Lulu being "bossy" and "aggressive" and then being kind of a mammy/mother figure. Worse we get all this description of the slave owners daughter and very little of Lulu(is that name ethipian inspired?) that isn't about a trait useful to the main character or that feels just like an obersation. That being said there is little of Gerda too, which makes the Master's daughter's physical description kind of cringing, more on that later. In regards to what I noted with black characters, these on their own aren't bad traits, but lumped together they are the sort of thing that make me as a black person kind of roll my eyes because they aren't intentional, but they are there. These sort of characteristics really make the historical believableness as well as the general characterization a turn off. That being said I still enjoyed it, but not as much as I could have.
Further some of the dialogue and situations towards the beginning and throughout constantly remind me of other stories I've read. None of the character voices are really strong. I love Rhode. She was strong and present, but also devoted to doing her job and doing it well not just out of maternal kindness, but for her own survival. Women in this game are depicted alongside the men very evenly, and I think it works too because of the sort of "novelty" of a female gladiator and teacher. It kind of highlights the personality of who owns them. That being said Septimus is a lazily written character. He's just a jerk, and he's the sort of jerk that is ALWAYS in these sort of stories. It made making choices easier, but I would have appreciated more of a twist in his character. I hate that whole "the sister is so nice, but her brother is soooo mean" thing with love interests. It's just over done and, as is the case here, you don't see why he's mean or why she's nice. It just is, so they feel like cliche characters. Back to the whole fact Caeclia, the master's daughter, feels cliche it is in part because for no apparent reason she becomes the love interest. Suddenly we get this whole description of her that is pretty generic love interest description. What makes it stand out is no other female is described that way. The protagonist has more reason to be emotionally attracted to Lulu or even Gerda than her. It's just very cliche. That bothered me almost as much as the weirdness surrounding black characters.
I enjoyed Rhod, I actually liked the option of including Zeru in play. It was very sweet. The bond between Alexius and Andreas is very endearing. I much preferred those at the very start of the story, but that's only because you see more of it before everyone else shows up and the story gets going. Further I loved recounting the protagonist's story for the Master's daughter. The descriptions of feeling were very poignant to me.
Overall I enjoyed the story and it is gripping, hence why I am giving such a detailed review. It is a disservice to the author to just leave a glowing review with no real comment. I definetly wanted to comment on the historical side of how ethiopians were viewed by Romans and Greeks because that sort of inaccuracy is assumed to be correct(ie all of Africa except ancient Egypt is exactly the same despite Ethiopia and that whole region occasionally taking over Egypt and surrounding region[ kingdom of kush side note depending on period Ethiop and Ethiopian would be newer terms meaning burnt skinned people and they themselves would refer to themselves as something else]).
Enjoyed the text.
on 12/8/2015 3:34:16 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good and intriguing; pictures and interactive material might have been better.
-- Avatar on 12/7/2015 3:16:44 PM with a score of 0
MORE! MORE PLEASE!
on 12/6/2015 8:08:46 PM with a score of 0
This story is most touching and exciting! Thank you so much!
-- Korx on 12/6/2015 2:10:47 PM with a score of 0
Actually pretty cool.
-- Donald McMuffin on 12/4/2015 5:51:17 PM with a score of 0
This was a really good story that was well written.
on 12/4/2015 5:44:12 PM with a score of 0
Amazing! I love it!
on 12/4/2015 5:20:54 PM with a score of 0
Wonderful sense of atmosphere. A few grammatical errors here and there, but it was a lovely adventure. Though the main protagonist is rather very lucky isn't he? (I felt OP as hell LOL )
-- Xiovi on 11/27/2015 5:03:36 AM with a score of 0
Wow. The choices of this story were amazing! It really gave me a sense of moral and justice in the story. I had to use different strategies in order to survive as a slave as well as a gladiator! The story has quite a lot of meaning to it and gave a lot of meaning to it. It was very well written, detailed and no errors in communication. I really would like it to continue when it has the chance, because you can't leave a story with so much potential like that! Anyway 7/8 Loved it and I think you did a perfect job on it :) Thank you.
on 11/17/2015 5:10:44 AM with a score of 0
-- Liz on 11/15/2015 4:25:37 PM with a score of 0
Strong character, no person A or person B, forced the reader to make an unseemly decision to survive and good grammar as far as I can tell. Good job
on 11/12/2015 10:46:30 AM with a score of 0
I absolutely love this!! I finished it in under 20 minutes it was that good.
on 11/8/2015 4:08:27 PM with a score of 0
An entertaining story. 10 out of 10 would read again. I'll be sure to keep checking for the next part!
