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An Open Letter to the Poopwoman

6 months ago
Commended by Ford on 10/16/2023 5:34:00 PM

It is useless to PM you at this point. Who can say what account you're even on? They never last more than 5 minutes. For the past week or so most of what you've been doing has been so far beneath my notice, that it may as well have been 18 different, smaller retards running around on the forums to me. Perhaps I was so busy shitposting elsewhere that I felt my attention could be spent on better things. Or perhaps in my worry-filled older years I simply did not wish to come to terms with the fact that all of these deeply retarded acts were the product of a single, deranged twelvie with a stunted mind. But then I actually read through the thread about looking at womanbutt in a grocery store, and the realization came crashing down upon me like a cow turd after the carnival gravitron turns off.

So I guess I have to ask, Cool or whatever your username is going to be, why are you retarded? How did you become this way? What the hell is motivating you to be this retarded? And how the hell do you persist in becoming more rather than less retarded with each passing banishment? There have been some real retards here in the past, but you have to be one of the stupidest motherfuckers I've seen in at least 5 years. What brings a man this low? What abhorrent chain of events leads one of God's alleged creations to try and impress a writing site with blatant plagiarism of a meme game and then 6 lines about ogling ass at a walmart and pretending that's how strangers talk to one another? What foul and contemptible impetus brings an absolute creature like you to sext a 6 year old in a wheelchair just because her profile picture is a woman? Of all the things you've done here, the only correct call you've ever made on this website was to call me on the admin abuse help line, and I suspect even that was an error born of unholy luck. There's no way somebody with your meager cunning actually had the awareness to intuit that I would be a relatively neutral admin because I never paid enough attention to you to understand the depths of your despicable nature. I had closed my eyes to a situation I did not wish to acknowledge, and for my sinful ignorance, I was nearly USED! How dare you, sir. Go straight to hell, I say!

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
Posts like this make it all worthwhile.

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
Perhaps you should include an audio version of this one, you know, just in case?

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
Let’s get this straight. My username is SJK123, my initials, I am a girl, and I’m 17.

I was trying to make a friend with freshoutoftheoven. I am not a retard and have nothing to do with ‘cooltard’.

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago

I believe none of these things, not least because you are the same kind of retard.

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
Unique Names: Hello12345, , Heyheyhey1, 56789, hello987654321, Hey987654321, Shitty987654321, heyheyhey987654321, fuckinghell, ieatpoopfr, ShinyEmerald, AwesomEmerald, Hello1928, HappyEmerald, ShittyEmerald, Sjk567


Those sexually dressed women do get around.

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
Oh man, we were gotten good. I can't believe I was so easily bamboozled!

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
You were not bamboozled. I am telling the truth.

I don’t know what is up with ISentinelfuckingPenguinI.

If anything, he’s the retard.

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
https://chooseyourstory.com/story/shopping~252c~2bbut~2bfor~2bwhat~253f


Well, if "she" isn't Cooltard, she was either plagiarizing his sexual woman butts, or claiming them as her own, and both are equally products of a damaged mind.

And while she's free to eat all the poop she likes, I also prefer to not be informed.

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago

Stop posting and start being productive unless you want to keep getting banned. If you weren't retarded you would've figured that out by now. 

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago

Last I heard Fresh wasn't interested in your lesbian shenanigans so you've failed on that front as well.

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago

My reputation as a "nice" person on this site may be in danger.

If you really aren't Cooltard, I'm very sorry. However, my response to your writing was genuine. Your excerpt was cringey. It sounded like it was written by a man in the 1800s who had never spoken with a woman in his life and considered himself God's gift to females. And what I said in the message still stands- it has the same vibes as a 14-year-old sexting an AI bot.

I encourage you to try again, and stay away from the forums until things calm down. IF and ONLY if you aren't Cooltard, we can be friends, as long as that's something you still want.

Keep writing! Just maybe try to write things that are realistic, and not nice-guy fantasies.

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
Don't be friends with shit eating whores. This one is banned forever anyway, if they're 17 there's no hope for them. ("Her" first account on the site was called "fuckshitpoopdamn", they've been trolling from the beginning and don't have being a tween as an excuse for any of the fucktardery.)


Cooltard has more of a chance of growing up some day and not being obnoxious anymore, he was just banned for not shutting up.

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago

"She" is SEVENTEEN?

Goodness, I thought "she" was like 13, and my thoughts were "I was cringey when I was younger, maybe she just needs help", but if she's my age then you're probably right, there's no hope

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
Wow. I read your comment about me being friends with you, I thought, “finally, someone who understands!”

But, no. Turns out EVERYONE on this website is fucked up.

I really thought you weren’t kidding about us being friends. :(

Piece of shit.

And I’m not cooltard. Jeez, everybody thinks that.

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago

Nobody thinks you're cool.

Everyone definitely thinks you're a tard though.

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
"hi guys I'm fuckshitpoopdamn, I'm a normal teenage girl and I LOVE cringily ogling SEXUAL WOMAN BUTTS IN GROCERY STORES ME SO HORNY SEX SEX SEX FUCK SHIT POOP DAMN POOP I EAT POOP FR FR I LOVE POOP POOP POOP POOP SHIT PIECES OF SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK SHIIIIIIIT" "...wow, you all sure are fucked up!" :(

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
Okay, Sherb and I have been deep diving into IPs to do some research, and because it doesn't matter anyway I'll go ahead and give SJK this one.

Cooltard was banned for being an annoying kid who couldn't shut up, and SJK will be officially declared a distinct and far more disgusting shit brained, shit eating lesbian whore who happened to show up around the same time.

I don't want to think of some random kid as being associated with this much more perverted kind of retardery if there's any chance they're innocent.


An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago

Bummer....

I have been busy with multiple projects lately and have missed the retard circus.  Hopefully, I will be able to catch the next one.

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
There's not been that much to it, just a typical annoying twelvie who got banned for being annoying and then made a bunch of alts, and then an IP of his happened to cros with that of a grosser and more perverted idiot who was being banned around the same time and also made a bunch of alts.
(https://chooseyourstory.com/forums/writing-workshop/message/29736)

It was just a Cloudflare IP as Sherb has discovered, the mistake has been noted, and they're both still banned.

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
Commended by Ford on 10/18/2023 10:52:55 PM
Who the frick is cooltard

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago

This username had so much potential. What a shame it wasn't taken by someone with more than 2 braincells.

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
This creature btw rated Private Game for Natalie a 3/8 because it wouldn't "get to the point" of letting them paw at themselves with their flapping poop smeared appendages while making walrus noises. Dramatic reenactment:

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago
If it’s a private game, why post it here?

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago

An Open Letter to Cooltard

6 months ago

Because that's not what the point of the game was, you perverse waterhead.

An Open Letter to the Poopwoman

6 months ago
This kind of thread is what keeps me coming back here.

An Open Letter to the Poopwoman

6 months ago

What's peculiar about trolls is that they are stimulated by any response and all attention. The only thing that they abhor is being entirely ignored.

Or it's just akin to 80's prank calling. First, you fixate on some nonsense, such as finding Richard Head MD is actually in the phonebook. Second, your group of delinquents bombard the number with calls, demanding to speak with Dr. Dick Head, until he gets on the phone after the 10th call. Hilarious stuff.