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Oh god, It's parent teacher conferences today..... Ways to possibly save my life? (And a slice of dignity)?

Break your leg. That way, your parents will pity you enough to disregard your poor academic performance.

Well, That's a good idea, but I would want to save self-abuse as a last resort.

If you wait, you won't be able to make it look like an accident as easily.

Hmmm.... I suppose you are right, But I'm serious though, there has to be another, ya know, not gross and extremely painful way to do this..

How many teachers do you have?

Uhm.... Six.

And how much money do you have in your checking/savings accounts?

Absolutely zero monies....

How badly are you doing in those classes?

No F's so far, but my mother is really strict with D's. I have two of those X3

Hmm...I don't know how to handle that. When I was a kid, I really had nothing my parents (or stepparents) could take away from me or friends they could keep me from seeing.

Same. Although the reason I don't have anything to be taken away is because it was normally already taken away...

Just relax bro... i have a lot of Bad grade and.... my mom never mad at me. tell her that you are working hard enough to get those grade even you get two D's

Well if I tell her that, she's gonna know i'm lying. My mom is obviously not like yours. My mother is a "Drill sargeant." kind of mom. So, yeah.

If you're accustomed to not having your stuff, why are you worried?

Anyway ... well, you're not going to like it, but the way news is presented has a lot of impact on people. I really do mean a lot. I'm not ... necessarily encouraging you to use scientifically backed brain hacks on your parents, mind you, but I am suggesting that you tell them before your teachers do. Parents tend to be more ... lenient when that happens because it feels more like you're being honest and coming to them for help as opposed to getting caught screwing up via teacher intervention.

Just choose your words very, very carefully and you can steer the tone of the conversation to something more ... well, maybe not favorable, but you can at least do damage control.

Yeah, the teachers really seem to like me for sure, but it's the two D's I'm worried about. Good thing my family is visiting this week, and she can't get made at me, huh?

... I'm not thoroughly convinced, based on your somewhat bizarre response, that you read my suggestion. xD

During the conversation I mentioned, by the way, you could try promising to get a tutor and start applying yourself more to get them to go easy on you. Speaking of, I have a good suggestion on how to avoid this all together in the future: Actually get a tutor and start applying yourself more. :P

I already HAVE a tutor....

Lol.

What are the D's in?

If it's something like gym or art maybe you can talk your way out of it better than you could for math and science.

EDIT: Just out of curiosity, do they even teach kids cursive writing anymore?

I think they still teach it in Elementary but I only ever saw one person in high school who actually used it on a daily person.

Nah, it stopped after 4th grade and it wasn't a thing anymore. Now cursive is just something I do when print gets boring.

Sounds boring.

I use cursive daily for sure, and they actually do have a class for that in my school.

An entire class devoted to teaching people how to write cursive? Sounds more like a class to mess around in.

Yeah they taught us cursive writing in-between the regular math and english stuff over the course of a few weeks in second grade. Never heard of an entire class being dedicated to it.

About the only dedicated writing class I can think of was one on Shorthand that was offered for a half semester in high school, but that was it.

Meh. In JH I used to use some classes like that to write over-the-top erotica...

Implying that there's classes you don't use up writing over-the-top-erotica...

Yeah, there are... I waste some on CYS.

Face it like a man. Like I do.

Never had any problems with it.

 

Or, alternatively, turn to prostitution.

Step One: Move to Nevada.

Step Two: Find some people with some kinks.

Step Three: Profit.

Yes, but avoid Texas, people are into CP there.

>_> What?

child porn, mate.

Or  alternatively, corn pussies.

I'm aware of what you meant. I was responding to your statement as a whole.

I'm a Texan, bra, and I ain't into kiddy porn. I hang out around people who'd probably pull a gun on you if they believed you were making it. CP is everywhere, granted, so I'm not denying that those kinds of people live here. They do and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a problem, but I still don't know why you singled out Texas. ?_?

There are multiple states that have a bigger problem in that regard. We're one of the largest states, so it would make sense for us to statistically be in like ... the top 3, at least, due to probability, but we're not.  

Arkansas is actually the worst of all 50, with well over double the stats on sex offenders in the population, even though Arkansas has roughly 3 million people and Texas has 26 million. Just saying, if you're going to make an accurate joke... 

Well, yeah, we're also, like, teenage pregnancy capital of America. That, and I don't even know why people bother to get married here, since 90% of all marriages seem to end within 5 years.

I was actually referring to the corn, you know. 

 

@Mtactical
Let us know how it went.

Welp, My parents went without me to the conferences, and my family (who were visiting) got back from chicago (To drop off other family members at the airport) and were there to provide some cover for the demon from hell that my mother could have become. Mom came home and gave me seventeen billion assignments and said "Get them done." She told me that I needed have my teachers sign my homework and say when it was due... Damnit mom.

Compared to the stuff other people put up with that hinders work and diligence (hours-long rants, lack of dinner and sleep, high stress, etc.), you got off easy.  Start doing them.

Of course.