-- Luke on 11/4/2015 9:32:33 AM with a score of 0
Nothing short of extradoniary.
on 11/3/2015 9:07:27 PM with a score of 0
Absolutely amazing,can't wait for more
-- Jake on 11/3/2015 1:28:47 PM with a score of 0
have you thought about doing this as a profession? i would pay to play or read something like this, thank you for this experience
-- girasol on 10/29/2015 11:42:28 PM with a score of 0
I'm a sucker for all things Roman, so I may very well be biased. However, the characterisation and pacing of this story are so well done i simply could not wait to find out what happens next.
on 10/27/2015 2:22:26 AM with a score of 0
This is great. It reminded me of my beloved Choice of Games. I enjoyed the subtle ways in which you added depth to each character even though they were mostly children.
on 10/26/2015 12:48:51 AM with a score of 0
Almost totally accurate historically: something this Latin teacher appreciates. I'd love it if it were longer; the story is a great start, but I'd love to play the whole story here!
on 10/22/2015 6:04:51 PM with a score of 0
A beautiful piece of work. I love how you can create your own personality. In some story games you want your you want character to be kind or funny or something like that, but you can't because of the way the author styled the story. In this story game you can decide if you are rebellious or passive, kind or mean, and it's your choice on how you help people.
I only have one question for you. How many endings are there?
-- BossLibrarian123 on 10/21/2015 7:11:46 PM with a score of 0
Can't wait for the rest. Well done and insightful. I particulary like the approval / disapproval depending on choices.
on 10/21/2015 6:23:23 PM with a score of 0
Waiting for the rest......
on 10/21/2015 4:58:25 AM with a score of 0
This was a really good story. It ended sooner than I thought it would, but I hope you'll keep working on it. I liked trying to be as good as I could, being a gladiator. If nothing else, it feels like my own little rebellion, not letting them turn me into some kind of animal.
on 10/19/2015 1:43:31 PM with a score of 0
God damn I loved this. I made it out with everyone alive, which was great because you did so well shaping each character I would've hated for anyone to die! The writing was beautiful, the story was absolutely engaging, and I absolutely CAN'T wait for the next addition to the series to be released. Unless it has already? I'm going to check. Anyway, loved this, love you for writing, love love love. Love.
on 9/9/2015 10:59:38 PM with a score of 0
I liked it!!!!!!!!!!
on 9/9/2015 1:48:57 PM with a score of 0
on 9/7/2015 1:28:07 PM with a score of 0
Really good story that makes you interested from the beginning! Definitely recommend it 8/8..
-- Maria on 9/6/2015 12:17:54 AM with a score of 0
I managed to survive with everyone except Brasus and Gerda. This is a depressing story.
on 8/30/2015 8:49:52 PM with a score of 0
Ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhh So Freaking Good!
on 8/29/2015 8:52:14 AM with a score of 0
So far, this was the best game i have played on this site.
That's all I have to say.
on 8/20/2015 6:57:58 PM with a score of 0
Quite a sad story, but @ least it's not one where everyone ends up dying in the end. Shakespeare, anyone?
-- Ross on 8/15/2015 11:09:01 PM with a score of 0
This story was awesome, maybe not the longest, but it had a meaningful cast of characters and hard choices to make. I would recommend this to just about anyone, unless they hated reading, at which point they wouldn't be here anyways
-- Jake on 7/28/2015 12:53:10 PM with a score of 0
TOO FREAKING SHORT!....
I luv dis.
on 7/23/2015 6:49:32 AM with a score of 0
on 7/19/2015 8:05:26 PM with a score of 0
One of the best games.. please realease second part., want to play more it shouLd me endless games :)
on 7/18/2015 2:40:51 PM with a score of 0
It is very good. This is good reference for my book. Thank you!
-- Simon on 7/6/2015 12:11:48 PM with a score of 0
A very solid foundation to build a story off of. I look forward to future installments where I can watch my investments in this game pay off!
on 7/3/2015 12:59:36 AM with a score of 0
Rome is full of messed up things... :(
on 6/21/2015 11:55:21 PM with a score of 0
I really loved this game a lot!. I loved the choice making and the story and well.. everything!.
-- X-files on 6/8/2015 5:19:26 PM with a score of 0
Loved it wish it was longer
-- Chris on 6/4/2015 4:54:03 PM with a score of 0
You know it's a really great story you're reading when you simply do not wish to see the end game and comments link. And that was how I felt as I read this. I just didn't want it to end!
This is the first story ive rated 8 here. And rightfully so because this is a masterpiece. An epic.
on 6/3/2015 1:16:26 PM with a score of 0
man you need to continue this. its a great piece of story and I want more.
