Got a rather longwinded comment on Dead Man Walking, but as the game itself is very longwinded, it fits.
Some of the observations are a little off, but I found it interesting enough to post here – like EndMaster has done with some of his more colorful comments.
So, I’m going to nitpick the nitpicking a little (blue text is the original comment; black text is mine) – but I was also curious about what you thought about some of the points. Agree/Disagree/Apathy…?
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I'm just gonna go ahead and give this a thorough nitpicking.
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Hell-dogs? Considering your virus' compatibility with rabies in any animal--can't be just dogs, think about that--I'd be hard pressed to find anything still alive in the wilderness or in the city within a few days, given the size, power and durable structure of these rabid zombie-animal variants.
>Not sure the distinction really matters in the context of a zombie apocalypse game where the focus is zombies and the Hellhounds are more or less just window dressing to break up the monotony a little.
But if we want to go deeper down the rabbit hole, then why not? The Virus interacts with dogs that have rabies. Not with rabies. Not with dogs. But dogs that have rabies. Rabid raccoons? Nope. different DNA; different integration. Why? Because Fantasy, that’s why. Simple enough.
I have to complain that the boy seems too reactive when we first see him. I would have expected him to continue cowering in silence, considering the fact that he didn't see the shooters, and would be understandably suspicious of you, not to mention the "don't talk to strangers" rule--that is of course, until you make it clear that you're here to help(I didn't kill him). Also... "Mr. Greg"? Can I just say "just call me Greg"?
>Um, OK, fair enough. That’s possible. Not really sure how a six/seven year old would really react to such a situation, but had to have some sort of interaction, so there it is (my best shot) for what it’s worth.
How many times has Greg yelled at zombies by the time I've heard the stranger do the same? None.
>Not even sure why the stranger dealing with the situation differently than the protagonist might, would be an issue for anyone… ?
This stranger was supposedly going to kill Greg's wife, but when he called her(I called her) days earlier, she was still alive. Why didn't he kill her after sexually assaulting her? What reason did he have to hold onto her? To get to Greg? I'm disappointed that there isn't even a shred of exposition for this.
>When you call your wife, she is not being threatened with death – she is being held captive. Why? Well… If you need someone to explain the base motivations of an escaped convict presented with a shelter AND a woman, simultaneously, in the Zombie Apocalypse… Better just PM EndMaster…
...A kiss. Are you serious. Transmission through a bite, which means direct contact with the bloodstream, can take as long as 3 hours to turn the victim, but a kiss, via saliva which may not even have been swallowed yet--let alone spread the infection to the blood, where every transmission ultimately must go(and definitely would not have achieved in this case)--can turn a victim in seconds? We're talking about a brain-cooking mind controller, not a cold sore. Not to mention the saliva-burns I got from killing that bathroom-zombie by the bridge, wouldn't the fluid seared into living tissue, thus leaving behind traces of the infection that could enter the blood? Even if not, I still have to call BS on this one.
>I’m sorry that you find this particularly over-used contagion cliché hard to suspend your disbelief with.
Transmission through saliva (not bite per say, but the saliva) isn’t new to the genre and I can’t take credit for it. It has been used in dozens of zombie and pandemic movies before (28 Days Later being the inspiration in this particular case).
As for how long for turning from one person to another? Who really cares? It’s a plot device. But if folks want a pseudo-scientific reason, then I’d say that it depends on the overall constitution of the person and the potency of the contagion at the time of exposure. Remember the explanation of it at the end of the game? The original gas contagion was almost instantaneous? So it goes that a Carrier’s Saliva could be at least as effective.
Black jeans. Leather jacket. steel-toed boots. Biker gloves. Wave-cap. This is what an accountant wears during off-hours? Aside from the wave-cap, you'd think he used to cosplay as the Road Warrior. All he needs now are shoulderpads.
>I laughed when I read this at the imagery. Good stuff.
But Biking gloves and a dew rag (under a biking helmet) are what mountain bikers wear and we established that the protagonist was an avid mountain biker.
I can see though how the whole ensemble could evoke the badass biker image – while my intent was more subtle. Plain black leather jacket – not biker jacket. Work boots, not black shin-high Doc Martins.
But anyway, the protagonist was starting to be somewhat badass at that point in the story, so maybe it fits either way …
Old badass black man. Accompanied by younger black man. Speculated to be more inside the looted and otherwise abandoned gun store. These are the only black men in the story that I've encountered. I think. Usually a different color/ethnicity is pointed out when visual presentation is lacking.
>Sorry that I was unable to successfully convey here that the black man and his son where the owners of the (not abandoned) gun store. Not sure why one would automatically assume they were looters protecting their haul though…
Not sure it helps with diversity, but I also have a ‘China Man’ hidden in the story somewhere if it makes you feel better. Incidentally, he too is at risk of being turned by your saliva (you dirty dog you) ;)
I found shotgun shells early on, then a shotgun, then a double-barrel, and made it as far as said gun store without being presented an opportunity to shoot it before stocking up with ALL the ammo I could possibly want in trade for vintage guns, whilst keeping two revolvers, a shotgun, and a rifle. Was there any point to me discovering that ammo at the first gun store?
