I want to smack you for not having an end game link for deaths.
That's not an end-game link, paint chip eater.
Ahh. Only winners get opinions. Losers, the ones who, oftentimes, are actually taking the time to read most of the story game cannot have an opinion and suggest feedback. What unparalleled genius.
And one with sound.
Ah, that's kind of understandable. There isn't one objective correct style of story-writing around here anyway.
I just objectively like being able to consider deaths a non-standard game over and there being a page that leads to an end-game link for the player to choose right then and there.
But if you want someone to see a proper end until they're able to rate and comment, whatever. That is your choice, but you should make sure the story is good enough and interesting enough for a person to want to reach that point.
From what I've read so far, I don't think that's a problem you'll have.
Started out cool, but too much looping and "turn left/turn right" choices towards the end though for me.
Can't be bothered to play through it again to rate it higher now, though I'd probably leave the rating anyway due to the above issues.
Gave it a 6 due to all the work and dedication that obviously went into it. Plus it was good enough that it caught my attention to actually play willingly in the first place.
Congratulations on publishing.
Seems really impressive from my first playthrough. Looking forward to reading some more tomorrow.