-- anthony on 6/2/2015 12:43:35 PM with a score of 0
Wow, that was fantastic.
on 6/1/2015 2:56:21 PM with a score of 0
is there another chapter?
on 5/29/2015 11:16:14 AM with a score of 0
Lots of sequels please
-- JD on 5/25/2015 12:35:53 PM with a score of 0
This was fantastic! Definitely in my top 3.
on 5/20/2015 9:09:52 AM with a score of 0
So wonderful plz let me know when the second comes out
on 5/20/2015 7:18:33 AM with a score of 0
Loved the storyline
on 5/17/2015 5:17:20 PM with a score of 0
I'm a big fan of roman history and this short story was indeed a refreshing time-killer. Waiting for the second part ;).
-- Danius on 5/9/2015 3:57:16 PM with a score of 0
A deal breaker in all stories (even game stories) is a weak hero (or heroine) but this game kept its deal to me. The main caricature was great (you even get to change his personality a bit) and because of that the whole story was great.
on 5/8/2015 1:49:18 AM with a score of 0
Please hurry up and come out with more of these!!!
on 5/4/2015 12:13:25 PM with a score of 0
Great story. Hoping for more.
on 4/26/2015 8:01:02 PM with a score of 0
Really great story! I loved it!
on 4/26/2015 6:36:48 PM with a score of 0
I really enjoyed this. Great job. I kinda wish that the choices I was presented with had more of an effect on the story though. 7/8
on 4/22/2015 9:25:40 PM with a score of 0
That was amazing! I loved it so much. I'm curious though as to how you're going to make the choices in the first game carry into the second. Like at the end when you pick who dies… one character doesn't go on… but different people chose different things, so how that'll work I don't know. Anyway, it was awesome. The writing was good, characters unique and they all felt real and human. It's very immersive and I found myself really really caring about the decisions I made. The approval system was an interesting concept, but I kept fighting for everyone's approval… except septimus (he's a jerk). Keep up the good work and work on the sequel until you have carpel tunnel.
on 4/22/2015 2:29:54 AM with a score of 0
I was hoping for a slightly longer story. but it was definitely good none-the-less
on 4/13/2015 5:01:00 AM with a score of 0
it was good, nice writing and only a few spelling mistakes. It really felt as though it was through a child's eyes and not an adult trying to make you see through a child's eyes. Would have given it a higher rating had it had more choices instead of just one choice to click. I'm all about the choices as much as possible in a choose your own story. but very well done, I would recommend it
on 4/11/2015 3:14:04 PM with a score of 0
Well written, interesting and dinamic.
Not sure if all those character traits actually have an effect on the story, but at least they give the impression that at some point they will.
Looking forward to the second part.
on 4/3/2015 12:08:12 PM with a score of 0
This was very well done, it brings the harsh realities of being a slave to the forefront and does not let up, even in the happiest of times.
I give it as high a rating as I feel it deserves, its not exactly the highest of high, that would go to Ground Zero and the like, it stands tall amongst other storygames.
on 4/2/2015 6:13:13 PM with a score of 0
-- nigr on 3/24/2015 10:11:29 PM with a score of 0
This is such a great story. I read it over and over, because I can't get enough. I can't wait until the next story.
-- Drake on 3/21/2015 5:40:34 AM with a score of 0
11/10 Perfect cant wait for more really enjoyed it keep it up you have talent in writing
-- ExCaliber on 3/17/2015 6:58:36 PM with a score of 0
This is one of the best gladiator story games I have ever played. And I mean it too. I really hope the author continues with this, it would be sooo epic.
-- Guest on 3/17/2015 1:36:34 AM with a score of 0
It is an really amazing story I wish I could read more but is is really an amazing story a brother trying to protect his other brother,the friendships and everything in this story is amazing a life without your parents at such a small age is very difficult and you have to stay alive for your brother you can't even try to kill yourself......???????????? god if my brother was going to see me kill people in front of his own eyes then I will think what that makes me? What kind of sister that makes me? Because of me,my brother has to pick up the weapon and hit somebody I would never forgive myself but what other choice did he have to save me,but honestly this story is one of the best stories I have ever read.Good job??????
-- Shrdha Lalwani on 3/14/2015 1:51:53 PM with a score of 0
I'm at loss of words, it was just too awesome.
