I duck behind the waterlogged craps table and flip it in front of the guards' flying bullets. Check the clip. Eight rounds. Got another in my pocket. I hop over the table, firing as I go. Bullets fly into the chests and faces of the mobsters. The bartender throws a shuriken, deflected with a spin of my pistol. He continues to throw the blades as I run towards him. I leap into the air and fire a round into his head. A collapsing poker table breaks my fall, scattering roaches everywhere. With a grunt, I stand. A katana narrowly misses my head. I find my gun is empty, but slam the pistol into the swordsman's stunned face. Reloading, I shoot him in the head. The guards dealt with, I turn back to the cowering poker dealer that started this whole ordeal. He cringes as I shout at him, "Alright, give me my damn money! Cheating bastard..." "I swear, sir! I wasn't cheating! You just got really unlucky!" He whimpers as I grab his wrist and yank downwards. Cards tumble from his sleeve. He looks at me and grins sheepishly. I put a round in his face then take my cash.
I duck behind the waterlogged craps table and flip it over before the bullets strike the wood. They tear right through the plywood and stained felt, and I bleed out on the floor like I wish would happen to all the rest of you in this miserable embarassment of an Order.
"Around 200 words but no hard limit." Apparently you missed that one. You're also referring to a guy who has placed top two in the Warden Order and published several well-regarded storygames, including one that is in the top fifty on this site, as lazy.
Please show me the storygames you've published. Oh wait, you haven't written shit for any of them, according to sneak peek.
The commendations you've amassed? Oh. You don't have any.
Fuck all the way off. You're a lazy idiot who likes to masquerade as a tryhard. You're giving off ThatIndianGuy vibes honestly.
"Like when your ex would ask if you could last two minutes and then quickly amend that to eight seconds being just fine"
That actually wouldn't be a proper analogy given the part where he exceeded the word count, rather than coming up short. Also, you didn't even critique the writing itself, simply the word count. As for why I commented, I saw your comment in the "Recent Posts" on the front page, which is when I discovered the existence of this thread.
You're still sidestepping the main point I made, which is that if the Wardens are so terrible and you are so than them, where is your work to show for it? So far, you've proven yourself to be nothing other than a noob who runs his mouth with no substance behind his words.
I'm also gonna go ahead and point out a flaw in the edit of Chris' story you made: "Check the clip. Eight rounds. Got another in my pocket." Your edit leaves it unclear to the reader if you have another round or another clip in your pocket, which is why Chris took the time to clarify that it was a clip in the original version.
In your focus on word count (which was not even concrete), you inadvertently created a SPAG error.
I actually wasn't aware of it being created by a Gazette member. All I know is some idiot logged in, started talking about how much everyone sucked compared to him, then got banned. You have access to the IPs though, so can't say you're wrong.
We needed to fill up space, and it was a slow month.
Let's interview SpecialOlympic next!
Or we could ask him to write a 1000-word word essay on his opinions about Wardens and just publish it as an opinion piece.
Oh, but haven't you been listening, Will? SpecialOlympic hates Wardens so much he can't let them get any credit for his literary genius. That's why he has to hold himself back from writing or contributing anything other than low-tier shitposting.
To the best of my knowledge, we all just thought he was a shitposting noob with delusions of grandeur.
For the record, Chris, this is pretty good. Fit the prompt exactly, and the entire story reads like an action movie scene. Granted, some parts were a bit "over-the-top" and unrealistic, such as deflecting and shooting shuriken blades. I'm also not sure if detailing how many bullets are in the gun was really necessary given you don't tell us how many mobsters were killed or how many shuriken were deflected. Simply checking the clip, then proceeding to fire would have sufficed. Overall, well done, yet writing it clearly was not taken too seriously. Given it's a short story this is understandable.
If you have a prompt for me, I'd be willing to give it a try.
Oh don't worry it's just his account at risk.
