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Happy holidays everyone! The yule log is burning (either good or bad depending on what you think a yule log is) the goblins have come in the night to pick the reindeer crap off our rooves in order to fertilize their fungal farms, and the family is all gathered inside in the warm to discuss their deeply held political beliefs. A tradition that has become absent from CYS for TOO LONG! The bi-weekly threads about abortion and Israel have played themselves out, and suddenly it feels like there just isn't any political bait that the kids care about anymore. I've come to change that today. With this handy chart, which tackles the issues, topics, and opinions relevant to us, the citizens of idyllic Cystia.




SCORING:

Now, I know what you're thinking, "I'm checking all these boxes, how can I tell where I am!?". And there are two schools of thought, either the Bingo Method, where your beliefs are defined by whichever square you have a bingo in and then the spectrum with the most other checked boxes in it. The other is the Detailed Method, where you add all the ones you got together using the point labels on the axes (... Axese? Axises!? Axi!!?) of this graph. We'll use mine as an example.

According to Bingo Rules, I'm an everywhere-extremist, but primarily a far-right libertarian fascist. Using the Detailed method, I'm about 20 points conservative and 23 points authoritarian, so it's about the same. The differences in those otherwise inclined may surprise you! I hope to see political philosophies as beautiful and diverse as our userbase. Happy discourse!

This will be good information to have on the populace in the days leading up the the purge.

Impressive!

There may be too many Discord injokes in here for the average forum dweller. But that is their failing, not yours.

That explains much. Farewell my innocence, genuinely thought that "futa" was a kind of japanese brand stuffed animal.

I mean, something gets stuffed.

Innocence and Japan don't belong in the same sentence.

Better that you learned it here rather than on the street.

The forum jokes that are there are very old ones, and also there's a few from the our Minecraft server, and references to King of Dragon Pass which is the magical viking/god LARPing/cow appreciating CYOA that is mandatory for all true CYStians to enjoy.

I'm sorry, your really had no chance. (Although even the most casual forum user can still have correct opinions about Eternal, War Chimp, and making cowboy hats out of the skin of doomed colonists.)

I guess one of these days I should probably explain what a noongar is.

Anyone who checks all 25 squares instantly transcends reality and ascends to godhood.

Augh, so close to slipping these mortal chains.

I'm in the BOTTOM right of the political compass chart.
(It doesn't specify *which* Discord server you had to be banned from...)

Doesn't actually read games, last game written 2+ years ago, cave of time simps. Gryphon, you really did your research.

You didn't get double bingo, you need 5 in a row. You only got that diagonal one, same as me.

Yeah, you got 1 bingo going in this line:   \

But you said double bingo, so I figured you might have been counting the 4 diagonally under it too, but it wouldn't count since you need 5.

 

Fucking hell, I don't know how I didn't notice that. Lol.

If you were just a little lazier with the writing, you could've bingoed twice! But now you'll never be a true CYStian.

The funny thing is I've qualified for that square on more than one occasion since it usually takes me about 3 years to produce a new story anymore.

Pure, Vile, Deadly, prevents me though for awhile.

I am extremely pleased to see that "madGlee is my favorite mod" is included. I assume that's a free square for nearly everyone.

I think the current theocratic state only recognizes Endmaster, but there's surely to be cultists secretly performing rites all along who are feeling pretty gratified now that one of the elder gods showed up.

Really glad to see Mommy republished too.

In whispers only do the grey-beards speak of Madglee, devourer of trolls. They say he cleansed the forums during the Night Unending, then buried himself in a smoking mountain to sleep in the fiery bowels of the world until his prophesied return.

You have always been my favorite.

Alive, finally, and I've waded into a theocratic era. Excellent. Thanks re Mommy. About time I write something else, although I couldn't help but tinker a bit with it. I've forgotten most of the coding.

So that's how it is.

Oh right.

Sorry Madglee, you're in third place.

The lion cares nothing for the opinion of the sheep.

Ouch.

I stole that from Bugsy McGoo of Game of Thrones fame.

Two backhanded compliments are better than one, I always say.