-- Andras on 3/14/2015 1:20:37 AM with a score of 0
very good story, very emotionally intense and involving, really hoping to see this continued.
on 3/11/2015 3:11:03 AM with a score of 0
Good start. Looking forward to the rest.
on 3/8/2015 12:33:44 PM with a score of 0
Haha I finally beat it and made the right choices keeping everyone alive also thank you for the advice.
on 3/3/2015 2:19:02 PM with a score of 0
need more. good choices
on 2/28/2015 6:46:15 PM with a score of 0
Fantastic eagerly awaiting the next chapter. Keep up the good work
on 2/26/2015 6:03:31 AM with a score of 0
Very good unluckily I had the problem of trying to keep everyone alive and I couldn't find a way to do that so it has some difficulty but was good all around.
on 2/23/2015 2:00:38 PM with a score of 0
Freakin Amazing. I want MORE!!!!
on 2/23/2015 12:13:25 AM with a score of 0
Intense, emotional, and all around full of awe.
on 2/17/2015 5:48:47 PM with a score of 0
Very nice game. If only in could have lasted longer and given me even more choices, with more dramatic consequences... Really looking forward to the next installment. Congrats to the author !
on 2/15/2015 7:47:58 PM with a score of 0
Huh, this was cool.
on 2/11/2015 4:30:25 PM with a score of 0
on 2/6/2015 6:08:49 PM with a score of 0
Ten out of ten. I love it!
And the walkthrough is a big plus!
-- sabershiro on 2/4/2015 11:19:34 AM with a score of 0
Really engaging. Well done.
on 1/23/2015 8:47:12 PM with a score of 0
Cool and epic, though very dramatic and gorey. That;s not a bad thing when it comes to this, though. :P
on 1/20/2015 6:59:36 PM with a score of 0
Brilliant game! I'm surprised it hasn't gotten the attention it deserves. TPoF has realistic world-building, multidimensional characterisation, and plot - the whole trifecta.
Confidently recommended. 8/8
on 1/17/2015 10:47:17 PM with a score of 0
played the game at least 20 times...
on 1/13/2015 6:14:01 AM with a score of 0
Amazing story line!
-- Charles Mercieca on 1/12/2015 11:38:37 AM with a score of 0
I really enjoyed this story, and I can't wait for the next one.
-- ____ on 1/7/2015 6:49:14 PM with a score of 0
Great story. can't wait to play part 2.
on 1/2/2015 5:53:31 PM with a score of 0
wow… thats all that can be said
-- abigail on 1/2/2015 12:06:02 AM with a score of 0
Can't wait to read part two.
on 1/1/2015 7:26:57 AM with a score of 0
really liked it...great story
on 12/31/2014 5:44:11 PM with a score of 0
on 12/27/2014 10:16:41 PM with a score of 0
The writing was really good! The characters really well-rounded. The options an consequences consistent.Best chooseyourstory I've played. Can't wait to play the next ones
-- Esther on 12/14/2014 12:17:48 AM with a score of 0
on 12/6/2014 6:40:58 PM with a score of 0
I am left starving for more
I give it:
Trojan horse out of 10
on 12/6/2014 2:49:08 PM with a score of 0
Died in my first arena fight. ): Nice story.
on 11/28/2014 2:01:19 PM with a score of 0
This was absolutely amazing.
on 11/26/2014 8:37:24 PM with a score of 0
Please make a continuation
-- anthony on 11/25/2014 6:36:28 PM with a score of 0
well this is certainly one og the best story here.With lots of options, well written story and all.
on 11/24/2014 8:12:38 PM with a score of 0
A really well written and well made game. I really felt invested in the characters and the setting was great. I really hope you continue the game, personaly I would love to see it continued as the same game and not break it into 2 or more games. It would allow for a greater immersion into the game, sort of like Eternal.
Regardless a great story, keep up the good work.
on 11/23/2014 8:47:54 PM with a score of 0
on 11/19/2014 1:25:37 AM with a score of 0
Can't wait for more
on 11/18/2014 11:16:13 AM with a score of 0
Wow. The depth and quality of this literary piece is pretty much professional. Highly recommended if you are looking for a brilliant read.
on 11/17/2014 5:11:43 AM with a score of 0
great game loved it
on 11/16/2014 4:12:25 PM with a score of 0
nicely done..looking forward for the sequel^^
on 11/16/2014 6:56:05 AM with a score of 0
Verry nice game! I can tell that this worked hard on and it seems to have paid off. I can't wait to see your next game. Shinobi
on 11/12/2014 12:53:01 PM with a score of 0
AGGGH!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR A SEQUEL!!! This... is amazing!!
on 11/9/2014 7:25:52 PM with a score of 0
Great story, I've played it countless times.
-- Silverflame on 11/2/2014 6:14:11 PM with a score of 0
Good story telling ,realistic choises.Very well short story-game.I have a younger brother which we grew together in kind of a tough enviroment , your story made me remember these days.If you will continiue the story , you have to leave a path to keep both brothers alive too.Cheers !
