Ozoni
He is alone
He is alone
He lacks a friend
He lacks a home
And being hungry
Lacks a bone
As from today
He's but a stray
He has no place
Where he can stay
He's but a dog
A lonely dog
Unwanted stray
- Ozoni
Joining on the 9th of March, 2019, Ozoni has officially joined CYS in the late spring migration, the special time of the year where CYS receives newbies from all over the place - some with potential, others not even worth the energy it would take to type out their names. Luckily, Ozoni was part of the former group, and started actively following the forums shortly after he joined the site. Alongside the site, Ozoni has also joined the official Discord server for CYS, where he is also regularly active.
The first post he made - an introductory post regular to all newcomers - stood out amongst all of the other introductory posts made during that time. The reason, however, is more than mere luck - Ozoni has immediately made clear that he is serious about writing and that he is also serious about being a model member of CYS by asking questions about planning out stories, topics considered taboo by CYS standards, and also apparently whether getting dead drunk at 17 is normal (a question I will abstain from answering).
Having gained a general understanding on how people behave on CYS, he ventured out into the rest of the forums, generally adding to the conversations he entered, rarely leaving without saying anything productive and relevant to the topic on hand.
He has also achieved some things many members - even the ones before him haven’t achieved, such as successfully overthrowing the rule of the Challenger of Noobs and taking his title. It is still unknown whether Ozoni intends to keep his status as the Challenger of Noobs - Either way, a quick duel will decide that, but I digress. Furthermore, he has created a contest that has successfully attracted 11 contestants and someone of great influence to oversee the event. The contest, which is to write a five hundred to one thousand word short story, is still currently going on at the time of writing and submitting.
Ozoni’s childhood (Ozoni, you might want to skip the next 500 words!) was not unlike that of many other Australian children, and he has certainly faced many of the hardships his peers faced, like the painfully long kangaroo rides and the constant attacks by animals that may as well be alien. When Ozoni was 2, he was nearly attacked by an infested bunch of bananas containing some of the deadliest spiders in the world. Luckily, he was saved by a pack of wild dingos, which have taken Ozoni in despite not being a dingo. Spending much of his childhood being raised by dingos, Ozoni learned many of the skills that his outback peers learned, like crocodile wrangling, tying jellyfish tentacle knots, and sloth racing. However, Ozoni still realize that the pack was not where he was destined to be, so on one cold June night, he packed up several jars of Vegemite and boarded a raft, headed for a different part of the land down under. The next few months of reintegrating into society has not been easy, but he was taught well by the dingos, and he soon discovered his talent for writing.
However, Ozoni was not out of trouble just yet. Attracted by his scent (which, considering he lived with a pack of dingos for many years must not of been very pleasant), a great quantity of dropbears has arrived while he was settling into his new home. Despite hiding in the pouch of a kangaroo which was conveniently hidden in a crocodile’s mouth, the dropbears made quick work of tracking Ozoni down, and a grand battle ensued.
Even with Ozoni’s training and Australian instinct, the dropbears were a really tough crowd, and most unfortunately, they have claimed all of his fingers except for his thumbs, which miraculously remained intact.
Having to carry the burdens of having nearly no fingers, Ozoni resorted to alcohol and Vegemite. Whenever Ozoni was sick of having only two fingers, all he had to do was to either take a swig or to make himself a Vegemite sandwich. Alas, the latter was more expensive on the long run, so he resorted primarily to alcohol, and all was well. That was, until he heard of a site called CYS, a place where he can channel his skill in writing. So he made an account and introduced himself. He asked a few questions, but amongst them was one fateful question:
“Is it normal to get black-out drunk at the tender age of 17?” he asked the population of CYS, and he got several answers, although one stood out more than the others:
“Only if you are Irish.”…
After finishing the bottle he was carrying with his two thumbs, he has decided that while it was impossible to spontaneously become Irish, he might possible find a loophole if he had Irish blood. So he searched far and wide, looking for a suitable person to steal blood from, to justify his drinking and Vegemite habits - even if the latter is solely due to his Australian blood. After a while of searching he has found one ideal target, a man who looked like a failure at first glance, in the process of failing miserably against a new person - although the new guy was failing even worse. Ozoni, having found his target, approaches the chaos that was a duel, ending in failure for both sides.
“You are a disgrace,” A stern short elf scolds the kneeling person, “Penalized. The other guy was banned. How do you lose against the likes of him?!” the elf demands, still chastising the new guy. Ozoni watches as the man pulls out a flask - yes, a flask - and takes a swig. Just like a true Irishman! A suitable target!
“Hey Ozoni,” the elf addresses Ozoni. He turns to face her, but is surprised at her next words. “You are the new challenger of the noobs.”
*Note: This is kind of why I do not write when I am hopelessly tired. I will try to make a better slightly less offensive one once I get some sleep. Please do not reply to this, this is quite an embarrassing post to edit lock,*