>Yeah, ammo does come in handy if you get home before the stranger is killed AND you never called your wife.
"The zombies are chasing a groundhog--for some reason." Yeah, to EAT IT.
>It’s a Cameo – it doesn’t have to make perfect sense – but that works too.
So we've got Fox Park, River Road...what's the name of the school?
>As far as the protagonist is concerned, it’s just ‘the girls’ school’. He probably knows the name of it – like ‘Shenango County Education Complex’ or something like that – but he never really has a reason to say it in-character during the story…
A course mower. I was expecting the zombies to topple over on top of it(with or without mangled feet), crawl up to the seat and dig into Greg the Idiot. But no, he didn't die. Physics was such a blast, huh?
>Not sure what is being critiqued here…
Why would a bus driver have access to a crowbar at work? And if the zombies were trying to get in, why would the windows be broken outward with glass on the outside instead of on the inside?
>In the USA, all school buses are required by law to carry a crowbar, fire extinguisher, first aid kit, reflective road triangles, and a CB Radio.
As for the glass? That’s just splitting hairs. If you break glass, some goes in, some goes out. My bad for not being more precise with the flavor text.
"God no! is it too late?" "Could it be? Did the kids on the bus manage to--" SHUT. UP! This in-my-brain-thinking-my-thoughts-for-me style of second person narration drives me up the wall. Personal gripe.
>Too bad in real life you have zero control of what thoughts enter your mind from time to time. But while you cannot keep some thoughts from spontaneously forming, you can control how you react to those thoughts – whether you dismiss them, chew on them, or act on them.
So ‘you’ had some errant thoughts pop into your head that were not your own – big deal. That shit happens. Just consider them the ‘voices in your head’ if that helps you sleep at night…
This school has athletic fields, a football field, a gymnasium, damned if it don't have EVERYTHING a high school ought to have, but the kids are 7 and 10 years old?? That's gotta be one expensive budget to spend on your run-of-the-mill elementary playground.
>Maybe you missed that it is a School Complex? An elementary school, a middle school, a high school, and an administrative building all on the same campus? It’s a real school complex BTW (yes, with a country club).
And I really don’t see how you could have missed that the survivors in the gymnasium ranged from all the grades – K-12 (not just 7 to 10 year olds).
Scumbag survivor-dad: "Do what I say, or you're gonna die!"
>Hmm context here is concern for children’s safety and ensuring they grasp the severity of the situation. It is not a threat.
Scumbag police officer: "Don't leave the school without your parents, or I'll kill you!"
>Not quite… The cop is telling the teenagers that they cannot leave with the protagonist (who is not their parent BTW). And that he will kill anyone that threatens the well-being of the group. He is establishing that he’s ready to stop anyone before they can do something stupid enough to risk letting the zombies in to eat everyone’s brains.
Did the school survivors not just thank me three minutes ago for telling them about the food they could loot from the country club and a safe way to get there? And as I'm about to leave with my children, are they really gonna flipflop now and say they'll never be able to do it alone?
>Why would they want to do that and risk facing the undead when ‘Rambo The Zombie Slayer’ could do it for them? Of course they would ask for that little favor.
Greg doesn't wait for the girls to get in the car and close the door before firing off gunshots that would most likely pop their ears and his at the same time. I don't even know if he's fired a gun before.
>At that point there wasn’t much choice – and the exact distance between Greg and his family isn’t hashed out. As for firing a gun before – it is revealed in his memories returning that he has fired shotguns before at the very least.
Ending: Seriously? You're going to pin the deaths of Jacob and my wife on me? That's stupid. I didn't kill them.
>That’s just semantics. Did you mean to give them the zombie virus? No, but you did technically kill them…
Either way, it would weigh on the protagonist pretty heavily and he might very well blame himself.
Different ending
Death: Seriously? Did the sheriff just pop one off in my face without consideration for how I'd like to deal with my own imminent death? Worst case, I'd have expected him to leave me behind, but that's just completely cold, and downright questionable from a narrative standpoint.
>Meh, it is what it is – especially in zombie fiction. You see it all the time. Once someone is bit, the survivors initially struggle with having to kill their former friend, but after a while, it just becomes automatic.
Different ending
Is one of the options seriously to bring along some boys for food transfer when we've clearly established--by my daughter's ages and the boys' behavior--that they can't be older than 10?
>As noted above – I have no idea how you missed that all but one of these volunteers where 18 years old, not 10…
Zombie virus details: What is this, Resident Evil?
>Sort of a vague there critique isn’t it? But yeah, there are some ‘interesting’ zombie mutations to encounter in the game…
Sentence: Umbrella Corp. (experimentation wing D: Rabies)
Erh, *cough* I mean, Rating: 4(slightly more fun than homework)
>Your prerogative to rate how you like, so fair enough. Thanks for playing :)
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Dead Man Walking (Zombie Survival)
Hbh128 (Score of 20415)
9/14/2013 3:21:29 AM
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