-- Mahmut on 10/27/2014 5:24:05 PM with a score of 0
Very very well written with great RPG elements. My only complaint is that it was too short, but luckily there are two more installments.
on 10/26/2014 12:05:45 PM with a score of 0
good story, cant wait for next episode
-- troy on 10/15/2014 5:34:03 PM with a score of 0
Great story, great branches, and great gameplay. Only a few grammatical errors that didn't take away from the game. 8/8.
on 10/15/2014 5:19:32 PM with a score of 0
Well thought out and organized story. Fun to read and play more than once.
on 10/14/2014 4:21:14 PM with a score of 0
Usually I think most games can be improved, but this game is actually AMAZING. Seriously, I could not stop playing it. I hope you'll have a sequel to this done soon.
P.S. No pressure mate, I just really like it, so don't be stressed because I want the sequel to be done.
-- Alex on 10/14/2014 3:13:17 PM with a score of 0
on 10/14/2014 12:01:45 PM with a score of 0
One of the best games on this site I've played. I am really looking forward to the rest of the series.
on 10/12/2014 10:24:35 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good. Historically inaccurate, but good.
-- Biscuits on 10/8/2014 3:09:10 AM with a score of 0
I cannot remember how long was it when I wasn't able to pry myself from my PC. This is an amazing piece of literature because when I was playing it, it was feeling as if I am the main character of the story.
Amazing, truly breath-taking! Words very few have heard uttered from me.
Keep up the good work.
-- Usman M. Nooruddin on 10/6/2014 2:45:35 PM with a score of 0
I really liked the story,though I didn't get to see all of it due to my untimely death. But I would have liked to be able to keep track of my stats. I could see no way of looking at my approval or my strength and speed. If there isn't one then I think there should be and if there is I couldn't find it so maybe it should be more obvious.
All in all a great game. Good job!
-- Lurklen on 10/5/2014 1:06:17 AM with a score of 0
Wow, Briar! Excellent storygame. I can't believe I missed out on this beauty for so long. Really nicely written, touching, and very story driven but still gamey. A great example for others.
Kudos to you for writing a linear storygame with a lot of replayability. By linear, I mean that the basic plot will be pretty similar no matter your choices, but I don't mean it as a criticism. On the contrary, I think this storygame does a great job of portraying the life of a slave, where no matter your choices most things happen the same way, but you can make a small difference through your actions. Your choices can give a very different feel and mood to the story but the sequence of events always flows very smoothly and makes sense, and that is a great accomplishment.
I love your approval points idea, which works well with the rest of the storygame. I really liked when you had choices that would raise approval with one character but lowers it with another. You can't always please everyone. Working out how to keep everyone alive was also good fun.
One snag with the points is that the game doesn't show you your current approval points and stats, which would be a nice touch.
This storygame does have typos from time to time, but it doesn't distract too much from the experience. Pretty much all storygames on this website, from the best (like this one) to the worst, have writing errors anyway.
Amazing read, amazing game. It's nice to see such a kickass lengthy story outside of the strongest genres. I'm looking forward to the next Price of Freedom storygame.
on 10/4/2014 2:09:27 PM with a score of 0
-- ?? on 10/2/2014 10:52:35 PM with a score of 0
This thing gave me the feels, man. It's not a terribly original plot, but it's execution and interactive format made it much more emotionally involved than any other similar story i have experienced. The only complaint I have is that there isn't more of it.
-- Austin Merida on 10/2/2014 8:44:59 PM with a score of 0
Really great so far, can't wait to read more.
on 10/2/2014 3:26:14 PM with a score of 0
Definently a good storyline deserving of a good ending. :)
-- Steven on 10/2/2014 1:49:17 PM with a score of 0
I think the story is well done and puts the reader in a lot of difficult situations. It is really interesting to take those moral descisions and to see their effect.
But I did not see the point in the approval, or the strenght and speed system. Somehow everyone pretty much despised my charakter in the end despite having accumulated a large score of points. I also only have been able to win the final battle by giving the charm to others. (tried about 5 times with max speed/strenght).
-- Sangros on 10/2/2014 1:39:38 PM with a score of 0
GREP IS VERY PLEASED
-- Grep on 10/2/2014 12:13:26 PM with a score of 0
This was fantastic, I really enjoyed the clarity and detail of the prose an the choices felt consequential.
-- Toni M on 10/2/2014 8:37:19 AM with a score of 0
Really, really good. Want more please. Highly recommended
-- Matt on 10/2/2014 8:31:20 AM with a score of 0
Great story. Very gripping and well written. Makes you think.
Keep up the good work!
-- Stefaan on 10/2/2014 7:48:42 AM with a score of 0
Prose, story and characters were good and believable; choices smart, varied and satisfying.
