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Almost 2 years ago I posted the Rap Battle thread after accidentally challenging Enterpride to a rapping competition. After a hard-fought battle, I concluded that there were no winners because neither of us could rap properly. This year is different because, for the second anniversary, the Rap Battles are open to everyone (No matter how bad or good) who can participate!

Rules:

No, using Chat GPT, I will know (trust me).  

Saying fuck over and over is not a good way to win, "Don't you have any better words to use, or has modern society tainted your mind." - Abgeofriend's Grandfather (That's all he said in his will) 

That's it, it is pretty much a free-for-all 

Judging:

If this forum really blows up, ( like last time) and it's unclear who the winners are, I'll have to rope stargirl back into it to judge. But most of the time it's pretty easy to tell Rap Gods apart from Noobs, (Like me). 

How it works:

The first two people who want to battle will battle each other, once I validate you may begin. (You can post in any order) And after a hard-fought battle, me and maybe stargirl will decide the winner. Just tell me if you want to rap battle and I'll pair you with someone. If you want to rap a specific person you can make a request. My hope is to, unlike last time, make this organized while still maintaining a balance of rage and order. 

Extra Stuff:

You don't have to be nice, just don't go too far. 

Wait your turn 

Don't judge me if this forum has one post on it.

Happy Rapping,

-abgeofriends

@stargirl 

 

No

Yo Ace,  man boii, I wanted to write a nice poem for you and to have fun with rhyming stuff again.

 

My rap is on fleek, your rhymes are too weak

No cap, you freak, your life's a losing streak

 

Wished your dad had learnt his pull out game

But too bad, Kentuckian pigs have terrible aim

The moment ace's mom saw her own son,

Her palm went straight for the shotgun

Alas, even god's son cannot see any worth,

Right after his 'stillbirth', he'd yeeted him back to earth

 

Though he grew up, his road was only down

Always the runner up, to be the worst in town

Fully grownup, never cleaned his microwave

Yup, yup, thought of this craven act as brave

With all this shame, why name yourself Ace?

Oh I know why, you're such an Ace,

An Ace in defacing the human race.

Ha, you couldn't even save face

During that little self imposed contest with Dark

 

Never knew how hard pigs could bark

Without leaving a dent nor greasy mark

On his laptop or other writing tool

The writing would sure win an A mark

In fucking pre school

 

Even me, the vilest Dutch would throw him in a ditch

Would kick him in the shin if he dared to twitch

For once try to be cool, so jump and sink in the pool

Oh that would be too cruel

That fat would make you float :(

Like a giant blubber boat

Well then for once be no fool

Go drown in your own drool

 

Can't wait to see how this unfolds

It's Ace and CYS. This is likely all you're going to get for another 2 years

True

What I see here, it seems
Is a battle of extremes
One skeleton with skin
Against the mother of all chins

Ace321 cannot jump, cannot run
Skin so white. Untouched by the sun
Flesh so marbled that if he lived long ago
He'd be carved into a statue by Michelangelo

In contests he's a flop
Why doesn't he just stop?
But he won't read this rap
So this subject, I will drop

As for the chink
Your rhymes kinda stink
Your insults are weak
Like your arms
What a freak

Orange and yellow are your colors like the fall
If you wanna rap, then I'll play hard ball
You gruel sucking, dick munching enemy of all
You left yourself open. Get ready for a brawl

Now one thing about this guy I want made clear
Is that under no circumstances is Darius a queer
He just acts that way as a joke, do ya hear
He's as straight as an arrow (or at least fairly near)

Darius is sick. Likes to write 'bout werewolf dick
He says he doesn't like it, but that guy ain't slick
The only thing about Darius that's long and thick
Is his stories. Are they interesting? Not a lick

This rice eating windmill nigger thinks he's bad
He thinks his rhymes are fire, even ironclad
If I had to guess what made him snap and drove him mad
It's the spurnings from his sister that make him so sad.

(Be lenient. I'm nearly half white)

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen. Especially about Darius, that line made my grandpa come back to life.

Alright Petros, I'll bite, otherwise this page would be an empty sight. Lemme pull out the receipts and cite.

 

You dare to say my lines are shit

While stealing all o' them bit by bit

Weak? Freak? Won't you just quit

With swiping my poppin' wit

 

But fine, I'll critique what you write

So about the wrath of the Edomite

You swore your half black heritage is airtight

But all I can see is a mush of bland and white

I've never witnessed such crass and no class, when this lass

From bumfuck Arkansas dares to hand out the n word pass

Your letters be so mayo bright, gives real black people real fright

That the KKK might invite you to the cross burning night

 

This'll hit like a brick. Know what else is sick?

Petros acts as if 'it's a boy' isn't his fave chick flick

All while wanting to lick that werewolf dick

Have y'all seen his comment that the admins commend?

Imagine the weekend he spend typing text walls with no end.

All with the conclusion: "I would recommend"

 

Oh god, the internalized homophobia is as bad as Cel

Very sad to see you wallow in denial, even Suranna can tell

It's okay to have the Serbian twink on speed dial,  just ring the bell

Bitch