Only nitpick would be that "Alexius" is the latinized version of "Alexios/Alexis", so maybe the latter would have been a better choice.
Overall, it was an awesome read. Can't wait for the next installment.
on 10/2/2014 7:43:43 AM with a score of 0
Very interesting and heartfelt story, only thing i can say is you put defiantly instead of definitely at one point.
But very good so thankyou!
-- Alex on 10/2/2014 7:14:59 AM with a score of 0
Well, I read through this once, and I intend for it to stay that way. I skipped all the pages until I died and decided to write this review.
Let me start off by saying that the character development is rather strong, but I feel that the romance between the main character and Caecilia was a little rushed, but still kind of enjoyable. One of the best parts is that the game is like a game by Telltale Games. You have choices, but none lead to different paths. Instead, the characters will give you more or less respect because of what you did.
The story is excellently written with little to no grammar mistakes on the pages. It was enjoyable, with myself wondering, "What will happen next?" the first time I read it, but overall loses replay value unless you plan on doing something different the next playthrough.
So far, this storygame is looking good. When the next chapter rolls around, I'll be sure to read it. And I know that I'll enjoy it. 8/8.
on 9/30/2014 9:14:43 PM with a score of 0
I've only recently gotten into story games, but so far this is hands down the best one I've played! ^_^
I love the story and how attached I became to many of the characters. I even love those hair-pulling moments where I can't decide what path I should choose. All in all, brilliant. Can't wait for the next installment!
P.S. if anything happens to Lula or Alexius I'm going to cry... A lot...
on 9/25/2014 12:56:08 AM with a score of 0
-- . on 9/19/2014 5:46:04 PM with a score of 0
I was so immersed in the story, making every and each one of the decisions with a lot of thought. This game gives you the perspective.
on 9/19/2014 5:04:31 PM with a score of 0
I guess I am not really good at making useful criticism.
I'll tell you at least that I loved your story and hope to see more of it.
on 9/13/2014 7:06:58 PM with a score of 0
Great story, I wish it were longer! I had a hard time figuring out how my points with each character effected the storyline, but I guess that means it was written seamlessly. Fabulous job.
on 9/13/2014 12:24:04 AM with a score of 0
i like this i hope the sequl come out soon
-- the house master on 9/12/2014 5:27:57 PM with a score of 0
I love everything about this! But maybe add more action? Or at least more choices in the battles. Also, I didn't really feel too attached to Gerda, so I didn't really care to let her die.
on 9/11/2014 7:15:13 PM with a score of 0
on 9/8/2014 2:23:02 PM with a score of 0
dude this game is awesome
-- royaldemo69 on 9/2/2014 9:44:10 PM with a score of 0
Very good story
on 8/22/2014 2:08:05 PM with a score of 0
Oh... My... God! That was the BEST story I think i've ever read! please for the love of god do more! I can't wait t say what it's like when the team is older! This story has me completely enveloped in it, I really felt like I was Andreas... I have so many good things to say and not a single bad thing, all can think of is literally begging you to do more! I'm in love with this story and if I don't see a sequel I fear i'll never die a happy man! (Maybe a slight exaggeration, but PLEASE do more!)
-- anony on 8/18/2014 12:23:14 PM with a score of 0
I was in tears by the end of the story. The details, the feels, the characters; all perfect. ;_; I feel for Titus' daughter. Hard, I must say. Great story and good luck on any and all future work.
-- Kitt on 8/6/2014 10:00:31 PM with a score of 0
Absolutely brilliant, can't wait for a sequel!
on 7/31/2014 11:12:15 PM with a score of 0
Mind boggling... doesn't go in for cheap over-sexualization like most storygames of it's rating. Great writing, flawless grammar, engaging system. Oh yeah, and it wasn't ridiculously hard. I love it.
on 7/24/2014 8:21:04 PM with a score of 0
Very good storygame. I loved the atmosphere, but thought the fight at the end could've been more in-depth (maybe the use of items would help). All in all, I thought it was a great representation of life as a young gladiator, and I felt empathy for all characters. 7/8
on 7/21/2014 7:20:32 PM with a score of 0
on 7/21/2014 3:55:19 PM with a score of 0
Amazing game. I love it and can't wait to play the sequel. I especially liked the point system with the people, although. I wish there was an option somewhere where you can save both your friends. But it was still amazing and I can't wait to see what the rest of the trilogy has in store!
on 7/21/2014 5:44:27 AM with a score of 0
This was by far the best game I have read on this site. Usually, when I write a review, I tell the author how they can make the story better. But, in this case, I honestly have nothing to tell you. This game was perfect, immaculate. The reputation system was blended into the story perfectly. The number of outcomes that could be affected by the reputation system was so immense that I am certain that I could not count them all. The only thing I could ask for would be a way to see your relationships with the characters as well as the stats, but, seeing as how you were trying to steer clear of items, I think the absence of such a system is excusable. Seeing the sheer amount of effort it took to make this game, I have decided to give you an 8/8.
on 7/18/2014 10:30:43 PM with a score of 0
Wonderful. I managed to survive the entire game. It was sad, having to kill all of those people in the Gladiator, but had I not done just that, we would have died. Keeping on good terms with Mistress was good to. I did my best.
Overall, excellent story game, and I hope to see more!
-- Jade A. Gillette on 7/17/2014 10:20:05 PM with a score of 0
It's been more than a year since I played a storygame in this site. This one almost made me cry. Too bad I let Zeru die. And lulu seems to be less of a friend now. Can't wait to play the next chapters!
-- toni on 7/13/2014 8:32:59 PM with a score of 0
This is by far one of the best games on this site. (In my opinion.) Keep up the good work, Briar_Rose.
on 7/12/2014 10:24:50 AM with a score of 0
This was a very great story, to bad there wasnt more to it
-- Austin on 7/5/2014 7:56:22 PM with a score of 0
A sizable snippet from whatever is in that head of yours. I like the nice little variations of language you gave the characters; it makes for a change of pace with each relationship you want with each of the other characters. Still haven't seen a greater effect with character relationships yet, though I suppose it should've carried on to later sequences when reputation really matters.
on 7/4/2014 5:06:14 PM with a score of 0
Fantastic! Can't wait for sequel...
-- Darius on 7/4/2014 5:42:50 AM with a score of 0
it reminds me of the hunger games and the movie gladiator i hope you continue the story 10/10
on 7/2/2014 11:48:43 PM with a score of 0
This was sooooo frickin good.
-- Sieg on 7/1/2014 12:54:32 AM with a score of 0
keep up the good work
on 6/27/2014 11:24:55 AM with a score of 0
Lost of words, simply amazing.
on 6/25/2014 8:19:25 AM with a score of 0
I gave it an 8....nuff said...can't wait for the sequel
-- amoeba on 6/24/2014 4:22:36 AM with a score of 0
Very good and i want the second part.
on 6/21/2014 4:22:10 PM with a score of 0
Really great read, honestly I liked the whole thing. The tragedy in the beginning being sold by your own father and then you fighting for survival and how you can interact with the others. I wish you could keep track of your disposition with everyone and maybe have certain events that will happen due to disposition like befriending Zeru high enough where he teaches you some new moves for being a good friend. Overall it was a really great read.
-- J on 6/14/2014 11:36:40 PM with a score of 0
on 6/8/2014 6:21:32 AM with a score of 0
Damn good cant wait for more
-- Ryan on 6/4/2014 9:27:03 PM with a score of 0
Amazing!! Can't wait for the next edition!!
on 6/3/2014 1:25:01 PM with a score of 0
on 6/1/2014 4:36:48 AM with a score of 0
on 5/26/2014 8:32:36 AM with a score of 0
Very good, cant wait for the squeal.
on 5/25/2014 12:47:40 PM with a score of 0
8/8 The story is amazing. The characters are full of life. I was drawn in, and I'm looking forward to more. Your doing very well. Please keep up the good work. :)
on 5/20/2014 1:22:29 PM with a score of 0
Nice job. The story was good, but noticed no real impact on the story by approval. Then again, I was pretty much nice to everyone, so maybe there was some impact.
on 5/3/2014 1:38:31 PM with a score of 0
when is the 2nd part coming out? Very good. Would like to see when you have your freedom to go back and kill your father for selling you.
on 5/1/2014 3:03:49 PM with a score of 0
Loved the style of writing, you obviously put a lot of effort into it. Well thought out characters, I can't wait to see the sequel, keep up the good work!
on 5/1/2014 12:50:45 AM with a score of 0
Just Awesome! Can't wait for the next one!
on 4/30/2014 11:48:18 AM with a score of 0
This is my 3rd time playing a game from ChoosYourStory and I'm really impress with all of the story that I have played so far. But there's a part where a few choices doesn't seem to be like what I thought. For example, the part when you are about to free yourself from the shackles. I thought if I free myself, I could try to free my brother and run away but instead, I was 'force' to leave my brother alone in the ship...
Other than that, the rest of the story was pretty good. Keep it up! =D
-- Nio on 4/26/2014 12:54:11 PM with a score of 0
What I love about this story, is how it flawlessly illustrates both the youth gladiators of Rome and how they were treated as slaves from foreign lands as I am constantly reminded that people from all over the world are being packed into these ships and sent off to an unknown land. It paints the image of hopelessness, being trapped, and not knowing if I am even going to make it through the journey. Even making the choice of who gets a piece of bread carries its weight of the uncertainty if this will be my last meal.
The characters all had their own personality to them that just jumps right out of the page simply through the way I can hear them talk. However, some of them still have some room for development since the only ones that I can relate to is my brother and the first girl I meet. This doesn't take away from the story, but it makes me question why I should care about whether or not anybody else but my brother and I live. This includes the instructor, since the interactions that I have with her doesn't give me any incentive to make me care for her. Considering that I haven't known her for too long, it makes me wonder why she already seems to care for me and the others like we're all a family.
Overall, this is a great beginning to a story and I am sure that I'll enjoy the next one just as much if not more. That is why I give The Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost a 7/8.
on 4/25/2014 9:34:33 PM with a score of 0
Excellent story Blair, I can't wait for the next one.
-- Exile on 4/19/2014 12:50:17 PM with a score of 0
Came across it in the newest sections after realising that I completed most of the stories on this site, loved it.
-- C.D. on 4/18/2014 6:07:02 AM with a score of 0
Excellent! I can't wait for the sequel!
-- Warhammerfan on 4/17/2014 10:23:21 PM with a score of 0
excellent and exciting!
on 4/15/2014 1:38:44 PM with a score of 0
cool storygame can't wait for the sequel
on 4/15/2014 7:22:05 AM with a score of 0
Epic, if it was a completely finished game then I might have rated it an 8. :)
Well done, you managed to get me to actually worry about my characters future beyond the next few pages. lol
on 4/15/2014 1:16:23 AM with a score of 0
Very nice, awesome story and can't wait to see part 2.
-- John on 4/14/2014 4:16:48 PM with a score of 0
Fantastic plot action, character development and variables system. Can't wait for the sequel!
on 4/13/2014 7:53:21 PM with a score of 0
Can't wait for the sequel.
on 4/13/2014 4:47:04 PM with a score of 0
I thought this was a pretty amazing story, the way the story flows made me feel like I was really there, and the diversity/background of the characters made me get lost in there. 10/10
on 4/12/2014 6:58:00 PM with a score of 0
This was a very fascinating story. It reminds me a lot of Hunger Games, only instead it takes place during times of the Romans mixed in with Greek Mythology. The main characters were very believable, the plot had me on the edge of my seat, and the choices involved were some of the deepest yet. I truly felt immersed into the world of Andreas and really felt like I was facing his pain, troubles, and sense of isolation in a new and unfamiliar world. One perfect example of this is the scene when he hugs his mother as the slave owner drags him away. That had me in tears. Lula and Andreas were, by far, the strongest characters in the entire story. That being said, I did have some gripes. For being a story that's rated on Length 7/8, it sure was short. Also, I felt like Rhode's character softened a little too early for me. It would also be nice if we had more backstories on characters like Gerda, Zeru, or even Brausis. I'm not expecting it to all come out at the same time, but to be revealed along the way. Of all the stories I've read on this site so far, I have to say, this one was very well written. I am highly anticipating the next chapter and hope it comes out soon.
on 4/11/2014 12:28:23 AM with a score of 0
A very good story with a lot of potential for the following stories! Keep working at it and it'll be even better!
on 4/10/2014 10:04:22 PM with a score of 0
i hope you get done with the other two parts soon.
on 4/10/2014 8:40:25 PM with a score of 0
In response to bjhovey's comment, there's a way to win the final battle where none of your team mates die. See the walkthrough for details.
on 4/10/2014 5:55:12 PM with a score of 0
It was really good, but I have one thing. I think there should be a way in the battle scene, where if you do everything perfectly you only lose one slave. But then again, that did turn out really well.
on 4/10/2014 5:03:41 PM with a score of 0
please make a sequel
on 4/9/2014 11:44:13 PM with a score of 0
Absolutely beautiful! I greatly anticipate the next installments!
on 4/9/2014 11:05:11 PM with a score of 0
A very powerful story with deep meaning. Rarely, somebody can make a masterpiece like this. The title page is quite appropriate and the storygame flowed quite smoothly. The only big complaint that I have is that it is too short! However, as it was said, there shall be a sequel. The choices are especially wonderful and are difficult to answer. The Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost is a storygame where you are a slave and you must find a way to somehow get free. I only hope that the sequel will be as good as this.
on 4/9/2014 7:36:39 PM with a score of 0
Awesome story Briar, can't wait until the next part! 6/8
on 4/9/2014 2:55:16 PM with a score of 0
Great Story Briar!
on 4/9/2014 2:06:35 PM with a score of 0